The Road to Diamond, Day 83: True Friends

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February 19, 2025- The ride back to Prescott had a nice twist of an ending. I was let off of the shuttle closer to Home Base I, as the driver was “running late” and my normal rendezvous point was out of the way. It helped that the driver was a former co-worker, who remembered me from one of the schools.

The person who was my prime reason for having gone to the Philippines, these past two visits, is the biggest fan of my work with Red Cross-and that is what matters most. She stands with me, the way so many in this town stand with me. She is keeping track of my experiences during these next six months.

I was welcomed back, by two friends in Phoenix, who have invited me to their home, early in March. These are people I have known for thirty-five years. One of them is Javanese, related to Filipino, and wants to hear more of what I experienced this past visit.

These are but three of the countless true friends who have stood by me, some for decades, others for the past fourteen years and still others of more recent vintage. True friends are not transactional or conditional with their loyalty. They are not sycophantic with their devotion. For me, thankfully, they are my source of heart wealth. They are found all over the globe.

The Road to Diamond, Day 82: Soft Landing

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February 18, 2025, Los Angeles- The plane seemed to barely touch ground, here at Los Angeles World Airport, (as the Cathay Pacific pilot referred to this grand sprawl. It was, further, not a long wait to go through Customs and Immigration, or to find lodging here, in advance of my flight back to Phoenix early tomorrow morning.

The sometimes frenetic outpouring of “Welcome back! Now let’s do these two dozen things, in the next two days” was not seen tonight. I have a stock answer to that-“My schedule is set until Friday morning, and Saturday is already booked-by service activities”. That should take care of things for a few days.

Seriously, though, my next several months will be largely about preps for the Fire and Flood season. My friend told me, more or less, that focusing on one Big Thing at a time is really best, and it makes the most sense to me. Besides, every other thought that has come into my mind, over the past two weeks, has been about disaster mitigation.

I spent the waking portion of the trans-Pacific flight, about four hours, re-watching “Apocalypse Now” and watching the Italian film, “Familia”. The former, as many know, is about dystopia, in our time-a cautionary tale about megalomania and the hellscape of war. The second is about the inability of men, in particular, to get enough hold of their insecurities that the women in their lives be treated with the dignity due them-and about the dichotomy between the way a husband treats his wife and a son treats his mother. “Familia” also touches on the neo-Fascism of Italy, from the 1990s to the present.

We have our struggles in the United States of America, right now, but nothing like those described above-yet.

The Road to Diamond, Day 81: “The Last Ten Minutes”

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February 18, 2025, Hong Kong- I actually have time to sit and enjoy this spacious facility, after a brief and pleasant hop from Manila.

My friend, Kathy, has a descriptor for the late phase of any event, activity or process: The last ten minutes. She mentioned, in last night’s coming to terms between us, that we were, generally speaking, in that phase of our lives. My silent retort was that I intend to soak up every nanosecond. She later, independently, gave voice to the same sentiment, regarding her own life. Vindicated!!

We have had far more interesting conversations today, with the vagaries of romance having been set aside. One of the points she brought up was that one can really only do justice to one major personal event or process at a time.

For me, this would be taking the lead in Red Cross Disaster Cycle Response for Yavapai and Mohave Counties, Arizona- particularly from late May to early September, aka the Fire and Flood Season.

It makes no sense to play juggler. Rushing back to Manila would be little more than an act of giddiness, and I’m a bit long in the tooth for giddy.

She has some equally cogent plans, helping her younger son complete his education and a possible upgrade to a Baha’i- owned property in Metro Manila. We are pulling for one another. At some point in the next few years, I will visit “the Phils” again, because several people would like to see me again, and some of them will be visiting here, over the next little while.

For now, though, I’m in a good place, headed back to a place where I might “shine” as my friend put it.

The Road to Diamond, Day 79: Affirmations and A Temple Site

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February 16, 2025, Manila- Two of the adults, of whom I spoke yesterday, have offered me a place of residence, in a city about an hour south of Manila. This gives me a landing place, once I am able to draw down my time in Arizona. That could reasonably be accomplished, in a caring and dignified manner, by the end of May, at the latest. There are organizations about whom I care deeply: Red Cross, Prescott Farmers Market, Slow Food-Prescott-and the Baha’i Community, in which I want to help foster and nurture leadership. There are friends who will never leave my heart, who need to know that they have nothing to do with my moving. I have made it crystal clear who the impetus for the transition is. She is still very much my primary focus, aside from my little family, who themselves would be cause for returning to the U.S., at the drop of a hat. I will have quality time with them and other family members, in early-to-mid May.

All these things come to mind, following my first visit to the site of a future Baha’i House of Worship for the Phiippines. It is in the city of Antipolo, about 17.6 km (10.9 mi) east northeast of Manila. There was a gathering for the election of a delegate to the Baha’i National Convention for the Philippines, which will be held at the end of April. There was the usual fantastic pot luck lunch (adobo, inasal and creamed cauliflower were abundant-as was white rice, of which I took only a small helping.) There was spirited, but always respectful consultation-most of it in Tagalog, so I understood only small snippets, but I could tell the civil and elevated nature of the discourse, by watching body language. K was busy elsewhere, but it was enjoyable to hang out a bit with a couple of her family members, and get to know them better. The vibrant gathering of 45 people was welcoming and supportive of my considering living in their country. Children were free to play at their own developmental games. Dogs, cats and goats wandered about the grounds, interacting with people-mostly for scraps of food, though they are all well-fed by the caretakers.

Here are a few scenes of the Temple Site grounds.

Gathering site for a small business meeting, future Baha’i Temple site, Antipolo, Rizal, Philippines
Fruit tree grove, Baha’i property, Antipolo
Gathering of participants at Baha’i Unit Convention, Antipolo

After the meeting, as we drove back to Manila, it occurred to me that I was becoming more familiar with the roads around the Metro area. I could even help navigate a driver, if asked. Just don’t ask me to drive in the Metro-there are too many motorcyclists, coming every which way.

The Road to Diamond, Day 78: 17 Presidents, 1 Scoop of Rice and 12 Line Dancers

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February 15,2025, Manila- This is my last weekend in the Philippines, pending a few decisions on this end. Those choices will determine what I decide, once I get back to Home Base I. I leave the adults who are making those determinations to their quiet spaces and mindsets.

Today, though, was full of Philippine history, dinner at Mall of Asia, followed by a visit to Okada Casino, in Paranaque. Let’s look at Malacanang Museum-the heritage center of Malacanan Palace. For a description of the reasons behind this distinction, see: https://carlakalay.wordpress.com/2017/09/08/malacanan-or-malacanang-the-philippines-version-of-the-white-house/.

We visited two museums, the first of which, Ugnavan House, housed details in the life of the current President, Ferdinand Marcos, II. These include a replica of the staircase in Malacanan Palace, which the incoming President ascends and the departing President descends.

Replica of the Presidential staircase of Malacanan Palace, found in Ugnavan House.

Bahay, is pronounced like Baha’i, and in Tagalog, it means “house”.

Entrance to the museum of the sitting President of the Philippines.

We listened to the life story and accomplishments, thus far, of President Marcos, Jr., then went to Teus Mansion, which houses the “Treasures of Malacanang”, the heritage of the sixteen past presidents of this country, beginning with Emilio Aguinaldo, who served for two years as President of a nascent Philippine Republic, from 1899-1901, during the country’s struggle for independence first from Spain, then from the United States. Aguinaldo never gave up his campaign for nationhood, even while imprisoned in the United States, and was honoured by each of his successors, including Diosdado Macapagal, who presided over a State Funeral when Aguinaldo died, in 1964. The Philippines have had a continuous series of Presidents since 1935, when Manuel Quezon was elected President of the Commonwealth of the Philippines, still under American tutelage. While Quezon and his Vice President, Sergio Osmena, were in the United States during the Japanese occupation of 1942-45, the country was administered by Jose P. Laurel, ostensibly a puppet ruler acting on behalf of the Japanese, but in reality a conduit for the Quezon-Osmena administration to keep close watch on the country.

The country has essentially moved forward in material progress, and has learned some hard lessons about the trade-off between that progress and the right of people to chart their own path.

The rise of material progress was evident at Mall of Asia, where we enjoyed dinner at a crowded Inasal. The ladies chose chicken and I tried pork belly (liempo). My scoop of rice was Java Rice, a good alternative to “unli” (unlimited) white rice. We all enjoyed halo halo, (ice cream and fruit, on a bed of shaved ice) for dessert.

Okada Casino Resort was sort-of on the way back to Manila, so we stopped there, to take in a show that featured line dancers, some gymnastics, a juggler and hoop dancers, a talented singer-and some spectacular fountain art.

Line and hoop dancers, Okada Resort
Fountain action, Okada Resort (above and below)
The pageant in pink
An odd butterfly with two angels.

My friends pull out all stops, when it comes to an enjoyable day. Tomorrow will be another one-at the Baha’i Temple Site, in the mountain city of Antipolo.

The Road to Diamond, Day 77: Heart House

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February 14, 2025, Manila- This woman I love looked appreciatively at the roses I had given her for Valentine’s Day-and gave one each to two of her friends who had not received flowers of their own. This is the mark of a human who has the true sense of what matters most in the world: No person needs to be left alone. This is but one example of why I am so close to leaving a comfortable life of fourteen years’ duration and adopting a simpler, but still salubrious, life, halfway around the world.

Anywhere K is, is a heart house. A group of six of us went to visit the home of the construction engineer, who managed the renovation of Manila Regional Baha’i Center. It was an exquisitely- crafted lunch of stewed barbecued chicken, with potatoes and eggplant. There was also a creamy dish of salmon belly, which I had never known was a dish. White rice, of course, was present, but neither K nor I took much of it. She was much more thrilled to have fruit cocktail in chilled milk curd, which I rather enjoyed as well. Earlier, K had asked me about three workers in the project, who were not riding with us to the event. Lo and behold, the three men showed up on their own, having been invited by the boss.

She leaves no one out, ever. After touring the boss’s home, we all went over, at K’s request, to visit a Baha’i friend who has been hospitalized. He was thrilled to see everyone and we spent almost an hour, before the Head Nurse announced it was time for him to rest. K and our hosts went to a nearby Jollibee and bought our friend his favourite chicken, as well as a dozen bananas and some over the counter medication that was approved by the Nurse.

Tomorrow, a small group of us will visit museums that are associated with Malacanang Palace, the residence of the President of the Philippines. Since I have never been in the White House and only on the grounds of Palais de L’Elysee, this will be yet another milestone that I’m sharing with the resident of my Heart House.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

The Road to Diamond, Day 75: Bunnies on Duty

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February 12, 2025, Manila- I shared these two with my beloved, this afternoon, as this was a light-hearted element in the midst of a hot, dusty setting, where a crew of four was pouring and grading cement.

Rabbits are a joy to have around, especially in an area where they are free of predators, and where they can leisurely nibble on fresh leafy greens. They don’t make noise, unless they are either in a state of bliss or one of annoyance/distress. See this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aWRBdOklX0

The watch bunnies would scream, if an odd cat or Philippine eagle were to show up and act as a predator, but these are few and far between, in this part of Manila. Cats are kept mostly indoors and eagles are not much for the lowlands. So, they patrol their yard for a time, and being diurnal, they go to sleep in their small corner of the yard, near the back door to the Manila Baha’i Center.

I am not doing much more than the rabbits, on this job site. We three are mostly here for emotional support.

The Road to Diamond, Day 72: Realizations

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February 9, 2025, Manila- A kindly woman said something that has occurred to me several times, but has slipped to the background of my thinking, with regard to my friendship with a special soul here. It is service together and enjoyment of just being together that matters most, in any relationship. The whole romance and courtship element that is so important, to so many, even among us seniors is actually of lesser importance to K and I. The longing to be together, to do things together, is very strong-as strong as it was with Penny. It does not, however, come with strictures and caveats, per se-other than a sense that I get from K, that I actually commit to being here for more than a few weeks..

Tomorrow, I will go with a mutual friend to look at a place where I might rent a condominium at a monthly rate, looking to live in this area for a year or so. If the place seems reasonable, then all the systematic changes that I would need to make in my life would be effected from the time I return to the United States, in the middle of next week (2/19) to the end of April. It will perhaps discomfit some in Home Base I, and elsewhere, but I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone, nor felt such reciprocal energy coming from the person, since 2011.

Unless things go drastically south in the next ten days, I know that this is the course I want to pursue. It’ll mean working with the Red Cross to train a team of Disaster Response volunteers for northwest Arizona, during March. It will mean putting some household items up for sale and giving much of the rest away, in early April and taking the rest to a storage unit. I would bring only two or three bags of items with me. It will mean a schedule of 9-10 months here and 2-3 months’ travel in the United States or other parts of the world.

It will also mean being readily adaptable, in this age when affairs large and small can turn on a moment’s notice.

The Road to Diamond, Day 71: Smoothing Rough Edges

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February 7, 2025, Manila- The otherwise courtly man awoke from his nap, and marched into the kitchen: “Where’s my coffee??” As the rest of us have been fixing our own caffeinated drinks, for as far back as I’ve been coming here, I was a bit nonplussed. The ladies in the kitchen were, however, furious, as was the construction project lead, who is every bit as much an advocate of women’s rights as I have been. The visitor got his cup of coffee prepared for him, with the understanding that any refills would be prepared by him, alone.

We are in an age of smoothing rough edges. This state of affairs means that each of us must bring ourselves to account each day, work on those weak spots and give some grace to those who stumble in one area or another. The visitor was, in general, polite and considerate, and was more than generous to the kitchen manager’s teenage son, after realizing that he had offended people with his earlier demand.

Back in the United States, it is particularly urgent for people to look at one another with the eye of understanding. Overlooking the viewpoints of other right-thinking people will not, inherently, change those viewpoints. Rather, it will only increase the likelihood of a return to policies that are seen as shopworn, anachronistic or otherwise counterproductive. The other thing that will guarantee revanchism is overplaying one’s own hand. For example, forcing others to adhere to one’s own orthodoxy-even if that belief system has some redeeming social value. People need to be persuaded, not coerced. That persuasion has to appeal to the hearer’s understanding of the world.

That means giving the “other side” the tools by which to smooth their own rough edges, while one smooths his/her own.

The Road to Diamond, Day 70: Truisms

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February 6,2025, Manila- One of my Baha’i sisters in faith returned to Manila, this morning, after a lengthy stay in her home area. She has asked for my support in a matter involving an oversight on the part of her employer. My support, as a guest of the Philippine government, would have to be strictly of the moral kind. Filipinos themselves must fight their own battles-and they have, in times past.

Americans are now involved in a strenuous debate, on several fronts. There are questions being batted back and forth, such as: “Who was corrupt first?”; “Why should taxpayers fund subscriptions to periodicals and on-line publications?”; “What do we do, if it turns out that a DOGE technician has overstepped the group’s mission and has a hand in someone’s till?” “Who will determine what happens to Greenland? to Gaza? to a location to be mentioned later?” My stock answer, particularly to the first three questions, is: Be the integrity you want to see in the world, first. Other truisms I would employ include: “Two wrongs don’t make a right; Government agencies don’t need to spend six figures, or even five, on subscriptions; There needs to remain a system of checks and balances, with Congress and the Executive Branch deciding most matters together. (This means Congress has to DO something, systematically.) As for the affairs of a country outside the territorial limits of the United States-the people of that entity deserve the right to conduct free and fair elections, and chart their own course. That, of course, means that outside actors-regardless of ideology, need to butt out. (Hamas, Hezbollah and the Islamic Republic of Iran come to mind-so do China, Russia and our own country.)

A line by line review of the budget process is not, inherently, a bad thing. People have talked, at times glibly, about it for decades now. It does, however, need to be conducted dispassionately, in a transparent manner and by professionals who do not stand to gain from cuts or add-ons. One last truism: Money and power tend to become more enticing, even when someone holds plenty of both. That’s why governance by fiat most often falls flat.