Category Archives: distraction issues

Widowhood

4
Posted by on in Community, distraction issues, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 28, 2026- A tempest in a teapot has been swirling around, the past few days, over a joke made in questionable taste, by a prominent comedian, about the marital status of a prominent couple. To a thankfully small extent, this matter has distracted a few people from far more pressing issues.

I don’t know how much Jimmy Kimmel knows about the loss of a spouse. I don’t know the particulars of the Trump household. Beyond a general concern for the well-being of fellow humans, I don’t particularly care to know about any of it.

I have been widowed for 15 years. I have male friends who have also been widowed for several years, and a woman, for whom I care deeply, who has been without her husband, for nearly as long as I’ve been without my wife. Another good female friend just lost the love of her life. None of us are likely to be appreciative of jokes about the subject. Loss is loss, and it involves a fair amount of pain.

We live in a society where, in the name of freedom of speech, no subject is too sacred for lampooning. Yet, here’s the thing: My son has a water glass that has this inscription: “Freedom of speech is not a license to be stupid.” Much of the back and forth, between certain public figures, makes about as much sense as the rock and acorn fights that took place when I was a kid. We at least had immaturity as an excuse.

The Knowing

0
Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 26, 2026- Virginia Roberts Giuffre died a year ago today. In that year, halting progress has been made in finding justice for her, and the thousands of other victims in the Epstein Network. There is a long way to go. In that year, justice was found for Gisele Pelicot, as 51 males were found guilty of raping her, while she was drugged by her then husband. In that year, CNN brought a “mainstream” website to light-it being openly called “Motherless.com-Rape Academy”, viewed over 62,000,000 times. In that year, serial abusers from across the political spectrum were called out-even one, Cesar Chavez, who is long dead.

I have shared a Substack post about the meaning of the term, “motherless”, on Facebook, and can only hope it gets read and taken seriously. I was raised by an exemplary mother. The idea of denigrating her infuriates me. I would have done anything she asked, even though I was a difficult child at times. My son was raised by an exemplary mother. He treasures her memory to this day, even though he was a difficult child at times.

I don’t know many openly misogynistic men, but many men I do know have areas in which to grow-as do I. Suffice it to say, those who hate women also harbour self-loathing. Many tell themselves otherwise, weaving fantasies of greatness and irresistability. They project themselves as monumental figures, as men of consequence, legends in their own time.

I once was deep among them, always wondering why I had no success in finding a mate. When I did find a woman to love, it was only because I had begun to rein myself in, take stock of my behaviour and put sexuality in its place-not as the be-all of life but as one aspect of a committed relationship. My wife initiated the process of my maturation. It took until she passed on, for that maturation to fully take root.

All those who viewed “Rape Academy”, and took its misguided message to heart, are only fooling themselves, damaging their own lives and those of any women hapless enough to become their victims. Humans, our animal form aside, are primarily spiritual beings. What one does to another person, to another sentient being, even to another life form, affects the spirit. It is not a matter of Heaven or Hell, but a matter of behaviour and consequence. Some of those men who have been publicly exposed as rapists and abusers have also done good, even great, acts for the betterment of humanity. Yet, in the end, Christ’s admonition-“Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, that you do unto Me”- refers as much to the harm we do others as it does to what we do that is of help.

The physical, however enticing and pleasurable it may be, is as nothing in the eternal realm. Power, the driving force behind most rape, does not carry over into the next world, but the lessons one must learn in this life are put off by the reckless pursuit of power-and must be learned, with considerably more difficulty, in the next.

Growth can come only with the Knowing, and its practical application to life.

Obsessions

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 10, 2026- As I sit at the computer, reading some articles and writing my own, I watch one or two squirrels traversing the neighbour’s roof and nearby trees, living the full life of exercise, play and acorn gathering that make up the life of a tree squirrel. I also listen for my granddaughter, napping downstairs in her bassinet. She will call out or coo, when she wakes up, knowing that I will shortly come downstairs and tend to her needs.

In neither the rodent, nor the innocent child, is there an excessive focus on anything other than surviving and thriving. Once a person reaches the age of reason, however, unmet needs can turn into obsessions, almost exclusive foci on one or two persons or concepts, even to the extent of neglecting one’s daily duties or responsibilities.

A friend has written an article about “derangement syndrome”. I have yet to read the piece, but I can say, ahead of the game, that such terms indicate obsession, not only by the person who hates, but also by the one who is receiving the vitriol-if that person encourages the attention. It is well-understood, by child psychologists and parents, that a neglected child, one deprived of attention over an extended period, will construct his or her own universe, in which he or she is the center.

We all do this, to a modest extent, as no parent, however dedicated and loving, can shower attention on a child 24/7. For the well-adjusted person, however, there are limits to self-absorption: A spouse, a friend, a sibling, a child or an organization will have needs that the individual, of own volition, will choose to help meet.

For the deprived individual, however, everything in the constructed universe becomes transactional, with him or her as the end recipient. The longer and stronger the deprivation, the deeper the delusion, the louder the demands for attention, and the more creative the transactions. This has been borne out, throughout history, across nations and cultures.

Now, it’s time to tend to my granddaughter.

Scapegoats

0
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 8, 2026- I recall my father telling me, when I was nine, that President Harry S. Truman said “The buck stops here”, as a point he was making on taking responsibility for one’s actions. I largely managed to stick to admitting my mistakes and taking the consequences, for about the next twenty-five years.

As time went on, and life threw a few curve balls at me, and at my family, I fell into the habit of blame casting: “The politicians” or “Big Money” was responsible for my being let go from different jobs. I saw myself as an honest servant of the common people-and it was corrupt overseers who wanted me gone. That may have been the case, but the fact remains that I didn’t learn anything, or make any progress as a human being, by not owning my part in my own situation.

We seem to have created a situation, in which scapegoating is a national pastime: Depending on who is talking, the nation’s ills are being created by “the Democrats”; “the Republicans”; “drug cartels”; “immigrants”; “Fascists”; “Communists”; “Californians”; “New Yorkers”; “Texans”; “Europeans”; “the Chinese”; “Sleepy Joe”; “MAGA”.

My late father-in-law had a simple cure for my own blame-casting “No one is that powerful. Besides, even if there was a person who contributed to your being let go, you bear the ultimate responsibility. You don’t live rent free in anyone’s head. Why let them squat in yours?”:

Each of us can identify people who contribute to the nation’s well-being, or to the nation’s ills. In the end, though, how we fare depends on the actions of the citizenry as a whole. Scapegoats, as my FIL said, are little more than squatters.

The Slow Death of Subterfuge

2
Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 26, 2026- The meeting apparently went relatively well. Credit was given where, and to whom it was due. My daughter-in-law stood her ground and was at least recognized for making a concerted effort to set things right. An attempt, by a less-motivated individual, to shift blame onto their superiors,fell flat. The process will continue tomorrow, but YH’s in-person participation is done, for now. She can focus on her little girl and perhaps get some rest, over the weekend.

The thing that irritates me, a bystander in the whole affair, is the same thing that aggravates about a number of situations: The devaluing of any human being by another, I used to think that this was merely the result of elitism, misdirected cronyism or even narcissism. Yet the more that I recognize put-downs and dismissive comments as largely being reflections of the critic’s self-perception, the more hope I actually have that we, as a species, can move away from subterfuge.

In terms of cosmic energy, a formative civilizational period, of 6000 years, has come to an end. We have gotten all the mileage we are going to get out of one-upmanship , achievement based on cutthroat competition and a zero sum mentality. The Age of Brutus, of Machiavelli and the Borgias, of John Henry Hammond and John D. Rockefeller, even of Donald Trump and Elon Musk, is at an end.

To be sure, we have not seen the literal end of the last two mentioned above, but to have any influence in the emerging civilization that is based on openness, self-awareness and a cooperative mentality, they, and others like them, will have to sharply pivot from all that has sustained their prominence, and be re-born in the same manner as Saul of Tarsus. It worked for Andrew Carnegie, towards the end of the Gilded Age. It might have worked for Woodrow Wilson, had he not suffered that incapacitating stroke

Here at our little home, I will continue to foster a culture of frequent consultation, team planning and celebration of each achievement by any member of the family, no matter how small. Hana’s initiation of “Army crawling” (moving forward on her belly, using her hands and feet, with head raised) is one such cause for joy. Her mother’s soldiering through the rectifying of crisis that was manufactured by the ennui of others is another such cause celebre. Aram may well have climbed another rung on his ladder.

In the life of society, as well as in the life of a family, nature abhors a vacuum. What appears, on the surface, as collapse and chaos, is ever underpinned by an emerging layer of solidarity and certitude. This is what I see happening in our time.

Warrior

0
Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 11, 2026- “Nobody’s Girl”, by Virginia Roberts Giuffre is a brutal read; arguably the Auschwitz-Birkenau of books. I am little more than halfway through the late author’s account of her life before, during and after her association with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Her life up until meeting her husband, Robbie, was a classic case of “assumed deserving of deprivation” combined with identification with aggressors. Epstein heard her tale of abuse by a family member and family friend, and incorporated his own misogynist credo into several years of what amounted to sexual slavery.

“Jenna”, as she called herself, was the sort of girl that, even in my own awkward episodes of standing up for abused children and teens, would have been safe in my care. I might have coddled her and called her “beautiful”, to excess., but I would not have cared who came after her. There would have been no harm, and every power figure who tried to deliver her back to her abuser(s) would have been loudly and publicly called out. That happened once or twice in my career, and otherwise good friends had to be put on notice that the child came first.

Jenna ended up being her own warrior. Her husband helped some, but only she knew the depths of what had been done to her, since the age of seven. She had to withstand a torrent of gaslighting, on which those in positions of power and those who are themselves in denial tend to fall back, especially when a long and fairly successful gig is up. Virginia Roberts Giuffre ended up committing suicide, or so we are told. I am not finished reading the book yet, so I will defer judgement as to whether the case is actually as it has been constructed by those in authority.

It just is a bit too much of a cookie cutter ending, to the case of a person who had finally found a fulfilling life in a loving family of her own choosing.


No Fakery

0
Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

March 10, 2026- The grainy images float across the computer screen, showing clearly spliced images of Donald Trump with Jeffrey Epstein and some of the other principals-victims and perpetrators alike. It is a faked video.

I am no fan of any of the people named in the released documents-be they Republican, Democratic or members of the Galactic Goo Party. In my book, if you hurt another human being, especially for your own satisfaction, the full force of the law should be yours to face. That goes double for those who hurt minor children.

That said, I question whether the released video is even from Iran. The images remind me of the hokey porno films that some of my friends showed, on thankfully rare occasions, back in the late 1960s. I was not impressed then, and I am sickened now. Who, exactly, put this thing out is quite debatable.It is plausible that it was put together in a western Asian locale (I refuse to call the region “The Middle East”. That is an old school, colonialist term.) It could also very well be just another double reverse attempt by the guilty to obfuscate and distract.

Regardless, I hope those who have come this far, in pushing towards justice for the victims of Epstein & Company, are neither distracted or fooled by today’s “video release”. Stick to perusing the documented evidence!

All Matter

0
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social

February 1, 2026-

There is an illusion afoot, across the higher ranks of the Federal government, that there are two classes of people: Those that matter and those that donโ€™t.

This is the logical consequence of centuries of โ€œotheringโ€ and compartmentalized thinking. As long as one can separate self from those near or far, there is a path for those who profit from separation, to obtain that personโ€™s allegiance. This is not a Right thing or a Left thing- both extremes follow the same mantra.

It has yet to work and will not work in the future. The only answer is adhering to the idea that all matter- and not just saying that as a rejoinder to people who feel unheard and have reminded the rest of us of that fact.

These are my thoughts, as Black History Month begins. I personally think that all history should be openly taught, discussed and made into fodder for learning how to move forward. I will, in the years left me to be with my grandchild(ren), teach the open truth and critical thinking skills. Hana already shows that she is no fool. I would expect the same from any sibling she might have.

BANG!

1
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, service, Striving

January 29, 2026-

The blood was coming out in a light, but steady flow. I had hit the icy sidewalk just hard enough to scrape my scalp. At 75, I donโ€™t have as many layers of epidermis as at other times in my life.

So began my first ride as a patient in an ambulance, since my senior year of high school. That was only a mild slice that required six stitches.

The ironic locus of the accident, this time, was a Texas Department of Public Safety center. I had gone there to obtain a Texas driverโ€™s license.

A young woman saw the fall and offered to call 911, but a man named Akenna had already called . He was being guided to put pressure on the wound, taking off his own shirt and donning his coat. A Texas State Trooper came out and took the information needed to report the incident. Then, I was on my way in the wagon.

At the nearest ER, action was fairly swift, The wound was cleaned, CT scans were done and a dressing was applied. The news from radiology was that there was a scrape, stitches were not needed, no fractured skull or brain bleeding.

I caught an Uber that Aram had called and returned to the DPS center; this time avoiding the sidewalk, and rescheduled the driverโ€™s license process for next week.

After I found that I had left my phone in the Uber, I just drove home. Aram was already out looking for the driver, tracking him through my phone. The man was smart, as well as honest, and Son, with phone, was back after a fair amount of time.

He ended the day by dressing my wound after I had washed my hair.

Another day in Paradise came to a decent end.

Pipe Struggles

4
Posted by on in Assistance, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Striving

January 25, 2026-

Most of the house fared okay last night, as Fern left us and focused on the Southeast and North.

One problem remained, throughout the day: The water at the kitchen sink was frozen. We did all the things we remembered from frozen pipes past. Hair dryer on full blast, towels soaked in boiling water and wrapped around the pipes, and a pot of boiled water directly under the frozen pipes

Of course the faucet remained open, as did the doors to the under-sink cabinet. The rest of the faucets, showers, bathtubs and toilets all were fully operational.

At 12:00 noon, the hot water tap started flowing. We are maintaining the above- listed protocols until Tuesday morning, regardless, as Frozen Fernโ€™s tail effects will cause overnight freezes, the next two days.

My prayers and positive thoughts to all in the rest of the affected areas. Be safe, above all.