Category Archives: distraction issues

Cosmetics, Patronization and Curbing My Tongue

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 11, 2023- Kia Sportage went into the shop this morning, to repair an unsightly set of scratches that were caused a while back, by my bugaboo-not being able to back up straight, for much more than six feet. It’ll be two or three days before the cosmetic fix is done. Speaking of cosmetics, I will purchase a scented oil from one friend, to give to another in a few days.

Gifting has never been an act of patronization, or done out of a sense of obligation. I am happy to offer a gift in acknowledging someone’s special day or personal achievement. My one blind spot, it seems, is giving to panhandlers. The louder and more forceful they are, the less they are absolutely going to get from me. A self-styled Buddhist monk is on the street, day and night, sometimes yelling at those of us who pass him by. Anything I would give him would only be encouraging this behaviour. The police, under Arizona law, cannot detain him unless he puts hands on people or blocks their way. So, he sits on a bench and yells about needing support for his “mission”. We are, in this day and age, quite sensitive about singling out the mentally ill, so I have quietly just moved along.

That brings up my own challenge, of talking out of turn or jumping into other people’s conversations-both features of my residual autism. Having had this happen, twice of late-last night and this morning, I know that there is still a bit of work to be done, at looking before I leap-conversation wise. At tonight’s meeting, I was able to just speak my peace and click the mute button. Zoom is a good way to correct conversational faux pas.

The Sticking Points

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 5, 2023- I woke at the usual time today, and after pondering whether to head up to the Grand Canyon’s South Rim, for a walk towards Hermit’s Rest-on the west end of the rim, decided to stay put. There were a few uncertainties, with regard to cherished friends and a needy family. No news is okay news, with regard to said friends, and clarification about the family’s needs came, this evening, for settlement tomorrow. The other good thing is that my bear drum has been repaired and is back with me.

A question has arisen, as to why people seem so widely uncaring. I have to note two things:

1. Humanity, and the planet, are in a state of transition. It is pretty much established that a physical being does not take well to change. Bears hate being woken during hibernation; birds dive bomb anyone who disturbs their nest; humans grouse and complain, or worse, when a sudden, inexplicable change takes place. We often lash out at the messenger- nobody around here much likes the National Weather Service telling us that there will be no monsoon until August, if then, and don’t get retirees around here started on the Federal Reserve Board- “Stealing our money!”, is a not uncommon, if oversimplified, refrain.

2. This sort of off-track thinking, and the uncaring attitude that is noticed by people around me, stem more often than not, from either shallow spirituality, or a dearth thereof . Faith, of course, does not prevent challenges and setbacks from coming along, but it does put things into clearer perspective, and, at least for me, makes things easier to bear. If that annoys you, sorry-but not sorry. I am hard-wired to bull my way through things, anymore-having found that the victim mentality into which I was drawn, in the 2000s, and a few times since, resolved nothing and put me in with some nefarious company. I give credit for transformation largely to those I feel are my spirit guides, a concept in which not everyone believes, but here we are.

The difficulties we, and the planet, are facing largely stem from a wide-scale turning away from spirituality-which may not be true of all the individuals who cry “Foul!”, but which has been, and is, occurring for quite some time now, on a fairly grand scale.

I daresay this befogged life is not that for which we are destined. Only turning to the Divine, in what ever way one perceives It, and by banding together to face difficulties,can we hope to overcome any of the challenges that are thrown at us.

Intensity

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Entertainment, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 24, 2023- The day started in earnest, right around 8 a.m., with a quick visit to Farmer’s Market-stocking up on microgreens for the week and getting two bulbs of garlic and some flowers for a friend’s birthday dinner, later in the day. Running out of cash and tokens, I gave one bulb back to the farmer, then went back to HB, catching a half hour or so of the Celebration of Unity Zoom call.

Next, it was off to a Red Cross Blood Drive, where my role was to staff the registration table-checking people in and making sure they had completed all preliminaries, prior to their donation. This was a fairly busy five hours, and I felt successful and bushed at the end.

After changing clothes and leaving my Red Cross “uniform” at the apartment, it was off to a Farmer’s Market volunteer appreciation gathering, at a salubrious Willow Lake ramada. I was still a bit tired, heading up there, and briefly inconvenienced a tow truck driver, at an intersection. He got in his protest, and that was all. I do my level best, most of the time, on the road, but never will claim perfection. The gathering was exactly what I needed, after an intense work shift, and the company of young mothers and children afforded a unique and most essential take on our collective life.

Finally, after a run to Costco, to replenish the supply of flavoured water for upcoming gatherings of children and adolescents, it was time for the aforementioned birthday party. Four of us enjoyed fresh salad, vegan chili and fresh cherries, covering a wide range of topics in conversation. Wild animals in our midst, the right and responsibility of adults to conduct their own affairs and associating with people with whom we disagree were all covered amiably.

After the intensity of the day, I gladly relaxed at HB, viewing a light episode of a streamed program, then turned out the lights. Tomorrow could be just as intense, if I let it be. I think, though, that won’t be how it turns out.

,

“What Would They Want For You Now?”

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 23, 2023- A group of about two dozen young men walked into a Los Angeles session that offered poetry and meditation, to address social dysfunction. One by one, the men spoke to the three “experts”, saying that all this philosophy was good on its face, but that the reality they faced each day was far more ominous- 9 mm weapons pointed at them, suspicious police tailing and stopping them, food deserts, joblessness, and so on. Besides, the men said, they knew too many of their peers who had been slain on the streets, in the past year.

The experts wisely acknowledged that there were too many souls who hadn’t been honoured, so they asked each of the men to go outside and gather up a stone, for each person they knew, who had been killed in the last year. After several minutes, the men came back inside, each carrying many rocks. They sat down, a candle was lit and placed in the center of the circle, and each person was asked to give a name to each of the stones. He was then to say the name of the victim, and place the stone next to the candle. This continued, until all the stones were set around the candle, honouring each of the murder victims.

Jack Kornfield, a social psychologist, and author of “A Path With Heart”, which helped me so much, in the early stages of grief, in 2011, was one of the “experts”. He posed a question to the men: “What would they want for you now?” One by one, the members addressed that question, in a pensive and serious manner.

As I listened to this presentation, I thought of Dad, Penny, Brian, my in-laws, grandparents, aunts and uncles, even the most rambunctious of my cousins. I think they would want me to know peace, to have arrived at self-acceptance and to keep on in the path of service. Each of them sacrificed, in one way or another, that the world they left behind might be a better place. Friends, like John H., Deedee B., Donna G., Sean W., Mario M., even Frankie Q., would want me to be doubly sure that the person inside this frame was jettisoning the baggage that held me back, for so long.

I have to want the same for myself-and believe me, it is happening-slowly, but steadily.

Solstice Notes

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 21, 2023- The woman I briefly encountered, yesterday, insisted that solstice was another form of equinox-and that there were four days per year, in which the amount of light was equal to that of darkness. Unable to convince her otherwise, I went about my other business. I hope she figures it out by December.

For the rest of us, Solstice was a day of fair celebration. Atop Solstice Mesa, many were gathered, with three barbecue parties going on, when I reached the top carrying my drum. I quietly tapped on old Bear, while gazing at the sunset.

Of course, the conversation among the group members was about the bear which mauled and killed a man, south of town, last Friday. I had met the gentleman once,about two years ago, whilst helping his neighbours, who have since moved into town. This was not the case of a rabid animal, and it appeared to have been otherwise healthy-just somehow deranged. Witnesses say the man was minding his own business and the bear caught him from behind.

Another conversation took place earlier, on the topic of intentional communities. These have been cropping up, all over the country, somewhat in reaction to the proliferation of housing units owned by Private Equity firms, which have no compunction about pricing housing out of reach of a good many people-singles and families alike. Intentional communities exist in Arizona. I know one small IC, whose residents were once friends of mine, but have seemingly closed themselves off from many of us. There are larger ICs, with one of the most famous being in the far northeast corner of Washington State. They have some similarity to the communes of the ’60s and ’70s, but there is a structure and purpose to their operation, thus the “Intentional” part of the name. See http://www.ic.org.

My chiropractor has found that spine and musculature are in vastly improved condition. He credits my activity-and the lost weight. I know how to maintain both now, so the check-ups will be every six weeks, rather than monthly. A set of medical lab tests, tomorrow, will hopefully offer further affirmation.

We now all await the monsoon season-with the forecast calling for two more weeks of dry heat, followed by a build-up of humidity and moisture, starting July 5. That is quite standard. I will be around, at any rate.

What Spring Sprung

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 20, 2023- I had lunch with a good friend, in a restaurant run by another good friend. This was the high point of a day that was intentionally low key. I needed to regroup, after the intensity of the camps and yesterday’s clean-up, and spending an hour or so with Akuura was a good way to relax. It’s been a while, due to my being busy with camp, so we covered a lot of ground. Emileigh, as always, was solicitous, while being low key-just a delightful young lady.

That brings me to the whole matter of “friend” vs. “acquaintance”. In tonight’s Zoom call, a session of the ongoing “Copper 2 Gold” series on Race Unity, a few people made a strong case for being discerning, in using the term “friend”. I have a different take. I consider people friends, even if we barely know one another, if I sense that they have my best interests at heart, and are kind, overall, to other people as well. “Acquaintance” is a term with which I have a hard time, mainly because people I trusted, in the past, have referred to me as such, in a standoffish and negative way. Having felt like an outsider, too often in the past, I use the term in my own speech to refer to those I meet once or twice, like a clerk in a store that I don’t frequent.

Spring has come to an end, and with it, the academic year of 2022-23; the Bellemont camp season; my tenure as Study Circle Coordinator, in Prescott Cluster (area)- a Baha’i volunteer position, which rotates every five or six years; and the intense phase of my weight reduction program (202-38= 164). What Spring sprung was a keener sense of self-worth and a better ability to help others, without putting myself behind the Eight Ball.

Now comes summer-much of it to be spent here at Home Base, or within a day’s drive. It’ll be refreshing to be around for the Fourth of July and another friend’s milestone birthday. Of course, a drive up north will take up two weeks in the latter part of July and the end of summer will find me back east, for Mom’s latest milestone. In between, barring Red Cross emergencies, I will be here in the place that the gracious Divine has set aside for my well-being.

Heave-Ho

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 19, 2023- The bags went into the landscaper’s trailer quite fast, and two at a time. Two of us managed to clear one pile and add 1/4 of the other, some it dry yard waste and some rather wet refuse from the kitchen. We got to the landfill in about thirty minutes, at which point the driver went through a learning curve about Landfill Etiquette. His documents were accepted, but it took just a little explanation of the protocol for dumping and re-weighing an empty vehicle. We then drove out to the dump site and reversed the process-emptying the trailer. The same process played out, one more time, rinse and repeat. It was a bit warmer, and the bags heavier, but we managed quite well.
Two men, working with a purpose, got a task, which many said needed four pairs of hands, done in two hours, driving 22 miles each way.

Others, in several other places, chose to act out-using what is becoming the default method of solving problems, in too many instances. In Willowbrook, IL; George, WA; Lewistown, PA; St. Louis; Carson, CA; Baltimore; Kellogg, ID; Philadelphia; San Francisco and Milwaukee, people were slain-“for reasons unknown”. It could have been a domestic disturbance, or someone who had a bad childhood lashing out at others celebrating Father’s Day, or someone angry at the Juneteenth holiday. It could have just been someone deciding to kill for the thrill.

We did our share of heave-ho, this morning. It’s time for another sort of heave-ho: Stop making excuses for people who use guns to solve their problems. I know a good many who own guns, and use them properly; some are lifelong friends and some are family members. They would not think of taking their frustrations out on the lives of others. They would not make their weapons available to misfits or to the immature. It is time to demand an end to giving firearms to the mentally ill, in the name of the Second Amendment. It soils the dignity of that document and tarnishes the very term “American”. It is time to stop putting profits-or ideology, before human lives, in both this specific area and in a broader sense.

The bigger the problem, the more collective effort is needed. We know this, and yet…..

Camp Three, Day Two: Cold Lava Tubes and A Warm Bonfire

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 14, 2023, Bellemont– The tell-tale thump, after I had loaded the empty propane tanks into Sportage, for a short journey of refilling, turned into a learning exercise in putting together an inflation kit. The kit, when plugged into what used to be the cigarette lighter port, operates from the battery and puts enough air into most tires to get a vehicle to the nearest town-as long as it is not a hundred miles away. Like yours truly, Sportage does not any longer come with a spare tire.

“Town” being Flagstaff, twelve miles away, I managed to get to the Big O Tire outlet and when the service manager noted my long history with that company, my tire was repaired free of charge. Getting the propane tanks refilled was an easy next task.

The campers spent the afternoon in the Kendrick Park Lava Tubes, where they encountered ice-lots of it, on their carefully-picked way down. The tubes are icy and cold, ten months of the year- July and August being the exceptions, before ice re-forms as nights, at least, start to cool again in September. “September Swelter” is less of a thing in the High Country, at least for now.

When they returned, pizza awaited, after a brief period of unwinding. The campers, ranging in age from six to forty-six, were uniformly in awe of the Lava Tubes, having spent 2 1/2 hours picking their way along. After dinner, they rested further and finished the day with devotions, songs and s’mores, around the first campfire I have built in almost thirty years. The basics worked-pine needles on the bottom, then small sticks, short branches and the larger wood on the top. The campers were delighted and the day was another success.

Life itself daily features cold, followed by hot, and vice versa. Cormac McCarthy, who died yesterday, was first known to me through his “No Country for Old Men”- a chilling tale of a psychopathic genius on a mission of mayhem, in west Texas. McCarthy himself was a warm paragon of inspiration to amateur writers like me. His idea of heaven was to sit in a quiet spot and write his heart out. I fully intend to read his “The Road”, next week, as it concerns itself with fatherhood.

The day also featured a side drama, with someone far from here telling me, essentially, that she would show God a thing or two, and her Satan would show his power I calmly observed that Satan is a construct, and while dark energy can wreak havoc, when concentrated in an individual’s mind or in collective action, it has no creativity and no long-term strength. The Divine, the Creative Force, on the other hand, is enduring, is all about creativity and being unknowable, as to Essence, and is far beyond any man-made construct, no matter how appealing that construct may be to a fragile human ego.

People do what they do-and only action based on love will endure.

Second Camp, Day Two: Retirement? What Retirement?

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 11, 2023, Bellemont- My well-accomplished third sibling/second-born brother celebrated a birthday, today, and is actively moving towards retirement, in the near future. We talked for a while, about his post-retirement plans and, like anything else that is speculative, several options, including “semi-retirement”, come to mind. He will do what is best for his wife and himself, by year’s end.

I pondered my own situation, after the call ended. Today was the second and last day of this second camp, and things went very well, with this small and lively group. The kids cut up a bit and had fun, but were anything but destructive. Working with groups of children and teens adds to my life. So does working with the Red Cross, in Disaster Relief, Logistics and as Blood Ambassador. Advocating for displaced people, as I will do tomorrow, also is a plus. Being in nature and visiting family and friends farther afield also extend a quality life.

There is, then, no real retirement from an active life, until one is called homeward. Even then, the spirit self is exuding energy towards helping those of us still in the mortal frame. We are always making a difference, so long as we so choose.

Second Camp, Day One: Tips for Staying Warm

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Uncategorized

June 10, 2023, Bellemont- The chaperone noted that one problem with propane tanks is that the gas can freeze at the nozzle, and it is this which causes the supply of gas to seem like it is fading, due to an empty tank. The tank, in fact, might actually still be quite full. So, we wrapped the nozzles with towels, and hopefully that will keep the generators running.

We are reaching the tail end of cold nights, in the high country and by the time Camp 3 starts, on Tuesday evening, things should be calmer, on the generator and heater front. In short order, if Camp 4 actually happens, we will need to supplant heaters with floor fans. 90 degree heat is not unknown here, around Solstice. For the time being, though, the concern is staying warm at night.

This brings up the notion of staying warm, psychologically and emotionally. I have been up, down and all around, in the latter respect, for much of my life. Recently, I have been watching a series devoted to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also called “Tapping”, for the physical aspect of the method. Dr. Carol Look is the present proprietor of the information relative to this practice, which entails actually tapping nine pressure points, in the cranial and thoracic regions of the body, using one’s index and middle fingers, of one or both hands. https://www.carollook.com/welcome-to-eft-tapping/

Thus far, it does seem to be working, in helping me maintain a clearer view of a few lingering problematic socioemotional aspects of my life. Things that kept surfacing in my brain, uninvited, fade when I actually go through the tapping process. It’s quite reassuring.