International Women’s Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 8, 2026- I had the best of intentions, ordering a lox and tomato bagel for my daughter-in-law , for International Women’s Day, especially as it was part of the local bagel shop’s fundraiser for prevention of violence against women and girls. Saved By The Bagel is a take-off on a popular 1980s sitcom, “Saved by the Bell”. Yunhee is on a dairy-free diet, for Hana’s sake, until mid-April. I forgot that bagel shops almost always add a shmear (cream cheese), so when I got the sandwich home, she contented herself with the tomato, onion and lettuce on the part of the bagel that had no shmear. She said she also doesn’t eat lox. It meant more to her that I honestly loved the beef stew she had made, three days ago. I had four bowls of it, two on the night it was made. I also spent the afternoon with Hana, so that Yunhee could have a few hours to go shopping for items she wanted, or the house needed.

One of those items was an electric chainsaw. She got a deal on it, and proudly presented it to me, knowing that I wanted to tend to the bough that was 80% severed from the oak tree in the front yard. I got the chain on the wand, but had to consult my neighbour on the corner, as to the finer points of tightening the chain. This led to his coming down to the yard and essentially cutting the bough and its branches, as the saw is one of his favourite tools. His son-in-law was along, to help me keep the ground around him free on fallen branches. There is nothing more dangerous than someone who gets carried away with a power tool. We three managed to get the job done in less than an hour. I offered them the better pieces of cut wood, but they declined. I got in my exercise by moving the debris to the back, by the alley, where I will cut the longer branches down to smaller units tomorrow.

That part had nothing to do with IWD, other than getting the men out of the house. International Women’s Day is never about men giving things. It is more about women empowering themselves. The notion that female humans are inherently worthwhile, and don’t need men to complete them, is oddly enough, only fairly recently a widespread concept. There have always been women who have stood on their own two feet, for life. Some have married; others just forged their own successful paths. Some have raised children; others found fostering animals more fulfilling; still others found the nurturing of ideas and creating products more to their liking.

On this International Women’s Day, I recall the lives of my grandmothers, who raised twenty children, between them; of my mother, who raised five of us and was the glue for her extended family; of my sister, who remains a matriarchal figure for her children and grandchildren; of my late wife, who earned three Master’s Degrees, the last while in declining health. There are women whose memorials I have visited: Civil Rights icons-Coretta Scott King, Fannie Lou Hamer, Nina Simone; Holocaust victim Hana Reiner, and astrophysicist Eleanor “Glo” Helin, whose asteroid research is celebrated at her place of work, Palomar Mountain. There are the women friends who work wonders, every single day, in fields from astrology to auto mechanics to home renovation.

Mostly, though, I look ahead, to all that my daughter-in-law has left to achieve and to all that my granddaughter can choose. My grandnieces, likewise, have an infinite realm of possibilities in front of them, because of the work that their mothers and grandmothers have put into having their strengths, ideas and dreams recognized and appreciated.

We’re all better off because of what women have done.

Small Havoc

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 7, 2026- A heavy rain fell, and there was a fair amount of thunder and lightning, into the mid-morning hours. A branch of one of our trees is partially severed from the main trunk and is now partially covering our front sidewalk. That gives me something to work on tomorrow, when the weather is expected to be nicer. My goal is to at least clear the sidewalk. Working from the outermost edge towards the thick part of the branch, I should be able to get a fair amount of the debris cleared and hauled back to the alley. The larger part of the branch will take a bit longer to clear. Son won’t be back for another two weeks, so I will carefully get what I can done rather than leaving it all for him.

There was a warning of possible tornadoes last night, but none materialized this far south. Our safe zone is a windowless bathroom on the first floor. Strangely, there is no community shelter, but there are plenty of “tornado shelter companies” willing to sell shelters to individual families. I guess the idea that this is an individual endeavour strikes me as odd. The only times that I have been near a tornado, in Missouri and in Ohio, there was an active effort at getting people together in community shelters. Fortunately, we were spared, this time. My condolences to those people in eastern Oklahoma and southeast Michigan who were not so fortunate.

Every part of the world has its drawbacks, either in terms of natural phenomena or of being in the crosshairs of some conflict. There are always innocent victims, in any event. My job now is making sure that my granddaughter isn’t one of them. Not everyone thinks I have her best interests at heart. I guess they will just have to find out. Suffice it to say that no one will hurt her, as long as I am of sound mind and body.

First Laugh

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 6, 2026- Hana laughed just before her mother and I had lunch, this noon. It marked the first time either of us had witnessed her chuckling. She is very happy, when we bring her to the bouncy chair at our mealtimes. The sense of being included has already been integrated in her 2 1/2 month old mind. It is a tradition of sorts- Penny and I always had Aram with us at breakfast and dinner. (I didn’t always get back for lunch, but when I did, he was with us then, also.) I initiated having her at table for dinner, and her parents were quick to affirm.

She chuckled periodically, throughout the day-and as I fed her a nightcap bottle, she was thinking about something funny and let the amusement process, laughing quietly before starting to take her nourishment. As the days roll by and she has more experiences in her memory, I fully expect she will find something to joyfully recall. When she develops language, I’m sure she will share them with us.

Dineh people have a tradition, where the first person to make a baby laugh gets to throw a laughing party for the family. I did so once, for a little boy who is now 39 years of age. In Korean tradition, a baby is honoured on the 100th day after birth. Aram, as we were living in Jeju, Korea in the days of his babyhood, was given a 100 Day Party and wore a hanbok, the garb of a baby on the hundredth day. He was also given a tiny ring, which we probably still have in the jewelry box.

Hana will have a hundredth day party. We will also honour her laughter, as well as any other milestones she passes before then. She is likely to have several things to “say” about this. Her cooing and babbling are quite frequent now. We engage her in conversation, to encourage these.

Fifteen Years

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Family, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 5, 2026- It was a mild, crisp Saturday morning, when I got the call that I had been expecting, since having woken to a heavy presence in the bedroom that Penny and I had shared for nearly twenty-nine years. I was told that I didn’t have long to get to the Hospice, if I wanted to “exercise the option” of being with her when she passed. I had not taken the spare room that the Hospice provided to those who were expecting a loved one’s imminent passing. because we lived thirty minutes away and a gentleman from Nashville was present, waiting for his mother’s demise.-

This was a case of trusting the Universe to arrange everything nicely. As it happened, the entrance ramp that would have gotten Aram and me there on time, was blocked. The detour added an extra ten minutes to our drive and we arrived, on a still morning, to be greeted by a slow spiral of leaves and dust, swirling near the door. Three minutes had gone by since Penny’s departure, so quiet that the nurse, who had checked her ten minutes earlier, was taken aback. Still warm to the touch, eyes still open, I know that my beloved would have preferred to wait, but it was not to be.

My task, in the years that have gone by, has been to make a concerted effort to live a far better life. It took a few more years, after that day, to vanquish my demons and accomplish most of what we had planned to do together. Here I sit in a comfortable open office, in our family’s home, looking at our infant granddaughter, via a monitor. She is asleep in her crib, with plenty of room, on a soft but firm pad. Helping to raise her will be my lasting gift to the wife who sacrificed everything to help me turn my life around.

It’s been a long process, but I really think I’m there, at long last.

The Last Income Tax

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 4, 2026- I filed my 2025 Tax Returns this evening. Both Federal and Arizona (for the last time) income tax information was reported. At the end, I realized that I am truly retired. I may not have any income to report, come next February or March. My responsibilities have shifted to family (my grandchild) and occasional community service, until such time as said granddaughter (and any sibling she might have) has reached school age.

As my chiropractor reminds me, this does not reflect on my remaining longevity. If anything, the need of the child(ren) to have a healthy, clear-headed grandparent nearby is a mandate to keep on with my diet and exercise regimen. An active lifestyle is taking time to re-build here, and is a bit different in an urban, prairie environment, as opposed to the high desert and mountains of central Arizona. It will happen, though.

I have to thank Arizona’s schools for all the day-to-day skills that will come in handy, in any support role that I have in Hana’s education. It has actually already started, with portions of each day devoted to building her physical and sensory skills. She likes to practice standing, and can hold her head up fro about a minute, while on her belly. I realize this is a bit ahead of most people’s developmental schedules. Hana is not most people, though, and is already propelling herself towards objects that catch her interest. Here parents and I will not push her to do more than she is already inclined to do.

I don’t think we’ll have to.

Proactive

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 3, 2026- There was a time when I procrastinated, and sloppily put things together at the last minute. I was in eighth grade. and found myself getting further behind, even failing in the “New Math”, which was en vogue at the time. I got myself together, just a bit, and managed to raise my grades to acceptable levels. Grade 9 saw a repeat of the process, with me telling self that four of my six teachers were incompetent. They were, but I didn’t help matters any. Things got better for the last three years of high school. I did well, even in the one class that had an incompetent instructor. The first year of college, or should I say first semester, was a wash. I had not integrated the work habits that a successful run demands.

In the military, I found that the only way to survive in anything is to carefully plan things out. That snapped the losing streak and taught me proactivity. As time has gone on, being proactive has made all the difference between sink and swim. Everything from arranging travel to carefully meeting the needs of my grandchild has to be planned out and have my full attention. This all sounds quite run-of-the-mill, but the fact is that many people talk about and idealize achieving success. Unless the concept of proactivity is integrated, however, old bad habits die hard, and will resurface.

There are three things on my calendar for this week. The first was to take Aram to the airport, for a business trip. That had to be carefully planned out, so that all aspects of the drive, and who does what around the house, in his absence, were understood and integrated into daily schedules. Next is getting my tax return done. Although that is set for tomorrow evening, all the documents were photocopied in advance and the list gone over again, to make sure nothing is left out. The third thing is voting. I went over and cast my vote in one of the primaries, this afternoon. Being a recent registrant, I found that my name had not made it to the rolls, and that therefore, I have to have my provisional ballot “cured”, at the County Elections Office. That, too, could be done tomorrow-or Thursday.

I used to not be present for a lot of what went on in my life. I like it much better, being proactive and attentive.

Centrifuge

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Historical, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 2, 2026- Humanity seems like it is in a vessel that is spinning and separating people according to various qualities or elements. Those who took chemistry or physics in high school or college know full well that I am referring to a centrifuge. They can imagine, correctly, that the feeling is uncomfortable at best and shattering at worst.

Neoliberals argue that this “us against them” process is simply the way of the world- “just the way it is”, as the President of the United States said yesterday. Their whole premise is that the other side started it, and besides, the other side is “seeking to divide us against each other”-a centrifuge operating inside a centrifuge.

Depending on the historical record cited, this is indeed how it’s largely been for the past 6,000-10,000 years. It has been a slugfest, fueled by testosterone, territorialism and a scarcity mentality (zero sum game). “If you have power, I don’t”, however, no longer works well in a world that is more connected than that of Nebuchadnezzar, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Chingiz Khan or Napoleon Bonaparte. Hitler, cited by the ignorant who look wistfully at a past they barely comprehend, was in fact a poster child for the limits imposed by impulsivity coupled with simplistic blame-casting. His centrifuge tossed virtually everyone to the edges, leaving a sour cream of faux perfection to try and hold his fading Reich together.

The substrate of money plays a heavy role in the present exercise. Notice how those taking action against some countries, but not against others, seem to be acting mostly against those whose countries are rich in resources, and therefore a potential source of ever more revenue.

The centrifuge needs to be turned off. We are in a world that needs justice, far more than it needs to fuel ambition.

Head Held High

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 1, 2026- Hana has developed enough upper body strength to hold her head up, while prone, for several minutes. It will not be long before she can also scoot herself forward, without help. Crawling will come after that. She is able to track the movement of her caregiver and will respond to her name, often by raising her little hand. On top of that, she has started singing little cooed tunes that are in her head.

The biggest contribution I want to make to her life is to ensure that she holds her head high, regardless of circumstances. I am already telling her this, knowing that it will take some time for much of what I say, to register. Still, a lot of what is said to pre-lingual children can register and be used by them later in life. She certainly seems to be storing a lot of information already.

It is my belief that much of the trauma that children experience can be mitigated by a solid first six months following birth. During the newborn phase, many physical and communication skills are initiated. How confident a child becomes, depends on the balance between being comforted in actual times of distress and over-protection, when the child can calm self if given a few minutes to think and reflect, knowing that a loving presence is near, should it all be too much to process.

Hana is getting there, because one or more of us are paying close enough attention to know when she has hit a major bump in the road or just needs a bit of breathing room.

Iran

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 28, 2026- So, the Iranian regime has been upended, partially, by the intense bombing campaign. Whether the retaliation, by the part of the regime that is still intact, will amount to much, remains to be seen. As a member of the Baha’i Faith, I can only hope that the reign of terror that my fellows in Faith in that country have been enduring for nearly 182 years will be mitigated by the reshuffling of the Iranian power deck.

The playing cards analogy is only partly apt. The Islamic Republic is no house of cards. Their security apparatus will need to be reckoned with for some time to come. Even if the IRGC is removed from power, it will splinter into guerilla units, which may well harass the U.S. and other countries for years to come, the way al-Qaeda and IS have been, since the 1990s. It will have Russian help and perhaps Chinese acquiescence.

That said, it is good for the Iranian people, as a whole, that there will be changes made, if not immediately, then in fairly short order. The route of repression has never paid off, anywhere, in the long run. Tyrants from Nero to Pinochet and Ceaucescu have paid a heavy price for brutalizing their people. The Islamic Republic is now beginning to pay for its savagery. Those in other countries who are holding their people down would do well to take note. Those who are tempted to engage in repression should also take heed.

This is not a time for elites and oligarchs to do anything other than exercise humility.

Tommy

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social

February 27,2026- When I was about eight, a group of neighbourhood kids let it be known that there would be a “show” in one of the back yards. The host, who was a cut-up, did a show and tell of wilted flowers, which he stuck under each of our noses, and asked who could smell anything. Then there was Swami the Fortuneteller, a skinny guy about a year older than me, who sported a bed sheet wound around his head like a turban. He made silly predictions, none of which I recall, but the afternoon passed with many of us laughing and having a good time.

Years went by, and I came to know the “Fortuneteller”, his family and their twin German shepherds, Lad and Lady. His mother made the best spaghetti, meatballs and Italian sausage this side of East Boston, from which the family moved to Saugus in 1955. It took a lot to surpass my own mother’s cooking, but Tommy’s mother took Italian cuisine to a whole other level.

Tom went into the Army, not too long after graduating high school, and ended up in an artillery unit, in Viet Nam. I recall making a tape of his extended family, with about eight people contributing their 2 cents. It meant a lot to him to get that tape. When he came back, he had bonded with people of colour and inveighed against what he saw as prejudice. There was no colour in the jungle, except blood red. I was glad to hear that from him.

He went on to get an Associate’s Degree from North Shore Community College, as did several of us in the neighbourhood, myself included. Tom then chose the path of work for the United States Postal Service, following the path set by his maternal uncle. He thrived there and was able to retire after about twenty years or so. He and his then-wife raised three daughters, and he was able to take care of his mother, in her declining years. Tom never let go of his family bonds, and became a beloved grandfather to his three “babies”.

As our lives progressed, we saw one another less and less. I attended his wedding in 1974, before I moved away. When I went back to Saugus, usually once a year, I stopped by his house and we would occasionally go up to Polcari’s or some other pizza place for lunch. He and Beverly were at the reception my parents had for Penny and me, as were several of the guys and their wives. Tom and the gang were also at my father’s wake. After that, a stop at the house on Forest Avenue was a necessary part of any Saugus visit.

Tom passed away last Sunday. He was 77.

Thomas Frank Belmonte never shied away from a challenge and was always ready for a good time. The ability to know the difference between the two was a gift he shared with us. He was also one of the most loyal friends I’ve ever had. Tommy, even from all this distance, I’m gonna miss ya.