Category Archives: Family

Navigating

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

October 6,2024, Manila- The day started and ended with rain. Thus, the nice picnic devotional we had planned for late morning became an indoor affair. I brought chicken fillets, topped with dinakdakan sauce. Kathy and her male cousin contributed a rather good pizza. Others brought a regional variation on pancit- a generic Tagalog name for noodles. There was also a seaweed dish, brought by one of the young men. I have been a fan of seaweed since the days we lived in Jeju, Korea. It is a powerhouse of nutrients. I will describe dinakdakan, which I find tasty, upon request. (No, it is not made from insects).

The afternoon was spent in study of aspects of Huquq’u’llah, which I have discussed in earlier posts (see especially Sept. 16, 2024). It was not dry and intense-no Filipino would sit through such boredom for long, but it was done with attention and focus. Kathy knows what she’s doing, especially when it comes to academic presentation of financial matters. I was honoured to sit at her right-hand side and contribute a fair amount to the discussion. Much of it was in Tagalog, but I had everyone’s attention when offering thoughts in English.

Towards the end of the meeting, K’s cousin pressed me to extend my stay- “permanently”. She and I exchanged knowing glances, smiled and I said I would need to go back to the U.S., for six months. There are several things needing attention at Home Base, in Carson City and back East-not excluding the possibility of time in the Southeast, given this year’s sudden explosion of hurricane energy-shades of 2005. Brief visits to San Diego and Jalisco are likely in February, and I will want to get to Massachusetts and Pennsylvania, in April.

So, we have pretty much agreed on a May return. How “permanent” will be influenced by things like the birth of one or more grandchildren-still to be determined, BTW. Today, though, I learned that any mixed signals I may have sensed, over the past day or so, were mainly in my mind. This beautiful, compassionate, intelligent woman, whose friendship I am so privileged to secure, is for real.

More Transition

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

October 4,2024, Manila- She was long a champion of civil rights, for racial minorities and women. “Sexual minorities” were a bit harder for her, but she was trying to understand. Michele was, nonetheless, a compassionate friend of 35 years.

It was she, and her late husband, Tom, who talked me into taking a road trip to San Francisco-Oakland, in 2012; of course, swinging by their then-home in Reno and caravanning to the Bay Area. From there, I headed north, after three days of commemorating ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s 1912 visit to that area. After Tom passed away, in 2013, I continued to visit Michele and her family, which I came to regard as an extension of my own. Her eldest granddaughter became a surrogate grand-niece, followed, seven years later, by her little brother.

Sis has been getting weaker, these past few years, though she did not lose any of her feistiness. On my last visit, three months ago, she stood strongly against what she regarded as a general moral laxity. She cautioned me, on a different note, against up and leaving the United States, for what she regarded as a pipe dream of living abroad again. I think she felt the hourglass was running out. Last night, it did. Michele Le Boutellier Smith passed away, at the age of 75.

Michele may yet turn out to have been right. I have pretty much hit a plateau, in several aspects, as to what I can accomplish in Manila, and after giving it a few more days, will likely move on to the provinces for a couple of weeks. It is encouraging to me, though, that a well-educated, savvy gentleman is stepping up as a moving and shaking force for the Baha’i Faith in the capital area. Today, at lunch, he articulated some solid practical ideas for making the Regional Baha’i Center a true locus for the betterment of the community. It is the local residents who must achieve the true greatness of a place. Visitors like me, no matter how loving or well-intentioned, wear out our welcomes after so many days.

Transitions have been at flood tide, in a number of respects, in this Eight Universal Year, which always seems to bring about drastic change. The number of close family and friends who have left my life, either through death or attrition in the past nine months, is jarring. It is also not entirely unexpected. The year is not over yet, by a long shot, so I hang on and continue to work for the best.

Somewhere, in the great energy field to which we all go, at some point, all my relations and extended family of friends are sending the energy that will guide me aright, as long as I pay attention. I will probably be walking that path largely alone, but that is okay. I can do this.

Seventy Years Ago….

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Posted by on in collaborating, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 30, 2024, Puerto Princesa- An ecstatic woman, in Long Island City, NY, screamed with delight, at the news she had just been given. Her first granddaughter, after two sons and a grandson, was born. For the Fellmans, of Long Island City and Jamesburg, NJ, the birth of little Penny righted a top-heavy ship.

She would go on, transcending a congenital defect, for over 45 years, building an Intelligence Quotient of 161, graduating summa cum laude from the University of Virginia and earning three Master’s Degrees-all in the field of education. As a member of the Baha’i Faith, from 1977, she would serve with distinction, as an educator, on the Navajo Reservation, in Jeju, South Korea, and in El Mirage, AZ. In the latter town, she would be led out to retirement, gently and with gratitude from the Superintendent’s Office, even as she was attacked by those within the school who had no understanding of her struggles.

I met Penny in December,1980, as the snow swirled around Zuni, New Mexico, as a house blessing ceremony, called Shalako, took place in a cozy, but crowded home. We took turns sitting in a single chair and became enamoured of one another. We would date, off and on, for eighteen months, and married in June, 1982. We met some auspicious milestones-Valentine’s Day engagement, marriage on the sixth day of the sixth month-and welcoming our son on the seventh day of the seventh month. Marriage was often stormy, but never rocky, and through her final eleven years, she had her men beside her-to her last breath.

Penny missed joining the Seventies Club by thirteen years and seven months. I could tell that she would have loved this day, though she was adamant about not making a big deal of her birthday-or mine, for that matter. There was always that twinkle in her eye, when she was honoured. I feel her light, shining through the veil-telling me to continue on my path. So, on I go.

A Noble Partnership

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, Historical, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Travel

September 24, 2024- A groan came from the back of the taxi, and I turned to see my sister-friend trying to stomp a cockroach, which scurried out of harm’s way-toward my beloved, who also tried to stomp and missed. Being the man in the party of three, Filipino culture dictated that I sit in the front passenger seat, so despite my annoyance at the insect being near my friends, I could do nothing-but wait and see if it came towards my space. Somehow, it stayed hidden under my seat-and we all refocused.

We had been on an outing, first to the Philippine-American Cemetery, where 17,000 men and women, who died fighting the Japanese invaders, between 1941-45, are laid to rest. Those Missing in Action are named also named on a Wall of Honour. This wall is in three segments, each of which has several columns. Kathy wondered if any of my family members died in service, during World War II. None did, but my late father-in-law was a prisoner of war, in Berga, Germany, for five long months, in 1945. As a Jew, he was given “special” torment. Two of my maternal uncles were in the Navy, during the Battle of Midway. One of them served with valor, when his ship was shot out from under him and crew mates. He received a Silver Star for his actions. One of my paternal aunts served in the Women’s Naval Corps, the only member of her family who was able to serve at the time. I did find a distant relative, a Robert Boivin, USN, who was killed in action in the Philippines. There may be others, as we did not go to the Army, Marines or Coast Guard sections, which we will visit another day.

We viewed a film about the sequence of events There were so many heroic figures, among the Filipino and American forces, including many of both who acted as guerillas, constantly harassing the occupants. Filipino civilians also acted in wily fashion, many operating right under the noses of the overconfident Rising Sun. All those who died, made the soil of the Philippine nation fertile, in the best of ways. My head is bowed in tribute.

Here are some scenes from our visit to this hallowed spot.

The Home Front of America sprang to action.
People of colour were in the forefront of the battle for the Philippines, and elsewhere.
Kathy and Norlie are among the grateful.
So am I.
Norlie’s grandfather was one of the above.
I still stand ready.
This cenotaph honours the fallen, collectively.
Robert Boivin, Signal Corps, USN, was a distant cousin.
Three of Penny’s distant maternal cousins, Anthony, Ervin and Kyee Faust, were also in the forefront of the battle-at Leyte Gulf (1944).

Here is another view of the Cenotaph. It is actually a chapel, with a statue of St. Mary inside.

Afterwards, we went to one of the legacies of Philippine freedom: The new financial center of Manila: Bonifacio Global Center. There, we met another friend and I became the lovely ladies’ paparazzo.

Bonifacio Global Center
Norlie, Kathy and Ylona at “BGC”.

We got a late start today, but it didn’t matter.

Metro Manila, Day 5: A Day of Study, Then A Deluge

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 15, 2024, Manila- There was an insistent parade of kids, in and out of the small conference room, as our study group continued on its course-looking into the Baha’i concept of Huquq’u’llah, or Right of God. This fund, which I have described before, is a voluntary obligation. Simply put, if a Baha’i accumulates a certain amount of money, above and beyond what is needed for expenses, it behooves the person to check into the current price of gold, and if s(he) has accumulated wealth equal to, or above, the value of 2.2246 ounces (69 grams), then 19 % of that amount may be paid to Huquq’u’llah. That satisfies the obligation, until another amount that meets that criterion is accumulated. One’s primary residence, primary vehicle and necessary household effects are exempt from this obligation. The bottom line is that such giving is between the individual and the Divine. Even those managing the fund have no business overseeing the frequency of giving.

My friend, Kathy, led the group study and discussion, setting a tone of gentleness and grace towards the children, who mostly just wanted to be sure their parents had not forgotten them, in the course of the meeting. The kids were in the capable hands of a separate instructor, but there is just nobody who can replace Mom and Dad. So, the in and out parade went on, as did our study, the two weaving around one another. It all served to increase my feelings of love and respect for her, and for Filipino culture.

We all dispersed, around 3 p.m., with the group members all going on with their family activities, and me going on, to do my laundry and post the photos from yesterday’s outing. The evening was quiet, at Ola! Hostel and the nearby Sasa Cafe, until it wasn’t. Around 10 p.m., the skies opened up, and the loud thunder that had been rumbling for over an hour, was accompanied by mildly flooded streets. This is nothing new to Manilenos, of course, and being up three floors from the ground level, I found nothing alarming, either. It just added an exclamation point to a mildly declarative day.

Metro Manila, Day 3: No Place for Bad Luck

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

September 13, 2024, Manila- There are two schools of thought about Friday the 13th. One holds that both Friday and the number 13 augur badly. The other counters with the cultural artifact that the day is named for Freya, Norse goddess of love, war and fertility. It also is deemed unlucky, in Norse mythology, as Loki the Trickster was the thirteenth Norse god.

The Vikings may have given themselves reason to be conflicted about Friday the 13th, but I personally have never had any hard luck associated with the day. This day was no different. I was able to extend my time at Ola! Hostel, my dear friend arranged a nice group outing for tomorrow, as well as help me get a bus ticket for a visit to central Luzon, late next week. and I was able to join a study group from Arizona online.

Most of the day was quotidian, otherwise, but that has never been a bad thing. I helped with shopping, at an open air market and house sat, while the Baha;i Cnter’s caretaker went to tend to another matter.

Every day, loud or quiet, has its advantages.

While I’m Away…..

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Posted by on in Community, Entertainment, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Uncategorized

September 8, 2024- I had a full morning and early afternoon, with an excellent breakfast at Post 6, then ninety minutes or so of conversation with some line mates waiting for Empty Bowls to open their “gate”. The fund raiser for Prescott area Food Banks and Pantries has taken place every year since 1997. I have volunteered in the past, but today, I was one of the multitude who purchased a bowl, and two servings of soup. There were fourteen types of soup, from seafood gumbo to charred peach. I took a helping of gumbo, then an old favourite- garden minestrone. Local Girl Scouts were present in force-minding the recycling area and washing/drying our bowls-loudly advertising their services, for about two minutes, until they were gently advised to let the signage do the work.

I chose carefully, from a wide selection of beautiful bowls. The basin reflects life itself-half polished and half rough.

The outside evokes basket weaving, both First Nations and indigenous Filipino. It is, though, very much glazed ceramic.

Afterwards, I had a small meal with Hiking Buddy, introducing her to Lazy G, before heading back to Home Base to continue packing for tomorrow’s Prescott-Phoenix-Los Angeles leg, which will of course be followed on Tuesday/Wednesday, to Hong Kong and Manila.

Prescott in the Fall offers an almost continuous array of festivals, so local readers and would-be visitors, consider:

Hope Fest- September 14, at Courthouse Square. This day-long event features a variety of community services, from Legal Aid to haircuts, family entertainment and inspirational music. It’s free.

Prescott Powwow- September 20-22, at Watson Lake, has a theme of “Elders Embracing the Youth”. I have attended twice in the past, and found it a strong expression of First Nations values. There is a $5 parking fee, and food trucks are onsite.

Prescott Valley Harvest Festival- October 5, at Prescott Valley Civic Center, one of many Harvest Festivals in the area, in early October. This is the one that is presently being advertised. It, too, is free.

Prescott Plein Air Festival- This series of art exhibitions takes place from September 17-October 13, in locations from Yavapai College to Highlands Nature Center. No mention of any admission fee.

Prescott Highland Games and Celtic Faire- September 28-29, at Watson Lake. Tickets are $15 for an adult day pass and $30 for an adult weekend pass, at the gate. Discounts for on-line booking and for seniors/students/military. https://www.prescottareacelticsociety.com/ticket-prices/

Besides these, there are several concerts featuring Country Music, Christian Music and several other genres. Home Base is never dull.

Grace

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Education, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 5,2024-

Grace be unto the angels who watch over me. Mom and Dad, Penny, Brian, Bunny and Norm, my grandparents, friends Marcia, Gordon, Margaret, Sallie, John H. They bring blessings to this small spiritual center.

Grace and benevolence to those who seek to oppress, that they may make a turn from their pursuit of power, vengeance, retribution, hegemony. May they see the value of unconditional love.

Grace, protection and guidance be to the children and youth, that they may realize their dreams, and bring about a convergence like those which have been tried, so often in the past.

Grace and beneficence to the dour, the tired and the disconsolate, that they may see the beauty and joy that they have overlooked, in the course of their viewing work as drudgery, as a necessary evil.

Grace be unto all the Universe, that every element, every creature be mindful, heartfelt of the Source that brought us all into being.

It was a good day today. The kids and I struggled a bit, with some features of the technological program, but all worked together and we accomplished the tasks. That was the morning, followed by a hearty curried chicken lunch. An evening meeting, of one of the organizations whose leadership I had found a bit oppressive, proved quite welcoming and joyful-with more people in attendance, who had previously avoided “the club”. The leaders themselves were far more cordial than in the recent past. Maybe they are feeling more optimistic, and therefore more expansive.

May it continue.

Loyalty

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 3, 2024- The old reminiscing intelligence officer, in the currently-playing film “Reagan”, speaks at one point of the reason people give their lives: “Not for the nation, nor for the Party, the State, or even for God-but for one another. ” It rings true: Behind every sacrifice, there is loyalty to a loved one, or maybe several- Parents for children, and vice versa; siblings for one another; friends, likewise and, occasionally, a few noble souls for their compatriots as a group.

After a recent non-verbal dust-up between me and someone with a more elitist view of life, several friends have asked if there is anything they might do to help. There isn’t, really, and the best thing for me to do is to let the other person alone, and let time do its thing. Personality differences rarely get resolved through intervention, shaming or castigation. People are the sum total of their experiences, plus all that DNA. Only internal processing and heart transformation can lead to a turn-around. Only that turn-around can make someone loyal to others beside self. Besides, I have to fall back on the message of one of Sportage’s bumper stickers: “Love your enemies and you won’t have any”.

My own loyalty to anyone besides myself and my immediate family came late, and came hard. Only giving up alcohol really changed my temperament, and even then, it was Penny’s love, and the Baha’i teachings, that brought my heart more into awareness of a larger circle of humanity. Beforehand, my concern for the human race was present in the background, surfacing on occasion-and therefore coming across as contrived, mainly because internally it was an abstraction.

Now my layered loyalty is what sustains me, both emotionally and physically.

Another Banner Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Education, Family, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 23, 2024- The little girl introduced herself, about ten minutes after the first group of students came in. When I told her of a newborn baby who shared her name, she shrugged and said “There are a lot of us”.

There was much that was matter-of-fact about this group of children. Even the most squirrely of kids were most responsive when expectations were clearly stated, and most resistant, when they thought I was listening to tattle tales. Those last were discouraged from their snooping and the wayward ones settled down.

Today was a shorter work day, so it took no adjustment to go over and pick up my healed Lenovo, which basically just needed to be cleaned up, internally. We are all set for the next few months, which will be quite full of the unexpected, even aside from my journey across the Pacific.

My family achieved another milestone, of a nature personal to my siblings and me. This is just one less matter that might have been irritating. It was handled professionally and well. It gives me confidence that we are each on the right track in our respective lives.

Another well-lived week has passed, giving more strength for what lies ahead.