Category Archives: children

Fifteen Years

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Family, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 5, 2026- It was a mild, crisp Saturday morning, when I got the call that I had been expecting, since having woken to a heavy presence in the bedroom that Penny and I had shared for nearly twenty-nine years. I was told that I didn’t have long to get to the Hospice, if I wanted to “exercise the option” of being with her when she passed. I had not taken the spare room that the Hospice provided to those who were expecting a loved one’s imminent passing. because we lived thirty minutes away and a gentleman from Nashville was present, waiting for his mother’s demise.-

This was a case of trusting the Universe to arrange everything nicely. As it happened, the entrance ramp that would have gotten Aram and me there on time, was blocked. The detour added an extra ten minutes to our drive and we arrived, on a still morning, to be greeted by a slow spiral of leaves and dust, swirling near the door. Three minutes had gone by since Penny’s departure, so quiet that the nurse, who had checked her ten minutes earlier, was taken aback. Still warm to the touch, eyes still open, I know that my beloved would have preferred to wait, but it was not to be.

My task, in the years that have gone by, has been to make a concerted effort to live a far better life. It took a few more years, after that day, to vanquish my demons and accomplish most of what we had planned to do together. Here I sit in a comfortable open office, in our family’s home, looking at our infant granddaughter, via a monitor. She is asleep in her crib, with plenty of room, on a soft but firm pad. Helping to raise her will be my lasting gift to the wife who sacrificed everything to help me turn my life around.

It’s been a long process, but I really think I’m there, at long last.

The Last Income Tax

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 4, 2026- I filed my 2025 Tax Returns this evening. Both Federal and Arizona (for the last time) income tax information was reported. At the end, I realized that I am truly retired. I may not have any income to report, come next February or March. My responsibilities have shifted to family (my grandchild) and occasional community service, until such time as said granddaughter (and any sibling she might have) has reached school age.

As my chiropractor reminds me, this does not reflect on my remaining longevity. If anything, the need of the child(ren) to have a healthy, clear-headed grandparent nearby is a mandate to keep on with my diet and exercise regimen. An active lifestyle is taking time to re-build here, and is a bit different in an urban, prairie environment, as opposed to the high desert and mountains of central Arizona. It will happen, though.

I have to thank Arizona’s schools for all the day-to-day skills that will come in handy, in any support role that I have in Hana’s education. It has actually already started, with portions of each day devoted to building her physical and sensory skills. She likes to practice standing, and can hold her head up fro about a minute, while on her belly. I realize this is a bit ahead of most people’s developmental schedules. Hana is not most people, though, and is already propelling herself towards objects that catch her interest. Here parents and I will not push her to do more than she is already inclined to do.

I don’t think we’ll have to.

Proactive

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 3, 2026- There was a time when I procrastinated, and sloppily put things together at the last minute. I was in eighth grade. and found myself getting further behind, even failing in the “New Math”, which was en vogue at the time. I got myself together, just a bit, and managed to raise my grades to acceptable levels. Grade 9 saw a repeat of the process, with me telling self that four of my six teachers were incompetent. They were, but I didn’t help matters any. Things got better for the last three years of high school. I did well, even in the one class that had an incompetent instructor. The first year of college, or should I say first semester, was a wash. I had not integrated the work habits that a successful run demands.

In the military, I found that the only way to survive in anything is to carefully plan things out. That snapped the losing streak and taught me proactivity. As time has gone on, being proactive has made all the difference between sink and swim. Everything from arranging travel to carefully meeting the needs of my grandchild has to be planned out and have my full attention. This all sounds quite run-of-the-mill, but the fact is that many people talk about and idealize achieving success. Unless the concept of proactivity is integrated, however, old bad habits die hard, and will resurface.

There are three things on my calendar for this week. The first was to take Aram to the airport, for a business trip. That had to be carefully planned out, so that all aspects of the drive, and who does what around the house, in his absence, were understood and integrated into daily schedules. Next is getting my tax return done. Although that is set for tomorrow evening, all the documents were photocopied in advance and the list gone over again, to make sure nothing is left out. The third thing is voting. I went over and cast my vote in one of the primaries, this afternoon. Being a recent registrant, I found that my name had not made it to the rolls, and that therefore, I have to have my provisional ballot “cured”, at the County Elections Office. That, too, could be done tomorrow-or Thursday.

I used to not be present for a lot of what went on in my life. I like it much better, being proactive and attentive.

Head Held High

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Striving

March 1, 2026- Hana has developed enough upper body strength to hold her head up, while prone, for several minutes. It will not be long before she can also scoot herself forward, without help. Crawling will come after that. She is able to track the movement of her caregiver and will respond to her name, often by raising her little hand. On top of that, she has started singing little cooed tunes that are in her head.

The biggest contribution I want to make to her life is to ensure that she holds her head high, regardless of circumstances. I am already telling her this, knowing that it will take some time for much of what I say, to register. Still, a lot of what is said to pre-lingual children can register and be used by them later in life. She certainly seems to be storing a lot of information already.

It is my belief that much of the trauma that children experience can be mitigated by a solid first six months following birth. During the newborn phase, many physical and communication skills are initiated. How confident a child becomes, depends on the balance between being comforted in actual times of distress and over-protection, when the child can calm self if given a few minutes to think and reflect, knowing that a loving presence is near, should it all be too much to process.

Hana is getting there, because one or more of us are paying close enough attention to know when she has hit a major bump in the road or just needs a bit of breathing room.

The 28th Amendment

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Striving

February 26, 2026- I have been asked to copy and paste a pass-around from a friend on social media. As a rule, I do not do copy and paste, no matter how important it may be to someone. This is for security reasons. The content of the pass-around, though, addresses an issue that has been important to me for a long time. Below, is the content of a proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution.

“1.The Congressional Reform Act of 2017 1. No Tenure / No Pension. A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they’re out of office. And, no more perks go with them.

2. Congress (past, present, & future) participates in Social Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress must purchase their own retirement plan, just as ALL Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people (i.e. NO MORE INSIDER TRADING!!!).

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women. Congress made all these contracts by and for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor and privilege, NOT a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators should serve their term(s), then go home and go back to work … not get all kinds of freebies.”

This has been proposed before. I can remember hearing an otherwise estimable member of the Unites States Senate, who is now deceased, complain that, under the proposal, he would have to give up his second and third residences. My response at the time: “I know several people who can barely put food on the table for their two children, and struggle to make rent and pay for utilities- in their two-bedroom apartment!”

Let’s get serious about the matter this time around. I was asked to send this to twenty people on Facebook. Well, this is going on that platform-and on Substack. It might even make it to LinkedIn. Far more than twenty should therefore see it.

In other news, Hana lifted her head today and crawled about two inches. That’s something worth cheering. She also has figured out how to amuse herself by making the bouncy chair go up and down.

Cautions

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 25, 2026- As I brought Hana downstairs, after her bath this evening, I stopped on the last step before the living room floor. She looked at me and babbled a loud caution-perhaps wondering if I was about to stumble. Little ones have more intuition than we might imagine. No worries, though; I just stepped carefully and all was well.

Earlier today, I brought my Sportage up to the dealer for several items of maintenance. A recall that had been put off for several months was also addressed. It turns out that the ignition switch was plastic-as in “gone in 30 seconds” plastic. It was replaced by a metal switch-which is much harder to pop out.

I spent my wait time during the service call enjoyably, by walking to and from downtown McKinney-a 2.2 mile walk, each way. Reasonable caution is needed, as not all of the route features paved sidewalks. There are, however, nice grassy paths in the unpaved areas, and one just needs to find ways around a couple of construction sites. Once past that, Texas is very good about making sure there are metered crosswalks, at every major intersection. There is a three or four block commercial district, on the other side of US 75, then one gets to walk through a mile-long residential district, a peaceful place of stately homes.

We then come to McKinney’s historic downtown (There are few downtowns that are not regarded as historic, but I digress.) This area is a pedestrian’s delight, with a goodly number of shops and restaurants. For lunch, I chose a breakfast and lunch place called Spoons. A hot, if mild, cup of chicken tortilla soup went well with a meatloaf sandwich. Christina and her team take good care of everyone. I went on to Neighbor Books, ordering a couple of child development volumes by Michael Gurian and Sean Kullman and finally picking up a copy of “Nobody’s Girl”, by Virginia Giuffre. Caution, for a grandparent, especially for the grandfather of a girl, means being completely informed.

No child, no human being, should be viewed as the means to an end.

How Hard Is It?

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

February 24,2026- Ten random questions come to mind, on this quiet day.

How hard is it, to see a girl or woman as a full human being, with valid dreams and aspirations that are worthy of support?

How hard is it, to not project one’s own insecurities or perceived inadequacies on another person-as a means of avoiding personal responsibility?

How hard is it to recognize that a person of another shade of brown is not an inherent threat to life and limb?

How hard is it to see that a person’s being from another country is not a “Go Straight to Jail” card?

How hard is it to not put an infant, or small child, in harm’s way, in the name of policy?

How hard is it to read the United States Constitution and abide by it?

How hard is it to listen to another person’s point of view, and not take it as a personal attack?

How hard is it to remember the person you once were and go back to the best of those basics?

How hard is it to place monetary gain well behind following the Ten Commandments/ Golden Rule?

How hard is it to have spiritual gifts and not use them as a means to an emotional or remunerative end?

A Better Fit

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 23, 2026– While I was going through my twelve exercises, on the machines at Planet Fitness, this evening, a young woman nearby was benching 225 pounds. I passed by, on my way to the massage lounge, while she was resting, and offered a glance of encouragement. She certainly was performing a feat that I am unlikely to even remotely approach. She is doing something right for herself, and those in her circle who are encouraging such achievements deserve kudos as well.

This is the sort of elevative wraparound I want to build for Hana. The “Mighty Girl”ethos, not taking away from a similar network for boys, but making personal empowerment a universal child rearing model. This is not a zero-sum game, and those who insist it is are themselves only coming from a position of weakness-regardless of their personal trappings of wealth and power.

I have read a fair amount, recently, about the debilitative effects of patriarchy. It is not only the rich and powerful who operate under this system, as any young woman in a tradition-laden society, who has to marry the man who her father has arranged for her, finds, often to her sorrow. There are more subtle ways the patriarchy knocks the props out from under a woman or girl-linguistically, vocationally, or in terms of expectations. Perhaps the most insidious is the use of women who are either defeated or are somehow in league with those men who are maintaining the patriarchal system. There are several prominent examples of this phenomenon in our present society.

Hana will face many more choices, as she gets older. My main focus will be on helping her sift out the limiting agents of the patriarchy (including those who come on as glamourous or empowering, but are really old vinegar in new bottles). Her parents and I will be her sounding boards, and biggest cheer squad-and God help the person or persons who try to derail her.

Observant

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 22, 2026- Hana enjoys sitting and watching her mother do simple household tasks. She is very intent while Yunhee folds clothes or cleans countertops. Of course, when Mommy is putting a small piece of furniture together, that brings a smile to Hana’s face. It’s almost as if, the more complicated the task, the more it captivates her. I can see that once she starts walking, Hana will be her mother’s shadow and will probably want to help in small ways.

Babies, being pre-lingual, can learn best by such observation. How ironic it is that so many of those with the power of utterance forget to be observant. There is a seeming disconnect between the five senses and speech. We are at a stage where, for too many, my late father-in-law’s wry comment “In the brain, out the mouth” is a rule of thumb. Pop would have liked Hana, just quietly watching everything that goes on, and only fussing when her initial cues of discomfort are not noticed by her grown-ups.

She has only one standing request, to be included in the life of the family, no matter how quotidian the course of events. It means the world to Hana to be sitting on the lap of one of us at the dinner table-again watching how we eat, listening to our conversations and seeing how we care for one another by passing food around the table and sharing everything.

We could all stand to remember what it’s like to not yet be mobile, and yet so observant, drinking in all the practical skills that will be needed later.

No Infantilization

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual

February 21, 2026- Hana was squalling about a break in the feeding action, until I came downstairs and reminded her, in a calm voice, that being burped was part of the feeding process. She stopped squalling, let herself be burped and went back to feeding.

I know all the warnings given to grandparents about not spoiling their little darlings. As loving as I am to her, though, I will never jive the little girl. Those cautions and that guidance which her parents have in place have my backing as well. I want her to succeed and to enjoy the best that life has to offer. Those things don’t come to someone who throws a fit, and that realization comes with the first sets of delays and procedures that an infant experiences.

I will not infantilize my granddaughter. Her feelings, and her language, when it comes, will be honoured with respect. I will hold her and comfort her as often as she needs; I will not, however, enable her intemperance. Calmly, but firmly, we are checking all reasons for any distress she is exhibiting, and she is most appreciative once the hunger, the gas pains or soiled diaper have been addressed. She already knows, after only two months, that she is being taken seriously by all three of her adults.

I learned a lot from the parents at Dharma Farm, in Paulden, AZ, about not babying infants. That does not mean skimping on nurturing. It means teaching patience, consideration and gentleness, from the time a child can recognize faces and voices. It will also mean being considerate of others, from the time Hana can walk and speak.

I look at the larger situation around our country today and see that there are far too many, even in positions of power, who have been infantilized and pampered, and who have learned to fulminate at critics; manipulating people and situations to their advantage, Whether this has come from a lack of spirituality or from overemphasis on the material side of life, it has laid low any society where people have become numbed to the machinations of the overindulged few.

While I shudder at some of the behaviour of people both in positions of authority and in positions of civic responsibility, I see where it started, and will do my small part to make sure a little girl coming up in the world doesn’t follow poor examples.