The Tiredness and The Shame

August 9, 2023- With slumped shoulders and a downcast expression, she handed me a pink tardy slip, apologizing as if the entirety of her lateness was her doing, alone. I suspected otherwise, and asked for a few more details, which the child was relieved to be able to share.

All too many children, it seems, are caught between dependence on those who are barely able to care for themselves-and actually having to raise themselves. The little girl has good judgment, so in the long term, I’d say her prospects for a solid adulthood are quite good. She does not suffer fools gladly-a good thing in my book, nor does she sneer at people who see things a bit differently than she. She also has strong, clear boundaries-which I have advised children to inculcate, as long as I have been advising in general.

D was tired, and felt shame at that fatigue. “I went to bed early enough”, she offered, “It seems the morning comes too soon.” No one, to my reckoning, should have to feel shame at physical states-and I communicated as much. There are too many variables involved in the matter of sleep, as with other health matters-and pre-adolescence, a swell as the change that follows it, are filled with interruptions, expansions and contractions that are bound to try anyone’s patience. How well I remember my own years of transition from childhood to youth!

I left her alone, with her close friend, and being a responsible soul, she pulled herself together enough to complete an assignment and launch into the next activity. When it came time to leave, though, she was first on the way to the bus line.

D, and about a dozen of her peers, have joined the community that lives in my heart. I will look out for her, whenever I can.

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