Category Archives: distraction issues

Strat Fail

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 4,2024- One can never tell about other people, each and every time they are encountered. Growing up, and into adulthood, several of my male friends operated on the premise: “She’s above your level” or “She’s in a different league.” I often wondered about very attractive girls and women, especially as to “Do they really see themselves as above certain guys?” There were a couple of snooty women, when I was in Community College, but I left them to themselves and pursued other friendships. 

Stratification tends to fail, in the long run. Each of us should be okay with choosing who we date, court and marry. Settling for anyone who comes along is not fair, either to self or to the one with whom one is “making do”. Neither, though, is being so selective that virtually no one can meet one’s criteria. I was plenty happy with my wife of 29 years, though neither of us were close to perfection. I was not expecting to meet Penny, when I did. I was not expecting to lose her to disease, either. Fast forward, 12.5 years, and I wasn’t expecting to meet K, a few months ago, but I did. Attraction sure is a funny thing, and it can lead to some beautiful results, so long as both parties keep things in perspective. The way in which relationships develop depends entirely on how much respect and compassion each person has for the other’s life experience.

These thoughts came into my mind, when I spoke with a young friend, who is like a daughter to me. Uncertain about her social life, and drifting along, she has fallen into a pattern of over-reacting to other people. In the few minutes she had to speak with me, I conveyed the message that she has first to see herself as worthy of respect and love. Men will pick up on where a woman is, in terms of self-esteem-and the wrong ones will take full advantage. It works that way, conversely, as well. Wreck-it-Ralph and Ravaging Rita are two sides of the same coin. There is, finally, the caveat about not assuming things about people, based on random observations. Generally speaking, one who is given to jumping to conclusions had better make sure the parkour skills are up to speed.

Useful Metrics, from A Brief Job

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 2,2024- Today was Imbolc, a day of spiritual renewal for Naturists and Wiccans, some of whom are my friends. While the origins of their Faiths are found in the mists of time, many of their guiding principles go along with those of more recently revealed Faiths, including Baha’i. Not the least of these shared principles is the Golden Rule, the real one, that states “Treat others as you wish to be treated.” It was also Groundhog Day, and there will, apparently, be six more weeks of winter, since Phil didn’t see his shadow.

I spent the morning with two groups of Freshman Success students, who were mainly occupied with things like Typing Tests, real world skills-like how to buy a car and, of course, teen life. One savvy teacher has a set of metrics posted on her wall. These include: ”Listening, Being respectful, Fairness,Nicety,Kindness, Appropriate conduct,No put-downs, Effort and Honesty.” I intend to keep a record of my own performance, in those areas.

There was another set of metrics, in poster form, on a closet door, adjacent to the teacher’s desk. Here they are: ”Be yourself; think young; laugh often; forgive quickly; be happy; love deeply; dream big; take chances; be grateful; have no regrets; play hard; be spontaneous; let go; never give up.” I have practiced most of these, at least as an adult-and gotten better at several. 

Having shared all this with my most treasured friend, I bring these into my wider circle. Anyone is welcome to point out when you see me lapsing-just remember to be constructive. It was a pleasant start to Hiking Buddy’s birthday weekend, this evening, with a dinner at a small fine dining establishment, called BigA (pronounced big-uh). The fresh ingredients were delectably put together, for both of our meals.

Weather, work and even a stuck red light were no impediments. Imbolc was a fine day.

Past the Clouds

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 1, 2024- Five people, clad in dark colours, were walking past my driveway, right as I was heading to work, this morning. I didn’t make a wide turn, thankfully, and kept on with the commute. There were a sizable number of people on the road, while it was still a bit early for rush hour. Being alert is never optional.

The clouds dissipated enough, as the sun rose, and the three classes I covered were pretty straightforward. In the third class, I had to rattle my brain a bit, to remember the right way of determining the area of a triangle, when given the lengths of two sides, and the top angle measure’s sine. That requires looking the sine up in a trigonometric table-which was fresh in the students’ minds, but had faded from my memory. Fortunately, they all just worked the assignment, while I quietly brushed up on it, in case I need to cover that class tomorrow.

Recalling that this year is one of not ducking challenges, I found self in a calm and happy mood, going back to Home Base. I later sat through a Red Cross meeting, at which I was not entirely welcome, and, with rain coming down in buckets, earlier this evening, sat out a potentially raucous community meeting. Being bold does not mean being intrusive, or reckless.

This brings me to the feelings that I have for someone who lives far away from here. The friendship is not something that will surge ahead, by leaps and bounds. It is something that will be built, carefully, with sensitivity and being supportive of the lady’s independence and personal sensibilities. 

Boldness and decisiveness do not dovetail with acting like the bull moose of the woods.

The Blind Dancer, and Other Marvels

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, Entertainment, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 26, 2024- He danced with his beloved woman, confidently in her arms and with a serene expression, as Galactogogues gave another rousing and stellar performance, this evening. Blind since birth, the gentleman is an accomplished musician in his own right, and a regular at Raven Cafe. He is one of many marvels of our town, in his instrumentality and in his dancing.

A couple who have had a hard life, and have stuck together for over forty years, are monitoring me, since we had a disagreement about something, two months ago. They seem almost saintly, in and of themselves, yet inquire of mutual friends about my well-being, or so I’m told. It is something of a marvel, that this is even important to them. My life is not all that prominent in Prescott.

My work day began with an expectation, on my part, that this would be a quiet day, working with Special Needs children. The school is understaffed, though, and it was no surprise when I was informed by the Office Manager that my day would be split: Morning, teaching Music and Afternoon with a First grade class. After a dicey start, I was able to get access to the computer and video, in time to teach three groups of children about rhythm and tempo, using rhythm sticks, whilst listening to varying speeds of a video-based tune. Of course, they liked the prestissimo the best.  The middle school choir was self-directed, which was fortunate, as the teacher had not left plans for their class period. 

After some sober assessment of the overall situation, the OM decided that I should have an hour break, at lunch, and had me teach one more music class, using the same plan. Then there was First Grade, reading the chapter of “Charlotte’s Web, in which Wilbur decides he wants to try to spin a web of his own. Wilbur, for the unitiated, is a pig. The old “when pigs can fly” quip pretty much gives an idea of what happened next. Charlotte rightly points out that, as a domesticated animal, he is fed by the farmer, and so, is not in need of a web. A spider, on the other hand, must fend for self. The children got the point, that they are cared for, but that many people have to fend for themselves. Charlotte also compares her web to a bridge that people build-and with that, we segued into the topic of bridges. The afternoon was delightful.

Just before attending the latter part of the Galactogues concert, I joined an hour-long devotional, discussing the topic of Resurrection. We Baha’is see it as spiritual rebirth, rather than full-on re-emergence of a physical body, from the dead. I have had several dreams , over the years since Penny died, in which she had come back alive and I felt the need to re-arrange my life to accommodate her renewed presence. Realizing, upon waking, that this was only a dream, and that she is in a good place, I came to understand that her spirit is in a constant state of renewal and advancement. Indeed, whilst sitting at her grave site, in early December, I got affirmation that her spirit is pleased with, and had involvement in, my new friendship with another woman. I think that, as one of my primary spirit guides, Penny has made sure that I have all manner of friends, of both genders. One’s spiritual progress, after death, is probably the greatest of marvels.

Taking Ownership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 25, 2024- Child # 1 kept denying having broken a health-related rule, even though ten of his classmates testified that he had done so, and the evidence was there, on his desk. He was held to account for the violation. Had he not been, who knows how many copy cats would have followed suit?

I have said it before: I was the world’s worst miscreant, when it came to covering up misdeeds, from childhood to the end of my erring days. I was actually relieved, in later years, when called to account for bad choices. It meant, usually, a chance to start afresh and act more in tune with Divine teachings.

We’ve discussed owning one’s bad choices before, on this site. Families, communities and countries have never been known to thrive, when a key member of the grouping goes from one denial to another. Yet, some believe the denier, largely because they see so many dodging responsibility for their actions. So, “why not give ________the benefit of the doubt?” Well, there is “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” There is also the fact that the individual’s spiritual state does not improve, over time, with the accumulation of “duck, dodge and hide”.

What I’ve found is that I have gotten umpteen chances to overcome a character defect-until the time comes that the baggage is actually cast overboard.

Revitalized

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 20, 2024- The watchful Apache man saw that all the modern conveniences that had been installed in his new restaurant kitchen were still missing a key component: A means of heat. He had a stack of firewood on hand, and was able to get a fire going, safely, in his fireplace. The cook stove, of course, was a secondary means of heat. In time, the solar heater would be on track, but for the time being, the fireplace saved the day.

This was one of the vignettes that flowed through “Gather: The Fight to Revitalize Our Native Foodways”, a film that was shown this evening, at our Elks Performing Arts Center. The film illustrated First Nations people working to re-establish viable food systems, in areas across North America. A Dineh farmer is working to increase use of the Little Colorado River, in its traditional role as a water source. A young Lakota Sioux woman is spreading understanding of the nutritional value of the meat of grass-fed bison, such as her father raises. A Yurok man is teaching young men in his northern California community about traditional spear fishing, and keeping salmon populations sustainable. A San Carlos Apache grandmother is teaching a young girl about catching kangaroo rats, and respecting the home of a rattlesnake-not just because it is venomous, but because it, too, is a living being and helps keep the rodent population in balance. She is also teaching the child about harvesting edible desert plants. The White Mountain Apache chef is likewise using local products, in his preparation of dishes at Cafe Gozho’o’ (the second o is silent). Gozho’o’ means happiness, harmony or balance, in the Nde’e’ language of the Apache people.

The key to all this is revitalization, for which this is a year. A friend here in town received final clearance to move her possessions to a house which she had inherited, over a year ago. There had been delays in the move, for various reasons, which have now been resolved. I helped with moving some of the items, this afternoon. Her life, and livelihood, are being regenerated.

My own life has not been stagnant, yet its pace, too, is picking up, in terms of financial, interpersonal and goal-setting elements. This will be a truly interesting year, one in which decisive action becomes the norm.

Thoughts On Fixing What’s Not Broken

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

January 16, 2024- My day was centered on helping a Baha’i friend get to a medical appointment. As Dad taught us to focus on one thing at a time, and doing it right, any other considerations for the afternoon were moot. I got Sportage washed, and opened my collected mail, from last week, but that was all done by mission time.

After the appointment was over, friend recapped the conversation with doctor and physician’s assistant. It seems, as is so often the case, that there is no provision by the practitioners for naturopathic or herbal remedies to the diagnosed malady. Indeed, the implication is that patient (Baha’i friend) ought to accept a treatment plan, “so as to stay ahead of any problems down the road.” Friend did not take the bait, sticking to own regimen for maintaining personal health. In the end, doctor’s advice was: ”Keep doing what you’re doing.”

The goal of any primarily monetized enterprise is to keep the cash flowing. As a snark once told me, “Hey, money pays the bills”, as if that excused the whole nine yards. In so doing, there is a sense that creating a problem, then devising and advancing a solution, is a solid business model. This, when recognized for what it is, gives rise to conspiracy theories-and I have to say, the “kooks” have something there, even if their valid point ends up twisted off into various tangents.

Truth be told, there are enough problems that are extant in this physical world, at any given time, that inventing more issues and devising solutions to them, is little more than a perverse Socratic seminar. Each end of the dominant culture’s spectrum accuses the other of faux saviourhood. Yet, both practice the ruse: The Far Left, by announcing a ban on vehicles with internal combustion engines, by a certain year, without securing the commitment from industry to produce enough Electric Vehicles to meet the resulting demand; the Far Right, by excoriating present immigration policy, then refusing to work with their counterparts in Congress, to resolve the issue. The solutions that each offers are non-starters, that are essentially designed to simply “make the other guy look bad”, and solving nothing.

There are others, coming from both sides, but I shift the focus to my own situation. Things happened, or didn’t happen, this morning, which could have provoked me into attempting to “resolve issues”. Instead, I chose to do nothing. These are matters which it is best to let play out, and resolve themselves. That may not be possible in the larger social issues-but one thing is clear: No problems can truly be solved, by coming up with solutions when no issue exists.

Up, Down and All-around

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

January 14, 2024, Winslow- I went into the Welcome Center, to set up for an online meeting, and found that my favoured spot was occupied-first come, first served. It would have been awkward, anyway, as the table is in the area of a looping introductory video-and many new guests were set to arrive today. So, the Acting Director of Ghost Ranch gratuitously let me use a section of her office, for the meeting, which, since it drew only one other person, was a brief one.

I next went to the gift shop (“Trading Post”) and purchased note cards, on which I may write my mother. Then, I packed up and loaded the car. In that process, I saw that I was missing a certain item, looking high and low for it-to no avail. The Aha! moment told me to go back towards Gallup, the way I came. 

Before that, though, I called someone who had asked for a ride to AZ, to check on the status of the roads in that area. When it was stated that the road required four-wheel drive, and that, on balance, the person was uncertain about making the trip, I bid farewell, which wasn’t entirely the response that was desired. Oh, well. I promised my loved ones to practice safety first.

I said goodbye to the Ghost Ranch staff, thanking them for all that they gave us this week. It’s truly been both a wake-up call, for what I still need to do, spiritually and socially AND a reward for having made a continuous effort at self-improvement. 

The drive back towards Cuba, NM was much more delightful than last Sunday’s drive to GR, as the roads were bare today. When I got to Cuba, I stopped for lunch at Chaco Grill. The owner, who is a friend, had found the item I was missing, and had secured it, intuiting that I would be by to check. So, all was well again!

Getting to Gallup, before sunset, I decided to continue on to Holbrook, then to Winslow. So now I am at some other friends’ establishment-Delta Motel. Tonight, I was given the Veterans’ Room , themed in honour of one of the family’s members who had served in the Army. His uniform and other equipment are here in the room. 

Winslow is a fun town, and also good for at least a night’s rest.

Refinement

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 28, 2023, Moriarty, NM- I made a short visit to the Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, at the south end of Santa Fe Plaza, before leaving town after a lunch at Creperie, in La Fonda Hotel. My visit focused on the Meditation Garden, sitting silently before the statue of the teenaged Mother Mary, and pondering how to properly go forth, in a refined state, on a certain matter. Statues are not spirits, of course, and an icon cannot proffer wisdom. There is, however, energy about-both that which was put into the casting or sculpting of the figure and that which emanates from the person or being who inspired the statue.

These last few days of 2023, and the first four months of the coming year, are largely about refinement- of my present friendships, of my household and of my activities in the community. Friends from whom I had felt estranged, over the past year or so, have reached out and asked me to visit them again. I have no reason to not do so. Another, far away physically, but ever on my mind, will be more the focus of a long game-with patience, thoughtful communication and, above all, unflagging respect for what she might be facing, day to day. 

The main focus of the day was a visit with a friend who is recovering from injury. I found her house fairly easily, and although it is in a rural area, off a dirt road-the road was graded and the dirt driveway represented no problem for Sportage, as the mud was frozen. My visit, to ascertain when I could best transport her to her winter home, led to two hours of conversation about affairs of our Faith. I will return, in mid-January, after a week-long work project, at Ghost Ranch, about an hour away form her home-and spend the latter part of the MLK Day weekend, with said transport.

I was able to drive here, to some friends’ establishment, and a large, comfortable room-as is usual at Lariat Motel. Tomorrow, after checking in on another of the young women I regard as daughters, I will head back to Home Base 1.

2024, in my view, will certainly be a year of action, following this past year of reflection. In my case, a lot of that reflection occurred while I was on my feet-so upcoming activities deserve to be done in a state of refinement. No bulls in this china shop!

Responsibility Takes No Breaks

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Striving

December 24, 2023- The harried man looked at his watch and led his lady friend, into the street, at a corner with an unmarked crosswalk. I was in the process of turning left, onto said street, and was fortunately able to stop-though his hunched shoulders and angry glare suggested he felt his rights had been violated. They did keep on walking across, and fortunately, the cars which were speeding along did not come close to hitting them.

I thought of two things: A pedestrian who is in the road can make any vehicle stop, even if he/she happens to be dancing around or standing still, muttering to self. I was told this, back in 1967, when I first learned to drive. Secondly, it was a reminder that people, this time of year, are not necessarily all that keen on following protocol. Holiday season is seen by many as “non-work”, and therefore not a time to dwell on responsibility. 

The buzzer in my head goes off- EENH! Wrong-o! Suppose the passengers on holiday, in Belgium, about five years ago, had ignored the terrorists who were trying to hijack a passenger train, in Belgium. Suppose that those on Flight 93 had stayed in their seats, as the west bound plane turned around and slammed into the U.S. Capitol, or the White House. In large events and small, those around need to be on game, even if they are coming off a five-month long stint of 18-hour days.

Any parent with small children knows this. Any leader of a community, state/province, or nation knows this. I know this, and so do you. May your Christmas and/or Kwanzaa be peaceful, and hopefully not wrapped up in drama or emergency response.