Category Archives: Inner Struggles

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 16

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 6, 2026- I spent much of the day at a Red Cross Donation Center in Irving, about 40 minutes west of Plano. When I got back, Hana was waiting and wanted me to play with her for a while. So, we focused on a new set of colour-coded cloth baskets, which each hold three cloth vegetables and fruits. The green basket holds a watermelon, an avocado and a pear. The yellow basket holds an ear of corn, a banana and a pineapple. The red basket holds an apple, a tomato and a strawberry. The orange basket holds a pumpkin, a carrot and-an orange. The items are lined up on a Velcro strip, on one of the walls of the playpen. Hana has started to associate the vegetable or fruit with its coloured basket. She is especially fond of the red items.

She went with her Mom and Dad to a Japanese market, while I was at the Red Cross center. She seemed to like the place better than she did the first time we all went there, for Mother’s Day. Of course, then she was four months old. Being “twice as old” changes one’s perspective. Having had a full day, at any rate, she went to sleep before 7 p.m.

HANA’S NOTE- I like the colour game. I can even put some of the pieces in the right baskets.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2020 The meteor streaked past my home, as i arrived back from a drumming session in Sedona, around midnight. Meteors and comets often portend something momentous. Little did any of us who saw the fireball know just how impactful the event would be. Coronavirus disease 2019 was not World War III. In a way, it was far worse. COVID 19 could have easily wiped out a huge percentage of the world’s population. As it was, the number of victims, in all but six of the world’s countries and territories, was, by the pandemic’s ebb, a horrendous toll. There were a lot of deaths, and a significant number of people suffered from lingering effects of the disease. Vaccinations became available, and once school resumed, in the Fall of the year, we substitutes had to be vaccinated with two doses, two months apart. Many people distrusted the vaccines, and tried their own remedies. For the healthiest of those folks, the DIY stuff had a placebo effect. For others, like Herman Cain, a conservative podcaster, it was lethal.

I, like most people, was largely confined to home during the worst months of the pandemic. We had meetings on Zoom, an online network, which actually allowed people to communicate across the nation and the globe, visually as well as audibly.

I took hikes, around Prescott and in Sedona. I visited restaurants whose owners either were not cowed by the pandemic or who had people who were unrelated sit apart. In grocery stores-and most other places, like the post Office, masks were required and distances of 12 ft. were required. Semantics became a battleground- “physical distance” vs. “social distance” being one of the bones of contention.

Hurricanes did not take notice of the pandemic. In August, I spent two weeks with the victims of Hurricane Laura, as part of a team responding in Alexandria and Baton Rouge, Louisiana during the brunt of the storm. I was daytime floor supervisor, tending to the needs of some 86 displaced souls.

A month later, I went to Dallas, and helped many of the same people, who were now living in a hotel provided by the Red Cross. I was “bumped up” to assistant shelter supervisor, by an appreciative manager. Each family had their own room, and meals were taken in a large dining area with long tables. FEMA was present, and I was able to establish a good working relationship with that team. The two weeks passed with few serious issues. A laundry snafu, which resulted in a person’s clothes being mislabeled by the laundry service, and thus delivered to the wrong room, required some detective work on my part. Fortunately, after I had arranged for some shopping funds for the aggrieved party, her clothes were brought to us by the person who had been given them by mistake. All was thus made right. The ladies even gave each other “air hugs”.

The year ended, while the pandemic lingered. I was okay, even celebrating my 70th birthday at the family apartment in Plano-their first Texas home. We all survived.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 15

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 5, 2026- Hana carefully observed two visitors today. One was a fast-talking salesman, trying to drum up business for his pest control company. She smiled wanly at him, but didn’t offer her customary “Hi”. The second, a plumber, was here to look at an area of our concern. She smiled a lot more at him, and said “Hi”. My grandchild already has a sense of people.

She again talked a lot, and was glad that I sat down with her, while Mom and Dad were fixing dinner. I told her that I was glad she was using her teething ring, and she showed me the toy. Her top lateral incisors (canines) are coming in, and so she is chewing on a lot of teething rings-and a few things that aren’t.

HANA’S NOTE- I like to be able to choose my own activities. Papa lets me do that, so it’s fun to have him in the playpen.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2019 The day after the family wedding, last June, Aram asked Yunhee to marry him and she said “Yes”. They had a civil wedding in November of last year, on the island of Guam. On March 10, they had a Baha’i wedding, in Kwangju, South Korea. I was there, a few days early. The journey from Phoenix to Los Angeles was a lesson in patience (United left Phoenix two hours behind schedule), and I arrived at LAX, 90 minutes late, the result being that I was the last passenger to get on the plane for Seoul.

The wedding itself was small, by Korean standards, yet it was dignified and happy. The reception hall was full afterwards, and why not? The food was plentiful and tasty. Our family had now officially spanned the Pacific. I joined a family outing to Cheonju, a city with an interesting historic district and went with Aram and Yunhee’s father to a men’s spa. Gender-separate bath houses are very common in Korea. A day or two later, I flew back to the U.S. and my Korean family continued their Naval life.

I had cut ties with the unsettled woman, last October, after she threatened to see that I lost my job.. She nonetheless parked her RV at the park across the road from our little Quad. She never directly tried to pester me, but I knew I was being watched. That aside, I was starting to be affected by mold in my workspace; all of us-staff and students, were. It was affecting my judgment and my energy level. In late March, I threw my left knee out, taking a step down on stairs I had walked down dozens of times. It was a mild sprain, but after treatment and two weeks of P/T, I was okay again. In mid-April, though, a misunderstanding with another staff member led to my deciding to leave the Autism Program. The day that I resigned, the RV lady drove off and I have not seen her since.

In summer, I set out again on a cross-country journey- starting with a visit to an old friend in Coal Mine, AZ, then camping at Canyon de Chelly, before taking the customary northern route, through Albuquerque, Amarillo and Oklahoma, visiting with Xanga friends there. This time, though, I drove across Arkansas and Tennessee, visiting my friends in Crossville, then stopping in Chattanooga and Knoxville. I had Elantra serviced in Knoxville, then headed over to Asheville, NC, taking in that city’s elegant downtown. The road then took me to Tryon, NC, a town that I had briefly considered as a Home Base, sight unseen, in 2011. I might have been happy there, had Prescott not captivated me.

South Carolina brought satisfying visits to Columbia, Aiken, Hilton Head Island and Charleston. I took in Fort Sumter, another spot on Penny’s 2007 virtual field trip itinerary that we had not fulfilled. Back in North Carolina, I visited a Baha’i friend in Salisbury and stopped in Raleigh, to do laundry and spend time in the Capitol District. Another visit with dear Xanga friend in Virginia Beach, was followed by a drive across Chesapeake Bay to Cape Charles and Virginia’s Eastern Shore. It was fascinating top watch the ponies at Assateague, frolicking in the surf. Then came a stop in Dover, DE-the compact and delightful capital of the First State. My Oley stop followed, then up through PA to New York, and a visit to West Point-the last of the three Service Academies I’ve visited. My Dad had always wanted to go there, so I fulfilled his wish for him. Popeye Doyle (“The French Connection”) never went to Poughkeepsie-the foil in one of his throwaway lines in that movie. I spent a day or so in the town and in nearby Newburgh. Lovely area, along the Hudson River, though both cities were a tad rundown.

Going north, I decided to drive through Massachusetts’ southwest corner, stopping in the southern Berkshires, at Egremont. In Saugus, for Independence Day, saw fireworks and had quality time with Mom and my siblings. I made a return visit to Amherst, and my alma mater-University of Massachusetts, then toured Mt. Holyoke, a women’s university, south of town. Across Connecticut, I sopped in Danbury and spent time with that city’s Revolutionary War sites. The next main stops were Pittsburgh, for a Baha’i Holy Day gathering, Mishawaka, Chicago-for a night in Wrigleyville, near the Cubs Stadium, Wilmette, Wapello, IA, Kansas City and a small town named Satanta,KS. I paid respects to the fallen at Silver Creek, CO, a solemn cap to my sojourn.

Fall brought me back into substitute teaching, with a more connected sense of mission. I chose my assignments more discerningly, going forward.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 9

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 30, 2026- Hana mostly just wanted individual time with each of us, so we took turns in the Playpen and letting her nap in our arms. She is also more vocal and keeps eye contact, to make sure we understand what she wants.

She wore a skirt with panty, in the morning, then was switched to her first pair of jeans, in the afternoon. These made no difference to her, except during diaper changes. She is fairly adaptable, though, showing that her trust is very deep.

Mommy and Daddy took Hana with them, on a morning run to H-Mart. I went to a Baha’i devotional, then came back to a fine lunch of freshly made kim bap (sushi rolls). I recall, fondly, that this was my first Korean food, back in 1986. Yunhee does it very well.

HANA’S NOTE- I was so happy when Papa came back from the place he often goes on Sunday. He brought his prayer book, so it must have been a nice meeting.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2013 I was planning for my summer journey to be a spiritual quest of sorts: Grand Teton, Yellowstone, Spirit (“Devils”) Tower, Black Elk Peak, Pipestone, the Baha’i House of Worship (Wilmette),and my brother, Glenn’s Sail Blind race, off Newport, RI were on the itinerary. First, though, was a birthday party for my twin sisters-in-law, in Colorado. It would all have gone nicely, but I tripped up, emotionally and spiritually, allowing confusion to set in and sidetrack me,a fair amount That it caused problems for a devoted friend haunted me for a good long time.

The shattering of our Prescott community, just prior to my journey, also had an effect on my own equilibrium, and the fact that only two years had elapsed, since I lost Penny, didn’t help. Yet, on June 30, 19 wildland firefighters died in a firestorm, west of Prescott. There were several people displaced and I helped man a Red Cross shelter, for three days, until a larger crew arrived to lead the sheltering effort.

In the end, the journey had its sublime moments, I reached each of the places on my itinerary and began to make amends to said friend.

No sooner had I returned to Prescott, than I read an appeal from a single mother to help with moving. I answered that appeal, and made a friendship that has lasted to this day. Additionally, my friend introduced me to do Terra natural supplements, which I also use to this day. My gratitude to Melissa knows no bounds.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 7

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 28, 2026- “Let’s go.” With that remark, Hana stood at the gate to her playpen, and was ready for me to help her take some steps. She is not shy about asking for help, or,as was the case today, telling me she wants assistance. I carefully opened the gate and we took about a dozen steps, almost making it to her mother’s office. She stopped at the small rise between her play pit and the front door. After thinking for a few minutes, she took the step up and made it along the wooden floor as far as her father’s pair of sneakers. Her mother came out of the office and Hana decided she’d done enough step-taking for the morning.

The three of us went shopping at Costco, as Aram was at work. When Yunhee said she was going into the fruit cooler, to get blueberries, Hana excitedly said “Yum!” She can’t get enough of them. The four of us do go through blueberries rather quickly.

She was exhausted by day’s end, not letting herself sleep, even when put down for a nap. She had to keep practicing standing and scooting, much of the afternoon. After her bath, she was in bed by 6:45, and out like a light.

HANA’S NOTE- I am glad that Papa understands me, when I say some words in his language. I am understanding his language, and my Mama’s, more and more.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2011 Aram made the call, while I was at work, in the last few days of February. Penny’s visiting doctor and home nurse had both come down with the flu and were unable to fulfill their visits. She needed care, regardless, so back to the Hospice she went. We spent most of our time there, the next several days. Penny began to throw out the artwork that visiting children had left, and she was asleep most of the time, anyway. My wife of twenty nine years became unresponsive in the evening of March 3. She remained in laboured breathing, the next day. as there was no available room for me to stay that night, Aram and I went home.

The next morning, I awoke to a heavy presence that filled our bedroom. I knew Penny was saying goodbye. Getting up and readying for the day, I took a call from the Hospice, just after 6 a.m. We had to go there quickly. When Aram and I arrived at the Hospice, the air was still, but there was a light spiral of dust and leaves going upward, near the front door. We went inside, where the nurse said she had just checked on Penny and she was lying calmly, in shallow breath. That breath had stopped, however, at 6:03, and her still warm body was lifeless, as I held her hand. We summoned the doctor, called a friend who was a mortician, and spent about thirty minutes saying our own goodbyes. We then had to drive to Prescott, and sat with Penny’s parents, in this time that no parent should have to endure.

The following Tuesday, I wrapped my beloved’s body in silk, carefully following the directions I was getting from her spirit. It was a dignified ending, to a horrific eight years of physical and mental decline. It had witnessed me grappling with every bit of self-loathing, while I kept going because Penny needed me, our son needed me and, I needed myself to get a grip and somehow pull through.

Family came, we gave her a loving funeral and then, I was alone, save for our son. I went back to work at Dysart and Glendale Union, the following Monday. Outside of work, though, I was a shell of a person, for two months. In May, Aram and I drove east, to my third niece’s wedding, in New Hampshire, one for which Penny and I had prayed for most of our last year together. It was an event that I needed to attend, even if some of the family thought it was too soon for me to be out. It was a beautiful affair.

Summer came soon after. Aram entered the Navy. I moved my belongings to Prescott, leaving behind our home of eight years. Then I drove east, again, spending a week at Louhelen Baha’i School, slowly pulling myself together. Visits with family in Georgia, New Jersey and Massachusetts were alternately hard and comforting, but I’m glad to have made them. When I went back to Prescott, it felt like I was settling into a haven of peace. Gradually, I would shed the cloak of self-loathing and earn the respect of all but one or two of my family members. I would also feel like I had found community, at long last.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 6

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 27,2026- My granddaughter has started joking around, in her way, telling me a fair amount of babbling, then giggling. I then get a hug around the neck. She will also shout :”Hey”, from the playpen, to see who answers. She has been sleeping more soundly at night, though she gets up at 5 a.m., probably a bit too soon for her parents. Sometimes, Hana will see that they are sleeping, and lie back down, herself.

Hana is also getting more confident in her standing. She is listening better to her parents and making an effort to not try to stand up, when in the dining high chair. That was starting to make us more than a little nervous. She loves our early morning walks in the stroller, occasionally singing little tunes, as we go along.

HANA’S NOTE- Is something happening in the sky? It seems like some people are acting strange. I’m glad my grownups are not.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2010 Penny began sleeping more, in February. I kept watch on her, but when she was awake, she seemed lucid. I taught a class at the same Community College where Penny had studied in 2000. It went so/so. My teaching was not altogether focused and a rather pedantic delivery, much of the time, didn’t help. I substituted in the two districts, on days when I wasn’t in class. My son and a couple of young people who were living with us helped tend to Penny, while I was putting food on the table and keeping the utilities on.

Our finances had collapsed, though, and we faced foreclosure. An arrangement was worked out, where we were able to short sell the home, and the investor who bought it let us live there, for as long as Penny was able to stay with us. I did what I could to renovate: Painting the exterior, replacing the carpet and painting the major rooms.

By June, Penny needed surgery on her back and was officially diagnosed with Polyglucosan Body Disease. Following the fairly successful surgery, though, she needed to be in rehabilitation, in a specialty hospital. She was treated fairly well there, and had the serendipity of her breathing therapist being a young lady who we knew as a baby in Tuba City, nearly twenty five years earlier. The girl only made the connection when she told her mother, also a nurse, about her work with Penny, and her mother remembered us.

We continued with my working, Penny remaining in the specialty hospital and Aram going through his semester at a community college, until November, when the insurance ran out. Penny was then deemed ready for hybrid hospice care, Some alternatives were presented, which both Penny and I considered unseemly. We arranged for her to be treated by a visiting hospice doctor and nurse.

I was about to turn 60, a milestone that was important to my siblings, as our dad had not made it that far. Aram and I celebrated on my actual birthday, 11/28, with three of the boarders, enjoying pizza. My two brothers and a sister-in-law came to Phoenix in early December, and joined the three of us at Durant’s Restaurant, a top Phoenix steakhouse. It would be Penny’s last restaurant meal. We also took in the APS Parade of Lights, a nice touch that was one of my wife’s last enjoyable outings. I took her to the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, for a couple of days, as well.

When we “rang in the New”, ten of us saw 2011 arrive. My beloved wife slept through it, and we would have only two more months together.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 4

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 25,2026- Hana had another good day with her mother being around. She was again very active and vocal, calling up to me, every so often,as I spent much of the day clearing out boxes and hauling a couple of them to Goodwill.

Her newest attempt is to try and climb, but there is no foothold in the playpen-so fortunately, this is not something that rings alarm bells, yet. We are actively planning out which cabinets and drawers will get the zip ties, where the gates will go and which currently accessible cords and plugs need to be moved. We have about two months to get that all arranged.

Hana’s favourite book, right now, is “Love, Monster”. When she looks at the rather innocuous hairy beast on the cover, she growls “Raaaah”. Then she opens the book and gives the monster a kiss. She likes the ending, in which the red-haired monster falls in love with a brown-haired female monster.

HANA’S NOTE- I am tired today, after a strange dream just before I woke up. I am glad that Mommy and Papa are here, so I am safe.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2008 We spent a lot of our nest egg on an inchoate stem cell treatment. We were just willing to try anything to counteract Polyglucosan Body Disease. Penny spent most of the time that she wasn’t working on her Masters Program researching the disease and any possible treatments. She found an American-run clinic in Tijuana that looked about as promising as anything available in the U.S. It didn’t have much effect and follow-up treatments were beyond our means.

Then, the housing bubble burst, and we were on the ropes with our mortgage, which we had been paying down fairly well up to this point. As autumn turned to winter, I was still working for WIS and at the two school districts (Dysart and Glendale Union). Penny was still getting her retirement and SSDI. Aram worked for WIS, a while longer, then was mostly covering for me, while I was at work.

The bottom would drop out, in the year ahead, and family would be our saving grace.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 3

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 24, 2026- Hana is now trying to stand, just momentarily, without holding onto the bar, whilst in the play pen. She managed for a split second, then reached and grabbed the bar, to steady herself. Most of her practice involves holding onto the bar, though more and more, she is using her right hand only to steady herself, whilst upright.

She has her mother largely to herself this week, and maybe next, as Yunhee transitions into a another position. So, I used the time to empty my storage unit and clean out a few boxes, once I had everything upstairs. Gradually, the mess that I once let sprawl out in my apartment will be sent to a new life somewhere else or will be recycled.

Hana talked almost constantly, much of the day. She called out to her mother: “Oma!” or to me: “Papa!”, Her father was called, also, almost as soon as he walked in the door, this evening: “Daddy!” She seems to be telling us how important her practicing is. We all agree.

HANA’S NOTE- I have a lot on my mind, so I have to share it.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2007 Even with Penny being wheelchair bound, we still made it across country to several of the family weddings. We went to our eldest niece’s wedding, in New Hampshire, last Fall. This summer, with a Graduate School “Virtual Field Trip” project woven into the itinerary, we attended our eldest nephew’s wedding, in the Atlanta area. The ceremonies were both lofely, though I admit that I was a bit worn down from caring for Penny.

We had flown to/from New Hampshire, last year. This time, we flew to Atlanta and rented a car to drive along the East Coast, after the wedding. Our stops, mainly for taking footage to be included in Penny’s project, were: Savannah; Hilton Head Island (where we were nearly flooded out of our motel room); Charleston (SC); Wilmington (NC); Fredericksburg and Mount Vernon (VA); Washington, DC (where we took in part of the National Mall, before being sheltered in the White House Visitor Center, with 100 other travelers, due to the heavy rain); King of Prussia (PA) and the Old City of Philadelphia; a pit stop, each way, at the Fellmans’, in Bedminster,(NJ); and the North Shore (MA), where we were treated to a 25th Anniversary seafood dinner, at Woodman’s, in Esssex, courtesy of my brother and sister-in-law (Glenn and Barbie).

All the way, Penny’s rickety wheelchair hung in there, with emergency repairs done by our brother-in-law, Buck, in New Jersey. We stopped in Greensboro, NC, on the way back to Atlanta, then drove through the rain to a motel near the Georgia capital, the next day. We were nearly hit by a student driver, but I managed to see her swerving and moved to the next lane. She was in tears, mouthing “I’m sorry”, as I passed her a mile or so further. I was no prize, at that age, so I just smiled and kept on. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time and headed back to Phoenix, rickety wheelchair and all.

Fall and winter were more WIS, International and substituting at both Glendale Union and Dysart, while Penny plugged away at her third Masters and volunteered with a campus environmental group. She also dabbled in the Melaleuca Company, a nutritional supplement firm, based in Idaho, and got me involved with Ameriplan USA, a multilevel marketing company. I stuck with that for a couple of years, then distanced myself-the majority of the people involved were rather difficult to be around. We volunteered a bit with Phoenix Childrens Hospital and Childhelp USA, an abuse and neglect prevention organization. Penny was able to get a motorized scooter, in mid-September, which made things a lot easier. I had the Saturn outfitted with a retractable platform,which secured the scooter.

Slowly, though, we were moving towards a time of reckoning.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 8, Day 1

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 22, 2026- Hana was in a dress, for most of the day. This was to mark the passing of eight months, since she arrived, very quietly, in our midst. It didn’t stop her from practicing her standing or from dancing around with her father. When we finally went out for dinner, she had eaten hers and made a proper mess of her garb. She wore a more comfortable onesie. when we went to H-Mart’s Food Court.

This past month has seen her master sitting up, begin standing, with assistance or by pulling herself up, and making her own preferences known. Hana does not like wearing hats, at least not when she is in a stroller. She is okay with being put down for a nap, but not so much for being put in the play pen and just left. She wants to engage us in activities, which include having one of us lie down and letting her crawl all over us. After several minutes of interaction, she is ready to play on her own. She will eat anything put on her plate, but when she is full, the mouth stays closed and nothing will change her mind. Hana is often quiet around strangers, yet lately, she has started to say “Hi”, to people who seem friendly.

HANA’S NOTE- I had a bunch of photos taken this evening, mostly of the same pose. It seems my Mom likes to take a lot of the same pictures. I just want them to be done.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2005 I began this year with a five month assignment at Dysart Unified School District, as a preschool aide. It was more fun than I had anticipated and I bonded well with “the littles”. A couple of the children latched onto me, almost as a surrogate grandparent. That was okay.

We stuck close to home, during the summer, spending a week or two in Prescott, with Penny’s parents. They moved from the house in Kingswood to a more accessible house in a development called Willow Creek Gardens.

In the Fall, I took a substitute assignment at a high school on the far west end of Dysart, teaching World History. The classes were 2/3 serious students, 1/3 unruly. The department staff were helpful, the principal was officious and the assistant principal made everything a game of “Gotcha”. The serious students, and I, were just as glad when the regular teacher returned.

That Thanksgiving, we began several years of Thanksgiving Dinner at the home of either of two brothers, Irving and Nathan Robbins, friends of my in-laws. They alternated, and Penny’s mother brought a pie or sweet potato casserole to contribute. Christmas was spent at the Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, at the Marriott Resort, near Desert Ridge, in north Phoenix. several hundred people attended, usually dressed in their finest. Penny began to use a wheelchair, around the time of the holidays. I had to carefully monitor her, as she tried to get up and walk, but her legs weren’t cooperating. A nurse who worked part-time at the YMCA showed me how to correctly lift Penny, by locking knees and then lifting with my legs. That made a hard situation a tad easier.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 31

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 21, 2026- This was one of the quieter days. Hana slept for an hour in mid-morning and for two hours in the afternoon. These naps don’t interfere with her night’s sleep, so I think this is more evidence of a growth spurt.

When she wasn’t napping, we took our stroller walk, made more enjoyable by the cloud cover,which later burned off. (This is still the dry season.) She also did plenty of standing and took a couple of scooting steps, each time, along the bars of the playpen. This evening, we all came to consensus about Hana’s meals. When she is full, she keeps her mouth closed and will not take any more bites. That is okay with her grownups.

HANA’S NOTE- I am so glad everyone understands me. It is hard not to have words all the time, but I’m getting there.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2004- Penny went from cane to walker, in the Fall of 2003. She toughed this year out, saying she had no intention of going into a wheelchair. She would also not cut herself any slack. When there was a Baha’i devotional on the second floor of an apartment building, she insisted on going up, one step at a time, on her own.

I worked through the second semester at Palo Verde Middle School, with a modicum of support from the administration. I was not holding things together, though, and resigned at the end of the year,rather than drag everyone through the gathering mess. It was actually a relief, and the Fall found me substitute teaching at Glendale Union High School District-and doing well. As it happened, the three individuals who worked to keep me off balance, in the previous school district, didn’t change their ways and were arrested for a couple of other transgressions, the following school year. I was not surprised.

Life has a way of balancing things out, even when it looks darkest.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 30

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 20, 2026- Hana spoke clearly-“Papa, you can do this.”, as I struggled with the safety straps on her newly-installed car seat, this morning. In the end, I needed some reminders from Aram, over the phone, but she was right, I did a thing-I got her safely strapped in and off we went to my chiropractor’s office for my semi-monthly adjustment. Hana was along for the ride, and was quiet, while I was adjusted and afterward, while I paid the tab. I got her safely strapped in for the ride home and the rest of the day was quiet.

My granddaughter is going through a growth spurt, both physically and mentally. She is nearly 30″ tall and almost 19 pounds. Her vocalizations are ever more understandable. She can project her voice quite well-and not just when she is upset. She also likes to get into mischief, and so has had some clear boundaries drawn, which she is slowly accepting without a whole lot of fuss. “No playing with food, or eating utensils” is my mantra at lunch and dinner.

HANA’S NOTE- I thought it was funny to open my mouth and let food fall out. Papa didn’t think so, and it was put right back on my spoon and back into my mouth. Oh, well, at least he plays around with me in the playpen.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-2003 I had a steady job for the 2002-03 Academic Year-as an elementary school counselor for a small group of Special Needs students. It was only for a year, but it gave me a chance to do what I do best, professionally.

That was about the only thing that approached normality in this most jarring of years. In late April, Penny felt faint, while waiting for a Memorial Service to start, in a treeless cemetery, in east Phoenix. She fell backwards and her head hit a cinder block. She said she felt fine afterwards, but we got her checked at an ER for good measure. Not much out of the ordinary showed on the brain scan.

Two weeks later, as she was prepping for an unrelated procedure, she again lost her balance and fell into a bathtub, hitting her head against the wall tiles. This triggered a long-dormant neurological disease. Gradually, she went from walking more slowly on her own, to needing a cane, By October, she needed to use a walker.

We moved out of Sierra Pines, in early September, having purchased a nice, cozy one-story house, in a fairly quiet neighbourhood, in midtown Phoenix, on the near west side. Moving was accomplished over Labor Day weekend. By then, I had secured a job as a mathematics teacher, at a middle school, three blocks north of the house. I could walk to work. Penny still worked at El Mirage, but had moved into a Special Education position. Aram was a sophomore at Cortez, despite having moved out of its attendance area.

My choice of jobs was another bad move. Though I got along with most of the students, and both of my female co-teachers, relations with the Team Lead and with the administrators were not good. Their thinly-veiled disdain for my disabled wife made things that much worse.

One bright spot, though, was a 75th birthday celebration for my mother, who had never had a celebration in her honour, alone, in all my years, anyway.. Most of her surviving siblings were there, along with a few of my Dad’s siblings and the oldest of her grandchildren. We spent the next day in Boston, taking in some of her favourite sites, riding around on a “jump on and off” bus. We ended the weekend with a large gathering in her backyard, with all the grandchildren present. Family can be healing.