Little over a month ago, I embarked on a heart quest, parallel to my spiritual and physical journey.  In the process of sorting out my feelings, faux pas were committed, apologies made and an important friendship was at least restored to the level of cordiality and politeness.

This morning, for the first time since the morning, in March, 2011, my wife’s soul filled our bedroom with ectoplasmic intensity and woke me with an urgency I had never felt, I was awakened by another person’s spiritual energy.  As it happens, the energy was full of gratitude, assuring me that all was better this morning, after the utter darkness that same treasured soul was expressing last night.

In only a month, I have gone, in my own emotional space, from mistaking my strong feelings for my best friend for some sort of transgenerational, quasi-romantic process, to realizing it is a far deeper and more enduring set of feelings that are at play.  Let me explain.

In the Baha’i Faith, it is recognized that there are many levels of love.  The physical, transitory set of impulses, otherwise known as lust, accompanies physical love, but really has nothing to do with what endures.  One may easily think otherwise, when the person to whom one is drawn is a very physically attractive individual, with a winsome personality. Infatuation dissipates, though, as it has for me on a few occasions over the past year.

The way it is for me now, the awareness that I have of how I feel about this person, is that there will never be a time when her feelings, her thoughts, her dreams and, yes, her own love for her own dear friend will not matter to me more than my own feelings, thoughts and dreams- about anyone or anything.  This is different for me.  I felt this, and more, for Penny, my soul mate, yet now my feelings are an odd mix of parental, fraternal and universal regard for one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known.

What you wish, my friend, may it be granted.  What you strive for, may it be achieved.  What you dream, may it come true.  There is no daylight between these, and what I would do to make them happen.  I will defend your honour, your dignity, and all that you hold dear, until the end of time.  Thanks, my friend, for just being you.