Tag Archives: childcare

“A Space of Quiet Promise”

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 28, 2026- I am now halfway through my diamond year. Much has changed, since my 75th birthday, and much, at least inside me, has remained the same.

I have left a mountain community, with many acts of service in the course of a week. There was also much in the way of natural beauty, in which I could become refreshed, even at the risk of encountering an apex predator. I left a solid community of friends, of all Faiths, though a good many of my interactions were with my fellow Baha’is; Friends were also from all points on the political spectrum; as apt to be women as men; many were older than 60, and many were younger. I finally mastered the art of teaching, just in time to retire.

I came to a place of quiet promise. (The phrase is borrowed from blogger Cynthia Ward’s essay, “Who I Used To Be”.)* I left a one-bedroom apartment and came into a two-story house, with three bedrooms and two offices that could convert to bedrooms. The kitchen and living room, alone, are the size of what I left behind. I came to live with family, as an active contributor, rather than as a dependent. My educational skills now go towards the development of my infant granddaughter. My Red Cross volunteering is strictly on weekends, and my Baha’i activities are on evenings and weekends. I have not changed my American Legion post, as yet. There is no activity at the nearest post, save gatherings centered on drinking and smoking, neither of which interest me, nor would they suit my coming home to a nursing mother and a little girl. As time goes on, Slow Food Dallas-Fort Worth could draw me into its activities.

Health-wise, I have found a fine, competent VA doctor, dentist and chiropractor. I go to a Planet Fitness, about ten minutes from here. There are plenty of parks nearby and several safe neighbourhoods in which to walk, day or night. I can still do a plank for 1 1/2-2 minutes. I can still walk 3-5 miles. (It’s mostly flat here, but the humidity makes up for the lack of elevation changes).

I have several bounties here: A loving son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter; a large and supportive Baha’i community; a quiet neighbourhood connected with the outside world by well-ordered streets and roads; and, for the next few months at least, a reliable supply network for what we need. This house, this community, are places of quiet promise.

  • “Who I Used to Be”, Still Amazed, Cynthia Ward May 25,2026

Regenerating

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving, Travel

May 27,2026- I took a walk this evening. It was the first real solo walk that I’ve taken in months. I’ve been on short jaunts to Hoblitzelle Park with my family. yet these were done according to someone else’s schedule and at a pace set by others. My most satisfying steps have always been taken at my own pace-neither halting nor frenetic, but steady. That was true of hikes in Arizona and elsewhere. It’s true here in Plano, and thereabouts. It is what will keep me alive and well.

When I moved from Phoenix to Prescott, the door to regeneration had blown wide open. So, I took in nearly every natural space in the Prescott area, gradually widening my circle. There was someone whose point of view was that hikes don’t count, if one has to drive to the trailhead. I chose to ignore that particular admonition. My regeneration, after eleven years of caretaking, of watching the love of my life fade away, could stand no boundaries. I was a veritable Waldo, for a few years-sans the red-striped shirt and stocking cap. Fifty eight hiking trails, forty-eight states and twenty other countries later, that part of my resilience was well-established.

There was one part of me that waited: Who will be walking in my place, thirty, forty, fifty years from now? That question was answered, at least in part, in 1988, with the birth of my son, and was underscored in December of last year, when my first grandchild burst on scene.

For five months, though I have made forays around Plano and to surrounding towns in my car, most of my time has been spent cocooning, keeping my focus on Hana. That aspect of life will be even more pre-eminent, starting next week, when her mother starts a new job that will take her out of the house, five days a week. I will be Hana’s sole adult presence during the workweek.

This, however, brings about the need for an uptick in her daily routine-and walks in the stroller will be the first adjustment. I will be getting a car seat installed in Sportage, and short hops to the Public Library, for puppet shows and story time, will happen as the months roll by. Hana’s world continues to evolve and for me, there is a fifth regeneration.

Shared Loads

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Personal Values, service, Social, Striving

May 26, 2026- Hana’s solid food introduction schedule was devised today, just as her first tooth, or two, is starting to erupt. She accepted the three spoonfuls of rice porridge, which of course are still supplemented by mother’s milk. We three generally share feeding responsibilities, with me taking on the feeding-and everything else pertaining to her care, during the workday. It is one of the most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had.

As a child and teen, I had certain specific chores-and was also raised to notice what needed to be done-and to take care of it. Dad’s words were “Don’t expect an engraved invitation….” I was not the ideal child, but I did take some pride in helping around the house. My siblings, likewise, did their share.

We don’t issue engraved invitations to each other here, either. If one of us is the first to come upon something that needs to be done, we don’t wait around for permission. It is just how a well-oiled household has always worked, in my experience-and it will be a good example for Hana (and her siblings, if there are any.)

A community would seem to be much the same. I have taken on a couple of committee roles in the Baha’i community here and serve as a Red Cross Blood Donor Ambassador in two or three weekend blood drives, each month. While it is a far cry from the volunteer activities that found me in Prescott, these roles dovetail nicely with my first responsibility: My grandchild.

I know of people who work far harder in a volunteer capacity-and my hat goes off to them. It is, however, a truth that “Many hands make light work”; “Teamwork makes the dream work”, and so on. We will continue to make our homestead, and our youngest member, thrive.

In Memoriam

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Spiritual

May 25,2026- When I was a child, each Memorial Day was spent visiting the graves of both of my grandfathers and, starting in 1961, that of my maternal grandmother. Helping my parents place flowers at the sites was taught to us as a form of respect, and more importantly, of gratitude for the love that the departed elders had given my parents and, in Grama’s case, to us. I would, in time, do the same at my wife’s gravesite on Memorial Day weekend. On visits to Saugus, I would pay my respects at the grave of my parents and youngest brother, stopping at my grandparents’ and godparents’ tombs, along with those of a childhood friend or two.

This year was the first time in many years that I was not at a cemetery at any time on Memorial Day weekend. My honouring of my ancestors, and of Penny, came in the form of what I’ve done each day since January 2-spending quality time with my children and grandchild. I took care of Hana, so that her parents could pick up a playpen. She crawled intently, as she is now given to doing, and is lifting her torso off the ground, as she engages hands and knees. She is slowly demonstrating more confidence.

I see Penny in her granddaughter, who is also her namesake. Hana Penny will answer back, when she understands a request and doesn’t agree with it. She pushes herself quite hard and needs to be persuaded to take a rest. She has a winning smile and infectious laugh, along with a quick temper. She has a laser focus.and wants to examine something thoroughly, once it gets her attention.

The departed souls never really leave us-and I’m sure that the idiom “present in spirit” is more real than many imagine. Indeed, a few times, we have observed Hana looking up towards the ceiling, smiling and laughing at whatever, or whoever, she sees up there.

May all the departed rest in paradise.

Solid

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 24,2026- Hana began her transition to solid food in earnest today, A simple meal of rice porridge accompanied her liquid feedings. She was quite happy about this, and recognizes, on some level, that this puts her on the path to being a bigger child. Food items, pureed of course, will be added gradually, one food at a time, according to a nutritionist’s plan that her mother has adopted.

My granddaughter is generally a cheerful little girl, who laughs easily. She also has a serious side and when she is crawling towards something, she does not like being distracted. She puts her attention on doing a certain task-usually on pressing buttons on an educational toy, to elicit a spoken instruction or a little song, to the tune of which she will kick her legs, even while lying prone. She carefully lifts up a section of her crawling mat, to see what is underneath and examines the tags on a quilt or other fabric.

I want to help her build on both of these aspects of herself-the gregarious and mirthful, as well as the purposeful and focused. All three of us read to her, show her the pictures in the books and have her turn the pages, as much as she is willing to. If she wants to linger on a certain page and absorb the illustrations, that’s okay, too.

There is no day off, or holiday, in raising an infant or toddler. At the same time, it is a labour of joy. A solid human being is in the works. The days fly by; with the sameness of each day’s schedule intertwined with the growth that each new day brings. It’s said that this will all “be over” too soon. Maybe so, but in the interim, I will savour every step forward and every inch grown taller.

Agency

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 21, 2026- Hana came up with a simple game today. In her play area, there is a multi-coloured arch. As I was in front of the arch, she pushed it gently towards my head. I nudged it back with my forehead. She pushed it towards me again, and I returned it. Back and forth, we did this, ten times. Then, she changed direction and began crawling towards her multi-tasking cube,with its alphabet blocks, animals making sounds and the numbers 1-10.

I let Aram have his own agency, in matters that did not present any safety risk. He learned, early on, that his opinions, and methods of doing simple tasks, were as valid as anyone else’s. I got some push back on that, from some family members, but I pointed out that no one of us can be around for him, all the time. He kept and grew his agency.

The three of us are equally at home with Hana having her ability to choose what she wants to do, within her play area. If she wants to leave the area and watch whoever is in the kitchen, from the safety of her bouncy chair nearby, she will look in that direction and focus on it, while babbling insistently. My granddaughter is curious over just about anything. She also notices when I have removed something that might be an attractive nuisance, and crawls towards the area to which I have moved it. The important thing, to me, is that she is processing what she sees and is making decisions about how to handle it. We will provide the safety and the guidance, but it will not come at the expense of her agency. When she can’t be allowed in a certain area or be near certain things, we will take that responsibility and explain to her, when she is old enough to understand.

There are two primary schools of thought about agency: Empowerment and acquiescence. The former seeks to build the decision-making capacity of the individual and teaches risk assessment, self-confidence and networking skills. The latter teaches trust in authority, deference and obedience.

Most of us use a mix of the two. This is especially true when one wants a child or underling to be able to make some decisions on their own, but does not see the value in either too much independence or in relegating oneself to an advisory role or mentorship. It depends a lot on one’s personal sense of security and self-confidence. I made the decisions that I did, regarding my son, with the conviction that he would honour his own agency. Life threw some curve balls at us, and in his teen years, the choices we made backfired somewhat, Fortunately, the military helped him, as it did me, and his agency is on track.

That brings me back to Hana. She is a bright little girl and seems to listen well, so I have confidence in giving her a limited measure of independence, based on her developmental level. This would include both limited choices and, once she can walk and talk, some small responsibilities.

Hands and Knees

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

May 9, 2026- Hana used her knees to move herself forward to day. She crawled forward without anyone serving as a backstop for her feet. This has been something she’s wanted to do for at least three weeks, and today, the connection clicked. She is not a quitter, and I told her I was proud of her.

Seeing the little girl keep at something, until it happened, brought me back to her father learning to ride a bicycle and, a few months later, how to swim. He was five. The earlier milestones he met all happened when I was at work: His first crawl, his first steps and his first unmimicked words. I will be around for Hana’s little victories.

Many times in life, both individually and as a community, setbacks are faced. I don’t know the cosmic reason for this. Maybe it is a matter of needing to revisit a situation and deepen one’s skill sets. Perhaps someone else involved in a process needs the same, and you are just along for the ride.Maybe those opposed to forward progress need to revisit the situation, in a position of power, and be shown, one more time, why their backward focus doesn’t work.

Regardless, getting through the situation, with the equivalent of the hands and knees working in synchronicity, is always essential. Whether the cooperation involves two people or a thousand, commitment, consultation and mutual understanding are the keys. Whether it entails the use of hand tools, power tools or electronics, making sure the devices are appropriate to the job, are in good working order, and that the instructions for their use and care are read, understood and followed, is imperative.

Every task comes back to the hands and knees.

Obsessions

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 10, 2026- As I sit at the computer, reading some articles and writing my own, I watch one or two squirrels traversing the neighbour’s roof and nearby trees, living the full life of exercise, play and acorn gathering that make up the life of a tree squirrel. I also listen for my granddaughter, napping downstairs in her bassinet. She will call out or coo, when she wakes up, knowing that I will shortly come downstairs and tend to her needs.

In neither the rodent, nor the innocent child, is there an excessive focus on anything other than surviving and thriving. Once a person reaches the age of reason, however, unmet needs can turn into obsessions, almost exclusive foci on one or two persons or concepts, even to the extent of neglecting one’s daily duties or responsibilities.

A friend has written an article about “derangement syndrome”. I have yet to read the piece, but I can say, ahead of the game, that such terms indicate obsession, not only by the person who hates, but also by the one who is receiving the vitriol-if that person encourages the attention. It is well-understood, by child psychologists and parents, that a neglected child, one deprived of attention over an extended period, will construct his or her own universe, in which he or she is the center.

We all do this, to a modest extent, as no parent, however dedicated and loving, can shower attention on a child 24/7. For the well-adjusted person, however, there are limits to self-absorption: A spouse, a friend, a sibling, a child or an organization will have needs that the individual, of own volition, will choose to help meet.

For the deprived individual, however, everything in the constructed universe becomes transactional, with him or her as the end recipient. The longer and stronger the deprivation, the deeper the delusion, the louder the demands for attention, and the more creative the transactions. This has been borne out, throughout history, across nations and cultures.

Now, it’s time to tend to my granddaughter.

Messy

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 6, 2026- Babies can be messy. They need to be bathed, have their diapers changed, undersides cleaned, faces washed and mouths rinsed with pre-dental solution.

Children can be messy. They need to be taught to take their shoes or boots off, when entering a house, or wipe their feet, when entering a public place. They need to be trained to wipe themselves after using a toilet, and wash their hands afterward, then dry them with a cloth or paper towel. They need to be shown how to make their beds and clean their rooms, putting things back where they found them.

Teenagers can be messy. They need to be held to account and actively encouraged to slow down and be present in a situation. They know how to focus on others; they do so with their friends, all the time. Extend that focus to people older and younger than themselves.

Families can be messy. Patience and communication are the cleaning agents. So is reflection-remembering when one was in the same position as the one who made the mess, or looking ahead to when one will be in the same position. The child will become an adult, and very well may be a parent. The parent may very well become a grandparent. The grandparent must never forget what it was like to be a baby, a child, a teenager, a parent.

Communities, and organizations, can be messy. Patience, and communication, are even more essential here, even as they become more complex. Technology can help, and it can also hinder; the way in which it is used determines which will be the case. The viewpoints of leaders, and members, will decide how tools, including technology, are used.

Life is messy; it can only be cleaned by those living it.

Clear Vision

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 4, 2026- Hana was upset, and the cause didn’t quite seem clear to her parents, so Papa went down and took her. She wanted me to let her sit on my knees and then calmed down. I spoke to her about what might be troubling- maybe a little stomach upset or she needed a blanket. Prelingual doesn’t mean not intuitive. She calmed down, and after a bit, she was glad to rest her head on my shoulder, and we repaired to the little rocking chair.

Having time with fewer demands from the outside world, I can see things with a bit more clarity. I don’t worry anymore about who might think what of me, or of what I might have done to offend someone. Words and actions just come more carefully, by default. I guess part of that is the catalog of experiences. Another part is deepening in spiritual teachings and integrating them into my daily life. My main goal now is to give this little person a solid emotional foundation.

A wise man, now gone on, once said there were two types of people he trusted unconditionally: Children under the age of ten and senior citizens, over 65, who have all their faculties. I can honestly say that my faculties are sharper now than they were at the age of 25, or 55.