Category Archives: distraction issues

Obsessions

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 10, 2026- As I sit at the computer, reading some articles and writing my own, I watch one or two squirrels traversing the neighbour’s roof and nearby trees, living the full life of exercise, play and acorn gathering that make up the life of a tree squirrel. I also listen for my granddaughter, napping downstairs in her bassinet. She will call out or coo, when she wakes up, knowing that I will shortly come downstairs and tend to her needs.

In neither the rodent, nor the innocent child, is there an excessive focus on anything other than surviving and thriving. Once a person reaches the age of reason, however, unmet needs can turn into obsessions, almost exclusive foci on one or two persons or concepts, even to the extent of neglecting one’s daily duties or responsibilities.

A friend has written an article about “derangement syndrome”. I have yet to read the piece, but I can say, ahead of the game, that such terms indicate obsession, not only by the person who hates, but also by the one who is receiving the vitriol-if that person encourages the attention. It is well-understood, by child psychologists and parents, that a neglected child, one deprived of attention over an extended period, will construct his or her own universe, in which he or she is the center.

We all do this, to a modest extent, as no parent, however dedicated and loving, can shower attention on a child 24/7. For the well-adjusted person, however, there are limits to self-absorption: A spouse, a friend, a sibling, a child or an organization will have needs that the individual, of own volition, will choose to help meet.

For the deprived individual, however, everything in the constructed universe becomes transactional, with him or her as the end recipient. The longer and stronger the deprivation, the deeper the delusion, the louder the demands for attention, and the more creative the transactions. This has been borne out, throughout history, across nations and cultures.

Now, it’s time to tend to my granddaughter.

Scapegoats

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 8, 2026- I recall my father telling me, when I was nine, that President Harry S. Truman said “The buck stops here”, as a point he was making on taking responsibility for one’s actions. I largely managed to stick to admitting my mistakes and taking the consequences, for about the next twenty-five years.

As time went on, and life threw a few curve balls at me, and at my family, I fell into the habit of blame casting: “The politicians” or “Big Money” was responsible for my being let go from different jobs. I saw myself as an honest servant of the common people-and it was corrupt overseers who wanted me gone. That may have been the case, but the fact remains that I didn’t learn anything, or make any progress as a human being, by not owning my part in my own situation.

We seem to have created a situation, in which scapegoating is a national pastime: Depending on who is talking, the nation’s ills are being created by “the Democrats”; “the Republicans”; “drug cartels”; “immigrants”; “Fascists”; “Communists”; “Californians”; “New Yorkers”; “Texans”; “Europeans”; “the Chinese”; “Sleepy Joe”; “MAGA”.

My late father-in-law had a simple cure for my own blame-casting “No one is that powerful. Besides, even if there was a person who contributed to your being let go, you bear the ultimate responsibility. You don’t live rent free in anyone’s head. Why let them squat in yours?”:

Each of us can identify people who contribute to the nation’s well-being, or to the nation’s ills. In the end, though, how we fare depends on the actions of the citizenry as a whole. Scapegoats, as my FIL said, are little more than squatters.

The Slow Death of Subterfuge

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 26, 2026- The meeting apparently went relatively well. Credit was given where, and to whom it was due. My daughter-in-law stood her ground and was at least recognized for making a concerted effort to set things right. An attempt, by a less-motivated individual, to shift blame onto their superiors,fell flat. The process will continue tomorrow, but YH’s in-person participation is done, for now. She can focus on her little girl and perhaps get some rest, over the weekend.

The thing that irritates me, a bystander in the whole affair, is the same thing that aggravates about a number of situations: The devaluing of any human being by another, I used to think that this was merely the result of elitism, misdirected cronyism or even narcissism. Yet the more that I recognize put-downs and dismissive comments as largely being reflections of the critic’s self-perception, the more hope I actually have that we, as a species, can move away from subterfuge.

In terms of cosmic energy, a formative civilizational period, of 6000 years, has come to an end. We have gotten all the mileage we are going to get out of one-upmanship , achievement based on cutthroat competition and a zero sum mentality. The Age of Brutus, of Machiavelli and the Borgias, of John Henry Hammond and John D. Rockefeller, even of Donald Trump and Elon Musk, is at an end.

To be sure, we have not seen the literal end of the last two mentioned above, but to have any influence in the emerging civilization that is based on openness, self-awareness and a cooperative mentality, they, and others like them, will have to sharply pivot from all that has sustained their prominence, and be re-born in the same manner as Saul of Tarsus. It worked for Andrew Carnegie, towards the end of the Gilded Age. It might have worked for Woodrow Wilson, had he not suffered that incapacitating stroke

Here at our little home, I will continue to foster a culture of frequent consultation, team planning and celebration of each achievement by any member of the family, no matter how small. Hana’s initiation of “Army crawling” (moving forward on her belly, using her hands and feet, with head raised) is one such cause for joy. Her mother’s soldiering through the rectifying of crisis that was manufactured by the ennui of others is another such cause celebre. Aram may well have climbed another rung on his ladder.

In the life of society, as well as in the life of a family, nature abhors a vacuum. What appears, on the surface, as collapse and chaos, is ever underpinned by an emerging layer of solidarity and certitude. This is what I see happening in our time.

Warrior

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Posted by on in collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 11, 2026- “Nobody’s Girl”, by Virginia Roberts Giuffre is a brutal read; arguably the Auschwitz-Birkenau of books. I am little more than halfway through the late author’s account of her life before, during and after her association with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Her life up until meeting her husband, Robbie, was a classic case of “assumed deserving of deprivation” combined with identification with aggressors. Epstein heard her tale of abuse by a family member and family friend, and incorporated his own misogynist credo into several years of what amounted to sexual slavery.

“Jenna”, as she called herself, was the sort of girl that, even in my own awkward episodes of standing up for abused children and teens, would have been safe in my care. I might have coddled her and called her “beautiful”, to excess., but I would not have cared who came after her. There would have been no harm, and every power figure who tried to deliver her back to her abuser(s) would have been loudly and publicly called out. That happened once or twice in my career, and otherwise good friends had to be put on notice that the child came first.

Jenna ended up being her own warrior. Her husband helped some, but only she knew the depths of what had been done to her, since the age of seven. She had to withstand a torrent of gaslighting, on which those in positions of power and those who are themselves in denial tend to fall back, especially when a long and fairly successful gig is up. Virginia Roberts Giuffre ended up committing suicide, or so we are told. I am not finished reading the book yet, so I will defer judgement as to whether the case is actually as it has been constructed by those in authority.

It just is a bit too much of a cookie cutter ending, to the case of a person who had finally found a fulfilling life in a loving family of her own choosing.


No Fakery

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

March 10, 2026- The grainy images float across the computer screen, showing clearly spliced images of Donald Trump with Jeffrey Epstein and some of the other principals-victims and perpetrators alike. It is a faked video.

I am no fan of any of the people named in the released documents-be they Republican, Democratic or members of the Galactic Goo Party. In my book, if you hurt another human being, especially for your own satisfaction, the full force of the law should be yours to face. That goes double for those who hurt minor children.

That said, I question whether the released video is even from Iran. The images remind me of the hokey porno films that some of my friends showed, on thankfully rare occasions, back in the late 1960s. I was not impressed then, and I am sickened now. Who, exactly, put this thing out is quite debatable.It is plausible that it was put together in a western Asian locale (I refuse to call the region “The Middle East”. That is an old school, colonialist term.) It could also very well be just another double reverse attempt by the guilty to obfuscate and distract.

Regardless, I hope those who have come this far, in pushing towards justice for the victims of Epstein & Company, are neither distracted or fooled by today’s “video release”. Stick to perusing the documented evidence!

All Matter

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social

February 1, 2026-

There is an illusion afoot, across the higher ranks of the Federal government, that there are two classes of people: Those that matter and those that don’t.

This is the logical consequence of centuries of “othering” and compartmentalized thinking. As long as one can separate self from those near or far, there is a path for those who profit from separation, to obtain that person’s allegiance. This is not a Right thing or a Left thing- both extremes follow the same mantra.

It has yet to work and will not work in the future. The only answer is adhering to the idea that all matter- and not just saying that as a rejoinder to people who feel unheard and have reminded the rest of us of that fact.

These are my thoughts, as Black History Month begins. I personally think that all history should be openly taught, discussed and made into fodder for learning how to move forward. I will, in the years left me to be with my grandchild(ren), teach the open truth and critical thinking skills. Hana already shows that she is no fool. I would expect the same from any sibling she might have.

BANG!

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, service, Striving

January 29, 2026-

The blood was coming out in a light, but steady flow. I had hit the icy sidewalk just hard enough to scrape my scalp. At 75, I don’t have as many layers of epidermis as at other times in my life.

So began my first ride as a patient in an ambulance, since my senior year of high school. That was only a mild slice that required six stitches.

The ironic locus of the accident, this time, was a Texas Department of Public Safety center. I had gone there to obtain a Texas driver’s license.

A young woman saw the fall and offered to call 911, but a man named Akenna had already called . He was being guided to put pressure on the wound, taking off his own shirt and donning his coat. A Texas State Trooper came out and took the information needed to report the incident. Then, I was on my way in the wagon.

At the nearest ER, action was fairly swift, The wound was cleaned, CT scans were done and a dressing was applied. The news from radiology was that there was a scrape, stitches were not needed, no fractured skull or brain bleeding.

I caught an Uber that Aram had called and returned to the DPS center; this time avoiding the sidewalk, and rescheduled the driver’s license process for next week.

After I found that I had left my phone in the Uber, I just drove home. Aram was already out looking for the driver, tracking him through my phone. The man was smart, as well as honest, and Son, with phone, was back after a fair amount of time.

He ended the day by dressing my wound after I had washed my hair.

Another day in Paradise came to a decent end.

Pipe Struggles

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Posted by on in Assistance, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Striving

January 25, 2026-

Most of the house fared okay last night, as Fern left us and focused on the Southeast and North.

One problem remained, throughout the day: The water at the kitchen sink was frozen. We did all the things we remembered from frozen pipes past. Hair dryer on full blast, towels soaked in boiling water and wrapped around the pipes, and a pot of boiled water directly under the frozen pipes

Of course the faucet remained open, as did the doors to the under-sink cabinet. The rest of the faucets, showers, bathtubs and toilets all were fully operational.

At 12:00 noon, the hot water tap started flowing. We are maintaining the above- listed protocols until Tuesday morning, regardless, as Frozen Fern’s tail effects will cause overnight freezes, the next two days.

My prayers and positive thoughts to all in the rest of the affected areas. Be safe, above all.

Mental Acuity

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Literary criticism, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 21, 2026- in my going around Collin County, I dovetail between using Apple Maps and relying on my memory and general sense of direction. Today, for example, I used the GOS to get to the Plano Costco and memory got me back to the house.

I generally don’t have trouble finding my way, though in younger days, I let social pressure get me rattled and confused. Now, I follow my sense of direction and common courtesy guide my driving. The person at an intersection ahead of me comes first and the one behind me can just wait.

There is a lot of concern about senescence and dementia, in people between the ages of 65-100+. This is a risk we all take, but there are principles of diet, rest and mental exercises that reduce the chances of mental decline.

Shakespeare wrote King Lear as a cautionary tale in that regard, and we have seen many films, read many books and heard a few songs dealing with the matter. It follows that the greater a person’s responsibilities are, the more crucial it is that a trusted team of advisers be in place, to make sure the responsibilities entrusted to the person are carried out in a coherent manner.

As a contemporary of the President of the United States, I understand the risks he is facing. As a citizen, I expect that his advisers take their responsibilities towards the nation and the world more seriously.

Loop de Loop

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Personal Values, service, Social, Striving, Technical stuff

January 15, 2026-

I spent most of today going around and around with the AI of G-Mail and Word Press. This site’s schtick was: “We need you to provide proof of original site purchase, before restoring your account. To do that, though, you have to change your password, which of course you can’t do on the phone app.”

G-mail is not a whole lot different. So, here I am writing my blog on the phone and cannot share on Facebook, because that requires entering my Word Press password.

I am able to pull my friends, family and Substack subscriptions onto my new G-mail address, so there’s that. Eventually, the address with the lost password will fade into irrelevance.

Around the house, though, I pulled a mess of weeds out of the backyard and got a few smiles from Hana, when she awoke and mine was the first face she saw. She is taking in more of the first floor and looking outside the window more.