February 4,2024- One can never tell about other people, each and every time they are encountered. Growing up, and into adulthood, several of my male friends operated on the premise: “She’s above your level” or “She’s in a different league.” I often wondered about very attractive girls and women, especially as to “Do they really see themselves as above certain guys?” There were a couple of snooty women, when I was in Community College, but I left them to themselves and pursued other friendships. 

Stratification tends to fail, in the long run. Each of us should be okay with choosing who we date, court and marry. Settling for anyone who comes along is not fair, either to self or to the one with whom one is “making do”. Neither, though, is being so selective that virtually no one can meet one’s criteria. I was plenty happy with my wife of 29 years, though neither of us were close to perfection. I was not expecting to meet Penny, when I did. I was not expecting to lose her to disease, either. Fast forward, 12.5 years, and I wasn’t expecting to meet K, a few months ago, but I did. Attraction sure is a funny thing, and it can lead to some beautiful results, so long as both parties keep things in perspective. The way in which relationships develop depends entirely on how much respect and compassion each person has for the other’s life experience.

These thoughts came into my mind, when I spoke with a young friend, who is like a daughter to me. Uncertain about her social life, and drifting along, she has fallen into a pattern of over-reacting to other people. In the few minutes she had to speak with me, I conveyed the message that she has first to see herself as worthy of respect and love. Men will pick up on where a woman is, in terms of self-esteem-and the wrong ones will take full advantage. It works that way, conversely, as well. Wreck-it-Ralph and Ravaging Rita are two sides of the same coin. There is, finally, the caveat about not assuming things about people, based on random observations. Generally speaking, one who is given to jumping to conclusions had better make sure the parkour skills are up to speed.