The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 14

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 4, 2026- Hana listened, with rapt attention, as a home foundation specialist was explaining his observations to her mother and me. How much she retains from this sort of discourse is anyone’s guess. but it would seem to bode well for when she sits in a classroom and expected to pay attention.

My granddaughter has a very strong sense of place and is finding her way into participating in various situations. There is a canister, in which Yunhee stores yellow beans. Hana used it as a hand drum, this evening after dinner. I played a drum given me by a friend in Arizona, about eight years ago. She stopped her own drumming and started to dance a little bit.

Between her increasing vocalizations and keen awareness, I sense this Autumn is going to find a very active little girl keeping everyone busy.

HANA’S NOTE- I like drums and I am sure Papa will let me play his drum, as long as I don’t try to chew the stick.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2018 When one reaches a certain level, in personal growth, the Universe is there to put that growth to the test. This was a year for me to be tested

The first several months were quiet and peaceful enough. The Spring semester went well in the Autism Program and I made a visit to southern California, focused on Orange County alone-as Aram had been transferred to Busan, South Korea and was thus back to his roots. In June, I headed off on another lengthy cross-continental journey. Carson City was my first stop, for a three-day visit with one of my soul families. Then came places like Pioche, NV; Salida, UT; Limon, CO. Sedalia, MO; Carthsge. Il and my customary stops in Wilmette and Mishawaka.

I felt comfortable about driving in Canada, and so explored a bit of London, ON and Toronto, before stopping in Montreal for a weekend. As it happened, it was Formula 1 Racing Weekend, and the town was a madhouse. I still found a hostel in which to spend Friday night and Sunday night. Saturday would be at an Air BNB, I took in a great deal of Montreal on Saturday, and when it came time for an afternoon walkabout near McGill University, I parked Elantra on a quiet stretch of road, west of the University. 40 minutes later, I returned. My belongings, a suit to be worn at a family wedding and an anniversary gift were all in the back seat. That turned out to be a dumb arrangement. The back left window of the car had been smashed and my laptop, with my passport, was gone. Everything else was left. Once the insurance company had been called and the police had come along and processed the scene, I took Elantra to a parking garage, taped a plastic bag over the window frame and went with my bag to the Air Bnb. I was the only guest, amazingly, so the owner said I could take turns sleeping in each of the the three bedrooms. I found one to be more than sufficient. After a Sunday of exploring more of downtown, I was treated like royalty at the same hostel where I had spent Friday night. On Monday morning, I reported my lost passport to the U.S. Consulate, which alerted the border station in Champlain, NY, that I was cleared to re-enter the U.S. After getting my window replaced, I bid farewell to Montreal and drove to Plattsburgh, NY-my maternal grandmother’s hometown. Grama watched over me the rest of the way. I took in Ausable Chasm, historic sites in Scranton, and Valley Forge, over the next few days, followed by an evening visit to Oley.

Next came Philadelphia, and the wedding of my youngest niece. Aram and Yunhee, seriously dating, flew all the way from Korea for the wedding. It was an exquisite affair, and my family wholeheartedly welcomed Yunhee. The next day was Father’s Day. We all enjoyed the post-wedding brunch at the hotel where the wedding party was staying. Then the three of us bid farewell to the family and went off to explore more of Philadelphia. After an early dinner, I bid bon voyage to Aram and Yunhee, who had to head clear back to Korea on Monday morning. My destination for the evening was Baltimore. I spent the day there, including a visit to Fort McHenry-one of the places we didn’t get to visit on our journey in 2007.

The road then took me southward, with a three-day visit to eastern Virginia’s historic sites- Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown. A short visit with a dear Xanga friend, in Virginia Beach, preceded the historical jaunt. I made what would be my last visit with my mother-in-law, in Spring Hill, FL, afterward, and bought a new laptop there, thus not having to depend on my phone for all communication. Driving back across the South, I visited another Xanga friend in Crossville, TN, then drove westward, taking in the Civil Rights Museum, in Memphis, as well as Beale Street. Three days later, I was back in Prescott.

Passing the test of losing a couple of important possessions was not all that hard. In the Fall, a well-meaning friend thought I needed female companionship. I had a good lady friend in Prescott, already, but he had “a better idea”. The person with whom he connected me was unsettled, had been abused in childhood and was quietly seething-looking for a target. She saw fit to question my very worth as a human being, essentially. After two weeks of turbulence, we agreed it was not a good idea for either of us, to continue our friendship.

2018 ended with my self-concept and equilibrium in balance. The Red Cross was calling on me more often, I was involved in Slow Food Prescott and was becoming a regular volunteer at Prescott Farmers Market. I was almost out of harm’s way.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 13

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 3, 2026- Hana’s new idea was to see if she could climb out of the playpen. I assured her that there were no footholds high enough for such s feat, and that if there were, one of us would not permit our little daredevil to get herself hurt. When I asked her if she wanted to walk a bit, her response was “Umm, no.”, and she was content for a bit to just stand at the window sill and look out on the front yard. She changed her mind after a few minutes and I helped her walk to her Mom’s office, where she called out to a delighted Yunhee.

She has been telling us little stories, all day. Most of them seem to be about her Little Critter books. She pointed to three of them sitting on the table near our recliner, and listened contentedly, as I read each of them to her. When she went back into the playpen, her “5-Minute Little Critter Stories” anthology had to go in there with her, and she sat with it for several minutes. just touching the cover and looking at a few pages inside.

HANA’S NOTE- I wish I could climb up something. I want to be able to do something that’s a little bit hard.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2017 Three years ago, I told people at Mont St. Michel that i hoped to return to that area, this year. That did not happen. I invested a small amount of money in a community development effort in Africa, having remembered how young men from Togo and Benin were having to go to France, in order to look for meaningful work. The organizers of that project, though, were full of excuses and kept moving the goal posts for its completion. They did not accept any of my ideas and asked for more and more funds. I cut them off, after two months of back and forth. It was smelling very much like a scam.

I was doing okay, though, working with Special Needs students, full time. I finished with the ED class in May and transferred into working with Autistic students at Prescott High School, in the Fall. I felt very much drawn to them, being on the spectrum myself.

Adventure across the Southwest, and across the continent, continued. I enjoyed hiking in Spur Cross Ranch, Cave Creek; Boyce Thompson Arboretum State Park, in Superior, an interesting town,where I befriended a nice group of people who were operating Sun Flour Cafe and Boutique; and Gila Cliff Dwellings National Monument, near Silver City, NM. Summer travels took me to Massachusetts and to southern Maine, where I helped celebrate one of my paternal aunt’s 84th birthday. I enjoyed walking along the shoreline, in York, ME; visiting Green Acre Baha’i school, in Eliot and as always, spending time with Mom.

The cross country adventures included hikes in Brandywine, PA, Antietam, MD, Harpers Ferry and Charles Town, WV, the Falls of the Ohio, near Louisville and “The Hollow”, in Sedan, KS. A very moving and meaningful visit to the Museum of the American Revolution, in Philadelphia, with my brother, Dave was followed by a tour of the Museum for Art in Wood, one of the most unique features in the City of Brotherly Love. Xanga friends were welcoming in Oley, Mishawaka, Goshen(IN), Enid and Amarillo. I even took the time, after Antietam, to visit the home of Stonewall Jackson, in Lexington, VA-learning that one of the most infamous of Confederate officers had taken the trouble to surreptitiously teach his enslaved house servants to read the Bible. (That was against Virginia law at the time.)

I was gradually again becoming someone I actually liked. The year ahead would put that to the test.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 12

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 2, 2026- “Yeah, I got it.” Such was Hana’s response when I noted she had one of her favourite books. Mercer Mayer’s “Grandma, Grandpa and Me”, featuring his character, Little Critter. Sometimes, I think she is amused by how often we fawn over her activities. She may well already have a view of herself as an ordinary person, who hasn’t done anything special. To me, though, she will always be special-and worthy of praise.

I went for my thrice a year dental check-up, this morning, after running Aram back to the house, after he dropped his car off for service. I thought I would be late for the appointment, but in fact had the hour wrong, and so, was fifty minutes early. The teeth are in good shape, as are Hana’s-with the first stages of her top lateral incisors (canines) starting to poke through.

Hana is easy to please at our adult mealtimes. All she needs are bits of fruit on her high chair tray, as she has already had lunch and dinner, by the time we three sit down. She just wants to feel like she is a part of what’s happening.

HANA’S NOTE- I was happy today, because my Daddy worked from home and I got to have lunch with him. Papa brought some food from wherever he went this morning. It was all grownup food, though.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2016 My Altima died, in Newtown, CT, after taking me clear to my mother’s house in Massachusetts and getting an oil change at the shop I have used, when in Saugus. No one there noticed anything strange. Yet, when I pulled into a gas station in Newtown, intending to simply fill up and head south towards Pennsylvania, the car started smoking. A gallon of coolant did nothing, three strong men volunteered to help me push the Altima into a parking space and the car was towed to a junkyard. A taxi dropped me, and my bags, off at a motel in Bethel-10 miles away. Thanks to my middle brother, I scored a nice Hyundai Elantra, and after three days in Bethel, I bid farewell to the Altima, and was on my way south again.

This was not a year to go to Brazil, Argentina and Chile, as I once had planned. It was a good summer for visiting Fort Sumner, joining “Christmas in July” (at a cousin’s house in Missouri), taking in Independence Day in central Indiana, visiting Bushkill Falls (where my in-laws had honeymooned, back in 1948) and making the rounds in Amarillo, Enid, Wilmette, Mishawaka, Oley and at my family’s various residences. The Elantra took me safely down to Harrisonburg, VA, Atlanta, Spring Hill, FL and across the south, eventually stopping in Boulder and Longmont, CO, then back down to Arizona.

I helped my homeless friend find a safe place to live-and to feel wanted, possibly for the first time in his long life. I saw justice done to a grifter who had tried to bilk about a hundred of us, some out of their life savings. He paid as much back as he could, went to prison and the rest of us moved on.

In the Fall, I took on work in another classroom full of special needs children, led at first by a snarky former pre-school teacher, then by a more qualified Special Needs teacher, who appreciated my efforts. 2017 looked to be a bit more promising, with a reliable car, a stable job and good standing in the community, largely due to my volunteer efforts.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 11

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 1, 2026- Hana made an assisted walk from the recliner in the living room to the sofa in the family room-a distance of about 75 feet. We took three short breaks, of less than a minute, along the way. She decided when the breaks would happen and when the walk would resume. As she gets taller, it is easier on my back.

My granddaughter is also answering “Yeh”, when asked if she feels good about something. “No” will come soon enough, I suppose. She continues to be very chatty, especially with her mother. The other side is that she is starting to understand when Yunhee has to tend to other things, and Hana is getting better at playing by herself.

We noticed, this evening, that she is outgrowing her little bath tub. It will soon be time to use a larger vessel, that will have to be fit inside the master bath tub, rather than inside the kitchen sink. This growth spurt is amazing-and it won’t be the last.

HANA’S NOTE- I am starting to really understand Papa’s and Daddy’s language. They call it English. I can make sense of Mama’s language, just a little. She calls it Hangu’l-mar. Papa calls it Korean. Mostly, I just know how Mama feels, by how she talks.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2015 I have remained committed to visiting the places that Penny and I had listed, but had never gotten around to seeing. Some of that was done this year. I also drove across the South, to Florida, with the aim of helping to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday. After visiting a Xanga friend, in Lynn Haven, near Panama City, I headed towards The Villages, where the family lived. Outside Ocala, I got a call that said, essentially, the visit was off. Dementia does hard things to its victim and to the family. I headed back to Tallahassee and spent a day or so, taking in the capital, then went up to Sylacauga, AL and spent a few hours with another Xanga friend. (Xanga, for the uninitiated, was a blogsite, to which I belonged between 2008-11. I have visited several friends-particularly in Orange County, CA; Oklahoma,, Amarillo, Portland, Washington State, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and Oley, PA.)

My drive back gave me time to check out the five missions of the Alamo, and to take in the Trans-Pecos region, between Uvalde and El Paso. Marfa was a town that I found most interesting.

Back in Prescott, I had drawn the attention of a homeless man, who had not experienced such a kind life. I took him places that he needed to go and let him shower in the apartment, every so many days. He himself ran afoul of some rather rough people in town, and when they spotted him in my KIA Optima, there was retribution. On the Saturday before Easter, as I was driving back from a hike in the Payson area, my brakes snapped and I ended up in a ditch. The Optima was toast, and while I was assessed a Defensive Driving class, the attendant at the police impound yard noted that the brake lines had been cut. I left the matter to the police to investigate. I was physically okay, got adjusted by my chiropractor and went about getting another vehicle.

The Nissan Altima had significant issues with its transmission, after about three weeks. I got what seemed to be a fix, then bid my homeless friend adieu and headed north for few weeks. I got as far as Hawthorne, NV, had a hard time with the vehicle, and had visions of being in the town of one auto repair shop through Memorial Day weekend, until God knew when. I got one of those spirit messages that come every so often: “We’re going to get you to Reno.” The car started, and by the grace of God, through my late, beloved wife, her father, and most likely my own dear dad, I got to a Casino parking lot, in Sparks, and had the Altima towed the rest of the way to Reno. A good transmission shop had the car back in tip top shape, after a week. I had a nice visit with my friends in Reno and Carson City, in the meantime.

Then came Alaska. I drove through northern California, Oregon and Washington, leaving the Altima in a secure lot in Bellingham. The ferry took me to Wrangell, Juneau, Sitka and Ketchikan. I found magic in each of those places, and would gladly return, though so far it hasn’t been to be in the cards. On the way back, I went up to Vancouver for a day or so, then drove over to Anacortes, WA and hopped on another ferry, this one going to Sidney, BC, and from there to Victoria. It was National Aboriginal Day there, so I joined the festivities and took a tour led by a member of the Songhees First Nation. A huge amount of Aboriginal history was imparted that afternoon.

I observed Father’s Day in Monroe, WA, enjoying a fine Italian meal, and stayed in a nice little cabin by the river. The days ahead took me through eastern Washington, western Idaho, and back through Oregon’s “Outback”, another stop in Reno and back, safely, to Prescott.

The rest of the year was fairly peaceful. I covered a third grade class, in a charter school, for a few months and successfully taught the kids to sing “Winter Wonderland”, in choral style. Some of those children remained close to me, even until their graduation from high school, nine years later.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 10

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

August 31, 2026- Hana knows that her Papa is hurting a bit right now. My best friend in Prescott is dealing with a life-threatening disease. The person who did the work of ten people is now sidelined. It is a gut punch for me. I can only imagine what it must be like for her children and grandchildren.

My granddaughter has been trying to make me feel better, even as she has no knowledge of suffering, let alone the likelihood of death. I want to keep it that way, for as long as possible. So, we went on our stroller walk, this morning and I did a solo jaunt this evening, after dinner. Hana talked to me during our morning walk, looking happily at the trees and rocks around Russell Creek, and the solid bridge that pases over it.

That brings me to the other shockers- The flash floods that ravaged opposite parts of the world. Nepal and Tibet have been devastated by glacial breakage that led to multiple villages, on both sides of the border, being wiped off the face of the Earth. Thousands have been killed. There is likely more to come. At the bottom of the Grand Canyon, every bridge that crossed Bright Angel Creek was swept away by a torrent. 2 are dead and 15 people remain missing, Two tragedies, one almost unfathomable and one painfully symbolic.

HANA’S NOTE- I don’t know what dying means,but Papa looked sad when he talked with Daddy about his friend. I don’t want Papa to be sad.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2014 I wasn’t completely ready to travel overseas, but I went anyway. I promised my ailing father-in-law that I would travel to Normandy, for the 70th anniversary of D-Day and I did. He passed away, three weeks before that, and I did a boomerang journey to attend his funeral in New Jersey, return to Prescott for two weeks then go back to Newark, to catch a plane to Frankfurt-by way of Montreal and Ottawa. Four days in Paris preceded the D-Day events. I took in the Louvre, Versailles and Trocadero. I fended off some Roma “goldsmiths” and twice as many trinket vendors, most of them recent arrivals from French-speaking parts of Africa. A visit to Rouen brought me to the ruins of a church, where my ancestors had been baptized-right next to the spot where Joan of Arc had been burned at the stake. I spent some time in the dungeon where she had been held. Then came D-Day observances, of which I took in the daytime events and passed on a late night recreation of the landing.

Rennes, Mont St.Michel, Amiens, Lille, Bruges, Ghent, Brussels, Bastogne, Luxembourg and Frankfurt followed. Lastly, came Berga, where my father-in-law had been held as a prisoner-of-war, for the last six months of World War Ii. He was a Jew, and yet made it out alive, with American troops coming into the camp, right after the German troops had left. The area around the camp had a harrowing ambiance, still. Berga town, and nearby Jera, had the air of cities in recovery, having been part of the former East Germany, until 1989.

In October, I flew to Honolulu and met Aram and his ship, then took my place on what was billed a “Tiger Cruise”. Family members of crew joined the return to San Diego. I spent most of the time with Aram at his station and enjoyed the peacefulness of the open ocean. Whales and dolphins appeared alongside the ship, a few times.

I still had a way to go, in reaching stability, but I held my own on these long journeys. I also sold the house in Prescott, on behalf of my mother-in-law, sent her the proceeds, and moved into a one-bedroom apartment. The year ahead would be even more restorative.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 9

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 30, 2026- Hana mostly just wanted individual time with each of us, so we took turns in the Playpen and letting her nap in our arms. She is also more vocal and keeps eye contact, to make sure we understand what she wants.

She wore a skirt with panty, in the morning, then was switched to her first pair of jeans, in the afternoon. These made no difference to her, except during diaper changes. She is fairly adaptable, though, showing that her trust is very deep.

Mommy and Daddy took Hana with them, on a morning run to H-Mart. I went to a Baha’i devotional, then came back to a fine lunch of freshly made kim bap (sushi rolls). I recall, fondly, that this was my first Korean food, back in 1986. Yunhee does it very well.

HANA’S NOTE- I was so happy when Papa came back from the place he often goes on Sunday. He brought his prayer book, so it must have been a nice meeting.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2013 I was planning for my summer journey to be a spiritual quest of sorts: Grand Teton, Yellowstone, Spirit (“Devils”) Tower, Black Elk Peak, Pipestone, the Baha’i House of Worship (Wilmette),and my brother, Glenn’s Sail Blind race, off Newport, RI were on the itinerary. First, though, was a birthday party for my twin sisters-in-law, in Colorado. It would all have gone nicely, but I tripped up, emotionally and spiritually, allowing confusion to set in and sidetrack me,a fair amount That it caused problems for a devoted friend haunted me for a good long time.

The shattering of our Prescott community, just prior to my journey, also had an effect on my own equilibrium, and the fact that only two years had elapsed, since I lost Penny, didn’t help. Yet, on June 30, 19 wildland firefighters died in a firestorm, west of Prescott. There were several people displaced and I helped man a Red Cross shelter, for three days, until a larger crew arrived to lead the sheltering effort.

In the end, the journey had its sublime moments, I reached each of the places on my itinerary and began to make amends to said friend.

No sooner had I returned to Prescott, than I read an appeal from a single mother to help with moving. I answered that appeal, and made a friendship that has lasted to this day. Additionally, my friend introduced me to do Terra natural supplements, which I also use to this day. My gratitude to Melissa knows no bounds.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 8

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 29, 2026- Hana reveled in going to a Brunch establishment, Sunrise Cafe, in Allen, about five miles north of here. Though she already had her lunch, she was happy to sit in a high chair and tap on the table, looking around at the different people coming in and out, as well as at the large conduits hanging from the ceiling. We enjoyed our brunch items and I found my Tex-Mex omelet comparable to the ones I enjoyed at Zeke’s, in Prescott.

She also was intrigued later in the afternoon, when we were filling boxes with items for return. That activity had the side effect of my emptying two large boxes, so that they could be used for the returns. It thus made my common space upstairs a bit tidier. Hana likes to watch processes take place, especially when these are involving her mother.

HANA’S NOTE- I like going to different places now. I didn’t so much before I could sit in a high chair. It is fun to look around.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2012 I began to have a sense of equilibrium again, after eight years of feeling buffeted. I was again substitute teaching, this time in the three major districts of western Yavapai County: Prescott, Humboldt (Prescott Valley) and Chino Valley. I was more selective about which classes I would cover. Most of the time, the days went successfully. I also joined the American Legion, began volunteering with the American Red Cross and connected with a group called Slow Food.

I began to get out on the hiking trails of the Prescott area and other parts of northern Arizona, during the school year. One memorable event was the “Longest Day Challenge” (6/21), in which I hiked the Grand Canyon, from the South Rim to the Colorado River and back, using the Bright Angel Trail-which had water stations every 1-1.5 miles. Devil’s Corkscrew was the hottest and most challenging part. On the way back, I encountered a woman about my age telling the young Park Rangers that she would walk up and out of the Canyon as she saw fit. She was stumbling about and seemed disoriented, so some of us prevailed on her to follow the Rangers’ instructions. She got into the helicopter. The rest of the way, I hiked with three young Mexicans. The girls were a bit overwhelmed by how “difficult” it seemed, but we took it slowly and got back to the Rim around 9 p.m.

I branched out, traveling around the state of Texas, in May, then going to Massachusetts, by way of Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York. This became a yearly itinerary, thereafter. In September, we Baha’is commemorated the centenary of a visit by ‘Abdu’l-Baha to North America. I was planning to go with three ladies from the Prescott area, but one by one, they canceled. I drove instead to visit the Smiths, Baha’i friends who lived in Reno, and the three of us went to San Francisco and Oakland, where events were held throughout the weekend. I then drove along the Coast, through northern California, Oregon and Washington, re-visiting Portland and seeing Seattle for the first time. When a fire threatened Wenatchee, in central Washington, I went there, rather than stay in Seattle, and joined several Baha’is in prayer for protection. I went back to Reno for a bit, then drove to Salt Lake City and Glenwood Springs, CO, for other commemorative events.

Southern California also became a focus, as Aram was stationed in San Diego and a friend in Orange County was one of my regular correspondents, so I got to enjoy quality seafood and take in a lovely beach town, each time I visited.

I will be focusing more on each of the states, provinces and countries I’ve visited, after this series on Years in Remembrance is finished.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 7

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 28, 2026- “Let’s go.” With that remark, Hana stood at the gate to her playpen, and was ready for me to help her take some steps. She is not shy about asking for help, or,as was the case today, telling me she wants assistance. I carefully opened the gate and we took about a dozen steps, almost making it to her mother’s office. She stopped at the small rise between her play pit and the front door. After thinking for a few minutes, she took the step up and made it along the wooden floor as far as her father’s pair of sneakers. Her mother came out of the office and Hana decided she’d done enough step-taking for the morning.

The three of us went shopping at Costco, as Aram was at work. When Yunhee said she was going into the fruit cooler, to get blueberries, Hana excitedly said “Yum!” She can’t get enough of them. The four of us do go through blueberries rather quickly.

She was exhausted by day’s end, not letting herself sleep, even when put down for a nap. She had to keep practicing standing and scooting, much of the afternoon. After her bath, she was in bed by 6:45, and out like a light.

HANA’S NOTE- I am glad that Papa understands me, when I say some words in his language. I am understanding his language, and my Mama’s, more and more.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2011 Aram made the call, while I was at work, in the last few days of February. Penny’s visiting doctor and home nurse had both come down with the flu and were unable to fulfill their visits. She needed care, regardless, so back to the Hospice she went. We spent most of our time there, the next several days. Penny began to throw out the artwork that visiting children had left, and she was asleep most of the time, anyway. My wife of twenty nine years became unresponsive in the evening of March 3. She remained in laboured breathing, the next day. as there was no available room for me to stay that night, Aram and I went home.

The next morning, I awoke to a heavy presence that filled our bedroom. I knew Penny was saying goodbye. Getting up and readying for the day, I took a call from the Hospice, just after 6 a.m. We had to go there quickly. When Aram and I arrived at the Hospice, the air was still, but there was a light spiral of dust and leaves going upward, near the front door. We went inside, where the nurse said she had just checked on Penny and she was lying calmly, in shallow breath. That breath had stopped, however, at 6:03, and her still warm body was lifeless, as I held her hand. We summoned the doctor, called a friend who was a mortician, and spent about thirty minutes saying our own goodbyes. We then had to drive to Prescott, and sat with Penny’s parents, in this time that no parent should have to endure.

The following Tuesday, I wrapped my beloved’s body in silk, carefully following the directions I was getting from her spirit. It was a dignified ending, to a horrific eight years of physical and mental decline. It had witnessed me grappling with every bit of self-loathing, while I kept going because Penny needed me, our son needed me and, I needed myself to get a grip and somehow pull through.

Family came, we gave her a loving funeral and then, I was alone, save for our son. I went back to work at Dysart and Glendale Union, the following Monday. Outside of work, though, I was a shell of a person, for two months. In May, Aram and I drove east, to my third niece’s wedding, in New Hampshire, one for which Penny and I had prayed for most of our last year together. It was an event that I needed to attend, even if some of the family thought it was too soon for me to be out. It was a beautiful affair.

Summer came soon after. Aram entered the Navy. I moved my belongings to Prescott, leaving behind our home of eight years. Then I drove east, again, spending a week at Louhelen Baha’i School, slowly pulling myself together. Visits with family in Georgia, New Jersey and Massachusetts were alternately hard and comforting, but I’m glad to have made them. When I went back to Prescott, it felt like I was settling into a haven of peace. Gradually, I would shed the cloak of self-loathing and earn the respect of all but one or two of my family members. I would also feel like I had found community, at long last.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 6

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 27,2026- My granddaughter has started joking around, in her way, telling me a fair amount of babbling, then giggling. I then get a hug around the neck. She will also shout :”Hey”, from the playpen, to see who answers. She has been sleeping more soundly at night, though she gets up at 5 a.m., probably a bit too soon for her parents. Sometimes, Hana will see that they are sleeping, and lie back down, herself.

Hana is also getting more confident in her standing. She is listening better to her parents and making an effort to not try to stand up, when in the dining high chair. That was starting to make us more than a little nervous. She loves our early morning walks in the stroller, occasionally singing little tunes, as we go along.

HANA’S NOTE- Is something happening in the sky? It seems like some people are acting strange. I’m glad my grownups are not.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2010 Penny began sleeping more, in February. I kept watch on her, but when she was awake, she seemed lucid. I taught a class at the same Community College where Penny had studied in 2000. It went so/so. My teaching was not altogether focused and a rather pedantic delivery, much of the time, didn’t help. I substituted in the two districts, on days when I wasn’t in class. My son and a couple of young people who were living with us helped tend to Penny, while I was putting food on the table and keeping the utilities on.

Our finances had collapsed, though, and we faced foreclosure. An arrangement was worked out, where we were able to short sell the home, and the investor who bought it let us live there, for as long as Penny was able to stay with us. I did what I could to renovate: Painting the exterior, replacing the carpet and painting the major rooms.

By June, Penny needed surgery on her back and was officially diagnosed with Polyglucosan Body Disease. Following the fairly successful surgery, though, she needed to be in rehabilitation, in a specialty hospital. She was treated fairly well there, and had the serendipity of her breathing therapist being a young lady who we knew as a baby in Tuba City, nearly twenty five years earlier. The girl only made the connection when she told her mother, also a nurse, about her work with Penny, and her mother remembered us.

We continued with my working, Penny remaining in the specialty hospital and Aram going through his semester at a community college, until November, when the insurance ran out. Penny was then deemed ready for hybrid hospice care, Some alternatives were presented, which both Penny and I considered unseemly. We arranged for her to be treated by a visiting hospice doctor and nurse.

I was about to turn 60, a milestone that was important to my siblings, as our dad had not made it that far. Aram and I celebrated on my actual birthday, 11/28, with three of the boarders, enjoying pizza. My two brothers and a sister-in-law came to Phoenix in early December, and joined the three of us at Durant’s Restaurant, a top Phoenix steakhouse. It would be Penny’s last restaurant meal. We also took in the APS Parade of Lights, a nice touch that was one of my wife’s last enjoyable outings. I took her to the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, for a couple of days, as well.

When we “rang in the New”, ten of us saw 2011 arrive. My beloved wife slept through it, and we would have only two more months together.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 5

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 26,2026- Hana was able to stand upright, without support, for four seconds. She is also able to scoot, along the bars of the playpen, for about five steps at a time, and is able to transition from one section of the bars to its perpendicular neighbour.. She is on a rather systematic mission to master all the prerequisites of walking.

My grandchild has associated my being with her, with her parents’ absence. So, she was trying to figure out why I still rock her to sleep for her afternoon nap, when she knows her mother is in the house. I explained that “Mommy needs a nap, herself.” She then relaxed and went to sleep on my shoulder, seeming to understand that it would be hard for either of them to sleep, as Hana likes to play with Yunhee, when they are in the playpen or on the bed,

Hana has her grandmother’s single-mindedness, and will surely master anything to which she sets her mind. The rub is that she will need to learn when to defer her mission, so that things her parents need her to do can take precedence. This will later transfer to her school life. The willfulness can work, once that balance is reached.

HANA’S NOTE- I like to have just a small snack, like bits of fruit or cucumber, when my grownups eat their big meals. I have my meals earlier, but I still want to sit with them and be part of things.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2009 I was starting to get overwhelmed by trying to hold down a job, at the same time as the long hours needed to care for Penny, as she became increasingly unstable. She could no longer drive. That came to an end in 2007, when she admitted to being scared to even try driving in an empty parking lot. She could manage her motorized scooter, but wanted me to be with her, when she was anywhere other than the ASU West campus.

I left WIS, in March, and went to work for a mental health agency, whose motto was “New Ways of Thinking”. Those turned out to be “The boss is always right” and “We are here to serve the insurance industry.” In fairness, I was running on fumes a good part of the time I was serving clients, and even more so when sitting in training sessions or in meetings. I was let go, at the end of the 3-month probation period, but was not replaced. A co-worker I met by chance, afterward, told me they were trying to cut costs-and that was the real reason I was terminated.

I attended Penny’s graduation from ASU West, a few weeks later. There, we met Nancy Pelosi, the singer Alice Cooper and President Barack Obama, who gave the graduation address. Penny had opted out of attending all her other graduation ceremonies, over the years. The meaning of this one made up for all those.

We made one last road trip across the country, to attend my second eldest nephew’s wedding, in New Jersey. As it was, by chance, not far from the Fellmans’ house, we stayed there, though Penny’s parents were in Arizona. Her younger sister was there, though. The wedding was lovely, but the trip had a finality to it, that I could not completely grasp. One silver lining was that all the work we had done, the past six years, to get access to restrooms for disabled people and their opposite sex caregivers, was starting to pay off. In four states along the way, we found facilities that had “family” restrooms-one seaters that could be locked from the inside. Other times, we still had to prevail on kind souls to stand guard outside, while we tended to nature’s call.

Lady, our family dog for the past fourteen years, passed away in September. She was 17 and had severe arthritis, unable to move without screaming in pain. It almost felt like she was going on, to prepare a place for Penny-but we were far from ready to give up the fight. I went back to substitute teaching and she busied herself with looking for positions in Technology Education.