Category Archives: collaborating

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 24

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 14, 2026- Hana and I took her Daddy to retrieve his car, this afternoon. While the initial plan was for him to merely pick up the vehicle, there was an extended wait for his service adviser to come back from lunch, so Hana and I went into the waiting area of the Service Department, which was large, cool and very spare. I entertained Hana with a water bottle, which she held and felt its coolness and its rough exterior.

Just when she was getting frustrated at not being allowed to drink out of it, her Dad and the service adviser appeared. Plans had changed. He was getting some further work done on the car, and we went back to the house. Hana was a bit tired, so she napped in the car seat, which is still rear-facing.

She babbled a lot, in an animated cadence, throughout the day. When I changed her diaper, this evening, she started mimicking what she heard as my voice, saying, in a raspy voice: “Wow, that’s a lot.” Her bubbly personality is emerging, more and more, as the days progress. It is truly a joy to be here, doing this work.

HANA’S NOTE- I want to be able to drink from a bottle!

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1997- I failed at a few things, this year. My lingering shyness, lack of athletic ability and self-doubt led me to fall down, in meeting the needs of a group of troubled adolescent boys, who started out just wanting to have my support and friendship. I had no problems, as a counselor, working with younger children and with adolescent girls. Middle school boys were, for some reason, a different matter- especially when their hook was basketball.

The other rough spot, for me, was resolving petty disputes between adolescents. I thought this was something that they should be able to figure out among themselves. A parent disagreed, and complained that I was not meeting her son’s needs. I thought back to how I was raised, and had my answer: My own mother would not intervene in any disputes that we had with neighbour kids..

We went, as a family, to a Baha’i school in the Midwest, during the summer. Aram was sleepwalking, a couple of nights, and we were taken to task for this, by the Administrators. We were able to keep better watch on him, after the third night, so nothing bad happened during the rest of the camp. On the day we left, however, he went by himself to the playground, climbed up on a piece of equipment, and suffered a mishap, which resulted in us taking him to the ER. We assured the administrators of the school that we did not hold them responsible for what he did without permission. The rest of the journey was error-free.

This, though, was the last year of relative normalcy in our lives, for quite some time.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 23

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 13, 2026- Hana got a boost, this afternoon, from one of her physicians; Her functioning, in a key area, is showing stability. This particular area of health is measured every three months, until age 3. She is showing in the higher percentile, and is developing skills at a consistently high clip.

Hana listened very intently, at what the doctor was saying, perhaps storing information for later. She seems to know that certain things are more important than others. She has been very good about taking mid-morning medication, for example. She is also fastidious about beginning her mornings with exercise, even if she is on the changing table-which leads us to insist that she wait until the diaper is changed!

HANA’S NOTE- We drove a long way, in Papa’s car, to see a new doctor. The people at that hospital are very nice.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1996 Cracks started showing in our Jeddito life. Our next door neighbour died, during Spring Break, so we cut our southern Arizona jaunt short. The principal was fired, in mid-year and a School Psychologist took the reins, temporarily. Penny and a co-teacher had a program called Collaborative Literacy Intervention Plan (CLIP), which got results and kudos from the Governing Board.

My program went well, though there was some difficulty with the Superintendent, looking to find fault with our summer program, for no other reason than to have cause to eliminate it. The Board protected us, and despite some setbacks, such as a bus conking out, halfway up a hill on the way to Phoenix, we managed to get to several interesting places.

We went back East, as a family, for three weeks in July. A week was spent in Massachusetts and one week was spent in New Jersey. The rest was spent going to and from the Coast. We made the second of our visits to Bosch Baha’i School, in Santa Cruz, California, by taking a road trip. (The first was in 1994, by air.) Bosch is atop a high cliff, with breathtaking views of the ocean. We were there for a Spiritual Literacy conference. Afterwards, we drove down the Coast, getting our first views of Monterey, San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara-the last being towards sundown.

I would be seriously evaluating my continued effectiveness as a counselor, in the year to come.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 22

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

August 12, 2026- Hana played Hide and Seek with me, this afternoon. She hid behind a curtain, and I pretended to not know where she was. She thought it was great fun, and laughed for a minute or two, before coming out from behind the curtain. This evening, when her mother sang “Itsy Bitsy Spider” in an atonal manner, Hana groaned. She knows how the song is supposed to go. She does like her Mom’s singing Korean songs, and would probably groan if I tried singing those.

She took four steps this afternoon, with my support. Walking has thus become an intermediate goal, and will probably immediately follow standing, once she can do the latter for five or ten minutes, with support. She can stand for about 30 seconds without support, which is pretty good for a seven-month-old.

HANA’S NOTE- I like Hide and Seek. When I start walking, I will hide in places Papa can’t find me. I will probably give myself away, though, by giggling.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1995 This was a year that I put up a swing set, for Aram and his friends to use. The neighbour kids were also welcome to use it. One boy fell off and bruised himself. Knowing his mother, and her desire to handle her children’s problems herself, I sent him home, once it was clear that he wasn’t badly hurt. In the night, though, he and two other mischief makers came and wrecked the swing set. His mother re-reimbursed me for the damage, but we had to take the equipment down and haul it to the dump.

Aram had friends in the Hopi villages, who were coaxed into meanness towards him, by older men. One of those men ended up dying in a roll-over, a few weeks later. There was prejudice, and there was a lack of self-control. The kind people on both Reservations helped us cope and we continued to be invited to social dances.

Life continued to be mostly a positive experience.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 21

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 11, 2026- Hana is fully into practicing standing up, and is very clear about wanting me nearby, so she can hold onto me while boosting herself up. I am close by, anyway, to make sure she doesn’t have any hard falls. The play pen is high enough that there is no danger of her climbing over.

The bedtime struggles have started; essentially, she can be put in the crib at the same time, but it takes her longer to lie down and go to sleep. She has one teething ring and one plush toy in the crib, s she will fall asleep more from boredom than anything else-and I recommend to her parents that they go with that. Our girl is very active during the day. and needs her naps, so it will take her a bit more time at night, to wind down.

She is very good about telling me when she needs a diaper change and in reminding me that it’s her supper time, if her parents are running a little late in getting home from work. She likes most foods, but winces at the taste of stewed Roma tomatoes. Her favourites are the naturally sweet things, like carrots, apples and squash. She also likes salmon and chicken.

HANA’S NOTE- Papa had ice cream for dessert at lunch. I wish I could have ice cream!

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1994 I lost my youngest brother, Brian, in March. It will forever cast a shadow over St. Patrick’s Day, but he left us after blessing the family for nearly 29 years. He taught us love, forbearance, patience and the knowledge that there is value in every human life. All the lessons I absorbed, from watching my parents raise and safeguard him would become very valuable, in nine very short years.

Our summer started with Bellemont Baha’i Summer school, at the salubrious camp, fifteen miles west of Flagstaff. In the 1990s, we still had our meals prepared by a “chuckwagon crew”, three or four men who cooked everything over an outdoor cook stove. The program was well planned, with deepenings on both Baha’i history and the path to a more virtues-based society. Recreation was always vigorous. We provided both volleyball and badminton nets. Another staple was a youth trip to some Lava Tubes, northeast of Bellemont. Penny and I joined a group that climbed Kendrick Peak, an outlier of the San Francisco Peaks.

We made a trip eastward, including Aram’s first visit to the Baha’i House of Worship, in Wilmette, IL While we were praying silently, he snuck away and began to speak into the microphone. This earned him a sharp rebuke from the security guard. He later told me, “Daddy, I didn’t know Baha’is could be mean.” I told him there was difference between “mean” and strict, and that from now on, he needed to be quiet in the House of Worship.

Penny returned to work, in August, taking a second grade classroom. She lost no skills in her time away from teaching and her students were making great strides in the first semester, My counseling efforts benefited from the addition of a four-pronged program that the new Principal brought with her. She had been a counselor for several years, and I valued her recommendations, though her manner could be quite abrupt. The four prongs, Academic, Vocational, Social and Leisure. were able to be worked into my work with each class. I also was fully into the Red Ribbon program, which addressed substance abuse issues.

The Winter holidays meant a three-day Baha’i Winter school, at a hotel in Phoenix. A large group attended this, each year, with many dressed in their finest clothes. We were business casual, and enjoyed the gathering, nonetheless. Aram had a fairly good experience in the children’s classes, which focused on virtues. It was always pleasant in Phoenix, in December. New Year’s Eve always meant Penny’s parents’ anniversary, so we joined them in Prescott.

The decade had established a sweet routine.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 20

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 10, 2026- “Quack, quack” So said Hana to her rubber duck, as her parents were bathing her, this evening. She stores an incredible amount of information, that she has only heard once or twice. I guess we all do that. I have used phrases that are favoured by Millennials and Gen-Zers, without recalling exactly where I heard or read them, in the first place.

She spent most of our playtime practicing standing up. My granddaughter is very good about looking to me for help, and usually will hold out her hand, when she wants a boost. She is also good about pushing my hand away, when she wants to do this on her own. I’m glad to oblige, either way.

She is now able to go back to sleep, when something disturbs her nap, or evening slumber. A month or so ago, one of us would have to rock her back to sleep. Now, she can comfort herself, most of the time.

HANA’S NOTE- I know a couple of animal noises-the duck’s “Quack” “and the cat’s “Meow.” Papa makes those sounds when he reads about the animals.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1993 I was able to establish my boundaries with those I loved and with those who were beloved by those I loved. I was most concerned with setting boundaries for myself. Being counselor to 900 people and chief Child Protection Officer for a school district that stretched over 100 miles, left little room for error. I went up against the Chief of Staff of a large medical facility, some cross street neighbours and even my own Superintendent, in the course of bringing well-connected people to justice, on behalf of children. We won each time.

The social aspect of our time in Jeddito was what was most endearing. We attended social dances in each Hopi village, and at least two healing ceremonies in Navajo camps. We hosted a friend from Washington state, who had a unique view of the future. (It never came to pass.) We also welcomed a family from Oklahoma, who stayed with us for four days and a lone traveler from the Omaha Nation, who was with us for two weeks,

We were becoming more focused.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 19

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Entertainment, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 9, 2026-

The day “started” just after midnight, with several gunshots audible, across the alley. All four of us awoke to the noise. Hana was looking around but was being very quiet. Aram and I stood watch upstairs, and he called the Plano Police to report the n=sounds. It appeared that a cruiser came by later, but as we heard no further sounds and only saw a neighbour girl’s boyfriend dropping her off a bit later, then all lights in the nearby houses go out, we went back to bed.

Hana, Yunhee and I got up around 6:30. Aram slept in, then we enjoyed Yunhee’s chicken and waffles around 10. Hana expresses a wish that she could eat them, too. That day will come, but for now, it’s all puree. We do make it a point to have her sit in the high chair and have something at each meal. Lunch and dinner are the big meals for her.

I made a huge dent in the remaining pile in my storage unit, this afternoon. One more good load will empty the unit and save several more dollars each month. I can then start culling my excess items in earnest, once more.

HANA’S NOTE- I did not like those banging noises last night. Something told me to keep quiet and not cry. Mommy stayed with me, so that helped.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1992 We made the hard choice to not renew our visas, and so Penny and Aram flew back to Arizona in late January. They stayed with her parents, in the RV that they had driven across country, settling at a park in Prescott. I stayed behind, to complete my contract, taking seven of my freshman students on a circular field trip around Jeju. Their task was to prepare English-language mini-guides to each place we visited. After that was finished, I took a personal journey, mostly by bus, around the Korean mainland, starting in Kwangju and going up through Cheonju, Taejon and Seoul, then over to the east coast, including Soraksan and one last visit to the Demilitarized Zone, then down to Geongju, the ancient fortress town, with its impressive tumuli.

I flew out on March 1, having left a lot of camping equipment behind in Jeju. The University ended up giving it away to students. We had the bulk of our household put in a storage unit in Prescott, until we found a permanent place to live. I arrived “home” on March 2, and we settled into a residential motel. We stayed there for about five weeks, and during that time, I struggled with reconnecting to American life. There were a couple of auto-related mishaps, though neither involved other drivers and only one involved another vehicle. I was able to immediately get on board as a substitute teacher, in three school districts. Penny also did so, and we took turns staying with Aram. In April, we got a town house, in a nice neighbourhood on the west side of Prescott. Her Dad came and stayed with us for a week, while he made arrangements to fly his dog, Buddy, back to New Jersey.

In May, I was hired by Penny’s old boss in Keams Canyon, as school counselor at the newly opened Jeddito School. In August, we moved up to Keams Canyon, Aram entered pre-school, which was a half day. Penny had to go back to New Jersey for an operation, so Aram went with her for the two weeks. They also went back in November, for the Second Baha’i World Congress, which was held in New York City. I stayed behind and focused on my job of tending to the needs of 900 students.

By year’s end, I was finally regaining my equilibrium.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day18

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 8, 2026– Hana wished for only one thing: A chew toy, something that means a lot to a teething infant. We were at a Korean restaurant, enjoying things like Suntubu (Spiced tofu soup), Tonkasu (Pork cutlet) and Naengmyun (Cold buckwheat noodles, in soy sauce). Hana is not ready to eat any of this. Her meal waited at home, so she sat, just waiting with varying degrees of patience. I promised her that next time, with her parents rushing about and getting ready, I would make sure to bring her favourite teething ring of the week.

She had not had an easy afternoon. When I finally got her to nap on my shoulder, and had brought her into the master bedroom, to put her in the crib, the Robo Disc was in there, cleaning the carpet. I brought her back out to the recliner for ten minutes. The cleaner announced that it was done, so back in the bedroom we went, and I put her in the crib. Ten minutes later, the yard crew showed up, four hours late, and started their lawnmowers and leaf blowers. Hana’s Mommy and Daddy arrived back from their errands, about that time, and she was only too glad to get out of the crib, the Master Bedroom being bordered by the back and west yards.

HANA’S NOTE- I don’t know who felt worse, me being woken up by people speaking words I only hear when Papa says his last prayer, or Papa himself, trying to make sure I got my afternoon nap.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1991- Nothing reminds a person how much they love someone like finding their loved one in unexpected distress. Of a March afternoon, as I arrived home earlier than planned, I found Penny with her ear cut, babbling and on her knees, in the bathroom. Aram, not yet three years old, was in the empty bath tub, bawling his eyes out. I took him out first, dried and clothed him and set him on a sleeping mat. Then, I tended to Penny, bandaging her ear, and picking her up off the floor and carrying her into the bedroom, then dressing her, Just at that moment, almost like a TV movie, her Korean language tutor came to the front door. I had Penny seated and let the tutor in. She called an ambulance and then told the apartment complex manager what had happened. Between the three of us, we got Penny in a chair and I took Aram in my arms and comforted him.

Long story short, the ER doctor found that Penny had an allergic reaction to Ibuprofen. He stitched the ear up and by the time he was done, she was again lucid and able to walk. The three of us went to a noodle shop and had a bite to eat, then caught a bus to the University complex. The next morning, my back went out and I had to slowly walk down to the bus stop and go downtown to a chiropractor. This is what happens when one has to lift another adult, who is deadweight, from the floor. Penny never again took Ibuprofen, to say the least.

The rest of the year saw my classes go smoothly, and our Baha’i activities, with some ups and downs, reach dozens of students and young workers. We went back to the U.S. for a few weeks in June and July, enjoying the beach in Massachusetts and fireworks in Livingston, NJ. Aram liked playing with his somewhat older cousins.

In October, though, we started getting pleas from Penny’s parents to return to the United States, when our visas were up for renewal. They were heartsick at not having their only grandson closer to them. After praying long and hard, we decided we would return- in the new year.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 17

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 7, 2026- Hana has now taken to crawling on me and “wrestling”, while I am lying down on the play pen mat. Her main focus is still very much practicing standing up with my support. She also likes to take two or three steps, while I am helping her stand. The girl is not about wasting time.

The pest control guy came today, and sprayed all areas where it will not affect Hana. He also recommended putting a capful of bleach in each sink drain. This will, he said, destroy any pheromones which the insects leave for those who come after them. Yes, cockroaches are social insects. I have seen them travel in pairs. Now, hopefully, they will travel somewhere else.

I have a car seat for the KIA now, so my next visit to the chiropractor will be with Hana along. The office is family friendly, so having her in the stroller will not interfere with the adjustment, which takes five minutes, tops. I will also be able to take her to the library. She has a special affinity for books, and loves to study the pictures-and the print, for several minutes at a time.

HANA’S NOTE- When I see Papa lying down on the mat, that is a cue for me to crawl over to him and grab his nose and ears. He laughs when I do that.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1990 We were pretty much in a solid routine at Jeju. I would take Aram to student plays, but I’d have to take him out, because he would laugh or call out, once he heard an echo. Nonetheless, our family was well-liked by many people on the island. Aram loved being held by pretty women and was already playing with other toddlers in our compound. We went to the Korean mainland regularly, particularly for Baha’i gatherings. We also went hiking, up Halla-san and on Songsanilchubong, with Aram in a carrier on my back. The Korean slang for a man doing what was seen as women’s work is ujima. I was called that several times, but didn’t care. My boy was my treasure.

Classes were proceeding quite nicely. I also served as editor of The Islander, an English-language student newspaper. The staff wrote several well-researched articles, which I usually proofread in my office. Penny had a strict rule that no one was to intrude on our family time. This irritated some aggressive parents of students, who wanted private tutoring for their children. Again, I marched to my own drummer. I worked well with my colleagues, but on my terms. (i.e., I didn’t drink alcohol, to which the professors were accustomed, having had several Baha’is on staff, before me.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 16

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 6, 2026- Enormous cockroaches have shown up, around the neighbourhood, as the outside water dries up during August. We get “our share”-one here, another there, yet another in the dishwasher. If any of these pests comes anywhere near Hana, I will show it no mercy. These are “sewer” roaches, mind you, and our household’s standard of hygiene is second to none. Still, we adults can get exercised about any pests that threaten our girl’s health. Thankfully, the pest control technician is coming here tomorrow.

She “explored” a small area of the dining room. this afternoon, being able to climb up a small border between that room and the sunken family room, where her playpen and the recliner sit. I allow her limited crawling area, on carpet that has recently been cleaned. This way, she knows how to get around to different parts of the house, at eye level, should she ever need to do so, before learning to walk.

Yunhee was home during the morning, as she had a business call to be made from home. Hana kept a close eye on her, while she was in her office. I took her in the stroller, for part of that time, so as to give her mother more privacy.

HANA’S NOTE- I love being in the stroller. Today, I sang a little song that I made up, while we were out on our walk.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1989- This was big year for people in eastern Europr regaining their freedom. We were at a Baha’i Institute, in Busan, when the freedom wave came to Romania. Being partially of German descent, I felt relief when the Berlin Wall came down. Each time another segment of the Iron Curtain fell was another day of joy.

We brought Aram to Massachusetts and Maine, as well as New Jersey,during our summer visit to the U.S. He was warmly welcomed by all family and friends.When we spent a week at Green Acre Baha’i School, in Maine, his one curly hair, coming up from the middle of his head, earned him the sobriquet, “Sweepea”, after the orphan from Popeye. We celebrated his first birthday, with a party in my mother’s backyard. There, he got to meet most of his cousins. We joined a photography session, on the day of Penny’s cousin’s wedding, in Bedminster, then visited other friends in the area, while the wedding itself was in progress.

Penny had left her position at Jeju National University, to take care of Aram. She received a year’s salary as maternity leave, so that helped. I bonded more fully with the first group of students that had entered the program last year and continued making strong connections with those who entered each subsequent year.

The Eighties were bittersweet, but on balance, they set me in the right direction-something I had been seeking since 1969. The Nineties would see this straight path accelerate.

The Hana Chronicles:Month 7, Day 15

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

August 5, 2026- Hana’s Daddy was home for most of the day, as he had some personal business to complete, away from work. While we were in the playpen, and Aram was standing just outside it, Hana took his hand in hers, then took my thumb in her other hand. She is always thinking about inclusion, togetherness. Her happiest moments are when all four of us are together. She is ever joyful when one of us is playing with her in the pen.

Hana has established a reliable communication with me, when she needs a diaper change. I have passed this on to her parents. It is a precursor to what I see as a looming early toilet training. She is only 2-3 months away from walking with assistance, as well. This girl has things she wants to do in life, for sure.

HANA’S NOTE- I saw that Faddy was worried about the thing he was working on, so I gave him a big hug. He said that helped.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1988 It is said that when a man becomes a father, he begins to turn into his father. In July, our son, Aram, came into the world. I held him in my arms, 20 minutes after he was born, then held him up to the window and told him what a big and beautiful world he was now in. I named his middle name after my father, Ferdinand, Dad had been gone for two years, and I missed the guidance he would have given me, but I drew on what I remembered of all he had said and done, over the course of our thirty six years together. I would delight in many of the things Aram said and did, growing up and would correct him, in the way a given situation warranted. I would be ferocious in defending him, even from family members (only was needed once) and from my fellows in faith (maybe necessary a half dozen times, over the years.)

When Penny was six months pregnant, we went on a Baha’i teaching trip to Taiwan, spending two weeks there. We spent most of the time in a small central Taiwan town, Tsaotun. There, we met with university students late at night, repaired a brick walkway, promoted a large gathering that was organized by other Americans (no one showed up) and met with a few venerable Baha’i teachers. I would return there, along with another Baha’i from Korea, later that Fall, for a three-day conference.

For three weeks or so after Aram’s birth, we had help from Penny’s parents. Her Dad went with me to the U.S. Consulate in Busan, where we secured Aram’s American birth certificate and his passport. A well-meaning Korean Immigration officer, new to the job, had told me that the baby would be deported, unless his passport was completed post haste. His superior, overhearing that, corrected him, but cautioned that prompt action was in order. So, prompt action was taken.

Aram was only the second American child ever born on Jeju, and he was the first Caucasian child thus born, so he became a celebrity, fawned over by most of the people. That love made a place in his heart for the country and the people, which has had an outsized effect on his life. We would live three more years in Korea, but his heart remained there.