The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 22

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August 12, 2026- Hana played Hide and Seek with me, this afternoon. She hid behind a curtain, and I pretended to not know where she was. She thought it was great fun, and laughed for a minute or two, before coming out from behind the curtain. This evening, when her mother sang “Itsy Bitsy Spider” in an atonal manner, Hana groaned. She knows how the song is supposed to go. She does like her Mom’s singing Korean songs, and would probably groan if I tried singing those.

She took four steps this afternoon, with my support. Walking has thus become an intermediate goal, and will probably immediately follow standing, once she can do the latter for five or ten minutes, with support. She can stand for about 30 seconds without support, which is pretty good for a seven-month-old.

HANA’S NOTE- I like Hide and Seek. When I start walking, I will hide in places Papa can’t find me. I will probably give myself away, though, by giggling.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1995 This was a year that I put up a swing set, for Aram and his friends to use. The neighbour kids were also welcome to use it. One boy fell off and bruised himself. Knowing his mother, and her desire to handle her children’s problems herself, I sent him home, once it was clear that he wasn’t badly hurt. In the night, though, he and two other mischief makers came and wrecked the swing set. His mother re-reimbursed me for the damage, but we had to take the equipment down and haul it to the dump.

Aram had friends in the Hopi villages, who were coaxed into meanness towards him, by older men. One of those men ended up dying in a roll-over, a few weeks later. There was prejudice, and there was a lack of self-control. The kind people on both Reservations helped us cope and we continued to be invited to social dances.

We went, as a family, to a Baha’i school in the Midwest, during the summer. Aram was sleepwalking, a couple of nights, and we were taken to task for this, by the Administrators. We were able to keep better watch on him, after the third night, so nothing bad happened during the rest of the camp. On the day we left, however, he went by himself to the playground, climbed up on a piece of equipment, and suffered a mishap, which resulted in us taking him to the ER. We assured the administrators of the school that we did not hold them responsible for what he did without permission. The rest of the journey was error-free.

We lost Penny’s paternal grandfather, the inventor and businessman, Abraham C. “Al” Fellman, in late summer. “Grandpa Al” was 95. He had invented the Fellman Boot, the first combat boot with a non-slip tread. It was adopted for use by the U.S. Navy, in World War II. To think that two of my uncles wore this boot, on their respective destroyers, during the Battle of the Coral Sea, and the Battle of Midway, is quite a revelation. Al was a gracious and graceful, gentleman.

Life continued to be mostly a positive experience.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 21

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August 11, 2026- Hana is fully into practicing standing up, and is very clear about wanting me nearby, so she can hold onto me while boosting herself up. I am close by, anyway, to make sure she doesn’t have any hard falls. The play pen is high enough that there is no danger of her climbing over.

The bedtime struggles have started; essentially, she can be put in the crib at the same time, but it takes her longer to lie down and go to sleep. She has one teething ring and one plush toy in the crib, s she will fall asleep more from boredom than anything else-and I recommend to her parents that they go with that. Our girl is very active during the day. and needs her naps, so it will take her a bit more time at night, to wind down.

She is very good about telling me when she needs a diaper change and in reminding me that it’s her supper time, if her parents are running a little late in getting home from work. She likes most foods, but winces at the taste of stewed Roma tomatoes. Her favourites are the naturally sweet things, like carrots, apples and squash. She also likes salmon and chicken.

HANA’S NOTE- Papa had ice cream for dessert at lunch. I wish I could have ice cream!

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1994 I lost my youngest brother, Brian, in March. It will forever cast a shadow over St. Patrick’s Day, but he left us after blessing the family for nearly 29 years. He taught us love, forbearance, patience and the knowledge that there is value in every human life. All the lessons I absorbed, from watching my parents raise and safeguard him would become very valuable, in nine very short years.

Our summer started with Bellemont Baha’i Summer school, at the salubrious camp, fifteen miles west of Flagstaff. In the 1990s, we still had our meals prepared by a “chuckwagon crew”, three or four men who cooked everything over an outdoor cook stove. The program was well planned, with deepenings on both Baha’i history and the path to a more virtues-based society. Recreation was always vigorous. We provided both volleyball and badminton nets. Another staple was a youth trip to some Lava Tubes, northeast of Bellemont. Penny and I joined a group that climbed Kendrick Peak, an outlier of the San Francisco Peaks.

We made a trip eastward, including Aram’s first visit to the Baha’i House of Worship, in Wilmette, IL While we were praying silently, he snuck away and began to speak into the microphone. This earned him a sharp rebuke from the security guard. He later told me, “Daddy, I didn’t know Baha’is could be mean.” I told him there was difference between “mean” and strict, and that from now on, he needed to be quiet in the House of Worship.

Penny returned to work, in August, taking a second grade classroom. She lost no skills in her time away from teaching and her students were making great strides in the first semester, My counseling efforts benefited from the addition of a four-pronged program that the new Principal brought with her. She had been a counselor for several years, and I valued her recommendations, though her manner could be quite abrupt. The four prongs, Academic, Vocational, Social and Leisure. were able to be worked into my work with each class. I also was fully into the Red Ribbon program, which addressed substance abuse issues.

The Winter holidays meant a three-day Baha’i Winter school, at a hotel in Phoenix. A large group attended this, each year, with many dressed in their finest clothes. We were business casual, and enjoyed the gathering, nonetheless. Aram had a fairly good experience in the children’s classes, which focused on virtues. It was always pleasant in Phoenix, in December. New Year’s Eve always meant Penny’s parents’ anniversary, so we joined them in Prescott.

The decade had established a sweet routine.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 20

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August 10, 2026- “Quack, quack” So said Hana to her rubber duck, as her parents were bathing her, this evening. She stores an incredible amount of information, that she has only heard once or twice. I guess we all do that. I have used phrases that are favoured by Millennials and Gen-Zers, without recalling exactly where I heard or read them, in the first place.

She spent most of our playtime practicing standing up. My granddaughter is very good about looking to me for help, and usually will hold out her hand, when she wants a boost. She is also good about pushing my hand away, when she wants to do this on her own. I’m glad to oblige, either way.

She is now able to go back to sleep, when something disturbs her nap, or evening slumber. A month or so ago, one of us would have to rock her back to sleep. Now, she can comfort herself, most of the time.

HANA’S NOTE- I know a couple of animal noises-the duck’s “Quack” “and the cat’s “Meow.” Papa makes those sounds when he reads about the animals.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1993 I was able to establish my boundaries with those I loved and with those who were beloved by those I loved. I was most concerned with setting boundaries for myself. Being counselor to 900 people and chief Child Protection Officer for a school district that stretched over 100 miles, left little room for error. I went up against the Chief of Staff of a large medical facility, some cross street neighbours and even my own Superintendent, in the course of bringing well-connected people to justice, on behalf of children. We won each time.

The social aspect of our time in Jeddito was what was most endearing. We attended social dances in each Hopi village, and at least two healing ceremonies in Navajo camps. We hosted a friend from Washington state, who had a unique view of the future. (It never came to pass.) We also welcomed a family from Oklahoma, who stayed with us for four days and a lone traveler from the Omaha Nation, who was with us for two weeks,

We were becoming more focused.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 17

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August 7, 2026- Hana has now taken to crawling on me and “wrestling”, while I am lying down on the play pen mat. Her main focus is still very much practicing standing up with my support. She also likes to take two or three steps, while I am helping her stand. The girl is not about wasting time.

The pest control guy came today, and sprayed all areas where it will not affect Hana. He also recommended putting a capful of bleach in each sink drain. This will, he said, destroy any pheromones which the insects leave for those who come after them. Yes, cockroaches are social insects. I have seen them travel in pairs. Now, hopefully, they will travel somewhere else.

I have a car seat for the KIA now, so my next visit to the chiropractor will be with Hana along. The office is family friendly, so having her in the stroller will not interfere with the adjustment, which takes five minutes, tops. I will also be able to take her to the library. She has a special affinity for books, and loves to study the pictures-and the print, for several minutes at a time.

HANA’S NOTE- When I see Papa lying down on the mat, that is a cue for me to crawl over to him and grab his nose and ears. He laughs when I do that.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1990 We were pretty much in a solid routine at Jeju. I would take Aram to student plays, but I’d have to take him out, because he would laugh or call out, once he heard an echo. Nonetheless, our family was well-liked by many people on the island. Aram loved being held by pretty women and was already playing with other toddlers in our compound. We went to the Korean mainland regularly, particularly for Baha’i gatherings. We also went hiking, up Halla-san and on Songsanilchubong, with Aram in a carrier on my back. The Korean slang for a man doing what was seen as women’s work is ujima. I was called that several times, but didn’t care. My boy was my treasure.

Classes were proceeding quite nicely. I also served as editor of The Islander, an English-language student newspaper. The staff wrote several well-researched articles, which I usually proofread in my office. Penny had a strict rule that no one was to intrude on our family time. This irritated some aggressive parents of students, who wanted private tutoring for their children. Again, I marched to my own drummer. I worked well with my colleagues, but on my terms. (i.e., I didn’t drink alcohol, to which the professors were accustomed, having had several Baha’is on staff, before me.

The Hana Chronicles:Month 7, Day 15

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August 5, 2026- Hana’s Daddy was home for most of the day, as he had some personal business to complete, away from work. While we were in the playpen, and Aram was standing just outside it, Hana took his hand in hers, then took my thumb in her other hand. She is always thinking about inclusion, togetherness. Her happiest moments are when all four of us are together. She is ever joyful when one of us is playing with her in the pen.

Hana has established a reliable communication with me, when she needs a diaper change. I have passed this on to her parents. It is a precursor to what I see as a looming early toilet training. She is only 2-3 months away from walking with assistance, as well. This girl has things she wants to do in life, for sure.

HANA’S NOTE- I saw that Faddy was worried about the thing he was working on, so I gave him a big hug. He said that helped.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1988 It is said that when a man becomes a father, he begins to turn into his father. In July, our son, Aram, came into the world. I held him in my arms, 20 minutes after he was born, then held him up to the window and told him what a big and beautiful world he was now in. I named his middle name after my father, Ferdinand, Dad had been gone for two years, and I missed the guidance he would have given me, but I drew on what I remembered of all he had said and done, over the course of our thirty six years together. I would delight in many of the things Aram said and did, growing up and would correct him, in the way a given situation warranted. I would be ferocious in defending him, even from family members (only was needed once) and from my fellows in faith (maybe necessary a half dozen times, over the years.)

When Penny was six months pregnant, we went on a Baha’i teaching trip to Taiwan, spending two weeks there. We spent most of the time in a small central Taiwan town, Tsaotun. There, we met with university students late at night, repaired a brick walkway, promoted a large gathering that was organized by other Americans (no one showed up) and met with a few venerable Baha’i teachers. I would return there, along with another Baha’i from Korea, later that Fall, for a three-day conference.

For three weeks or so after Aram’s birth, we had help from Penny’s parents. Her Dad went with me to the U.S. Consulate in Busan, where we secured Aram’s American birth certificate and his passport. A well-meaning Korean Immigration officer, new to the job, had told me that the baby would be deported, unless his passport was completed post haste. His superior, overhearing that, corrected him, but cautioned that prompt action was in order. So, prompt action was taken.

Aram was only the second American child ever born on Jeju, and he was the first Caucasian child thus born, so he became a celebrity, fawned over by most of the people. That love made a place in his heart for the country and the people, which has had an outsized effect on his life. We would live three more years in Korea, but his heart remained there.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 14

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August 4, 2026- “All done! Aaahh.” With those words, my granddaughter pushed away her empty water cup, having cleaned her plate at lunch time. She cleans her plate every meal, so this was no surprise.

Earlier, no sooner had Yunhee placed a sloping wedge in the playpen, for Hana to climb (under supervision), than our little girl looked at me, standing outside the playpen and pushed the wedge over to the playpen wall, where I was standing. She then climbed up on the wedge and pulled herself up, using the wall. I held her back, and when she started to move backwards, gently lowered her to the wedge

The vigilance has thus gone a few notches higher. I know it is going to be all the more urgent, once Hana learns to walk-and run. She was quite proud of herself for having thought of using the wedge as a step, to look over the playpen wall.

When Aram called, to report the need to take his car to the shop, Hana listened, as I put the call on speaker. She called out “Talk to Daddy!”, which made his day. These little bits of commentary certainly make my days, also.

HANA’S NOTE- I like the lunch my Mommy makes for me. It is always easy to eat, and tastes good.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1987 In January, I was offered a Visiting Professorship. in Jeju National University’s Department of English Language Education, In February, I was told that I had to leave Korea while my employment visa was being processed. So, I returned to the United States, landing in Los Angeles, then flying to Portland, and continuing by bus to Seattle, then across the northern tier. My one and only visit to North Dakota, thus far, entailed being on a Greyhound that braved a blizzard. As we stopped, briefly, in Steele, ND, the driver remarked that if blizzards stopped buses, no one in North Dakota would go anywhere for six months. We left the snow behind in Chicago, then I went on through NYC to Boston. I spent a week with my mother, helping to soothe her still aching heart. I spent three days with Penny’s parents, in New Jersey, then took another bus to Greenville, South Carolina, where my brother Dave and his family were living at the time. I spent about ten days there, until I got word that my visa had been approved. I then went by bus across the South, passing through New Orleans on the morning of Ash Wednesday, thus seeing the mounds of debris, the morning after Mardi Gras. I took a plane from Phoenix to LA, then had to negotiate a flight back to Seoul and Jeju, as Korean Air was skeptical of my visa, for some reason. I got back to Jeju and gave Penny a pleasant surprise. (This was before cellular phones, mind you, so there was no way to call her, when I was having flight issues.)

My year as a professor involved a brief learning curve, with regard to the mind of the Korean university students (much more like high school students, in terms of maturity, back then). We endured months of active protests on the campus, on one occasion maintaining strict silence, as militant students marched down the hall of our building, clanging steel rods on the floor as they passed. A radical student in one of my classes told me that her friends would confine me to my office,if they knew I was in class. She and my other students did not want that to happen. so they kept still.

Penny and I went back to the U.S. again in summer, taking a five-week summer session at NAU, then spending a few weeks in New Jersey and Massachusetts, before returning to Korea in late August. The family visits would be our summer routine, for each of the years that we were in Korea- except for the year to come. Another big change was coming to our lives.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 13

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August 3, 2026- Hana has taken to kneeling and looking at the camera that is above her crib, when she wants someone to come to her. She will start babbling, in a sensible cadence, so I know that she is thinking about what to say. Her appetite has also increased, since her upper incisors have come in.

She comes to me, in the playpen, when she wants to practice standing. It is easier to grab onto Papa than onto the play pen lining, and besides, I will both hold her up and cheer her on. Although “I am Baby” is one of her latest phrases, she has a quite elevated agenda, for a seven-month-old.

HANA’S NOTE- I like it when Daddy calls, because then Papa lets me listen to the phone call. Any other time, the phone is off-limits.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1986 This was another seismic year. Late on a January night, I took a call from South Korea. A Baha’i friend there, who knew that Penny was getting her Master’s Degree in Teaching English as a Second Language, called to ask whether she would be interested in taking his position: Visiting Professor of English, in the Department of English Language and Literature, at Jeju National University. Her half-conscious response was: “Sure, why not?”

Despite a lot of internal back and forth on the matter, she took the position and we began to uncouple from Tuba City. We made arrangements to move ourselves, and our household items, in August. We left Tuba in June and spent two months at NAU, in Flagstaff. I was taking courses towards a School Administrative Certificate, and had 12 credits left to earn. Six of those credits were covered that summer.

It was only two weeks into the summer session, when I got the phone call that my father had passed away. On a Sunday morning, his heart failed him, as he prepared for a routine visit to my youngest brother’s residential facility. I made flight arrangements, almost immediately, in rather a foggy state of mind, and called one of my professors, to explain the situation. He promised to tell my other professor. Penny was unable to join me, as her key exam was the following Saturday. We went to get her food for the week, as I would have the car to drive to Phoenix. Then, I was off. I got to Boston around 11 p.m., meeting my brother, Dave at Logan Airport. A short time later, I was holding my mother as tightly as I had when her mother had passed, thirty-six years earlier. It was a week of remembrance, giving and receiving solace and yard work. I enlisted the help of a few uncles and cousins for my mother, before I left to go back to Arizona.

We arrived in South Korea, in mid-August. A week was spent with American friends in Osan, outside of Seoul. Acclimating to Korean life in Metro Seoul was a bit like assimilating to American life, by living in New York or Los Angeles, It was a bit of a Boot Camp, though, and we were in fairly good shape, by the time we went down to Jeju. A few weeks later, we were in our Teacherage, Penny began her teaching work and I spent my days tutoring a few Korean students and getting to know the coffee houses of downtown Jeju. Penny and I also went to the southern island town of Seogwip’o. As it happened, the area had just been hit by a typhoon, and we saw lot of clean-up going on.

My own work as a Visiting Professor of English would start, early the following year.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 12

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August 2, 2026- After yesterday’s frenetic activity, I stayed close to home all day today. Hana was fairly quiet, as well, just being glad to be with her parents, sitting in the playpen and talking softly to her Mom, then taking an hour’s nap on her Daddy’s shoulder.

We did go to a couple of stores, buying some small household items and a few more groceries for the week’s meal planning. Both of Hana’s parents worked very hard today, to get all of her meals ready and preparing lunches that they can take with them, without a lot of last-minute preparation. They even baked chocolate chip cookies together, this afternoon, once we got back.

Papa did back-up work, but my day was not all that hard. Being an extra pair of hands, when Hana needed to be changed,and when she was done being bathed, holding out the towel and wrapping her in it, was enough. I cleaned up a fair number of items that were in boxes, and have enough space to set aside paintings that are lying about the common room, outside my bedroom.

HANA’S NOTE- I want to grab anything I see, these days. Today, I figured out how to unlatch the clasp on my bouncy chair. Daddy caught me, though, and refastened it.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1985- My parents visited Penny and me, and we took them around Arizona-to Grand Canyon, Sedona, Prescott, Flagstaff, Montezuma Castle, the Hopi villages and Phoenix. We enjoyed a day or so in Tuba City as well. It would be the last time I saw Dad, so I’m glad they seemed to enjoy themselves. Penny’s parents also came out for a visit, in September. They were faithful, in making a yearly visit, while we were in Tuba City.

This was a year for gardening, as we had no out of state trips planned. We grew squash, tomatoes, peppers, melons and corn. It was a healing exercise for both of us. I also focused on Baha’i teaching activities, while Penny was in Flagstaff, working on her second Master’s Degree. When she felt lonely, I left the Baha’i activities and stayed with her at the University. Re-setting priorities was something on which I did not always excel. Things worked out, though,and we had a fairly good Fall and Winter.

Our life together was, however, about to head in a different direction, in the year to come.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 11

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August 1, 2026- Hana starts her active day with exercises: Stretches, push-ups, cross-body reaches and even a plank or two. She does this on her own, with our expressions of approval and pride following the session’s end. Another thing she likes to do on her own is wiping the play mat with a cloth. This is her way of cleaning her play space.

She has had a good day with her parents, joining them on a food shopping trip, being carried in a sling by her Daddy. Hana takes well to stores and restaurants now. A few months ago, she was more sensitive to crowds and noise. Now, she takes a lot in stride.

My granddaughter notices everything that I bring into the house, wanting to know what’s in the bag or box that I’m carrying. Today, I brought bagels from Saved by the Bagel, after I got a haircut nearby. She looks longingly at such items, but realizes they are still something not suited for a person with only four front teeth. I tell her that her day will come.

HANA’S NOTE- I want to keep my space clean, so I wipe the mat, just like Mommy and Papa do.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1984 We lost a neighbour and a contemporary-Gordon Tong, at only 38, in the heat of the monsoons of August. I made three trips back and forth, from Tuba City to the Native American Baha’i Institute, where the Baha’i friends gathered for Gordon’s services. I had to get Penny, another Anglo friend and three Navajo elders.The funeral and burial were punctuated by the intense rain, almost fortuitously. I have rarely experienced such a dramatic send-off.

The year saw us on the road-and in the air, quite often. We drove up to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, spending ten days offering the Baha’i message to Lakota people, in Wanblee and Pine Ridge town, as well as various ethnic groups in Martin, a town in between Pine Ridge and Rosebud. On our second anniversary, Penny and I visited Wall, a tourist town northwest of Pine Ridge and drove around Badlands National Park. We pitched a tent in Badlands, only to get good and soaked that night. We were too tired to worry and were no worse for the wear, the next day.

We flew to Guyana, in July, spending three weeks in the small South American country, again teaching the Baha’i message to Black,South Asian and Wayana First Nations people. Penny was in her glory, teaching groups of small children and young ladies. I went around with a couple of local men, in each of the villages we stayed. As we passed a “parlour” (bar), near noon one day, a voice yelled out: “Hey, white man”, from inside the parlour. A one finger salute accompanied the “greeting”. My friend wanted to leave the area, but something told me to go inside. A table of four young men was the source of the message. When we approached, their demeanur changed, and they bade us sit. We chatted with the men for nearly an hour-not pushing the Baha’i message directly, but establishing a decidedly more congenial atmosphere than had initially greeted us. Similar experiences followed, in each of the next two villages.

When Penny and I returned to the U.S., we stayed a few days with a family near Houston, then drove north, visiting friends in Oklahoma, then going up to Macy, Nebraska, on the Omaha Reservation, where another sizable Indigenous Baha’i community was having a gathering. We went to one dignitary’s house, and it turned out that he was a cousin of one of my co-workers back in Tuba City.

1984 was not as harrowing as the novel of the same name. The challenges we did face only made us stronger as a couple.

The Hana Chronicles: Month 7, Day 10

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July 31, 2026- We couldn’t go for our walk today, because two of us over the age of 30 forgot to take the stroller out of the trunk, when we got back from the doctor’s, on Wednesday. Hana occupied herself nicely, using me as a support in pulling herself up to a standing position, several times today. This is something she want to do on her own and she will get it accomplished. I would say that, at this rate, she will be standing, pretty easily, by the middle of August.

Her speech is also rapid fire and sounds fairly specific, though much of it is babbling, still. “Mama”, “Oma”, “Apa”, “Daddy”, “Dada”, “Mommy” and “Papa” are all spoken with regularity. “I want”, “I don’t want”, “Yeah” and “”I love” also are clearly pronounced.

HANA’S NOTE- I really, really, really want to walk. I like standing up. I can see so much more.

YEAR IN REMEMBRANCE-1983 My paternal grandmother was someone I thought would live forever. A month shy of her 84th birthday, Nana was choking on something,at a Senior Center lunch. A well-meaning gentleman intervened, and performed a Heimlich procedure on her. It didn’t have the desired effect and she had to be hospitalized. She died shortly thereafter. Nana lived to see 49 grandchildren and at least a dozen great-grandchildren. One of those grandchildren preceded her in death. The rest of us honoured her memory.

Penny and I settled into Tuba City, and into our work. We were regulars at a coffee house that was put on each week, at the Episcopal Church. We had people over for dinner, at least once a week and taught those who were interested, about the Baha’i Faith. One comment, from a video store operator, who was a member of Four Square Gospel, still sticks in my memory: “All religions follow the same God?” That is indeed our story, and we’re sticking to it.

We also traveled around the Southwest: Pipe Spring, Colorado City and Lake Havasu City (for Christmas), in Arizona; on our First Anniversary-Durango to Silverton, Colorado (on the Narrow Gauge Railroad); Chama,Rio Grande Gorge, Taos and Santa Fe, New Mexico and several Baha’i-sponsored events, from Phoenix and Casa Grande to Jemez Springs and Crystal, New Mexico. In the Fall, my brother, Glenn, married his sweetheart, Barbie. So we made the trip back to Massachusetts, at the height of foliage season. It was sweet.

We did very well, as a couple, during this first year of wedlock.