June 8, 2019,Bellemont-
A young woman I’ve known since she was a child will be married, in a few hours. It’s a beautiful day here and, though I will be here at camp, rather than at the wedding, I absolutely wish the new couple every good thing.
One of the key aspects of married life, as well as of any relationship, is not taking offense at one another. Whether mannerisms, tone of voice, inattention to another’s feelings, not doing one’s fair share, or a host of other personal shortcomings, every person has challenges.
We are advised to neither ignore, nor take offense at, another person’s actions, on a personal level. If someone causes harm to another, it is the aggrieved’s right to seek redress, at an institutional level.. It is not, however, the right of anyone to hold grudges, and to carry forward a resolved issue into one’s future dealings with someone.
One surely must protect self from a person, or group of people, who ACTIVELY seek to degrade her/him. Just living differently than the person taking offense, or not doing what the aggrieved thinks is one’s proper course of living, is not, in itself, cause for their bearing a grudge. “Live and let live” has its merits, as a mantra, so long as innocents aren’t made to suffer as a result.
I say this, with regard to those who have taken umbrage at some recent decisions I’ve made-and hold myself to the same standard. I can’t justify a “reverse grudge” at them, either. This is one of the many true aspects of St. Francis D’Assisi’s admonition: “Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me.”
This is so true. You are a civilized person. People are either afraid of me in person or they are offended by decisions, as you understand. I won’t have kids. Even a bigger wrong to their egos: I won’t have sex. Anything that would want to mount me is probably not human itself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sex and parenthood aren’t for everyone. They are window dressing to the life of the soul. I’m glad I had someone dear as my mate and I am proud of our son. That will never cause me to cast aspersions on anyone else.
LikeLike
Holding grudges and taking offense do nothing to “punish” the other person. They only hurt the one holding the grudge or the one holding onto an offense…
LikeLiked by 1 person
So very true, Val!
LikeLike
“reverse grudge” excellent phrase.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. That’s a lot to be thinking about at a wedding! Hope you got to enjoy it. I think I’ll do a post on offense too. Haha!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was not at the wedding. I was actually sixty miles away, serving at a Youth Camp.
LikeLike
Haha! I’m not sure which I would rather be at!
What do you enjoy about working at the youth camp?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Being a role model and safe-keeper of the young people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! What do you teach them?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Character and virtues. Most of it is by modeling and discourse.
LikeLike