I have refrained from speaking on this recent, horrible event in our area, because the tragedy has drawn a lot of commentary already, and while I am an open book, it’s imperative that less attention be drawn to any one person who is outside the circle of those suffering.

On June 30, 2013, twenty men went into harm’s way, with no thought of themselves.  One came out alive, only because he was trying to get the others out as well, and did all he could to get his crew members to follow suit.

Yet, the fire had other plans.  The fire was too quick, and the wind moved with vengeance, pushing infernal flames in the direction of the living, the unselfish.  That’s the way of fire.  It is supposed to cleanse, the way vermin are supposed to cleanse, when so often, they spread disease and death from the very germs they seek to clean up.  So often, fire overdoes it.

Thus it was, on that Sunday afternoon.  A gentle, welcoming small village, at the cusp of mountains and desert, found itself fleeing a behemoth.    Neighbours to the northeast were largely spared, when the wind shifted, backwards, but their protectors fell.

The guardians died; their families are now on their knees, wondering who will guard and resuscitate them.  Some of us offer answers of reassurance.  I have learned, though, that the best offers of love and support mean nothing, unless and until they are fulfilled.  In some cases, this fulfillment will take years, and may occasionally be deferred by other concerns or be battered by the anger, the despair, the palpable hurt that accompanies any and all grief.

Nineteen souls have joined the pantheon of the hereafter, what we in the American Legion call Post Everlasting.  Nineteen families have joined the assembled multitude of those for whom the public cares, for a time.  Their true friends, though, will be those who do not stop caring, who will accept them and love them through all the pain, the sorrow and the occasional lashing-out.  These friends will be there until the end, and I pray God that end is not a bitter one.

Every so often, I am in the mood to make a list.  Favorite people would be a dicey thing here, lest I inadvertently leave someone out, and he/she gets all butt-hurt, which would not be my intention.  I have found the same to be true when I make a list of favourite places- someone will come on and say:  “Hey, YOU LEFT OUT ……..!!!”

I will go with things, and if I left out your fave, make your own list. LOL

Here goes, in no particular order:

1.Sunrise

2. Blueberries in summer

3. Apple cider in autumn

4. Mountains

5. Smiles

6. The sound of children playing happily

7.  The ocean

8. Snow at Christmas

9. Hiking

10. Lean meat

11. Hummus

12. Nose rings or nose studs, on young women

13.  Dachshunds

14.  Joyous laughter

15.  Historical sites

16. Dreams

17. Sunsets

18. Bright moons

19. Magical fantasies

20. Restful sleep

21. Songs sung well

22. The Baha’i Faith

23. Fireworks, on a country’s National Day

24.  Thanksgiving Dinner

25. Gatherings of good friends

26. 15-minute mid-day naps

27.  Healthy-looking human forms

28.  Rottweilers

29.  Horses

30.  Rain forests

31.  Well-arranged art

32.  Historical fiction

33.  Lasagna

34.  Pandora (the music channel)

35.  Revolution (the television program)

36.  Blogs

37.  Lush deserts

38.  Beaches

39.  Gentle rain

40.  Hugs

41.  Cliff dwellings (to view from a distance)

42.  Well-crafted pizza

43. Kimchi

44. Late-night discussions

45.  Road trips

46.  Well-played sporting events

47. Friendship

48. Families

49. Curiosity

50. Happy couples

I came back, about two hours ago, from an absolutely delightful evening, where 45 people celebrated the successful career, and retirement (transition into second career) of the woman who is the driving force behind Slow Food Prescott.  Her whirling dervish approach to life is very closely approached by the energy and drive of her husband of over 30 years.

I have many women friends.  Most of them are in committed relationships with fine people, who treat them the way I treated my late darling Penny. Those who are “unattached” know that I care for them as people.  Romance is a dicey thing, though, and can’t be forced.

My best women friends are affectionate in their speech, using terms like “Baby”,”Sweetie”, “Honey”, the way a lot of waitresses use such terms- in coquetry, and with genuine, nonsexual love for the person whom they are addressing.  They are people on whom I can depend in time of need, but I am not their lover.  I, too, use terms like “Sweetheart”, “Angel”, and “Precious”, in addressing women I have known for at least six months- not as a patronizing and demeaning term, but as a sign that I value them.

My women friends are, mostly, huggers and touchers.  A few prefer the handshake, and that’s just fine.  I can trust them every bit as much as the rest of my friends.

Women make good friends, to me, because they are essentially kind, honest and take a sisterly or daughterly interest in my world.  I  get along fine with men, but our relationships, other than those with my son, brothers and nephews, are MOSTLY professional and businesslike.  I can’t envision a world in which I have no women friends.

Over the past crazy two weeks, with the funeral of an old friend, two tragic wildfires and their resulting Red Cross shelters, a trip to San Diego and a major Fourth of July parade under my belt, I have found one recurring strand:  I feel most comfortable around people between the ages of 14-30.

Millennials, like all rising generations, get a bad rap from those older than themselves.  They are not as tradition-bound as Baby Boomers, nor are they as acquisitive as members of Generation X.  They actually most resemble- the GI Generation!  Why?  Both generations are about recovery from hardship and disaster.  The current rising generation has not seen their world hit rock-bottom, yet.  There is, however, a cosmic sense that “It’s coming”, hence the plethora of media about vampires, zombies and extra-terrestrial invaders.

It’s not without precedent.  The 1930’s and ’40’s had Buck Rogers films, the original Dracula and Frankenstein series and a later concern, in the ’50’s, with nuclear holocaust.

The Millennials can relate to the plausibility of a reversion to survival instincts and the tribal life.  Witness television of recent times:  “Survivor”, “Lost”, “Siberia”, “The Walking Dead”, “Revolution”, “Under the Dome”, “True Blood”- all concerned with dystopia and its aftermath.  “Breaking Bad” explores decent into dystopia in the lives of one man and his circle of family and friends.  The same theme reverberates in film and other media.

I grew up wondering how I would deal with dystopia.  I focused greatly on the affairs of the wider world, which put me largely outside the loop with my Baby Boomer peers, especially with other boys and men, who were more concerned with the parochial and day-to-day that was right in front of them.  Like Robert F. Kennedy, I paraphrased G.B. Shaw:  “I think of things that never were and say, ‘Why not?'”

Another reason, closer to home, binds me to the Millennial Generation:  My son is a member of it.  His friends are mostly Millennials. His future wife will most likely be from within his generation.  In my own wife’s last years, I found my home was a refuge of sorts, for the people in Aram’s social circle who were either homeless or strangers within their own family.  This brought me into e-culture, the unique and very subtle humor which that culture has spawned, the colourful slang expressions that come from it and the post-racial, post-sexist worldview that is slowly taking root among Millennials.    Racists and sexists walk among the Millennials and reproduce, but they are seen by their peers, increasingly, as anachronistic embarrassments, appendages of a fading generation.

Two things, though, bind me to Aram’s generation and to the one which is coming after it (which I will call Generation AA, born since 2001.).  First, there is a global, unified, holistic sense of things.  People know what I’m talking about when I mention a particular situation in a country far from where we happen to be speaking.  The tendency to redirect back to “around here”, so prevalent among those over the age of 40, is not so evident among Millennials, though they are quite adept at being present in the now.

The second tie that binds is I am accepted as a friend, an equal, by the vast majority of young people whom I encounter.  Maybe it’s the fact that I respect them for their strengths and gifts, and try not to dominate, but I feel their acceptance is genuine.  They neither refrain from correcting what they feel I might be doing wrong, in a loving way, nor do they hold back appreciation of what I do on their behalf.  The honesty permeates our relationships, and I don’t think it is just a feature of naivete or idealism.  Millennials have not had the luxury of idealism, without attendant action.  Every dream they have ever entertained has had to be followed up with intense action.  There will be no “Flower Power” phase on this watch.

Besides Aram, I count four particular people of the Millennial Generation as friends who have my back, no matter what.  Three of them are women.  While I begrudge nothing of older men who have taken Millennial women as mates, such an arrangement is not my purpose.  I love them as friends, and encourage their romantic life to be with their age-mates.

It is also true that I have many friends among all generations, including my own.  They, too, invariably relate well to “the kids”.  This is what sustains us, and will bring us along, through what ever calamities and troubles that will occur, as the world is cleansed.