Category Archives: Assistance

Pre-Approved

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 22, 2024- An earnest woman offered advice to her long-time friend, regarding how to handle a nettlesome and persistent critic. He left the conversation, quietly, and headed home. A short time later, he called her and announced he was cutting ties with her, saying she was being unfair to the other person. Her own cage rattled, the lady called another friend, who told her to not pay heed to the man. “You are not worthless; you are pre-approved”.

We all know about “pre-approved”-the ploy by certain credit bureaus and financial institutions to get us to pursue lines of credit and personal loans, at what look like generous terms. Most often, a closer will come in, hem and haw and bring the deal to a good, old-fashioned shut down.

We humans are, however, pre-approved by the Creator, in the truest sense of the term. We each come with strengths, offerings, challenges to meet. Many of these are shared with others, but always in a way unique to the bearer. Each of us can make a special mark, or collaborate with those around us to create a tower of strength.

None of this depends on the approval of those on the outside of the process. Monday Morning quarterbacks can be useful in suggesting ways to correct errors in a given process, but they are not entitled to dismantle the effort, nor are they in a position to drag those who are in the vanguard of the action through the mud.

Post-mortems are best carried out by those who have given their all. Their skills, their energy, their willpower is pre-approved.

“How’s That for Love?”

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 19, 2024- So says Kate, the adolescent daughter of a pediatric surgeon and an intelligence operative, to her mother, after hugging her father, after he’d been attacked by the father of one of his patients. This began the second episode of “Lioness”.

Love doesn’t always come easily and even the deepest is not always requited. We humans always need to have free will, before any kind of attachment or commitment can be made. I am no different, in that regard. There are those whom I have placed in the categories of friend, or extended sibling, who once wished that I would offer a different, more intimate role in my life.

Then, there are situations where mutual love exists, but the life experiences of one or both parties serve as blocks to the free expression of that love. A fear of commitment may follow the sudden death of a spouse, after which there was no time for grieving, for processing, for closure. Compound that by the incomplete grieving of one’s children, and the wariness is multiplied.

The real deal, in this set of circumstances, places the needs of the loved one, and the loved one’s family, front and center. Nothing changes, in the lover’s self-concept. Alternative plans are prepared, just in case, but the communication does not stop. Life goes on, in every other avenue of endeavour, while every effort continues to help the beloved achieve dreams and goals. There is wide latitude given, in the hope that the grieving over the prior loss can resume, and become complete. There is a standing offer of emotional and spiritual support.

How’s that for love?

Little Bubbles Burst

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 15, 2024- The young boy was at the end of his rope, sitting with an otherwise all-adult crowd, listening to songs not intended for his ears, because his mother had no choice other than to bring him along. Chairs were strung together, he laid down on them and managed to sleep for 30 minutes or so. The singer of ribald tunes noticed and sheepishly apologized, after his collaborator in the artists’ nook gave him The Look. The fare was noticeably more family friendly afterward. One little bubble got burst.

Not long ago, a woman frantically berated her co-worker for having stated that she voted a conservative slate, up and down ballot, almost two weeks ago. “You’re Mexican! Don’t you care that these guys are going to throw us all in private prison!!” The chastised one looked up and said, “Remember Vicente Fox? Adolfo Lopez Mateos? Besides, you and I are native born U.S. citizens. We need to be safe from the sicarios. The tough guys will do that for us.” Neither bubble was burst, by this conversation, but at least it happened.

The doctors, in a small urban hospital, on an island far to the northeast, routinely dismissed women who came to them with chronic pain. The issues presented seemed too “intractable”. Problems are supposed to just go away, when one is overburdened by being part of a short staff. That all stopped, when one of the “frequent flyers” up and died-from the cancer that was missed. The bubble of preconceived notions was burst, and loudly.

Our mental bubbles seem to keep us safe; until they don’t.

Third Thoughts

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 12, 2024, Carson City- So often, when faced with novel situations, the mind goes through several gyrations-like the “lassie” in the nursery rhyme, who went “this way and that”. It can be confusing to onlookers, but it is frequently the only way a person can figure out the best way to work through the situation. Second thoughts can be overruled by third thoughts, as is the case with my dearest, right now.

So it is, with K and me, with regard to the possibility of my moving to be closer to her, in late Spring of next year. Some discussions will take place, through messaging, over the next three months, and in-person, when I next go back to the Philippines, in February. Stay tuned, and nothing is carved in stone.

I went to visit with the family of a long-time friend, who passed on while I was in Manila, last month. They spoke a lot about her earlier life and about their sibling’s adoption, so many years ago. They are showing cohesion as a family, a tribute to all the work their parents did to keep things together. Constant consultation kept peace in the house, when there were differing opinions.

While I was driving up here from Beatty, earlier today, I got a Bluetooth call from a friend who wanted to discuss a long-standing issue between him and another friend. The conversation revealed deeper issues than the matter being raised, and I urged the friend to be bold and reach out, in an unobtrusive manner to the person viewed as causing the problem.

Second thoughts often lead to third thoughts, and to resolution.

A Sane and Intelligent Patriotism

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 11,2024-

“Let there be no misgivings as to the animating purpose of the world-wide Law of Baha’u’llah. Far from aiming at the subversion of the existing foundations of society, it seeks to broaden its basis, to remold its institutions in a manner consonant with the needs of an ever-changing world. It can conflict with no legitimate allegiances, nor can it undermine essential loyalties. Its purpose is neither to stifle the flame of a sane and intelligent patriotism in men’s hearts, nor to abolish the system of national autonomy so essential if the evils of excessive centralization are to be avoided.”- Shoghi Effendi, The World Order of Baha’u’llah, pgs 41-42.

Relatively few people, deep down, are hateful towards their families. There are always disagreements and sometimes outright quarrels, but let an outsider attack a member of the brood, and the wagons will circle.

Go up the chain, towards community, state and nation-and the same process will play out. There are nations where the populace is restive, and outwardly disdainful of their government. Let someone from outside the group try and enter the fray, however, and there will be a united front.

Our feelings towards our families, communities, states/provinces/prefectures/oblasts, and our nations are each a reflection of how we see ourselves. An emotionally and physically healthy person has positive self-regard, love of family and healthy appreciation for, with a degree of loyalty towards, her/his surroundings. It is second nature for a human being to defend self; for parents to stand up for children, and vice versa; for siblings, and even cousins, to band together; for neighbours to support one another, in time of need; and for the citizens of a nation to defend their homeland.

In this day, it is also imperative for the human race to stand together, in the best interests of our species as a whole. This does not mean militarizing against a still-ephemeral race, or races, of extraterrestrials. It means coming together to devise solutions to threats against our collective existence. Some are the results of natural cycles and others are wrought by human activity. We are a vast multitude of imperfect beings. Every one of us has made mistakes, and many of those errors have had ill effects on others, besides ourselves. Collectively, by dint of excessive self-centered behaviour or just in the course of trying to live an ordered life, we have exacerbated, ramped up the effects of a natural increase in global temperatures-yes, that global warming. It would happen anyway, because it’s a natural cycle, but our actions, as a species, have made it worse.

So, what is a sane and intelligent patriotism? To me, it is simply a love for all the units to which one belongs, a willingness to band together with others, and to work, tirelessly, for the good of the homeland. Our homeland, in addition to our nation, is Planet Earth.

“The earth is but one country and mankind its citizens”-Baha’u’llah, Lawh-i-Maqsud (Tablet of Intention)

Tomorrow in America……

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 5, 2024- Tomorrow in America, there will still be country music, R &B and all manner of pop and rock. The Philharmonic and Symphony Orchestras will still tune up and play. Basketball and hockey games will proceed, in their scheduled venues. Pro Football players will be practicing, anticipating the next games. Stores and restaurants will open, as usual.

Tomorrow in America, Taylor Swift, Beyonce and Ariana Grande will still be singing. So will Lee Greenwood, Travis Tritt and John Rich. The stock markets will be open, going up or down as they see fit. People will gather in coffee houses, and will talk with friends, or work their laptops or put their thoughts down on paper.

Tomorrow in America, Tim Walz will go back to governing Minnesota. JD Vance will return to representing Ohio in the U.S. Senate. Kamala Harris will resume her Vice Presidential duties, while Donald Trump may go out and play 9 holes, or maybe 12. Their supporters will ponder what to do with all that signage, and those who sported political t-shirts and sweat shirts will put them in storage. Candidates for lesser posts will either head back to their day jobs, or go to their attorneys’ offices, to draw up litigation. Elon Musk will go back to making cars and space shuttles.

Tomorrow in America, we ordinary citizens will focus on our loved ones, and on what is right in front of us. I will rise between 5-6, get myself together and communicate with my Lord, then with my beloved (before she has to go to sleep, on the other side of the Pacific). I will head up to the top of Mingus Mountain and down a bit, to Jerome. There, I will spend time pondering gems and minerals, symbols of the beauty that will outlast most of the living things on Earth. I will reflect on the greatness of this nation, which has not gone away. I will reflect on the wonders of this planet, which will not go away for another billion years or so, if then.

Tomorrow in America, life will go on.

A Tanay Excursion-Part II

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 26, 2024, Manila- With a successful extraction from the muddy road behind us, the five adventurers took to more settled sites-the joys of central Tanay. First off was a fairly new church, Padre Pio Chapel. Here, the ladies indulged in another pose. Kathy could pose forever, and it would not get old.

Tres amigas, at Padre Pio Chapel, Tanay

We got directions from there to a chicken restaurant, Mang Inasal, in Tanay Town Center, where we enjoyed chicken inasal- grilled breast or leg. I covered this part of the meal. K bought us all Halo Halo, a treat that layers shaved us and frozen condensed milk, with bits of fruit.

Following that delectable capstone to today’s journey, we headed over to San Ildfeonso de Toledo Catholic Church, built in 1563. There, we watched a procession of clergy and parishioners, quite common in the Philippines, following Sunday evening Mass.

Procession outside San Ildefonso de Toledo Church, Tanay
Courtyard of San Ildefonso de Toledo Church

After the procession cleared, we made our way over to Tanay Wawa Park, where a small lighthouse stands on the north side of the brackish Laguna de Bay Lake, actually an inlet of Manila Bay. The lake itself is a rich fishing haven, with sea grass and water lilies in abundance, adding a relaxing air to the park.

Wawa, a thriving fishing village, south of Tanay (Above and below)
Tilapia, freshly caught: To buy or not to buy. K and I concluded that lack of a cooler was a problem.
We were satisfied with the decision.
After talking with the fisherfolk, and my climbing the steps up to the top of Tanay Wawa Lighthouse, we headed back towards Manila-but not before stopping at Opus Mall, one of Pasig City’s most opulent. There, a “personal need” became the pretext for more photos. You have to know, I am a willing photographer.

Thus ended one of the sweetest days of this journey.

After Effects

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 25, 2024, Manila- Today produces a short and sweet note. The lingering effects of Typhoon Kristine have left museums shuttered, due to staff being asked not to travel and parks closed for maintenance, due to debris everywhere and fallen trees. So, I got to hang out and catalogue my photographs from Ayala Museum and Dumaguete.

Kathy has organized one last outing for this visit, to a town northeast of here, in a mountainous region. That will happen tomorrow, and four other ladies will join us. Group outings have long been a Filipino tradition and I have seen only joy and laughter coming from groups that travel in this way. We’ve had some great times together, both last year and this. I will do whatever I can to make sure this continues.

The after effects of love and kindness are more love and kindness. Those of hardness and distancing are either more hardness and distancing, or a mature soul saying “Enough” and showing the way to a kinder, gentler way of dealing with each other. The after effects of a persistent, but humble way of generosity and caring are a gradual softening of the resistance put up by someone who has suffered much in the past.

These are just some of the thoughts that run through my mind, on this lazy day after the latest typhoon.

Typhoon

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 24, 2024, Manila- I rode the Light Rail to United Nations Station and walked over to the museum complex, thinking I would visit those floors at the Natural History and nearby Fine Arts, that I had missed last time. A tricycle driver told me everything was closed. This made sense-more sense than this one heading out in the rain, even though my umbrella did its job. The national government took care of its workers and sent all non-essential staff home early.

Typhoon Kristine is here, and is dumping heavy rain, so that the streets are rivers, for the second time this visit. I have checked in with the residents of the Baha’i Center and advised them to shelter upstairs. Here at Ola! Hostel, we are all on the second floor or above, and even the staff are on a mezzanine level, safe from flooding. Kathy and her sons are on an upper floor of their building, so no worries about them. Somehow, the street people will also survive. This is de rigueur for them and most will take to fire escapes or hunker in lobbies of large buildings, including car parks-or in one of the 7-11s or Lawton’s Convenience Marts, which are open 24 hours a day.

Severe weather is just part of experiencing a place, and if I follow my current plan, typhoons will be a routine part of my life, in a year or so, just as hurricanes, monsoonal rains, blizzards and dust storms have all been, elsewhere. By 11 p.m., the rain is expected to subside and tomorrow will come, gray and damp, but without the flooding. We are all okay.

Sky Way

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 23, 2024, Manila- The area between the entrance to Terminal 3 and the taxi stands, at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, is rife with touts, every one of whom wants to charge double or triple the fare charged by metered taxis, or even GRAB (Uber-type) vehicles. I have learned to walk straight ahead, saying “Excuse me!”, in a firm tone. The lady who mocked, saying “Get out of way!”, was a GRAB imposter, who still wanted twice the fare. I told her no, and went over to the meter booth.

The driver took me to Ola! Hostel, via the Skyway, for which the passenger (rightfully, in my view) pays the toll of 35 PhP (Philippine pesos) on top of the fare. It is a much nicer drive, with little slow downs and, at lunch time anyway, no gridlock. I arrived at Ola! seventeen minutes after leaving NAIA.

It has just been that sort of day. I was very warmly welcomed back to the hostel, and to the Baha’i Center, in late afternoon. My darling had news of her own: She has landed the job that she had sought, before last week’s loss of a dear Baha’i community member and this past weekend’s art gallery opening ( by K’s good friend), which I missed for the sake of connecting with an old friend from Mesa, AZ, who now lives in Dumaguete, Negros Oriental.

She will be busy for several months, and that’s a good thing. I will also be busy, once I get back to Home Base I. There is a lot going on, just before the election and immediately afterward. November and December promise to pass with lightning speed. Through all of it, I will be encouraging Kathy, every day. I will see her again in February, during a short visit here, that will focus on a few important tasks.

Picking up on the ways to navigate this sometimes chaotic, but vibrant, society is coming to me organically. There are aspects that will also be very useful in the months to come, back in the United States.