Category Archives: Spiritual

By Example

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 11, 2026- Some of what I have modeled for Hana has been physical-even crawling on my hands and knees, a little, so she can see what is involved, and reading words from left to right, pointing,as she follows each word, I also explain what I;m doing, step by step, no matter how simple the task.

She maintains focus, quite a bit more than one might expect a 4.5-month-old infant to keep attention. It seems to be a matter of storing information, either for use in a week or two, as with crawling or the sequence of letters, to recall and use as a toddler.

Funny thing about example: One never knows when little eyes and ears are picking up on what is being said or done. I had given up cursing long before Aram was born, as I just didn’t see any use for such talk, when other words met my needs just as well. He was quite assertive, in calling out what he thought was behaviour that was not in sync with words, especially in middle childhood.

I have a feeling that Hana will do the same. She already communicates quite well, with body language, eye contact and babbles that are fairly comprehensible as words. There is even a fair amount of intonation that give a sense of what she wants to convey.

Example is just the least one can do, to build character in those for whom one is responsible. It is crucial in child rearing-and just as much so, in positions of public responsibility. I had a high bar to maintain, and did, as a teacher, counselor and building principal-and even as a substitute teacher, in my last years of work. I didn’t always meet the expectations of the higher echelon or of the governing boards, but my standing with all but a few students, co-workers and parents was constantly stable.

Elected officials, likewise, would do a whole lot better to adhere to the highest standard of conduct. It’s been a while since that bar has been met, by all too many in public office. This has nothing to do with ideology. As we have seen, there are honest, trustworthy conservatives and progressives alike and there are the opposite, among both camps.

Bringing oneself to account each day seems to be the most effective counter to backsliding and it pays dividends, in terms of how one’s example is followed.

The Beauty of the Lilies

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 10, 2026- There was a plenitude of delicious, healthful food at DiMatte’s Mediterranean Buffet, as we celebrate Yunhee’s first Mother’s Day. Hana is still a bit unready for solid food, but she was happy about us going to a large, clean and relatively quiet eatery. She likes people, but doesn’t like excessive noise or heat, which unfortunately are features of many food courts. Besides, this is the first of two special days honouring her parents. Today, and Father’s Day, next month, are on me.

Hana’s understanding of such things is, of course not certain, but probably limited to knowing that her father and I made a fuss over her mother-so she was even more affectionate than usual, towards Yunhee. It was a fine, if low key day, and my daughter-in-law got to do what she likes best, tidying up the common rooms downstairs, and making a nicer play area for her little girl.

In November, 1861, Julia Ward Howe wrote “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”, to the tune of “John Brown’s Body”, as a means of lifting the spirits of those fighting for the Union cause in the American Civil War. After that conflict had ended, she was first impelled to organize the national observance of Mother’s Day, in 1867, Following the calamitous Franco-Prussian War, in 1870-71, Ms. Ward-Howe called for an international observance of Mother’s Day, in the hopes of generating a global movement of women for peace. The opening lines of the fifth verse of the anthem are intended to sanctify the giving of lives: “In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me.
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,[16]
While God is marching on.” It seldom has worked out that way.

Mothers have never, in their hearts of hearts, desired to see their children slaughtered for the sake of someone else’s agenda. Patriotism mitigates the expression of anti-war sentiments, when it is understood that liberty is threatened by an aggressive enemy, but I recall my mother’s grief when I told her I was headed to Viet Nam, in 1971. I told her at the last minute, as she and my father were saying goodbye at the airport. In the ten months I was there, I handled accountable mail and helped unload bulk mail trucks, but I never faced any real danger from the Viet Cong. There were too many, including two childhood friends, who were not so lucky.

As I write this, the cover page on my laptop shows a setting Sun, still casting an amber glow in the surrounding sky and on the ocean below. I get an odd comfort from this, and feel the strength and love of my mother, my late wife and all my female friends and relatives who have passed on I feel the ongoing love of those nurturing women who are still very much alive-and who tend to the children, animals and the sick who are in their care,

In whatever capacity you nurture, I hope your Mother’s Day has brought honour and solace.

Magical Thinking

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Fiction, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 7, 2026- Hana pushes herself to reach certain places on her crawling mat, but was showing a bit of frustration at being limited to the same route, day after day. It was time for another segment, so down went the multi-modal quilt, with its alphabet, colour bar, shapes and illustrations of animals and objects. This doubled the area that she has to navigate, and she took to it right away.

My granddaughter had been acting as if she should be able to go through walls or pieces of furniture, getting frustrated at this also, so Papa has the task of gently encouraging her to turn, when confronted with a barrier. I even showed her that my almighty self can’t go through a wall, which she found amusing, while getting the point.

Many of the old stories I am reading her now, European fairy tales, present magical solutions to harrowing scenes. I choose to focus more on the character-building elements that are embedded in the tales, rather than the amazing feats of derring do. It only touches a slight level of her consciousness, of course, but I can recall, from my own toddlerhood, having a sense that I had heard stories that pointed the way to correctness, even earlier in my life. So, we go down this path together, She will retain what sticks in her mind and re-learn the rest later.

Much magical thinking comes from being used to having certain things happen almost instantaneously- like fast food being prepared and served in minutes, or AI popping up with answers to questions, in mere seconds. Another friend, examining the matter, points out that experiencing something, even several times, does not mean that it will be integrated with one’s psyche or behavioural repertoire. “I spent a week in Sweden” hardly qualifies me to claim any more than cursory knowledge of the country and its people. “I changed the spark plugs in my Ford LTD, back in 1975”, does not make me anywhere near a skilled auto mechanic. It is integration, not encountering, that determines the level of any change one wishes to see in life.

There is also a larger process at work, sometimes called “the arc of history” and in other forums, “the Major Plan of God”. We on the ground can only understand a smidgen of it, but here’s the thing: Just as a motor vehicle can go either forward or in reverse, it moves most efficiently forward. Reverse is meant only for short distances, like backing out of a parking space, or going a few yards back to where a loved one is waiting to communicate a last-minute thought. Going backwards in society can only be temporary, mostly to correct errors made in moving ahead too quickly. It cannot be done with a view towards reinstating the “Golden Days of Yesteryear”.

I will have more to say about this in an upcoming post.

Limits of Responsibility

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Posted by on in children, Community, Family, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 4, 2026- I watched a video, this evening, in which several grown men and women openly advocated the killing of children who belong to an ethnic group with whom these “adults” are at odds. Their rationale was either, “They’ll just grow up to oppress us” or “Nobody protected me, when I was a child.” I felt nauseated, just as I was sickened by all the venom expressed when Black children were being killed in the 1960s and again in this decade; when Hispanic children have been rounded up, regardless of citizenship status, in the last ten years.

Know who slaughters their young? Scorpions. We humans pride ourselves on the safeguarding of children. By and large, we do a credible job of seeing our young through to adulthood. A growing awareness of, and willingness to confront, pedophile networks and individuals, will gradually bring those twisted criminals to justice-regardless of their social rank. The mindless attacks on children, in areas where civil conflict is being stoked by their countries’ leaders, needs to be called out, openly and without regard for grievances between adults. Children are not responsible, ever, for the differences between those old enough to face the consequences of their actions. Nor are today’s children responsible for what happened in the 1960s or 1970s to those who make them the targets of revenge.

I know, now and as long as I am of sound mind and body, that my grandchild(ren), extended family and any friends who may be with them will not be harmed by any adult (or adolescent, for that matter) without consequence to the perpetrator. Adults are responsible for children, not the other way around. It is time those who don’t understand this, learn it-and internalize it.

His Declaration

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 29, 2026- On the ninth day after His and His family’s arrival in the Garden of Ridvan, Baha’ullah summoned His eldest son, Abbas*, into His tent. There, He announced to His son that He was the Promised One, mentioned by His immediate Predecessor, Ali Muhammad, known to posterity as al-Bab (“The Gate”). Baha’ullah would make the same announcement to four other people, later that same evening, under a promise of confidentiality. This was due to the tight surveillance imposed by their Ottoman overseers and to the presence of operatives of the Persian Qajar Dynasty, which had initiated the exile of Baha’ullah and His family from Teheran, some ten years previous.

Baha’ullah, like the Great Teachers Who came before Him, intended His Teachings to redound to the benefit of all humankind. Coming as He did on the cusp of global connectivity and accelerated communication technology, His words can have an enormous impact-for the betterment of the world. Indeed, studied carefully, without coercion, the Teachings of Baha’ullah can lead to a greater understanding of the forces of change that have been extant in the world since the middle of the 19th Century and which are accelerating today, even as many of the institutions that have underpinned both Western and Eastern civilizations,for nearly 500 years, are fading away.

It is a given, that when one system draws to an end, another rises to take its place. This does not have to be frightening or debilitating. Rather, careful study of Scriptures, both past and contemporary, can offer solace that the Age in which we live is a period of birthing. There is no one who needs to be left out or excluded, in the civilization that is slowly rising, even as many time-honoured institutions are falling away.

Take your time with understanding all of this, and hang on-the world needs you.

  • Known to posterity as ‘Abdu’l-Baha

Widowhood

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Posted by on in Social, distraction issues, Spiritual, Personal Values, Striving, Community

April 28, 2026- A tempest in a teapot has been swirling around, the past few days, over a joke made in questionable taste, by a prominent comedian, about the marital status of a prominent couple. To a thankfully small extent, this matter has distracted a few people from far more pressing issues.

I don’t know how much Jimmy Kimmel knows about the loss of a spouse. I don’t know the particulars of the Trump household. Beyond a general concern for the well-being of fellow humans, I don’t particularly care to know about any of it.

I have been widowed for 15 years. I have male friends who have also been widowed for several years, and a woman, for whom I care deeply, who has been without her husband, for nearly as long as I’ve been without my wife. Another good female friend just lost the love of her life. None of us are likely to be appreciative of jokes about the subject. Loss is loss, and it involves a fair amount of pain.

We live in a society where, in the name of freedom of speech, no subject is too sacred for lampooning. Yet, here’s the thing: My son has a water glass that has this inscription: “Freedom of speech is not a license to be stupid.” Much of the back and forth, between certain public figures, makes about as much sense as the rock and acorn fights that took place when I was a kid. We at least had immaturity as an excuse.

Well-Tended

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 27, 2026- My four-month dental check-up and cleaning, by a new provider, touched all the bases that the team at Desert Dental, in Phoenix, did for thirteen years. New Bite is our family’s dental care provider, so I helped Aram get a small sign-up bonus, and I get one as well. The practice is state-of-the art, checking sinuses and thyroid, as well as teeth, tongue, gums and jaws. I will be well-tended.

Hana had her four-month physical this morning and is on track in all her growth areas. This morning, she greeted me with “Hi” and when I asked her if she had a good sleep, she answered “Yeah”. It happened that she slept through the night, so things are going well, for her and for Mom and Dad.

The house is far more comfortable now, then it was last week, before the HVAC work. There is still a little left to straighten out, here and there, but we should be in good shape for the height of summer. The three of us share every task pretty much equally. Whoever comes upon something that needs doing, does it first. I even whipped up some pancakes, yesterday morning, like my Dad used to do on Sundays. Yunhee covered the lettuce bed with a “critter proof” mesh, so the rabbits will take what is theirs and leave our greens alone.

The country can be well-tended, if people work together. A few days ago, the governing body of the Baha’i Faith in the United States, our National Spiritual Assembly, put forth a reasonable call to action. I leave you with a link to this document, in the hopes that it might inspire some to take concerted action of their own, for the good of the nation-and of the planet.

https://www.acommonendeavor.org/

The Knowing

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 26, 2026- Virginia Roberts Giuffre died a year ago today. In that year, halting progress has been made in finding justice for her, and the thousands of other victims in the Epstein Network. There is a long way to go. In that year, justice was found for Gisele Pelicot, as 51 males were found guilty of raping her, while she was drugged by her then husband. In that year, CNN brought a “mainstream” website to light-it being openly called “Motherless.com-Rape Academy”, viewed over 62,000,000 times. In that year, serial abusers from across the political spectrum were called out-even one, Cesar Chavez, who is long dead.

I have shared a Substack post about the meaning of the term, “motherless”, on Facebook, and can only hope it gets read and taken seriously. I was raised by an exemplary mother. The idea of denigrating her infuriates me. I would have done anything she asked, even though I was a difficult child at times. My son was raised by an exemplary mother. He treasures her memory to this day, even though he was a difficult child at times.

I don’t know many openly misogynistic men, but many men I do know have areas in which to grow-as do I. Suffice it to say, those who hate women also harbour self-loathing. Many tell themselves otherwise, weaving fantasies of greatness and irresistability. They project themselves as monumental figures, as men of consequence, legends in their own time.

I once was deep among them, always wondering why I had no success in finding a mate. When I did find a woman to love, it was only because I had begun to rein myself in, take stock of my behaviour and put sexuality in its place-not as the be-all of life but as one aspect of a committed relationship. My wife initiated the process of my maturation. It took until she passed on, for that maturation to fully take root.

All those who viewed “Rape Academy”, and took its misguided message to heart, are only fooling themselves, damaging their own lives and those of any women hapless enough to become their victims. Humans, our animal form aside, are primarily spiritual beings. What one does to another person, to another sentient being, even to another life form, affects the spirit. It is not a matter of Heaven or Hell, but a matter of behaviour and consequence. Some of those men who have been publicly exposed as rapists and abusers have also done good, even great, acts for the betterment of humanity. Yet, in the end, Christ’s admonition-“Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, that you do unto Me”- refers as much to the harm we do others as it does to what we do that is of help.

The physical, however enticing and pleasurable it may be, is as nothing in the eternal realm. Power, the driving force behind most rape, does not carry over into the next world, but the lessons one must learn in this life are put off by the reckless pursuit of power-and must be learned, with considerably more difficulty, in the next.

Growth can come only with the Knowing, and its practical application to life.

Snapped

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 19, 2026- The news about a man killing seven of his children, and one of their friends, hit hard. It happened in Shreveport, 2 hours and 49 minutes from here. There are a thousand reasons why anyone would be prompted to kill his/her own offspring-and none of those reasons are good. There is speculation that the suspect, himself now dead, just snapped. There are survivors of the day’s events, and maybe they will shed some light on what led to the slaughter. It will pulsate for a long time.

Life, especially when stress levels are not addressed, preferably by family members who have cache with the suffering one, can be overwhelming. In my extended family, interventions have been timely and effective-in saving marriages, mentoring wayward teens and young adults and, in one case, saving a life. My parents had cache on both sides of the family, and were not shy about stepping up to help, when they saw a problem.

I had a dream last night, that Hana had been spanked for crying-not by her parents, and certainly not by me, but by another family member, indeterminate. In the dream, I was yelling at the punisher, who just shrugged their shoulders and said that’s how it is here. To be sure, in real life, none of the three of us are inclined to use corporal punishment, for any reason. Certainly, an infant would be kept safe from such a thing, especially for self-expression. Once she reaches toddler stage, her parents vow to be firm, saying and meaning “No”, when necessary, while still acknowledging her feelings and offering some limited, acceptable alternatives. The same will continue throughout her childhood and adolescence. I will support them in their efforts.

Eight tender souls, their lives snuffed out, as someone on whom they should have relied turned on them and became their executioner. It could be laid at the feet of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, on our culture of anonymity, on the shifting sands of spiritual connection, or lack thereof. It is always a wake-up call-and how many of these will be needed, before each community takes stock of its members?

What I’ve Done Lately

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 18, 2026- The out-of-the-blue critic questioned whether I have done anything “today” for women and girls. I answered. matter-of-factly, because when someone addresses me by name, my idea of courtesy is to acknowledge what seems to be their concern. My career, protecting and educating children and teenagers aside, what I am doing NOW is to help raise a little girl to be forthright, to articulate and follow her dreams and to grow into a woman of character and strength-like her mother and maternal grandmother, like her paternal grandmother, like her great grandmothers,

That will likely mean little to the ideologue who spent too much time worrying about what a man she’s never met-and is unlikely to ever encounter-does to help womankind. Actions are never enough for someone whose anger, mindset, life experiences create a blindness that would take years of counterbalancing to relieve.

So, I consider the comment that I made, on a longtime friend’s site, about narcissists not having anyone to blame but themselves, for whatever lack of success they may have in finding a mate. Even after pondering the critic’s remarks, I hold fast to that conviction-and do not regard it as making excuses for anyone’s bad behaviour. Narcissism is a condition, not a dodge; just as, for me, autism is a condition, but does not give me a free pass to conduct myself in an untoward manner.

I will carry on, tomorrow, and for years to come, helping my granddaughter embrace life to the fullest. I will stand beside, and help, other women and girls, whenever time allows and in the manner that they request. I will address statements and actions stemming from misogyny, to the best of my ability. I will not, however, be a slave to the loudest voices in the room. One size does not fit all, and mere ideology fits few, if any.