Category Archives: impediments

The Hana Chronicles: Month 6, Day 1

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Posted by on in children, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 22, 2026- “I don’t WANT it!” With two bites left of pureed beef, my granddaughter said she was not happy with the fare. She tried to take off her bib and wanted out of the high chair. I told her it was okay and we would go to the bottle feeding, which follows the solid food. I took the bib off, cleaned her face and took her out of the chair.

Hana is too much of a Clean Plate Club member to refuse food without cause; so when her parents got home, we discussed the matter and determined that heating up the beef at the same time I defrosted a cube of rice was a bad idea. They will be prepared separately, going forward. Hana is likely to be okay with the meal, tomorrow.

I encourage her to be discerning, but outspoken, when something seems wrong. A reasonable adult will hear the child out and either explain why something is so or make the effort to correct anything that is amiss. Sometimes, fatigue will set in, and she won’t know what she wants, so it’s nap time. She knows that Papa’s-and her parents’- response to her bad mood is to check the diaper first, then determine if she needs a feeding, then put her in the crib. She was more than happy to lie down for a rest, three times today-and still went to bed at 7:30 p.m.

She likes to share her ‘sphere inside a cube’ toy with me, so I shake the cube and bounce it off the playpen mat, with a moderate amount of gusto. She is delighted that I play this with her for ten or fifteen minutes. Then she goes on to something else, just periodically checking over her shoulder, to make sure I am still there. I leave my cloth slippers outside the playpen. As I was sitting in a recliner, with the slippers just outside the open playpen gate, Hana took a cloth that was sitting on the pen floor, and started to wipe my slippers. I don’t know where she got that from, but it is just another small thing that endears her to us.

My father passed away, forty years ago today. He would have been over the moon with this little girl.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 25

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 15,2026– It was a relatively cool day today, and Hana did not need to be shielded from the sun, but I put her sun visor atop her head anyway. We had a nice walk along the west spur of Chester Drive, and back. I will walk again, solo, after writing this post. It’s a pleasant evening.

Several writers have recently spoken of what makes them feel at home. The term “emotional home” was used in one such post, written by someone who has lived in three different countries, for an extended period of time. He sees each of them as an emotional home, for different reasons.

I have lived in several communities, 18, in fact-mostly in the Unites States, but also in Viet Nam and South Korea. I have only been in one place I positively loathed. All other places had saving graces-even when the job I held was not all that wonderful.

Were I to think of emotional homes, I am more inclined to conjure up regions, with some special places within them, that secure my sense of well-being. Here are five such areas:

New England- Here, I was born, grew to a semblance of maturity and became immersed in the love of forest and ocean. Massachusetts and Maine are my primary emotional homes, within the region. It was always to Saugus and the North Shore that I went, when it was time to be with family. There are places, some no longer as they were when I frequented them and some that will never change all that much. It is along the rocky shore that I feel most at home there: Nahant, anywhere on Cape Ann, Marginal Way, Green Acre, Boothbay Harbor,Mount Desert Island, There are forested, mountainous areas that bring a sense of my ancestors’ presence: Breakheart, Blue Hills, Mount Katahdin, the Berkshires,the environs of Jackman. No mention of the region can leave out New Hampshire: Hampton Beach, Portsmouth, Lake Winnepesaukee, Franconia Notch. New England is my emotional tap root.

The Southwest- California to Texas, north to Colorado and Nevada. My sense of well-being was cemented in the vast expanses of desert, mountain, beach towns and rolling prairie. Here I became focused, found true love and strong Faith, bid farewell to my first and most faithful darling and have greeted her namesake. Here, I became truly affirmed. Arizona was the center piece, bringing me into the worlds of the Dineh and the Hopi, the campesinos and the cowboys, the self-reliant and the co-operative. The mountains and canyons always brought solace, even when they also brought challenge: Prescott, Williams,Flagstaff, Bisbee, Kayenta, Superior, Globe, Chinle- all were welcoming and surrounded by soothing Nature. Five trips down to the river and back, in the courses of single days, drove home the majesty of the Grand Canyon. Black Canyon and Prescott Circle, Canyon de Chelly, Monument Valley, Boyce Thompson, the Bisbee Staircase Challenge, Lockett Meadow, Mount Humphreys, Mount Elden, Bellemont- these were my tonics. Across the region, San Diego,the OC beaches, Carson City, Glenwood Springs, Santa Fe, Manitou Springs, Amarillo/Palo Duro Canyon and the little towns of the Northwest Passage to DFW Metroplex are the stars along the galactic path. Plano is my anchor now, linking all that is sacred from my past with the still bright promise of years to come.

East Asia- South Korea and the Philippines, nearly two thousand miles apart, with Taiwan and Hong Kong as intermediaries, brought both the smoothing of my rough edges and a sense that I was worth a lot more than I had previously realized. I began to take stock of myself, and value professionalism, in Korea. I learned to again truly treasure human companionship, on three visits to Manila and beyond. Jeju will always be the northwestward-pointing branch and Makati, the southwestern. In Korea, I was brought into the wider family of humankind. In Manila, I was reminded that I still have the capacity to love a woman fully. Though time and circumstance have kept us apart, there will never be a time when I don’t treasure her for all she is.

Canada– The opposite ends of this vast nation are two points of my North Star. Nova Scotia and Newfoundland also helped me smooth some remaining rough edges, and re-orient my thinking, so that reaching goals previously thought unreachable became mind over matter. Vancouver Island and the Sunshine Coast reinforced those notions. Montreal, even in an occasion of severe mental tests, is the soul center, the heart of this North Star. On both coasts of Canada, my main connection was with First Nations people, and I was brought home to my own Abenaki roots, again and again.

Europe– Family of long ago flashed before me. Friends, long kept in abeyance, became real again. Suffering, in opposite areas of the central heartland, (Auschwitz-Birkenau and Srebrenica) was shown to me, in graphic detail, decades after the unspeakable horrors had transpired. Kindness, basic decency, were everywhere along the way-from Iceland, through Sweden, and on a winding path to Croatia and Bosnia-Hercegovina, thence on another winding path to the British Isles. There was the expectation that I show common sense and not expect any favours. I found that refreshing and rewarding. In Nynashamn, Split, Sarajevo, Salzburg, Vienna, Heidelberg, Fishguard, Wexford, Edinburgh and Findhorn, I felt like I was among family. Europe is the Conscience Beam of my heart house.

There are friends in all these places. I still hear from some. Others, i may not see or hear from until we meet in the Light. Neither they, nor the emotional strength I derived from our friendships, will be cast aside. I hope to acquaint Hana-and any siblings she may yet have, with some of these Emotional Homes, and places that lie between them. We walk in Beauty.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 23

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

June 13, 2026– My most treasured little girl is asleep in her crib, as I sit her in my office space, watching her on the monitor. Her mother is out grocery shopping and her father is at Monthly Drill. I am in my element. Caring for this delightful child is almost a capstone.

While Hana and Yunhee hosted a friend from DHL and her 9-year-old daughter, I headed over to Plano’s Red Cross Donation Center and played host to about twenty blood donors. I also trained a 16-year-old high school Senior, who wants to study medicine. She will be a fine volunteer, probably mostly doing weekends, as I am. The need for such hosts, though, is pretty light during the summer months, as those senior citizens who are occupied with Substitute Teaching during the school year-as well as University students on break, tend to take the slots as soon as they open-fine by me, as it gives me weekends with family.

I watched a few more Dhar Mann videos, in between registrations. One, which was particularly interesting, was a bit dystopian. Eugenicists had taken over California, and had instituted a “culling” program, involving a standardized test. The son of the eugenicist Governor teamed with a student activist, and turned his father, and his school’s Headmaster, in to Federal authorities, just as they were about to initiate culling. Of course, this was another ‘feel good” story, with a last-minute happy ending, but it got me thinking. We always have a path to resist and overcome misfortune-and it is usually one that involves informed and diligent group action. That last-minute turn of events was preceded by a lot of research and documentation on the part of the students and one adult investigative reporter. So it may be with various challenges our society faces.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 21

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

June 11, 2026- While Hana napped, this morning, I called my second brother, on the occasion of his birthday, He has lived an extraordinary life, learning skills needed to navigate daily life, whilst legally, then virtually blind. He worked as head of Kayem Meats’ financial division, until his retirement a few years ago. He took part in Sail Blind, in the 2010s, and I had the honour of sitting in an observation boat, for one of their sails, off Newport, RI, in 2013. His sons are doing well in life, and his grandchildren are navigating life’s challenges to the best of their abilities. I have seen him as a role model, more than once, in my own checkered career.

Hana continues to show signs of which direction she may follow, in the years ahead. She is into neatness, wiping her mouth with a bib or cloth after every other bite. She is also working on self reliance-holding her own spoon and steadying her bottle with both hands-though I continue to “assist” in guiding both.. She likes to hold books and studies each page carefully, for several minutes. She does not want me to flip the pages too quickly.

While she was napping, this afternoon, she seemed to have had a nightmare, shrieking several times. I was able to calmly talk to her and held her to convey that everything was alright, and that it was just a bad dream. It took a while, maybe seven or eight minutes, before she finally stopped whimpering. It’s always hard to know what a pre-lingual person dreams about, but whatever it was must have been a doozy. I’m just glad to be here for her, in happy moments and in scary ones.

“A Space of Quiet Promise”

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 28, 2026- I am now halfway through my diamond year. Much has changed, since my 75th birthday, and much, at least inside me, has remained the same.

I have left a mountain community, with many acts of service in the course of a week. There was also much in the way of natural beauty, in which I could become refreshed, even at the risk of encountering an apex predator. I left a solid community of friends, of all Faiths, though a good many of my interactions were with my fellow Baha’is; Friends were also from all points on the political spectrum; as apt to be women as men; many were older than 60, and many were younger. I finally mastered the art of teaching, just in time to retire.

I came to a place of quiet promise. (The phrase is borrowed from blogger Cynthia Ward’s essay, “Who I Used To Be”.)* I left a one-bedroom apartment and came into a two-story house, with three bedrooms and two offices that could convert to bedrooms. The kitchen and living room, alone, are the size of what I left behind. I came to live with family, as an active contributor, rather than as a dependent. My educational skills now go towards the development of my infant granddaughter. My Red Cross volunteering is strictly on weekends, and my Baha’i activities are on evenings and weekends. I have not changed my American Legion post, as yet. There is no activity at the nearest post, save gatherings centered on drinking and smoking, neither of which interest me, nor would they suit my coming home to a nursing mother and a little girl. As time goes on, Slow Food Dallas-Fort Worth could draw me into its activities.

Health-wise, I have found a fine, competent VA doctor, dentist and chiropractor. I go to a Planet Fitness, about ten minutes from here. There are plenty of parks nearby and several safe neighbourhoods in which to walk, day or night. I can still do a plank for 1 1/2-2 minutes. I can still walk 3-5 miles. (It’s mostly flat here, but the humidity makes up for the lack of elevation changes).

I have several bounties here: A loving son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter; a large and supportive Baha’i community; a quiet neighbourhood connected with the outside world by well-ordered streets and roads; and, for the next few months at least, a reliable supply network for what we need. This house, this community, are places of quiet promise.

  • “Who I Used to Be”, Still Amazed, Cynthia Ward May 25,2026

The Hana Chronicles: Month 5, Day 3

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 24,2026- Hana began her transition to solid food in earnest today, A simple meal of rice porridge accompanied her liquid feedings. She was quite happy about this, and recognizes, on some level, that this puts her on the path to being a bigger child. Food items, pureed of course, will be added gradually, one food at a time, according to a nutritionist’s plan that her mother has adopted.

My granddaughter is generally a cheerful little girl, who laughs easily. She also has a serious side and when she is crawling towards something, she does not like being distracted. She puts her attention on doing a certain task-usually on pressing buttons on an educational toy, to elicit a spoken instruction or a little song, to the tune of which she will kick her legs, even while lying prone. She carefully lifts up a section of her crawling mat, to see what is underneath and examines the tags on a quilt or other fabric.

I want to help her build on both of these aspects of herself-the gregarious and mirthful, as well as the purposeful and focused. All three of us read to her, show her the pictures in the books and have her turn the pages, as much as she is willing to. If she wants to linger on a certain page and absorb the illustrations, that’s okay, too.

There is no day off, or holiday, in raising an infant or toddler. At the same time, it is a labour of joy. A solid human being is in the works. The days fly by; with the sameness of each day’s schedule intertwined with the growth that each new day brings. It’s said that this will all “be over” too soon. Maybe so, but in the interim, I will savour every step forward and every inch grown taller.

Loyalty

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 20,2026- My granddaughter kissed me on the shoulder, when I picked her up from the crib, after her first nap, this morning. She will roll over to get next to me, when I lower myself to her crawling area. She holds onto my shirt, when I am rocking her, at the end of a play period. A baby is motivated by survival instinct, and gravitates to the person(s) who show her/him the most consistent positive attention. That is the beginning of loyalty.

My own loyalties are very specifically ordered: Family, Faith, Friends, Humanity, Planet Earth. I am loyal to government when it treats the common people with love and respect. My loyalty to the Human Race requires standing up, when there is a widespread disregard for dignity and worth-no matter the source of that disdain. Furthermore, I see no conflict between standing up for my family and standing up for the planet. My family’s survival needs a healthy environment. I don’t want my granddaughter, or anyone else, ingesting a host of microplastics or breathing in Diesel fumes, generated by someone who is angry at Elon Musk, or at the environmental movement.

I am loyal to the Baha’i Faith. That also means that I show reverence and respect towards all creeds that are based on the Golden Mean. All knowledge comes from the Divine, else it is contrived, and is not true knowledge at all. We have never been left alone, nor will we ever be.

I am loyal to my friends, no matter how long it has been since we’ve seen one another or how often we may communicate. Many are overwhelmed by life and have both my daily blessings and constant thought. My loyalty should never be measured by how much money I spend on a person. I have a few in my circle, who are transactional. The only time I hear from them is when they are short on cash. I occasionally help one family with the basics, but generally speaking, I prefer my charity to be that which helps larger groups of people.

My loyalty to Humanity reflects a conviction that “all means all.” I don’t make a distinction between “rightwingers” and “leftwingers”, Christians and Muslims, citizens of one country as opposed to those of another. My only guidepost is to be discerning, as to the basic human rights of a given person. Even a tyrant has inherent dignity. If he/she chooses to squander that dignity, that is not a choice made by me. I will not harm anyone, but neither will I allow them to harm me or anyone close to me.

My loyalty to Earth lies in being as responsible a steward of what is in front of me and of the planet as a whole. Minimal trash, maximum recycling, regular maintenance and proper use of my motor vehicle, respect and kindness towards all life forms, to the greatest extent possible, conservation of resources-all these add up, when practiced regularly.

Loyalty begins with self-respect and is reflected outwards.

Worlds Within A World, Part V

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 18, 2026- Mom once said, a boy becomes a man at forty. In my case, it was more like sixty-five.

As my son left for Navy Basic Training, at Great Lakes, north of Chicago, I determined that I would set out for parts unknown. I found that I had a flat tire, so that impulse faded and I went back to the Phoenix house. Two weeks later, I packed what I needed and drove to the family house in Prescott. I spent a few days, then went back and gave away five extended cab pickup loads to Goodwill. My auto body mechanic, Bill, all 6’9″ of him, hauled the stuff away, for $300 and my rocking chair. I loaded a few more boxes with me to take to Prescott, but before I closed up the Phoenix house and drove off, the place had one last hook to sink into me: When I turned off the washing machine faucets, the cold water valve broke. I managed to get to the shutoff bib, before too much water had leaked, but there was drywall that needed replacing, as well as the valve. I bartered with my landscaper, who lived down the street and was willing to do the work: The washer and dryer, a freezer and $200 worth of tools. I left the house keys with him and drove on up to Prescott.

Prescott world (2011-25) was the longest I lived in any one town since Saugus. I would go back and forth to Phoenix, until the sale closed, in 2013, but how I recovered and where, was all on me. I took to the road, a fair number of times, going back to the East Coast at least once a year, often twice. California, Nevada and the Pacific Northwest became regular haunts. I managed to re-visit every state, except Montana and North Dakota, plus several parts of Canada. The Philippines nearly became a second home, and I returned to South Korea for the wedding of Aram and Yunhee. I made it to Europe twice, visiting sixteen countries. Any one of those places could feel like home, and there were parts that did. Prescott, and Arizona, were always a delight to which to return. I devoted myself to hikes, both long and short, as well as soaking up the history of the Grand Canyon State.

Community service filled my days: Paid service in the form of substitute teaching and sweat equity, in Baha’i activities, at the Farmers Market, the Red Cross, Solid Rock’s soup kitchen, various events held by Slow Food- Prescott and a few activities of the American Legion. I paid back all the kindness that the town and surrounding area had shown us in 1992 and 2000-01. Most important, though, was that I regained the self-respect that had been bled from me, during the long period in the desert. I stood up to grifters and thugs, at least five times, during my time in Prescott, acquiring more stamina in the process.

I bid farewell to my mother, both of my in-laws and a fair number of extended family and friends, during this time. Each one gone, though, just made a place in my heart-so that it got bigger. I fell in love again, and might have even sought to re-marry, but for the birth of my beloved granddaughter. This event put an end to Prescott world and opened yet another phase. Plano world began on New Year’s Day.

Worlds Within A World, Part IV

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

May 17, 2026- In January, 1998, Penny fell over her parents’ service dog, who was sleeping by our door, at the family home in Prescott. The resulting head trauma seemed slight, but we consulted a physician in Flagstaff, who treated her and monitored the situation. We had five more fairly good years, thereafter.

I learned three things from Chilchinbeto: Good-hearted people stand by one who keeps their best interests top of mind; those interested mainly in power and control have little concern for those best interests; troubled people need more time for their issues to be addressed, than is frequently allotted. My time there ended in May, 1999. Five other people succeeded me as Principal of that Community School, in a span of six years. The fifth person finally managed to stay more than a year, and achieved what I had planned to do in a second year. She did this in 2005. Sometimes, even the basic and the obvious must wait for the mud to settle and for the clouds to pass.

The Low Desert world (1999-2011) took us to Salome, where a former mentor was Superintendent of Schools, and needed an Acting Principal to serve one year, until a local favourite could get his certificate. That man was Assistant Principal, while I was there. Penny was the Special Education Teacher. My strength was in building a network, across the sprawling expanse of desert communities, visiting each of the feeder elementary schools once a quarter and meeting with the parents and community leaders, in each of the seven towns and villages within the District, once a semester. Advocating for the students and teachers also proved fairly successful.

We left Salome after a year. I got a Principalship at a school for adjudicated girls, outside Prescott and we lived there and in Mesa, outside Phoenix, during the 2000-01 academic year. I left that position after only seven months, due to physical and emotional exhaustion. It was at that point that I decided to focus mainly on substitute teaching and being available to go to Mesa, while Penny was enrolled in classes in technology, which she saw as being a major thrust in the economy in the years ahead.

In August, 2001, we took an apartment in Phoenix, Penny went to work full time in the Dysart Unified School District and I worked at two different schools in Phoenix, as well as doing part time work for an inventory service. The attacks on New York and the Pentagon foreshadowed what was ahead for us, and in April, 2003, two further incidents of head trauma started my wife’s physical decline in earnest. I was her caretaker from then until her passing in March, 2011. During that time, life went on, to the best of our collective ability. She worked until February, 2007, earned her third Master’s Degree-this one in Educational Technology. Our son graduated high school in 2006, tried his hand at community college study, but was mostly focused on his mother.

We purchased a home, shortly after Penny’s third fall, in May, 2003 and got off to a fairly good start in paying the mortgage. Then the housing bubble burst and our medical debt piled on. We learned the limits of our finances, and of the patience of some employers. With guidance from family and our own determination, we stuck together. I would never have left her; that is not how I was raised. I wanted to also set the example for our son, that no earthly challenge is insurmountable.

In 2010, Penny spent the year in a specialty hospital and I split my time between teaching assignments and her bedside. I partially renovated the house, painting the outside and much of the interior, and replaced the carpets, with help from our next door neighbour. My only regret is that I didn’t finish the interior painting, before Penny passed. In the end, I had to set priorities-and, with the house in short sale, the Low Desert world was coming to a conclusion.

We laid Penny to rest, Aram joined the Navy in July, 2011, and I began to pick up the pieces and show the world that there was still a purpose to my presence. The Prescott world began in August, 2011.

Worlds Within A World, Part III

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 16, 2026– As Penny and I settled into our temporary digs, in Osan, South Korea, the most compelling concern our American host had was that we not cross the chopsticks. It turned out to not be a problem for either of us-we knew how to use the implements already, having dined in several Chinese and Thai establishments in Arizona. There were aspects of Korean society that took more adjusting, but I learned to put the group first, to master the art of saving the face of anyone with whom I might be in conflict and to properly bow, in greeting a social equal or a superior. I adored the music, both traditional and pop, the eagerness to learn of my students, and the reverence for nature shown by most Koreans.

Most of our Korea years (1986-92) were spent on the holiday island of Jeju, a four season paradise, which had yet to attract the intensive Chinese and Japanese investment that has led to overdevelopment in the southern and north central parts of the island. It was another place that, in retrospect, was a five-year blessing. We were each Visiting Professors of conversational English, and taught our students in a holistic manner, linking speaking with reading and writing in our native tongue. We came to learn “market” Korean and to be able to read words written in Hangul. Our son was born there, and was blessed with a lifelong love of the country and its people.We spent a fair amount of time in Seoul, Daegu and Busan, as well, and before I left, I made a bus trip around the periphery of the country. We visited the island of Taiwan, also, establishing heart connections with both Han Chinese and Native Taiwanese people, while teaching the Baha’i Faith and engaging in community service. There are people in both countries who, while I am unlikely to see them again, will be deep in my heart always.

Baha’ullah admonishes His followers to choose honouring our parents over even direct service to His Cause. In January, 1992, Penny’s parents made it clear that they were hurting, both physically and emotionally, from not seeing their only grandson but once a year. So, we moved back to Arizona, where they lived in Prescott, six months of the year and in Bedminster, NJ, the rest of the time. We spent six months in Prescott, and I each worked as a substitute teacher, while Penny remained home with our toddler son. “Home”, during this time, ranged from a motel room to a townhouse. I admit to having been a bit shaky, emotionally, going from a high status position, where I was revered by many, to starting from scratch, as a temporary instructor. This was saved by a return to the Navajo and Hopi Nations (1992-99).

I was again a counselor, and Penny taught Second Grade for two years, then became a literacy specialist, using the Collaborative Literacy Intervention Program (CLIP). During this time, I was elevated by my second building principal, herself a seasoned counselor, to providing a holistic counseling program that included vocational and leisure time skills, as well as psychological and emotional counseling. I also completed my school administration credential, and in 1998, left Jeddito, where we had become settled, to try my hand at running a Navajo Community School. I had become a strong presence in the lives of many students in the Cedar Unified School District, and helped save a few lives. Ambition became a trap, though, and I learned. once again, in my year at Chilchinbeto, that there are people working in a school and living in the community, for whom the actual well-being of children is a secondary concern, at best. By the spring of 1999, Penny was starting to show signs of physical and cognitive decline, I was let go by the Governing Board at Chilchinbeto, and we found ourselves in the small desert town of Salome. As with Tuba City and Jeju, there are people in Jeddito and the Hopi Mesas who I will cherish.always, even if I don’t see them again.