Category Archives: children

The Road to Diamond, Day 218: What Price, Independence?

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 4, 2025- “I’m surrounded!”, the little girl said to her older sister, when called back to the family spot, at this evening’s fireworks watching gathering. She was referring to the tall weeds that were on three sides of her. I was sitting on the fourth side. Going around my folding chair was her easy way out, and back to their gathering place she went.

It is a tough Independence Day for many people. A complicated, and widely-reviled, Federal budget has been put in motion. Fear, on all sides, has people figuratively circling around one another. Like the child mentioned above, the fearful panic, without seeing the whole picture, which does present equitable solutions. The short term solution has ever been centering oneself, then learning to listen- to really hear-what those in our communities have to say. The longer-term answers will then present themselves.

What is the price of independence? I have mentioned, in the past, the economist Thomas Sowell’s truism that “Everything is a trade-off.” Permanent solutions would only work if there were permanent circumstances. The Universe, and everything in it, is not static. So it is with independence. It is an opportunity for an individual to establish oneself and make one’s own decisions. Teenagers and young adults seek, and can thrive, on independence. Once established, however, strict independence needs enhancement.

The next level of social evolution, therefore, is interdependence. People seek partners, and then to be part of communities, as they get older. A strong marriage is 100/100. A strong community draws on the strengths of all its members. A wiser community welcomes new members, with skill sets that enhance the established order, and help it adapt to changing circumstances. Gradually, there is more diversity in a community that is not stagnating.

You’ve also read here that “freedom is not free”. Those who relegate decision-making to louder, more insistent voices should not be surprised to find themselves under the thumbs of grifters, dogmatists and tyrants-and a lot sooner than they might expect. It’s happened in small towns, states and nations. Invariably, this happens when a critical mass of citizens choose to not exercise their duty to take part in the affairs of the community. Then, there comes governance by plurality. This has happened to conservative populaces and to communities where the majority are of a progressive bent. Dogmatism and self-interest are not exclusive to one or another ideology.

Each of us is given free will and the wherewithal to make informed, quality decisions. Putting these to use is the only guarantee that we have, as a nation, to retain the Republic that Benjamin Franklin told us we have the responsibility to keep.

The Road to Diamond, Day 211: “No Distinctions”

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 27,2025- “No, it doesn’t matter where they are from, there should be no distinctions made when it comes to protecting children!” So said a bystander, when I recounted an action I had taken, three years ago, to safeguard three Mexican girls. He was right, of course, but the fact that he took umbrage at the reference to the girls’ nationality belied the xenophobia, masked as universalist concern, that arises nearly every time there is mention of the human rights of specific marginalized groups. Had I been talking about white girls, there would not have been any yelling or jutted jaw. (The same “ALL lives matter” ruse has been replayed countless times, when people try to deflect attention from specific cases of injustice.)

Those who object to any use of the terms diversity, equity or inclusion say they just don’t want those terms to be part of official policy, as in “Thou shalt hire members of marginalized communities, and prefer them over someone who belongs to the dominant community.” There is a case to be made for not specifying groups or for having hiring quotas. That case, though, is rendered null and void when the marginalized are not hired, admitted to colleges or otherwise given a shot at success, because of ingrained tendencies to render them invisible or prejudge them as incompetent, shiftless or untrustworthy.

The city council of Home Base I recently voted to not insert a paragraph stating that the city welcomes everyone, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or national origin, into its land use document. That would be all well and good, but for the frequency of redlining and the official overlooking of harassment towards the marginalized. Most people, conservatives as well as liberals and progressives, accept people on an individual basis, anymore. Officially, though, too many local governments cherry pick and try to institutionalize the pecking order that favours one elite or another. This, too, is not exclusive to conservatives. The tendency, across the political spectrum, is to circle the wagons and shout down anyone with fresh ideas.

The angry bystander is right, just not in the way he intended: There ought be no distinction made between people, when it comes to basic human rights. This, however, applies to groups as well as individuals.

The Road to Diamond, Day 205: Ponderosas and Bluegrass

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 21, 2025- The Howard brothers have come a long way in a year. Their quest to mix Bluegrass with jazz is an unusual path, and started off roughly. Tonight, though, as the first day of Prescott’s 44th Annual Bluegrass Festival entered its evening segment, Cross-Eyed Possum ruled the stage. Their performances did not sound like jazz invading the realm of Bluegrass, or Blues with Bluegrass undertones, but a perfect melding of genres. It would likely have been well-received in even the smallest Appalachian hollow or Piedmont barn dance.

I sat in on their outdoor set, this evening. It had been a full day-taking the preliminary steps to form a Red Cross team that would respond to a wildfire on the Navajo Nation, should it threaten residential areas; helping the Farmers Market crew to break down and put equipment away (as is usual on a Saturday afternoon in Prescott); attending an appreciation dinner for Farmers Market staff, Board Members, and volunteers. I have been a market site volunteer for seven years now, yet it was a revelation that there are 453 people who assist the Market, in various ways-from staffing the compost yard to filling or delivering food boxes to the less fortunate of western Yavapai County. There is so much that goes into any given relief effort.

As we adults enjoyed delicious shredded chicken or vegan tacos, three small boys reveled in the nearby Ponderosa forest, where they gathered fallen branches and twigs, fashioning a fort-bringing back memories of the tree fort that was built in my childhood neighbourhood. It was a great joy to see that children have not lost the thrill of building and discovery. Of course, their parents and grandparents could see them, the entire time they were in the woods. Basically, though, the boys were free to do what they wanted, in that small section of forest, in between nibbles of dinner.

It is always special to mingle with crew mates and get to know their spouses, parents and children. Some of the kids I have known since they were infants and toddlers. They are now in middle childhood, with all the bravado that comes with being 7, 8 and 9. Our intrepid generation was of course there in force. It seems Boomers just intend to make the best use of time- I am but one of thousands, nationwide, and our many hands make much lighter work.

The Howards sing alternately of country joy, favourite animals and heartache, all the stuff of just about any folk or heartland music-as well as of Blues. Here they are, with ” Whipping Post”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 203: The Whip

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 19, 2025- There is no good outcome for oppression. This is the larger message of Juneteenth, which commemorates the day in 1865, when the enslaved of Texas learned of their Emancipation, two years after it was granted.

In the second episode of Season 5, of the series “The Chosen”, the scene of Jesus the Christ upending the Passover Market, from outrage at the presence of commerce on the grounds of the Temple shows Him using a whip, along with knocking over tables and tearing apart animals’ cages.

This is well-known New Testament account, seemingly at variance with Christ’s message of love. He would go on, in what was left of His ministry, to explain to the people about His actions, in the context of His greater message. Some would understand; most would not-initially.

Historically, those who use violence, when punishing children or in enforcing the law, point to the actions of various Old Testament figures, or to Christ vs. the money changers, or to Mohammad’s defensive actions against those who were attacking Him, as justification for their own behaviour. None of us, however, are Messengers of God. We don’t have any business falling back on Scripture to justify our own actions-usually directed towards those who are more vulnerable-or malleable.

Children need to be directed, guided, and corrected, but never made to lose heart. More and more parents are living as nonviolent exemplars. As for enforcing the law, this can be and is done every day, in a firm but nonviolent manner, by the vast majority of peace officers in this country, and in many others. There is never an excuse for the beating of civilians, just as there is never an excuse for throwing chunks of concrete, fireworks or fistfuls of rocks down on police officers, or anyone else. There is, likewise, no excuse for acts of hate against those who differ from oneself.

There is no good outcome for oppression.

The Road to Diamond, Day 202: Antics and Responsibility

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 18, 2025- A man came into Theodore’s Fine Foods, his little son in tow-or maybe it was boy with Dad in tow. At any rate the child had the place captivated, as he relished a raised doughnut, covered in chocolate. His father went for napkins, several times, enjoying his own bagel and cream cheese, in between face wipes. It’s been a while since I’ve seen such enjoyment of a breakfast pastry by a small child. The boy did not run about, but sat joyfully until the treat was eaten. He then carefully walked his plate to the dish bin, and his napkins to the trash receptacle. This, apparently, was not his first go-round.

This is what I’ve observed as the most common behaviour of children in a restaurant. I’ve heard the horror stories-of parent engrossed in the phone screen, whilst brother and sister are pulling each other’s hair and tussling in the aisle. I have yet to see such things. I think the last time I experienced an obstreperous child carrying on in a public space was before Aram was born. Penny and I stopped at a small cafe, en route to Phoenix. A child, around the corner and out of sight, was yellling continuously, for about ten minutes. A deep voice called out, “SHUT UP!” Nothing further was heard from noisemaker. Son, himself, learned to behave nicely, after one trip back to the car, of an evening’s dinner stop.

Most parents just seem to be doing a good job, by their children. The key, Penny and I figured out fairly quickly, was consistency. It is natural for a child to try and push the boundaries, even playing one parent against the other-or comparing the parents to the neighbour families. We did not fall for that. Aram got the basic tools he has needed for success. As did yours truly, he had to decide himself to put those tools to use.

The tool kit will, at some point in the not-too-distant future, be passed along to our next generation. I hope to watch and support that effort.

The Road to Diamond, Day199: Fatherhood at 37

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 15, 2025- In less than a month, Aram will be the same age that I was when he was born. There is a significance to this, which I cannot as yet divulge, but it is quite prescient. That age seems to be a call to maturity, in a very practical way. Aram has entered the field for which he has prepared, and is off to a good start. I rose to a solid position,in South Korea, around the time of his birth, and would have remained, but for family complications here in the U.S. I landed on my feet, once back here, but that is another story.

I was decidedly a late bloomer. My son does not have to be. He has long been recognized for leadership skills and has a solid work ethic. He is more grounded than I was, at that age. A number of mentors, both familial and professional, have helped in that regard. He is wise enough to seek our collective counsel, and to listen to the best of the advice given. I am confident in his future.

In our society that is at once aloof and indulgent, the skills that a person needs to succeed require a lot of self-discipline, of proactivity. There is a need for flexibility and for being able to find resources that make up for what government and industry may not offer, in the way of doing one’s job. Being able to see beyond make-work tasks, some of which are designed to salve the egos of higher-ups, is crucial. The superfluous still needs to get done, but even the most self-absorbed of corporate or public officials will appreciate a self-starter on their staff. One can always grouse, afterward, but the tasks will not go away on their own.

Fatherhood has some of the same aspects. One cannot argue, successfully with a toddler, or to a lesser extent, with a teenager. The hard work still needs to get done, though, and chances are the finished product will be a solid member of society, if the father (along with the mother) does not back away from core principles. As with teaching, the reward may not be seen until later, but the wait is worth it.

These are my thoughts, as my son actively considers becoming a father, in his own right.

The Road to Diamond, Day 194: On Silent Wings

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Posted by on in animal and plant life, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 10, 2025- At the close of an online meeting of friends, marking the Strawberry Moon, one sister lauded a young man who had traveled to the border of Tibet and had laid a vase in the ground. This practice of interring ceramic vases in significant places has gone on for nearly a decade, inspired by the words of a Nepalese monk. The vases are found all over the globe.

The sister spoke of an owl, which graces the skies of her home in Alberta, “flying on silent wings”, and likened the young man’s journey to that of the great raptor-quiet, graceful and with mission.

There are many purposeful journeys being undertaken now. Across the globe, children looking to be born make their way towards the light, in their mother’s safe and loving wombs. The women themselves walk the hard road towards delivery, in most cases supported by loving companions. Those of us who are past the child bearing or child rearing age walk the path of self-reliance, of self-healing, for as long as our minds and hearts allow. Youths who are not yet ready to assume the mantle of adulthood make their way through the morass of discovery.

No matter how we walk, ride or fly; whether we are silent, or noisome, the journey continues. Sometime, it is in fits and starts. Other days, it is smooth and steady. There are those who press on, ever forward. Others, longing for a past that was seldom as idyllic as they imagine, push backwards. To me, those who, like myself, recall a rather happy and fulfilling childhood and adolescence, are not fearful of change. Those whose memories are dark and terrifying want a reset, if for no other reason than to experience some light in their life, which they can associate with childhood innocence, even as their bodies are aging. Then, too, there are those who seek stasis, a period of entropy. Both in physical and metaphysical terms, these are bound to face disappointment. In both the visible and invisible realms of the Universe, nothing stands still.

So it continues, the flight on silent wings.

The Road to Diamond, Day 183: Standing Tall

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 30, 2025- The smug administrator showed the two adolescent friends who was boss, by turning them against one another. This was one of the plot twists in a film “Out of My Mind”, a recent film that charts a few months in the life of a 12-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. Melody can not talk, but has a photographic memory. She is determined to succeed in school, despite the lowered expectations and “cringy” attitude of the adults in the school, which get transferred to most of the other students.

On a visit to a planetarium, with her parents and a few classmates, Melody gets bored and wanders into an auditorium, where Dr. Stephen Hawking is presenting, via video. Her father finds her, and notices Dr. Hawking’s Augmentative and Alternative Communication device. Her parents manage to obtain an AAC device, with help from Melody’s advocate at a nearby university. This leads to a chain of events that elevate Melody’s self-concept.

After a day of light activity, including attending the 50th anniversary of Prescott’s Central Library, I was moved to take my director’s chair over to the Community Film, an open-air event across the street. There, I was pleasantly surprised to see a former co-worker present a brief PSA featuring his younger sister, who has non-speaking autism and uses an AAC device. The above-mentioned film was then introduced,as the feature presentation. It was worth every minute, to see the love that the family, their next door neighbour, Melody’s advocate and, eventually, several of her peers, had for this extraordinary child.

Although Melody is wheelchair-bound, she stands taller than her detractors-a fact of life for all too many who “fall outside the box”, and end up shoved aside by those who can’t think outside their boxes. She alludes to this, in a final monologue to her teacher and classmates. Having been through a milder version of this in my younger days, I see the value of the long game, as well as knowing when to stand one’s ground. The latter presents itself more often than some may think.

Melody is a genuine hero.

The Road to Diamond, Day 178: “Like Everybody Else”

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 25, 2025- As I explained that, unless there is a lot of background noise, I can hear people speaking in a normal tone of voice quite well, one of the others at breakfast objected: “Why do you not have hearing aids, like everybody else here?” While I could use a wax cleaning, the fact remains that I don’t have a sustained hearing loss, as yet.

There have been frequent times in my life, when well-intentioned people have urged: “Fit in!” I have, as the years have gone by, pretty much struck a balance between those aspects of conformity that have made sense to me and following my own path. Doing things a certain way, simply because that is what “everybody else” is doing, does not inherently make sense. First of all, no one knows “everybody else”. Each of us knows only a small segment of a given community, and can only claim to have a cursory knowledge of what the rest are doing. Secondly, we know even less of what others do, behind closed doors and drawn shades.

I have basically chosen the road map offered by my parents and other trusted elders, in charting my course and passing along guidance to my son-and the grandchild(ren), when they come. He, and they, in turn, will use their own judgment in adapting to changing circumstances. Conformity only makes sense, when circumstances are the same -as in “driving on the right hand side of the road (except when in countries where it is customary to drive on the left), showing courtesy to those one meets, or bathing/grooming each day,for the sake of health.

So much has changed, though, in my seventy four years, to say nothing of son’s nearly 37 years-or the short lives of my grand nephews and nieces. There are bound to be further changes, and even some of those will be temporary. It is the basics, those behaviours based on love, that will endure and be the foundation for a useful conformity. For those, we can hopefully count on “everybody else”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 169: Lone Star Beacon

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 16, 2024, Grapevine, TX- About thirty minutes after I had checked out of Days Inn, Parsons, TN, I was finishing up breakfast at Patty’s Restaurant, on the Shiloh Road, when the Days manager called. Seems I had left my bamboo tote bag there, so I went back and retrieved it, once the light breakfast was finished.

That was about the only snag between Parsons and Grapevine. That was a good thing, as this leg of the journey was one of the longest. A road worker ran across I-30, as I was nearing Hot Springs, fortunately with a 1/2 mile distance between us and no one behind me. There was a long line of stalled traffic, leaving Texarkana, but a few of us had been routed to a detour that sent us moving right along, until we crossed into Texas and had a relatively short wait to merge into the main line of traffic.

I stopped in little Hooks for gas, and to connect to Google Maps for the last leg to Grapevine, and Home Base II. A small group of people were gathered outside the filling station, discussing events that people just about anywhere might discuss, of a Friday night, exchanging views on what “she” ought to do about the problem “she” was facing. I wish the unidentified lady well. I found that I had another two hours and forty minutes of driving. Going through a fairly lightly traveled part of northeast Texas was not at all difficult. I just made sure that I stayed hydrated, and didn’t need as much caffeine as I once thought necessary, on jaunts like this.

A hard-charging guy came up behind me, at the turn into Home Base II. I just moved a bit to the right and let him go on his way. Some battles are not worth the turmoil. In short order, I was in my little family’s apartment. We discussed a few scenarios that may or may not transpire, between now and year’s end. One thing is certain: We each have the others’ backs.