Category Archives: children

The Road to Diamond, Day 178: “Like Everybody Else”

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 25, 2025- As I explained that, unless there is a lot of background noise, I can hear people speaking in a normal tone of voice quite well, one of the others at breakfast objected: “Why do you not have hearing aids, like everybody else here?” While I could use a wax cleaning, the fact remains that I don’t have a sustained hearing loss, as yet.

There have been frequent times in my life, when well-intentioned people have urged: “Fit in!” I have, as the years have gone by, pretty much struck a balance between those aspects of conformity that have made sense to me and following my own path. Doing things a certain way, simply because that is what “everybody else” is doing, does not inherently make sense. First of all, no one knows “everybody else”. Each of us knows only a small segment of a given community, and can only claim to have a cursory knowledge of what the rest are doing. Secondly, we know even less of what others do, behind closed doors and drawn shades.

I have basically chosen the road map offered by my parents and other trusted elders, in charting my course and passing along guidance to my son-and the grandchild(ren), when they come. He, and they, in turn, will use their own judgment in adapting to changing circumstances. Conformity only makes sense, when circumstances are the same -as in “driving on the right hand side of the road (except when in countries where it is customary to drive on the left), showing courtesy to those one meets, or bathing/grooming each day,for the sake of health.

So much has changed, though, in my seventy four years, to say nothing of son’s nearly 37 years-or the short lives of my grand nephews and nieces. There are bound to be further changes, and even some of those will be temporary. It is the basics, those behaviours based on love, that will endure and be the foundation for a useful conformity. For those, we can hopefully count on “everybody else”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 169: Lone Star Beacon

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 16, 2024, Grapevine, TX- About thirty minutes after I had checked out of Days Inn, Parsons, TN, I was finishing up breakfast at Patty’s Restaurant, on the Shiloh Road, when the Days manager called. Seems I had left my bamboo tote bag there, so I went back and retrieved it, once the light breakfast was finished.

That was about the only snag between Parsons and Grapevine. That was a good thing, as this leg of the journey was one of the longest. A road worker ran across I-30, as I was nearing Hot Springs, fortunately with a 1/2 mile distance between us and no one behind me. There was a long line of stalled traffic, leaving Texarkana, but a few of us had been routed to a detour that sent us moving right along, until we crossed into Texas and had a relatively short wait to merge into the main line of traffic.

I stopped in little Hooks for gas, and to connect to Google Maps for the last leg to Grapevine, and Home Base II. A small group of people were gathered outside the filling station, discussing events that people just about anywhere might discuss, of a Friday night, exchanging views on what “she” ought to do about the problem “she” was facing. I wish the unidentified lady well. I found that I had another two hours and forty minutes of driving. Going through a fairly lightly traveled part of northeast Texas was not at all difficult. I just made sure that I stayed hydrated, and didn’t need as much caffeine as I once thought necessary, on jaunts like this.

A hard-charging guy came up behind me, at the turn into Home Base II. I just moved a bit to the right and let him go on his way. Some battles are not worth the turmoil. In short order, I was in my little family’s apartment. We discussed a few scenarios that may or may not transpire, between now and year’s end. One thing is certain: We each have the others’ backs.

The Road to Diamond, Day 162: The Incessant Rain

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 9, 2025, Southboro, MA- It rained all day, from Williamsport, PA to here, in a suburb of New England’s second largest city, Worcester.

The small group of teens sent two of their number to greet me, as I was fixing my coffee, in the gas station convenience store. After exchanging pleasantries, the girls went back to their group and said something on the order of, “He’s safe”. This was Newtown, where, in December of 2014, 26 people died at the hands of a lone gunman-in the school where the people gathered in the store today would have been either pre-schoolers or kindergartners. It makes sense for them to, at some level, be checking strangers for signs of either compassion or hostility. The incessant rain of fear falls even now.

A couple of workmen, still in their work uniforms, came into the laundromat where I was washing and drying my clothes, this evening. They spoke little English, but it didn’t matter to me. We were all just humans, tending to what we have been given. We were all okay with each other’s presence. It will ever be so, with me anyway. Yet, 3.5 hours away, at Delaney Hall, NJ, the sitting mayor of Newark was arrested, for having been inside a Federal detention center and protesting the random detention of people suspected of being in this country illegally. The incessant rain of distrust falls, all around us, as the rule of law is questioned.

There is no relief from the physical rain, while it does its work of cleansing and replenishing our water supply. It can bother some, while comforting others, but it will continue until it’s done with its work. There can be relief, from the rains of fear and distrust, if one takes the time to get to know those who might initially strike that fear or distrust. The caveats are that we always need to be aware of our surroundings-and take responsibility for our own safety and well-being.

The kids mentioned above might have been sizing me up to be mugged-except that they weren’t. Ditto with the two young men who had just knocked off work. Four people, in the past ten years, have had ill intentions towards me. Each one, initially, came across as friendly. The difference was that they quickly dropped their guises and variously had their hands out for money or, in one case, decided that physical assault was in order. I caught on in time, and saved life, limb and resources. Intuition and discernment are better than blanket suspicion and fear.

As I lay me down to sleep, it’s still raining outside and might still be, tomorrow. It will not be raining fear and suspicion in my heart.

The Road to Diamond, Day 161: The Long Repair Job

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 8, 2025, Williamsport, PA- From the time I got onto I-80, in Mishawaka to the time I left the road, at the junction with U.S. 15, fifteen miles south of this headquarters city for Little League Baseball, there was virtually nonstop road construction. It resulted in closed lanes, almost every 15-20 miles or so, for a length of 2-3 miles for each segment.

I am told this is one of the major projects that is being funded by Build Back Better, the program that some say is a “left-wing, Green New Deal” boondoggle. Note that this work is focused on shoring up the concrete median, between eastbound and westbound lanes of the Interstate Highway, and fixing guardrails. While it was initiated by Progressives, a better roadway system is in the best interests of anyone who drives, both commercial and recreational. Stopping the work now, or even soon, would not save much, if anything, and would leave remaining fixes undone. While it is inconvenient for those of us driving now, it is best to get the work done before schools let out and families hit the road.

Most of the day was highway-bound. I came upon Ridgeway Inn, just south of downtown Williamsport, around 8 :30 pm. This lovely little motel is managed remotely, but apparently by someone who is close enough that major issues could be addressed readily. Williamsport itself is a clean and, in places, somewhat upscale community, with a strong tourist base that derives from its association with Little League Baseball. Several years ago, one of my nephews was on Saugus, MA’s Little League championship team, which faced against a team from Japan, in the Little League World Series. The Japanese boys won, but Saugus has named a public athletic field as World Series Field. It’s right across a lea from my boyhood home.

For this, and the general ambiance of the city, Willliamsport is another Pennsylvania city that has a place in my heart-along with Bedford, Wilkes-Barre, Exton, Oley and Clarion, to say nothing of Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Harrisburg and York.

The Road to Diamond, Day 160: Windy City Calmness

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

May 7, 2025, Mishawaka- As I walked around the outside of the Baha’i House of Worship, in Wilmette, about 40 miles north of the Chicago Loop, it struck me that the air was a bit cool and the wind brisk. About halfway through my walk, the wind died down and I felt a lot more comfortable. Maybe it was just a matter of acclimation. The atmosphere inside the Temple was warm, and made more so by quiet prayer, said for all who are important in my life, and those who have gone on.

The day started in earnest with a drive up I-39, to the small city of Rochelle, and a satisfying lunch of soup and sandwich, at Sunrise Family Restaurant. The kids were all in school, of course, so the families were mostly people my age or older. The wait staff knew many of the patrons, giving the place a comforting ambiance. I was also treated very well.

After a winding drive through the farmlands and older suburbs of west Chicagoland, I managed to get to the House of Worship around 3 pm. 90 minutes were more than enough time to accomplish the circumambulation, prayers-and purchasing a fresh copy of Baha’i Prayers. I let my friends here in Mishawaka know when leaving the parking lot of the Temple, and started the drive through Chicagoland, fully anticipating a long, slow slog.

Likely due to the fact that it is midweek, that drive took a mere fifty minutes, from Wilmette to the Skyway, which is just shy of the Indiana state line. Another hour, and I was here at my friends’ new house. The Windy City showed an unusual calm, along the south and east bound freeway. For whatever reason, though, the north and west bound roads were bumper to bumper. I’ve been in that situation, countless times, so experiencing the opposite was a blessing.

It is always nice to touch base with V and M.

The Road to Diamond, Day 156: Heroes, Super and Otherwise

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 3, 2025, Phoenix- The comforter on the bed I am borrowing for the evening is Superhero-themed. I am now safe from anything that could threaten the well-being of a six-year-old boy. Since he’s away, this seventy-four-year-old, overgrown kid can expect the same. Monsters and villains, be gone!

Heroes, in real life, come in many shapes, sizes and guises. The people who seem to stand in our way, and keep us from what what we think we might want, will sometimes turn out to be our best friends-and unlikely heroes in our lives. Remember the tale of Majnoon, searching for his beloved Layli (Layla, of the Eric Clapton song). His path was blocked by one or another watchman, until he vaulted himself over a wall-and found her looking fr a ring she had lost.

Heroes can be full of bravado, or they can be ordinary people (as in the Dave Grohl song). They can be constantly in action, in the limelight or just be around-for one day (as in the David Bowie song). Yes, we have been celebrating our deliverers and saviors from time immemorial. From the Epic of Gilgamesh, to the Iliad and Odyssey, the Tales of Hiawatha, Icelandic sagas and stories of the Samurai, all the way to the Marvel and DC characters, we derive much comfort in the idea that someone has our backs.

It is best, though, that we are our own, and one another’s champions. Acting in the interests of each person in our world-starting with ourselves, but not stopping there, can be challenging. The alternative, though, is to let someone else determine the entirety of our existence. That may seem easier, but recall the fates of those who acquiesced to tyrants, throughout history. Were they happier, in the fullness of time? Were their needs met?

Today, in conference with many of my fellow Baha’is, at the Center where Penny and I spent many happy hours, in the often troubled 2000s, I was reminded that “heroism” is hard work and that it is often not intentional, but the result of just putting oneself out there, on behalf of humanity-and of all creation. It most often involves teamwork, and always involves discernment and fortitude.

After our long day of consultation, my host and I joined several old friends, and many youth, in honouring a hard-working college graduate. It was a joy to see people I haven’t seen in fifteen years and to witness how several of them have grown from childhood and become successful adults, in various fields.

Heroes-some of them “super” come in all forms.

The Road to Diamond, Day 143: Resilience

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 20, 2025- Some 1,993 years ago, when His tormentors gave Him up for dead, those who rolled back the stone at the designated tomb of Jesus the Christ were astonished to find it empty. He had business to which to attend: His followers were in need of reassurance, encouragement. Only Christ could provide that impetus to resilience, and so He did.

Each of us, given what we are to do in this life, has a need for resilience, on many occasions. The first time most of us experience this is when learning how to walk. Falling doesn’t faze most infants. They instinctively know that falling is part of learning, and so they keep on, until able to take step after step, ideally to the cheers and hugs of loving family members.

As life goes on, either we accept failure as a means to learning, as we did when edging towards toddlerhood, or we take it as a sign of inadequacy. The former is a burnishing of a can-do mindset, a harbinger of future success. The latter may, if not corrected, become the spark of learned helplessness. I have experienced both, over the years. Guess which one felt better, and which one I embrace now.

Communities, and nations, can face the same choice. Debate can see a case made for either option. It is true that collective failure is less easily fixed than is that of individuals, but it is also true that an honest conversation and civil commitment, to what is actually best for the community as a whole, can lead to reconciliation and true social progress-of the kind that doesn’t play favourites or institutionalize scapegoats.

We are at a crossroads, as a nation. Can we be discerning enough to take the best ideas of social progress and the best ideas of social conservatism, and reconcile the differences between the two? National survival has always been dependent on finding a balance.

The Road to Diamond, Day 142: The Long of It

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 19, 2025- Today was the 250th anniversary of the beginning of the Battles of Lexington and Concord, which are seen by many as the beginning of the American War for Independence from Great Britain. It is also the twelfth anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing, by which two men and a woman tried to make the claim that the American Experience was ignoring the plight of Muslims in Western and Central Asia, and thus Americans deserved to suffer.

A conservative friend recently pointed out that the basic conflict in our society is between those who believe good actions should be the result of free choice and those who believe that good actions often have to be coerced. I believe that most people start out the socializing portion of their lives (around age 4) wanting to please the people who are most closely in their view (parents, siblings, grandparents and, if they are lucky, extended family like aunts, uncles and cousins). Friends begin to be made around that time, as well. If that love is not reciprocated, for whatever reason, the person will devise other means of obtaining goals. Thus, greed, aggression and devious behaviour (such as lying or fantasizing) take root.

So, until such time as the spiritualization of the entirety of the human race is realized, we need some governmental safeguards, to serve as prompts, in moments of feckless, antisocial or exclusionary activity. We needed government to put a stop to slavery, then to two-tiered education systems and institutionalized racism, then to the same discriminatory practices regarding the treatment of women-and by extension, homosexuals. We needed government to protect workers from the excessive greed of employers. To some extent, we still need these laws, to guard against backsliding.

Freedom is never going to be free, so if we as a species want to be able to function without coercion, there is only one long term answer, the development and maintenance of self-discipline. My life has only become freer since I made a disciplined lifestyle my reality. I am quite certain that the same is true of anyone else who truly feels personal freedom.

The Road to Diamond, Day 140: First Dibs

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 17, 2025- I checked online, about a request that I made to be relieved of a volunteer slot at an upcoming charity event. The request was denied, due to a shortage of other interested volunteers. I could very well take the stance that it’s my time, something more important, further afield, has come up and life is just too bad sometimes.

I will do nothing of the sort. My word is good for a lot more than convenience. The event in this community will benefit a lot of children and teens. The event for which I might have traded my time would primarily benefit only me, with Kathy getting a video of a place which I have already taken several photographs. So, the edge goes to Home Base I.

There are several choices that will need to be made, both on an individual and on a collective basis, over the next several months, and likely well into next year. I can only control what choices I make, so here it is: With Baha’i Teachings as my road map, my little family and Kathy come first, followed by extended family, then this community-including Baha’i friends and finally, all those across the continent and the world. I guess I put myself somewhere in the middle of it all, yet I will survive just fine.

I know, in each situation, who gets first dibs.

The Road to Diamond, Day 127: Peace Summit

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 4, 2025- The crumpled sheets of paper were strewn about the meeting room. It was obvious that this was done deliberately, though toward what end remained to be revealed. We were treated to explanations of artwork that showed the long-term responses to Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Bikini Atoll. Man’s resilience, following horrific acts of war, is worthy of celebration. What is abhorrent is that such acts of war are even deemed essential by many of those in power.

The presentations of the artwork were followed by a woman’s heart-rending account of her own traumas, and how she was able to rise above them, enter a satisfying career (teaching Biology) and raise a family. Meditation, yoga and personal discipline all came into play, in this process. Hers is a life worthy of emulation.

A veteran police officer described his work, in humanizing his profession, and the image of his comrades. Much of his efforts were in response to the slayings of George Floyd and Breanna Taylor. The example of the Detroit Police Department’s having Blue (Law enforcement) and Green (mental health response) divisions was presented, with the notation that the two divisions work hand-in-glove.

Getting back to the crumpled papers: The after-lunch presentation dealt with issues of human trafficking. Each sheet of paper, as it turned out, had the photo and basic information, about a particular missing youth. We each picked up one or more sheets of paper off the floor and tacked them to the “Missing” bulletin board. This simple act served to remind the group that trafficked children and teens are an enormous issue, across the population-but especially among First Nations and African-American communities. (I wrote, recently, about Emily Pike, the slain Apache teenager, whose case remains open.) Add to these the trafficked undocumented immigrants, and the matter assumes gargantuan proportions.

These aspects of working towards peace were then summed up by three Yavapai College Student Government Association officers, who went over all the considerations their board has to ponder, in making sure that their constituents’ needs are heard and addressed. No one issue can be ignored, in favour of one or two other “more pressing” (in the view of dominant groups) matters.

This is a first-time effort by the college, so its promotion and programming will no doubt be the focus of improvement and expansion, should the Administration and Student Body choose to make it an annual event. Coming the day before a nationwide day of protest against real and perceived grievances that many groups have with the recent actions of the Federal government, the format of dialogue and making the case for peaceful resolution would seem to be something that needs to be put forth on a continuous basis.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” should not relegate to cliche status.