Monthly Archives: January 2024

Habit, or Potential

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 31, 2024- As I woke from a disturbing dream, this morning, I realized that I was not driving through gale force winds or microgusts, that there was no Mexican farm woman being propelled by such gusts, towards my vehicle and that I was not at risk of hurting her, or anyone else. My habit, after such dreams, has been to engage in what-ifs and self-doubts. I would not let that happen, today.

My cosmic advisor, Elizabeth Peru, talked about the choice we each have, this year, with its Eight Universal energy that is action-focused. We can act out of habit-thus invoking the Irish admonition, “Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” We can, conversely, act based on our potential-and show what we can truly offer humanity.

The year began with my going back to Blue Collar roots, and pushing myself to drive through snow, to Ghost Ranch, and doing the noble work of a tradesman, step-by-step, not cutting corners and above all, not doubting my capabilities. I fashioned a heart, from soapstone, to send to a beloved friend, next month. The rest of January has been more quotidian, but the year ahead is filled with opportunities to make the choice: Habit, or potential. I have an added incentive: A relationship to foster and tend. The habitual Gary would mess things up, through self-doubt. So, I am going with potential. The good woman I met, last Fall, deserves my best.

Elizabeth says that only one other year, in recorded history, has featured Eight Universal energy at the same time as a solar maximum is taking place. That year was 1979. Remember where you were, if you were born prior to 1974, or thereabouts. What was going on in your life? I recall that 1979 was the year that I truly started to get my act together-and began to really explore the West, transcend my comfort zone and stand up for myself, when attacked by a disgruntled former colleague. From that point on, I went back and forth, several times, between habit and potential. It has, however, mainly been an upward trajectory, with the plateau decade of 2000-09 nonetheless seeing a rise to the challenges of caretaking and facing down my personal demons.

This year will not be one of habit.

The Gem of Solitude

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 30, 2024- I came upon the heart-shaped mineral, admiring its inherent sublime beauty. Picking it up, and feeling its smoothness, just for few minutes, gave me an appreciation of the heat, the pressure and the various cracks and separations that this piece of finery endured, over millennia, to arrive here, along Highland Nature Center’s Trail #4442. I noted that it has, underneath, a perfect heart-shaped indentation in the ground.

A quiet testimony to the love of the Universe

After placing the stone carefully back over its indentation, I thought of the value of solitude. What would I do, if everyone I cared about, including the woman I love most in this world, were to disappear from this life? What would I do, if they all decided they’d had enough, and left me on my own? I would be like the rock, still occupying my space and still reflecting the strength that the Divine has imparted into me. I would be ready for whatever came next.

As long as we draw breath, there is a purpose. As long as we have form, shape, solidity, there is a future. I went there, to Highland Center’s trail to Lynx Creek, having not been on it for several years, after another event was canceled, due to a scheduling conflict. The trail showed me the seemingly endless stretch of the Bradshaw Mountains, to the south and southeast.

Bradshaw Mountains, stretching south from Lynx Lake

After a stretch, I came to Lynx Creek, frozen on its surface, about a mile from the lake that was formed when it was dammed, in 1952. Of course, being Arizona, the ice is scarcely an inch thick.

Lynx Creek, at Highland Nature Center

Coming out of my reverie, I recognized that this morning of solitude was largely due to everyone else being busy with life, as I am myself, most days. My dearest, across the ocean, was asleep-and besides, she is in the midst of a very busy week. My friends here are likewise dealing with life’s happenings. I will be back in that regimen, myself, tomorrow and for the rest of 2024’s fifth week. Today, though, it is as if I have Planet Earth to myself-looking at the stretch of the Bradshaws, this morning and at the shimmering oak tree, in my neighbour’s front yard, as I write this piece.

Here is a gratuitous reminder of that regimen, from yesterday’s trip to Phoenix: The Arizona State Capitol.

The house with the copper dome

The Wider Net Cast

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 29, 2024- There was nothing left behind, forgotten, when I finally got underway, taking a friend to Sky Harbor Airport, this morning. Much ground was covered, in terms of what is needed in order for humanity to understand self, for its members to understand themselves-and one another, for children to be truly honoured and understood and for the global plantation mentality to be overcome, transcended. I was set straight, that in this friend’s opinion, I had some serious work to do with regard to what I was willing to accept from children. In her view, everything that a child does needs to be accepted and understood. 

I will go with the understood part, but we can’t just accept destructive behaviour, no matter who is engaging in it. Children do appreciate guidance, having limits set and gentle models provided, by the adults in their lives.

As for the hierarchic mentality-whether we call it plantation, patriarchy or Fascist, the idea that some are inherently superior to others-the Hammond Doctrine, if you will, needs dismantling. There will always be some who have strengths in certain areas and less so in others. My dearest one is skilled in finances. I am fairly competent in that area, but I don’t hold a candle to her. My son is a whiz in technology and systems security. Again, I can maintain a modicum of computer safety, but that’s as far as that ship sails. Others are primo, athletically, artistically or scientifically. I am lucky if I hit a baseball or softball to the outfield, throw a football 30 yards or swim one lap, the length of an Olympic-sized pool-and then with my head underwater. I made a stone carving, a few weeks ago and fashioned it into a rough necklace-but it doesn’t look half bad. Just don’t ask me to draw a human or animal, freehand. At age 73, I can balance a chemical equation and probably figure out simple physics problems, but that’s the extent of it. As brother put it, my strength is in my heart. The point of all this is, each of us has strengths and flaws. So, none can inherently just assume the mantle of authority in all things. Hence, there ought be no hierarchy. It’s the collective, the sharing, that proffers strength.

I had the pleasure of seeing that my site has drawn a fair number of visitors from a nation, other than the United States, that is dear to my heart. A wider net was cast, and seems to be attracting those whose views I also value.

Flexible

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Posted by on in American Legion, Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 28, 2024- The account that a fellow Legionnaire gave, of his ailing wife’s situation, was achingly familiar. He has arrived at the conclusion that he needs to cultivate a hobby. I heartily concurred with him on that. When one has lived and loved one person, for so many years, it is hard to prepare to change course. It took me three long years to get myself together. Even afterward, there were times when brief relapses happened-but when an ill-wisher challenged my judgement, I knew I was over the hump. Blocking and deleting people who attacked me, after 2014, came a lot easier, as did bringing myself to serious account. A far more peaceful environment has been the result.

I am on the cusp of a life change, still in the realm of possibility, that would rest on flexibility. That, in turn, depends upon inner tranquility. The centered soul can be flexible, prioritizing the needs of the one(s) that are loved the most. That’s all I will say, for the time being. Great changes, like Penny’s illness and death (2003-11), the sale of our house (2011), and the sale of a second home, due to the vagaries of double taxation (2014) have come and gone. I have survived, because there are other things that I have had to do, and have yet to accomplish.

One thing that I have re-started is to walk to places that are within two miles of Home Base, unless time is tight, or the weather is just plain awful. Today, I walked to a friend’s restaurant, connected with a neighbour the next street over from me and watched a bit of a football playoff game, and walked back to HB 1, about an hour later. Exercise at Planet Fitness followed. It’s time to continue my fitness pattern. I can’t be a support to another human being, if I slack off in my own space. So, onward and upward, it is.

Centenary, and Remembrance

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 27,2024- The grief-stricken woman told me, and bar staff, what had happened to a beloved family member, and relayed the seemingly nonchalant reaction of someone who had once told her that he was dependable. I shared with her about my own experiences, and the current state of my life. She was heartened by both what I had experienced taking care of my late wife, Penny, and by the present state of a new love in my life. As she broke down, and needed reassurance, I hugged her, and she wished me well with the rest of my life. When she left, we briefly discussed our own reactions to her story; D’s daughter agreeing with me that an undependable friend is no friend at all. I paid for my meal, and coffee, then headed back to Home Base 1.

I thought of Penny, and how no matter the level of difficulty with her condition, I would never have left her alone, or dismissed her pain. I stayed with her, until the end of her life, and would do so again and again. I think of the new love that has appeared in my life, and know that if she needed me to be by her side, post haste, I would be there, across the ocean, as quickly as humanly possible-and stay with her, for the duration.

Today, one of the most influential men I’ve ever had the honour of knowing would have turned 100 years of age. That he was the father of my first true love as an adult, and the treasured grandfather of our son was a bonus. Norman David Fellman was, more than these, much more. He was the living symbol of the Holocaust survivors-a Jewish soldier in the U.S. Army, in the final year of World War II. He was captured by the German Army, in the southern flank of the Battle of the Bulge, kept prisoner in Berga, in a special POW unit of Jewish-, Mexican- and Romani-Americans. He survived, and when found by the U.S. Army, 97 pounds clung to his 6’1″ frame. He thrived, attended college, decided to open his own shoe business, married his life-long sweetheart, sired Penny and adopted twin girls-raising all three to be strong women. He and my mother-in-law, Ruth, were married for 65 years, until his death in 2014. (Ruth survived him by four years.) They owned and ran a farm, which tided them over, when he sold his shoe business. They raised and rode Arabian horses, teaching all three girls-and me, how to ride, and care for, those wondrous beasts. Norm was a fixture in Veterans organizations, and even made a video of his experiences, which at one point aired on national television. It must have come very hard, but he made it his mission, to ensure that the experiences of those who kept freedom alive were not forgotten.

Likewise, International Holocaust Remembrance Day was established, in 1996, on this, the day of Norm’s birth. It was a fact that gave him great satisfaction, though like the gentleman he was, IHRD became more important to the day, than his own birthday. That this remembrance has continued, despite the noise and hasty judgement heaped upon all Jews, for the actions of a relative few among them, would be a point of pride, for Norm, Ruth and Penny, were they here among us still. He would fulminate, as only he could, against all those he saw as perpetrators of injustice.

I was all too glad to have been able to help a stranger in distress, to help finish a good friend’s move, earlier in the day and to give due homage to a great man. Let us never forget the Shoah!

The Blind Dancer, and Other Marvels

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, Entertainment, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 26, 2024- He danced with his beloved woman, confidently in her arms and with a serene expression, as Galactogogues gave another rousing and stellar performance, this evening. Blind since birth, the gentleman is an accomplished musician in his own right, and a regular at Raven Cafe. He is one of many marvels of our town, in his instrumentality and in his dancing.

A couple who have had a hard life, and have stuck together for over forty years, are monitoring me, since we had a disagreement about something, two months ago. They seem almost saintly, in and of themselves, yet inquire of mutual friends about my well-being, or so I’m told. It is something of a marvel, that this is even important to them. My life is not all that prominent in Prescott.

My work day began with an expectation, on my part, that this would be a quiet day, working with Special Needs children. The school is understaffed, though, and it was no surprise when I was informed by the Office Manager that my day would be split: Morning, teaching Music and Afternoon with a First grade class. After a dicey start, I was able to get access to the computer and video, in time to teach three groups of children about rhythm and tempo, using rhythm sticks, whilst listening to varying speeds of a video-based tune. Of course, they liked the prestissimo the best.  The middle school choir was self-directed, which was fortunate, as the teacher had not left plans for their class period. 

After some sober assessment of the overall situation, the OM decided that I should have an hour break, at lunch, and had me teach one more music class, using the same plan. Then there was First Grade, reading the chapter of “Charlotte’s Web, in which Wilbur decides he wants to try to spin a web of his own. Wilbur, for the unitiated, is a pig. The old “when pigs can fly” quip pretty much gives an idea of what happened next. Charlotte rightly points out that, as a domesticated animal, he is fed by the farmer, and so, is not in need of a web. A spider, on the other hand, must fend for self. The children got the point, that they are cared for, but that many people have to fend for themselves. Charlotte also compares her web to a bridge that people build-and with that, we segued into the topic of bridges. The afternoon was delightful.

Just before attending the latter part of the Galactogues concert, I joined an hour-long devotional, discussing the topic of Resurrection. We Baha’is see it as spiritual rebirth, rather than full-on re-emergence of a physical body, from the dead. I have had several dreams , over the years since Penny died, in which she had come back alive and I felt the need to re-arrange my life to accommodate her renewed presence. Realizing, upon waking, that this was only a dream, and that she is in a good place, I came to understand that her spirit is in a constant state of renewal and advancement. Indeed, whilst sitting at her grave site, in early December, I got affirmation that her spirit is pleased with, and had involvement in, my new friendship with another woman. I think that, as one of my primary spirit guides, Penny has made sure that I have all manner of friends, of both genders. One’s spiritual progress, after death, is probably the greatest of marvels.

Taking Ownership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 25, 2024- Child # 1 kept denying having broken a health-related rule, even though ten of his classmates testified that he had done so, and the evidence was there, on his desk. He was held to account for the violation. Had he not been, who knows how many copy cats would have followed suit?

I have said it before: I was the world’s worst miscreant, when it came to covering up misdeeds, from childhood to the end of my erring days. I was actually relieved, in later years, when called to account for bad choices. It meant, usually, a chance to start afresh and act more in tune with Divine teachings.

We’ve discussed owning one’s bad choices before, on this site. Families, communities and countries have never been known to thrive, when a key member of the grouping goes from one denial to another. Yet, some believe the denier, largely because they see so many dodging responsibility for their actions. So, “why not give ________the benefit of the doubt?” Well, there is “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” There is also the fact that the individual’s spiritual state does not improve, over time, with the accumulation of “duck, dodge and hide”.

What I’ve found is that I have gotten umpteen chances to overcome a character defect-until the time comes that the baggage is actually cast overboard.

Other Places, Other Uses

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 24, 2024- Two bags worth of bath towels, bed sheets and pillow slips went to the Thrift Store, this afternoon, along with a piece of art that I collected a while back, and my two boxed sets of the last two seasons of “Game of Thrones” . In each case, the materials were either far more than I need, or no longer reflect the person into whom I’ve evolved-especially in the past three months. Others who need or can use these items are more than welcome to them. There will be further downsizing, next week, when I have more free time to go through the closets and cabinets.

This year of action, as it has been described, finds me getting up with new energy-and I attribute that, partially, to the fact that I feel the supportive energy of someone whose days and nights are opposite ours here in Prescott. I send loving energy back to her, as well. On top of an already strong network of support, here at Home Base, and across the continent, this energy is a much-treasured bonus. The other element is that I sense increased support from those who have gone on before me-from Penny and from my ancestors who, as I saw yesterday, are making themselves known to my extended family, in ways we have not seen in a while. In any case, I feel so much calmer, more self-assured, and more automatically directed to simplifying my life, since my visit to the Philippines.

Much of what happens this year, especially in the wider world, will seem, at first blush, as having no rhyme or reason. A calm and confident approach to our surroundings, and to things outside our comfort zone, will be necessary to survival-and to the thriving that will follow. There will be a fair amount of yelling-always happens in Election Season, or whenever people feel threatened by even the most innocuous of remarks. There will be weather-related challenges and disasters. We will each lose people we love dearly-some very unexpectedly. In the end, around Christmas and New Year’s, it’ll be obvious to those who have kept a clear head that all of this is part of a larger evolution-and that the skies will clear, the ground settle and the guns will, in fair order, fall silent.

These thoughts are with me, settling in for the night, before two days of work bring a brisk week to its end.

Restoration

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 23, 2024- Sportage came back, this afternoon, good as new.           The black Corolla did its job, over the past four days, and has gone back to Rental Land.   My bathroom is far more spacious, relatively speaking, with excess items ready to go to the Thrift Store, or to the PASS collection point, tomorrow.                   My Nana’s family-parents and siblings-are shown with her as a 17-year-old, and Great-Nana, who was 1/4 Penobscot, in her 40s. It’s the first time I’ve seen the thirteen Gallant children with their parents. The restoration of our family tree is a long work in progress.         A friend is concerned about the course of life, once career is over and family has been raised. There needn’t be any worry. Once retirement has been announced, the community finds things for one to do, and if they don’t, then family will certainly have some ideas on the matter.

We are ever in a cycle of progress, stasis, decline and restoration. Refinement of attributes is a lifelong process and while we are readying ourselves for a spiritual journey, part of that is a big chunk of energy, spent living in Earth time. It doesn’t necessarily end with retirement-and definitely doesn’t end when the children become adults.

Progress, stasis, decline, restoration.

The Spirit Moves

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 22, 2024- A friend at the coffee klatsch, this morning, casually mentioned that she was moving from one building to another, within the Senior apartment complex. This was two days after I had helped another woman, also like a sister to me, move some of her belongings to a larger house. 

January is a month of new beginnings, yet it is not, customarily, a time for moving, given that cold weather and precipitation abound-across most of the North American continent. This year, however, is one of actionable change, and moving is often part of that process. 

I received a “wink, wink, nudge, nudge” post on social media, last night, showing a set of attractive and affordable apartments, in another location. While someone, about whom I care deeply, lives in that place, I have no plans to relocate, this year. Also, it is a matter that this person and I would need to discuss, fully and calmly, before deciding whether one of us, or both of us, would pack up and go elsewhere. That will likely occupy the rest of this year-but who knows?

Another person for whom I care deeply is making initial, and solid, progress in dealing with a health concern. I was very glad to hear specifics on that matter, earlier today. This, and the above-mentioned, are as much spiritual journeys as physical and pecuniary ones. We are each stepping into the unknown, and following our hearts as well as our minds-trusting in a Higher Power.

I am, while anchored at Home Base 1, resuming my taking stock of household inventory. Checking the cabinet that held sheets and towels, I found that 90 % of what was in that container was excessive. It was one of the last parts of my household that was mostly left over from when Penny was alive. So, a fair amount went to a woman with a large extended family, this evening, and the rest will go to a shelter collection drive, tomorrow morning. Other items that have outlived their usefulness, or that no longer reflect the person I have become, will also go to Thrift Store shelves, tomorrow.

I have no way of predicting how my life, or anyone else’s, will look, in December of this year, but the Spirit is moving mountains-and hearts.