The Fable of the Carrots

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, Fiction, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 13, 2026- I read this to Hana this afternoon. “Once there was a rabbit who had gathered so many carrots, that he had no room in his house. He went about, asking his friends for a place to sleep.” Long story short, he crowded a turtle, a bird and a beaver out of their homes, as he brought many of his carrots along with him. Eventually, he brought his friends with him back to his house, and shared the carrots with them.

She will hear this story again and again, as her parents and I teach her about the importance of not hoarding, and of sharing. She sees us sharing, constantly, so it will not come as a surprise to her that this is expected.

I thought, after the activity, of the dynamics of hoarding; of how it reflects the insecurity of the person amassing, whether it is of money, land, or physical items. The rabbit in the story had so many carrots with him that the branch, on which the bird’s nest sat, broke and the beaver’s house became top-heavy from the overload, and fell into the river. Is the excess of wealth that we see among the oligarchs not the same?

To a certain extent, no one can assess for another, as to how much the other person needs, but billions of dollars are like the carrots in the fable: Both an unwieldy burden and a nuisance to those around the owner. The rabbit ends up deciding to share his excess, to make it up to his friends. Some billionaires have made similar decisions; others give a fair amount of money away to charity, each year, and share with loved ones. The hoarders, though, are going to be faced, sooner or later, with the sky high pile that poses more problems than it relieves.

I am waiting to see who will end up in which group-sharer, or hoarder?

The Totoro Wallpaper

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Entertainment, Family, Fiction, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social

May 12, 2026- Hana’s mother has been very busy, these past two days, receiving and arranging two boxes of books, and carefully putting a mural of the Japanese character Totoro and his friends on the wall of Hana’s play area. My curious granddaughter now has friendly faces upon which to gaze, when she looks upon the wall, while resting from all the crawling she’s been doing.

Above, are Totoro (bottom) and his two rabbit friends, who are called “Smaller Totoros”.

I am getting a quick education on popular Japanese cartoon characters. Others, who have their own plush toys, include Pompomporin, a dog who likes caramel pudding; Hello Kitty; My Melody ( a rabbit); Kerokerokeroppi ( a frog) and My Sweet Piano (a sheep), These are Sanrio characters. There are also many Pokemon plush toys, including the ubiquitous Pikachu, who is, of course, a pika. With these characters, and more, Hana will be able to let her imagination run wild. I look forward to her weaving stories, in her toddler and middle childhood years.

All this is actually a balm for me as well. Paying attention to the goings on outside these four walls, I almost think the anime world is saner. I know that all that is going wrong will fall away, in time, yet I want to keep my granddaughter’s world as innocent as possible, while her character forms.

By Example

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 11, 2026- Some of what I have modeled for Hana has been physical-even crawling on my hands and knees, a little, so she can see what is involved, and reading words from left to right, pointing,as she follows each word, I also explain what I;m doing, step by step, no matter how simple the task.

She maintains focus, quite a bit more than one might expect a 4.5-month-old infant to keep attention. It seems to be a matter of storing information, either for use in a week or two, as with crawling or the sequence of letters, to recall and use as a toddler.

Funny thing about example: One never knows when little eyes and ears are picking up on what is being said or done. I had given up cursing long before Aram was born, as I just didn’t see any use for such talk, when other words met my needs just as well. He was quite assertive, in calling out what he thought was behaviour that was not in sync with words, especially in middle childhood.

I have a feeling that Hana will do the same. She already communicates quite well, with body language, eye contact and babbles that are fairly comprehensible as words. There is even a fair amount of intonation that give a sense of what she wants to convey.

Example is just the least one can do, to build character in those for whom one is responsible. It is crucial in child rearing-and just as much so, in positions of public responsibility. I had a high bar to maintain, and did, as a teacher, counselor and building principal-and even as a substitute teacher, in my last years of work. I didn’t always meet the expectations of the higher echelon or of the governing boards, but my standing with all but a few students, co-workers and parents was constantly stable.

Elected officials, likewise, would do a whole lot better to adhere to the highest standard of conduct. It’s been a while since that bar has been met, by all too many in public office. This has nothing to do with ideology. As we have seen, there are honest, trustworthy conservatives and progressives alike and there are the opposite, among both camps.

Bringing oneself to account each day seems to be the most effective counter to backsliding and it pays dividends, in terms of how one’s example is followed.

The Beauty of the Lilies

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 10, 2026- There was a plenitude of delicious, healthful food at DiMatte’s Mediterranean Buffet, as we celebrate Yunhee’s first Mother’s Day. Hana is still a bit unready for solid food, but she was happy about us going to a large, clean and relatively quiet eatery. She likes people, but doesn’t like excessive noise or heat, which unfortunately are features of many food courts. Besides, this is the first of two special days honouring her parents. Today, and Father’s Day, next month, are on me.

Hana’s understanding of such things is, of course not certain, but probably limited to knowing that her father and I made a fuss over her mother-so she was even more affectionate than usual, towards Yunhee. It was a fine, if low key day, and my daughter-in-law got to do what she likes best, tidying up the common rooms downstairs, and making a nicer play area for her little girl.

In November, 1861, Julia Ward Howe wrote “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”, to the tune of “John Brown’s Body”, as a means of lifting the spirits of those fighting for the Union cause in the American Civil War. After that conflict had ended, she was first impelled to organize the national observance of Mother’s Day, in 1867, Following the calamitous Franco-Prussian War, in 1870-71, Ms. Ward-Howe called for an international observance of Mother’s Day, in the hopes of generating a global movement of women for peace. The opening lines of the fifth verse of the anthem are intended to sanctify the giving of lives: “In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me.
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,[16]
While God is marching on.” It seldom has worked out that way.

Mothers have never, in their hearts of hearts, desired to see their children slaughtered for the sake of someone else’s agenda. Patriotism mitigates the expression of anti-war sentiments, when it is understood that liberty is threatened by an aggressive enemy, but I recall my mother’s grief when I told her I was headed to Viet Nam, in 1971. I told her at the last minute, as she and my father were saying goodbye at the airport. In the ten months I was there, I handled accountable mail and helped unload bulk mail trucks, but I never faced any real danger from the Viet Cong. There were too many, including two childhood friends, who were not so lucky.

As I write this, the cover page on my laptop shows a setting Sun, still casting an amber glow in the surrounding sky and on the ocean below. I get an odd comfort from this, and feel the strength and love of my mother, my late wife and all my female friends and relatives who have passed on I feel the ongoing love of those nurturing women who are still very much alive-and who tend to the children, animals and the sick who are in their care,

In whatever capacity you nurture, I hope your Mother’s Day has brought honour and solace.

Hands and Knees

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 9, 2026- Hana used her knees to move herself forward to day. She crawled forward without anyone serving as a backstop for her feet. This has been something she’s wanted to do for at least three weeks, and today, the connection clicked. She is not a quitter, and I told her I was proud of her.

Seeing the little girl keep at something, until it happened, brought me back to her father learning to ride a bicycle and, a few months later, how to swim. He was five. The earlier milestones he met all happened when I was at work: His first crawl, his first steps and his first unmimicked words. I will be around for Hana’s little victories.

Many times in life, both individually and as a community, setbacks are faced. I don’t know the cosmic reason for this. Maybe it is a matter of needing to revisit a situation and deepen one’s skill sets. Perhaps someone else involved in a process needs the same, and you are just along for the ride.Maybe those opposed to forward progress need to revisit the situation, in a position of power, and be shown, one more time, why their backward focus doesn’t work.

Regardless, getting through the situation, with the equivalent of the hands and knees working in synchronicity, is always essential. Whether the cooperation involves two people or a thousand, commitment, consultation and mutual understanding are the keys. Whether it entails the use of hand tools, power tools or electronics, making sure the devices are appropriate to the job, are in good working order, and that the instructions for their use and care are read, understood and followed, is imperative.

Every task comes back to the hands and knees.

False Equivalence

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 8, 2026- I read a post, this evening, in which a grown woman complains that a 6-year-old, who has been diagnosed with autism, “conveniently” reins in her tantrums-when there are no flashing lights and sudden noises. My, my!

I am mildly autistic. Much of my more “inconvenient” behaviour has fallen away, over the past few decades. It’s been a while, since I was six year old -or thirteen-or twenty-five. Learning which foods aggravate my neural functioning, and avoiding them, has helped. Meditation and daily prayer also help focus my energies. Maturation, though, has been largely responsible, for changes in my behaviour.

I will say, though, that we still have a society which is poor at recognizing developmental differences between young children, adolescents, young adults and people of “middle age”. I spoke yesterday about magical thinking. People like the complainer in the above-mentioned post tend to indulge in wishful thinking. Too lazy, rigid or ignorant to recognize and accept differences in people, they stage public shaming rituals and look under rocks for reasons to excoriate those with disabilities.

While I, out of common courtesy, have made a concerted effort to evolve my own behaviours in a positive direction, If I encounter a confrontation between a neurodivergent child and an adult, other than a parent*, who is passing judgement, I will stand up for the child. There are ways to calm and refocus an autistic or other neurodivergent person. Confrontation and “tough love” are certainly not among them.

Beside, saying that a 6-year-old should be held to the same standard as an adult is false equivalence and says more about the unmet needs of the complainer than it does about the child.

  • Parents of neurodivergent children are most often supportive of their child and seek non-escaltatory solutions to situations that arise, involving their child.

Magical Thinking

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Fiction, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 7, 2026- Hana pushes herself to reach certain places on her crawling mat, but was showing a bit of frustration at being limited to the same route, day after day. It was time for another segment, so down went the multi-modal quilt, with its alphabet, colour bar, shapes and illustrations of animals and objects. This doubled the area that she has to navigate, and she took to it right away.

My granddaughter had been acting as if she should be able to go through walls or pieces of furniture, getting frustrated at this also, so Papa has the task of gently encouraging her to turn, when confronted with a barrier. I even showed her that my almighty self can’t go through a wall, which she found amusing, while getting the point.

Many of the old stories I am reading her now, European fairy tales, present magical solutions to harrowing scenes. I choose to focus more on the character-building elements that are embedded in the tales, rather than the amazing feats of derring do. It only touches a slight level of her consciousness, of course, but I can recall, from my own toddlerhood, having a sense that I had heard stories that pointed the way to correctness, even earlier in my life. So, we go down this path together, She will retain what sticks in her mind and re-learn the rest later.

Much magical thinking comes from being used to having certain things happen almost instantaneously- like fast food being prepared and served in minutes, or AI popping up with answers to questions, in mere seconds. Another friend, examining the matter, points out that experiencing something, even several times, does not mean that it will be integrated with one’s psyche or behavioural repertoire. “I spent a week in Sweden” hardly qualifies me to claim any more than cursory knowledge of the country and its people. “I changed the spark plugs in my Ford LTD, back in 1975”, does not make me anywhere near a skilled auto mechanic. It is integration, not encountering, that determines the level of any change one wishes to see in life.

There is also a larger process at work, sometimes called “the arc of history” and in other forums, “the Major Plan of God”. We on the ground can only understand a smidgen of it, but here’s the thing: Just as a motor vehicle can go either forward or in reverse, it moves most efficiently forward. Reverse is meant only for short distances, like backing out of a parking space, or going a few yards back to where a loved one is waiting to communicate a last-minute thought. Going backwards in society can only be temporary, mostly to correct errors made in moving ahead too quickly. It cannot be done with a view towards reinstating the “Golden Days of Yesteryear”.

I will have more to say about this in an upcoming post.

Further Direction

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Posted by on in children, Community, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 6, 2026- Hana did three new things today: She crawled onto a clean sheet that I had spread out, specifically for the purpose of giving her more of a mobility path. She sat up, with minimal assistance, and she stood up, long enough to look out the window. Small bits of further direction arose, as she moves through her fifth month on this Earth.

Most of the changes a person undergoes are small, subtle. I have shed behaviours that annoyed me and those around me, almost without thought and over time. Likewise, my skill sets have increased, with practice in some areas, yes, but also over time and with little notice. I see those around me also going through skill set build-ups that, to them also may seem imperceptible.

Another blogger recently pointed out that institutions and communities can change, one directive, one new form, one small procedural adjustment at a time. This could be the work of would-be authoritarians, of those seeking to expand the numbers of people taking part in the civic process or just those honestly looking to streamline meetings or daily procedures. Further direction can simplify the work of an organization or it can stymie that work. Quite often, these changes are not noticed until they have accumulated and become a noticeable roadblock or until they inconvenience a critical mass of people.

In any event, it is always a good idea to take stock of changes and adjustments in one’s life, on a daily basis. Nothing is really too small to be of no consequence.

Domino Effect

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

May 5, 2026- My granddaughter had a fairly good day, considering that both of her parents had to work at their sites and got home a bit later than usual. Hana is only 4,5 months old, but she puts two and two together pretty well. When she sat and watched me preparing dinner for the family, which has only happened one other time,and no one got home before the meal was ready and put on low heat, she got agitated and wept disconsolately.. Her father got home about ten minutes later and held her for a while. She recovered and was happy again, even more so, once her mother also got back.

It’s hard to know what goes on, in the mind of a pre-verbal child, but body language can give one a fairly strong clue. She enjoys being with me, AND needs her parents. She sleeps through the night, knowing that they are in the room with her, and is most relaxed when one of them is working from home. That will change in June, with both of them having to go back to the office, five days a week. By then, she will have had a bit more time to have it explained to her enough to make an impression. Plus, she and I will be able to take outings in the stroller, with a city park a ten-minute walk. Hana will thrive, given the strength of her bonds with the three of us.

This all brought to mind the thousands of children, from infants to teens, whose family bonds are tenuous, at best. Organizations like Save the Children and Children International have been able to step in and offer educational, recreational and mentoring programs, in various nations across the globe. Another such organization is New Era Children’s Foundation, headquartered in Phoenix, AZ, and with programs locally there, as well as in East Africa and South Asia https://necf.asia/north-america/

Both involvement and neglect have domino effects. People who are abused and neglected in childhood will pay that abuse and neglect forward. Several people who were interviewed in a recent podcast were unequivocal about being perfectly willing to beat, and even kill, children of an ethnic minority in their country. When pressed further, they each said that abuse and neglect had been the dominant features of their own childhood. On the other hand, those who experience a stable upbringing are more likely to treat children well, even taking on the roles of mentor and protector. What comes around, stays around.

In my case, forty-six years of working with children, who were in various degrees of social stability, have left me that much more determined to see a highly intelligent and sensitive child build a solid life for herself. She has grounded, stable parents, so the odds are good.

Limits of Responsibility

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Posted by on in children, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 4, 2026- I watched a video, this evening, in which several grown men and women openly advocated the killing of children who belong to an ethnic group with whom these “adults” are at odds. Their rationale was either, “They’ll just grow up to oppress us” or “Nobody protected me, when I was a child.” I felt nauseated, just as I was sickened by all the venom expressed when Black children were being killed in the 1960s and again in this decade; when Hispanic children have been rounded up, regardless of citizenship status, in the last ten years.

Know who slaughters their young? Scorpions. We humans pride ourselves on the safeguarding of children. By and large, we do a credible job of seeing our young through to adulthood. A growing awareness of, and willingness to confront, pedophile networks and individuals, will gradually bring those twisted criminals to justice-regardless of their social rank. The mindless attacks on children, in areas where civil conflict is being stoked by their countries’ leaders, needs to be called out, openly and without regard for grievances between adults. Children are not responsible, ever, for the differences between those old enough to face the consequences of their actions. Nor are today’s children responsible for what happened in the 1960s or 1970s to those who make them the targets of revenge.

I know, now and as long as I am of sound mind and body, that my grandchild(ren), extended family and any friends who may be with them will not be harmed by any adult (or adolescent, for that matter) without consequence to the perpetrator. Adults are responsible for children, not the other way around. It is time those who don’t understand this, learn it-and internalize it.