Monthly Archives: April 2024

Power Language

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 19, 2024- When I was a child, the concept that every blow delivered would be followed by an equal and opposite retaliatory strike was alien to me. I thought, naively, that a simple exchange of blows was enough for each boy to express his annoyance at the situation. My opponents uniformly believed that there had to be a winner and a loser.

There has been much discussion, over the past five years, about Love Language-the way in which an individual gives and receives love. My love language, for example, is acts of service. Words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch are secondary love languages-expressed only to a certain few.

Power is also a concept that is expressed in “languages” of sorts. (These are only my thoughts on the matter.) The power languages I have ascertained are persuasion, coercion, diminution, guilt-mongering and inclusion. The first and last are positive means to power. The second, third and fourth are negative, if not neurotic, power languages.


Both persuasion and inclusion involve patience, flexibility and a regard for others that is equal to one’s self-regard. Persuasion entails a commitment to a lengthy engagement with those whose agreement and co-operation are desired. Inclusion entails an inherent regard for the other person’s, or group’s, sense of self-worth. Inclusion is a longer game, in which the perception of power, coming from within the self, is large enough a reservoir that the individual sees others as being of the same worth as self. The two power languages do not entail a lesser view of either oneself or any other human being. They may even extend to non-human animals, plants, funga and spirits.

Coercion, often involving physical force, but also including bribery, co-opting, blackmail and obfuscation, is the most common historical power language. Even in modern times, the cynic’s Golden Rule, “He who has the gold makes the rules”, has silenced those whose financial or time-management skills are sufficiently wanting, that a keen observer who is hungry for power can leverage the person’s weakness and buy or intimidate them into giving up their agency.

Diminution, the convincing of social groups of their own unworthiness and of the superiority of others, is a second very common historical power language. It is the modus operandi of the plantation, of the colonial system and of patriarchy. Diminution depends on a top-down decision-making apparatus. It goes beyond the sensible system of parenthood, infantilizes women, disempowers adolescents, and instills a sense of superiority in members of a dominant culture. This is most obvious in the notions of White Supremacy and Male Superiority, but is also true of any culture where a dominant group trivializes the contributions of marginalized communities.

Guilt-mongering is the “when all else fails” power language of dominance. It features self-as-victim, gaslighting, false equivalence and an “after all I’ve done for you” pitch, each of which is like a rock in a shoe, designed to nettle and disrupt the other’s concentration and sense of well-being. It manifests itself in endless legal appeals and slow-walking of valid processes, just enough to create doubt and suspicion. It is a favoured tool of those among the well-connected who lack a moral compass. It is also a favoured tool of those in the media whose primary concern is generating revenue, at the expense of morality.

We are seeing a slow, but inexorable, move towards persuasion and inclusion as preferred power languages. The futility of coercion, diminution and guilt-mongering is being seen by more and more people around the world, as their perceived value is recognized, more and more, as impermanent, ephemeral and of scant overall value. The language of power will, in time, become linked to the language of love.

Gordian Knots

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

April 18,2024- A bit ago, a boy in an intermediate school was placed in detention, for hitting a girl classmate. He told the principal that he felt demeaned by the girl and her friends, so he did the only thing he knew-he lashed out.

Anxiety fuels fear, which fuels aggression, which fuels more anxiety and aggression-all tied up in a Gordian knot. The legend of Alexander the Great has the king using the expedient solution of cutting a complex knot with a sword, rather than trying to loosen and unravel it. Modern times find certain rulers using brute force, in an attempt to bring an end to “intractable” problems. Thus, a series of events that would be amusingly schoolboyish, were they not so chilling, are unfolding between two countries-in the guise of preservation of faith.

Thomas Sowell’s admonition that there are no solutions, only trade-offs, has never rung more true than in the matter of the conflict in western Asia. The resolution of this matter involves, essentially, two basic processes: 1. All people living within the borders of a nation-state need to have a full voice in the affairs of that nation-state, provided they are willing to abide by the laws of that nation-state; 2. Countries that neighbour one another need to fully honour the legitimate rights of all people in their neighbouring states, to say nothing of honouring the legitimate rights of their own citizens. The trade-offs will need to be worked out, but they cannot allow dominance of any one country, or national ideology, or authoritarian ruler, over its neighbours.

I’m keeping an eye on the situation in western Asia, at least for the effect it will have on my plans for Autumn, which presently involve transit stops in two airports in that region. Those places need to show a modicum of safety, in order for anyone to make even the briefest of stops. There is also the impact the conflict will have (is at least temporarily having) on global finance. The possibility exists that I may be working for wages in October, instead of visiting Baha’is in east Africa, after my September visit to the Philippines.

Fear triggers anxiety, which brings on aggression, triggering more fear and anxiety. I face all this, knowing that in either Plan A or Plan B, I will be okay on a personal level. Many communities and countries will get through the matter, just fine. There will, however, be vast areas, and millions of people, who won’t be at all fine-with the situations in Gaza, Darfur and Ukraine just the beginning, unless the Gordian Knots are untied, rather than cut.

Matching Parts

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 17,2024- I was asked, at the end of my last appearance in a particular school, this year, whether I enjoyed the class and the day.

Children squabble, and if gently but firmly kept from escalating their conflict, will move on and find common concerns over which to consult and move forward in friendship. Most times, an observant adult does well to not actively interfere in children’s interactions, other than to guarantee each child’s physical safety. I have found that honoured children will find their way to a place of balance, vis-a-vis relationships. There is often the element of a friendship, when two children seem overly concerned with one another-even if the concern is at first frictional.

Children and teens do look carefully at how the adults in their lives interact. The adults who are there for them are granted the most respect. That young people are sensitive to sensing abandonment should come as no surprise. That they may be slow to forgive someone who just “up and leaves”, like a parent who walks away from the family, is equally self-evident. Kids are the sum of their parents’ parts, and then some.

I have found many “matching parts” in my life-certainly Penny, who was with me for nearly thirty years, our son, Aram, my siblings and extended family, a wide variety of friends, many of whom I count as professional colleagues and one with whom there is a developing bond. We each complement one another, in different ways-and I trust that my presence and actions are of some value to each of them as they are to me.

Yes, I did enjoy the class and the day, as each child with whom I worked learned at least part of a skill set that will serve her/him well, in the years ahead. I enjoy being a part of their whole.

Turnarounds

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 16, 2024- The nine-year-old said, matterfactly, that he had stopped himself, twice today, from acting out and engaging in negative actions. He started to misbehave, then decided it would be better to act as a leader. He is the oldest child in his classroom, and it was also important that a girl, who is his friend in another classroom, does not approve of acting out.

I routinely think of my own actions and speech. Do they fit what is becoming of someone in a leadership role? Would my spirit guides approve? Would the woman I love the most, to say nothing of my dear friends, be happy or would they be dismayed? It is of the utmost importance, to hold oneself to a gold standard.

There are all manner of turnarounds that are occurring in this time of transition. Some can be attributed to climatic change, to El Nino or La Nina. Deserts, from Death Valley, California to the Arabian Peninsula and the Dasht-e-Lut, of Iran, are experiencing intense rain that has not been seen in modern times. The United Arab Emirates and Oman are virtually shut down, from the flooding that has ensued. These desert countries are not alone. Rainfall has intensified in Central Asia and western Siberia, as well, and the Cone of South America, especially Argentina and Uruguay, had an extraordinarily wet summer (December-January). Conversely, the islands of Southeast Asia are experiencing a drought, as the tail-end of El Nino runs its course.

Transitions and turnarounds are apt to continue for at least the next fifteen months, both in a climatic sense and in our daily lives, as the solar maximum plays out, between now and September, 2025. Nothing really surprises me, anymore.

Mislaid Plans

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Hiking and Nature, Historical, impediments, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Striving

April 15, 2024- The rock that lined the unpaved road was navigated very slowly, as I drove along, looking for a place called Jeronimo’s Cabin. It was not that of the great Apache warrior, but belonged to one Jeronimo Pena, a lumberjack who lived alone on Mingus Mountain, from the 1920s until his death, in 1957. He transported his cords of wood using his burros, having cut the wood using a crosscut saw-strictly low tech and living a simple life, preferring to forage for his food, and that of the burros.

It happened that I turned left, about ten yards too soon, following a track that was just shy of the parking area, from which I could have walked the trail that leads to the cabin. I left the hike for another time, until I could more completely research the matter (which I did tonight, upon returning home.) The rub came, when I found that a piece of shale had become embedded in the front right tire. When I managed to get the resulting flat to a shop, the puncture turned out to be irreparable. Shale can be a very tough adversary, even when one takes a road with slow diligence.

Jerome, with Haunted Hamburger and Flatiron Coffee House, was a silver lining to all this. I was also able to get a good deal on the two back tires, which needed replacing, prior to my upcoming cross-country journey. There is always a future pay-off for a short term setback, if one pays attention. I will find Jeronimo’s Cabin, sometime in June, or in late Fall, before it snows. Not having to go on the shale-flecked road again, will be a bonus.

Wind Alert

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Hiking and Nature, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 14, 2024- I got a report, from somewhere, that someone I met once, last Spring, had suffered the indignity of his hair catching fire. He is okay, just a bit unnerved and probably giving his scalp an aloe bath, for a day or two.


Although it was not due to the brisk wind that we have in Arizona, during the month of April and into early May, the incident underscored the danger that all of us keep in the back of our minds. I spent part of yesterday helping install smoke detectors, in a small town, about an hour southeast of here. The season of high winds and dry skies is upon us, so being fire wise is a huge undertaking. I will spend part of next Sunday raking pine needles, at a site where I have spent a good part of the month of June, for the past three years. The forest is always at risk, so it is not too soon to start preparing.

Walking downtown and over to a place where there was a concert on the patio, I found I had to hold my desert sun hat, that is probably one size too small, several times, as the gusts came and went. The grilled cheese and salad, and the acoustic guitarist, were worth the occasional gust, even on the patio. My food didn’t blow away, but someone’s beer glass was blown over, and the impromptu clean-up crew took care of business. That’s what people do for one another here. Both the hapless lady and her husband were given refills on the house.

I was born under the sign of fire, but preventing it from being destructive is as much, if not more than, my mission as using it carefully to cook and purify. Stay fire wise, wherever you may be.

Sunset Pioneers

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 13, 2024- Last night, I pondered what role medication has played in my mother’s recent health woes. A friend here has had his medication adjusted, at his daughters’ insistence, and the barely cognizant soul, who had us all concerned , has resumed being his relatively feisty self. Apparently, Mom’s doctor had similar thoughts, and the resulting adjustments have made her a bit more like her old self.

This is good news for us all, and while we are not under any illusion, as to the long-term, being able to follow her instructions, that I not give short shrift to my obligations here, will be true to both her steadfast insistence over the years, that our word should be our bond and to my own sense of integrity. So long as her condition is stable, I will keep on with activities in Home Base I, both Baha’i and secular, and will head out across the continent, in the evening of April 28.

We are each pioneering our sunset years: Mom, my siblings, most of my cousins, surviving aunts, a good many of my friends, including my dearest, and yours truly. That means as many different things as there are of us. It means varying health challenges, of which thankfully I have very few, to date and which most have faced with a great deal of fortitude and resilience. I am proud of each one who has faced down aching joints, diabetes and macular degeneration, with corrective surgery, both natural and allopathic cures and a steady regimen of physical therapy. It means having a can-do spirit.

This most recent scare has reminded one and all that family comes first, then community and after that, the wider humanity. I stand firm on each of those counts. This pioneering life will continue in good stead.

The Flow of Life

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 12, 2024- During the course of the day, at least 64 people donated blood, in a small conference suite of Frontier Village, a Prescott shopping center, located 2.1 miles from the center of town. Each person potentially saved the life of a hospitalized individual, a victim of a fire, or of a car crash, or a beating. In the days when assaults on strangers seem to be increasing, sixty-four people chose to help someone they did not know. A few of them told me, the registrar of the Blood Drive, of how someone else had once helped a family member in need.

Across the country, my mother is alert, mildly talkative, still taking minimal nutrients, and pondering the flow of life. She is ninety-five years of age, has seen four children and ten grandchildren grow to adulthood. She is seeing nineteen great-grandchildren grow into solid human beings. Through it all,she has been a stellar example of how to face challenges, head-on. Her life is flowing towards the delta that is the gateway to the ocean of eternity. It has been, by all indications, a grand journey.

Here in Home Base I, increasing numbers of people are facing the reckoning that always comes with ignoring a simple rule of life: Other people matter, every bit as much as oneself does. The person in a crosswalk, the rider of a motorcycle, a bicycle or a skateboard, the person standing in line ahead of you are not objects to be conveniently shoved aside or targets to be struck by a vehicle. Red lights, stop signs and temporary barriers, or detours, are not nuisances to be ignored, out of a desire for convenience. People who hold an opinion that differs from one’s own are not monsters to be slain or idiots to be publicly humiliated. I know that every community faces a similar challenge, in a world that still is plagued by anonymity and self-absorption. That self-absorption, though, is always headed towards a dead end.

The flow of life will ever go, in the direction that the Universe intends, and while that sometimes seems to head in odd tangents, in the end, it will likewise find its way to the Most Great Ocean.

Mom

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 11, 2024- It is the flower gardens, that you and Dad tended so carefully, that I recall with the most delight. The yard invited us to get out and exercise-sometimes in play; other times, at work, helping Dad move those seemingly endless rocks. The lawn was my pride and joy, and was mowed every Saturday, once all the shoes were polished.

You have always said that the time to honour someone is during the living years, and you have practiced that, with every breath. I awoke this morning to the news that you are getting ever more tired, taking more and more rest. Darling, you have earned it, like no other. So it is time to honour you, while you still can read it.

I don’t remember what you described as a cramped apartment, on Gooch Street, Melrose. My first real memory was sharing a crib, with my baby sister, if only for a week or two. You instilled in us, that we were to share. Some days, I didn’t want to, but the rule stayed in place, and I am better for it; we all are.

You taught us that work was sacred. What we produced was the most important aspect of our lives, so long as it was put forth with love. You raised four strong people to adulthood, and even though one of us, me, has stumbled on occasion, the roadmap you and Dad gave us was there, when I was ready to find my way back. You took care of your youngest child, our brother, with a passion that set the tone for every one of us, in our own dealings with adversity. That example gave me clear vision, when my own time came to face the fire, as my beloved wife became disabled, and a bright shining light went into decline.

There was no daylight between the straight and narrow, and what awaited us, if we went off the path that was set. With that, you gave us discipline, and it has served each of us well. You stressed that no part of life was to be neglected, and that no failure was permanent-or even to be normalized. Each time that I’ve stumbled and fallen, you told me to get back up, and I did. Each time that I came to you with an injury, I was given the path to recovery, and took it. Each time that I wondered what you thought of my life path, your only concern was that I was happy on it.

So now, whether this is a momentary eclipse, a slow movement towards sunset or merely an overcast sky, know that you have long been the brightest sun in my life, Mother Dear. Every other bright star in my sky shines in your shadow. Your sun is ever in my heart.

Pure and Simple

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 10, 2024- Pre-algebra has found its way into the upper elementary curriculum. Perhaps it was a logical outgrowth of “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”, the 2000s quiz show, but here we are.

I personally favour upping the game. Science tells us that the human brain has been getting bigger. https://health.ucdavis.edu/news/headlines/human-brains-are-getting-larger-that-may-be-good-news-for-dementia-risk/2024/03. That, plus the increased access to information, from a wide variety of sources, is having a genetic and anatomically adaptive effect on the thinking process.

Today, my work was mostly to help specific students grasp the concepts of simile and metaphor (Fifth grade) then it was on to a few classes (Sixth grade) that were simplifying algebraic sentences, such as 2x +8 -x-6. There was no value given for the variable. That will probably come in the first months of seventh grade. It is enough for the students to get used to the arrangement of numbers and variables. Of course, given the observations above, it may well be that several students are able to get further into basic algebra, before this academic year ends.

I am grateful for the few days that remain in my work semester. As mentioned earlier, every job successfully completed is a solid step forward.