Category Archives: Family

The Road to Diamond, Day 202: Antics and Responsibility

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 18, 2025- A man came into Theodore’s Fine Foods, his little son in tow-or maybe it was boy with Dad in tow. At any rate the child had the place captivated, as he relished a raised doughnut, covered in chocolate. His father went for napkins, several times, enjoying his own bagel and cream cheese, in between face wipes. It’s been a while since I’ve seen such enjoyment of a breakfast pastry by a small child. The boy did not run about, but sat joyfully until the treat was eaten. He then carefully walked his plate to the dish bin, and his napkins to the trash receptacle. This, apparently, was not his first go-round.

This is what I’ve observed as the most common behaviour of children in a restaurant. I’ve heard the horror stories-of parent engrossed in the phone screen, whilst brother and sister are pulling each other’s hair and tussling in the aisle. I have yet to see such things. I think the last time I experienced an obstreperous child carrying on in a public space was before Aram was born. Penny and I stopped at a small cafe, en route to Phoenix. A child, around the corner and out of sight, was yellling continuously, for about ten minutes. A deep voice called out, “SHUT UP!” Nothing further was heard from noisemaker. Son, himself, learned to behave nicely, after one trip back to the car, of an evening’s dinner stop.

Most parents just seem to be doing a good job, by their children. The key, Penny and I figured out fairly quickly, was consistency. It is natural for a child to try and push the boundaries, even playing one parent against the other-or comparing the parents to the neighbour families. We did not fall for that. Aram got the basic tools he has needed for success. As did yours truly, he had to decide himself to put those tools to use.

The tool kit will, at some point in the not-too-distant future, be passed along to our next generation. I hope to watch and support that effort.

The Road to Diamond, Day199: Fatherhood at 37

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, Education, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 15, 2025- In less than a month, Aram will be the same age that I was when he was born. There is a significance to this, which I cannot as yet divulge, but it is quite prescient. That age seems to be a call to maturity, in a very practical way. Aram has entered the field for which he has prepared, and is off to a good start. I rose to a solid position,in South Korea, around the time of his birth, and would have remained, but for family complications here in the U.S. I landed on my feet, once back here, but that is another story.

I was decidedly a late bloomer. My son does not have to be. He has long been recognized for leadership skills and has a solid work ethic. He is more grounded than I was, at that age. A number of mentors, both familial and professional, have helped in that regard. He is wise enough to seek our collective counsel, and to listen to the best of the advice given. I am confident in his future.

In our society that is at once aloof and indulgent, the skills that a person needs to succeed require a lot of self-discipline, of proactivity. There is a need for flexibility and for being able to find resources that make up for what government and industry may not offer, in the way of doing one’s job. Being able to see beyond make-work tasks, some of which are designed to salve the egos of higher-ups, is crucial. The superfluous still needs to get done, but even the most self-absorbed of corporate or public officials will appreciate a self-starter on their staff. One can always grouse, afterward, but the tasks will not go away on their own.

Fatherhood has some of the same aspects. One cannot argue, successfully with a toddler, or to a lesser extent, with a teenager. The hard work still needs to get done, though, and chances are the finished product will be a solid member of society, if the father (along with the mother) does not back away from core principles. As with teaching, the reward may not be seen until later, but the wait is worth it.

These are my thoughts, as my son actively considers becoming a father, in his own right.

The Road to Diamond, Day 196: Clarity

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inner Struggles, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 12, 2025- Angela sang a mix of love songs and reflective ballads, in the corner of Gypsy’s Bakery, where I stopped for a while to enjoy a light lunch. Gypsy’s is just one of several delightful spots that are within walking distance of Home Base I, making it as easy to take a meal out as it is to prepare my own. Angela’s music was an unexpected and soothing bonus.

I had a modest mission besides: Getting a back-up medical monitoring device, as my old one may be just wearing out, after fifteen years. I feel perfectly well, and want to keep it that way. With a potential addition to our family to consider, I need to be “in fighting trim”.

There are tempests swirling around, in other parts of the country and across the globe. These could be mitigated by clear communication, but the trend, for many years, has been to play close to the vest, and to talk in riddles. Another trend has been for people to approach one another like bulls in a china shop, or cannons aimed at mosquitos. Clarity, ahead of action, is the only way to avoid the miscommunication that has led us to our two current impasses, one domestic, the other international.

Some will say that the world is too complex for clarity. Well, we see what obfuscation has brought us: 249 dead in a plane crash in India; mass destruction in Iran; increasing tendency to pre-empt dissent, by merely arresting the possible dissenter(s) ahead of time. Obfuscation comes from ambition gone sideways; as does repression; as does vengeance.

I pray for all those in Israel, Iran, India and across our country, that there is safety and that there is a return to sanity-as well as clarity.

The Road to Diamond, Day 192: Own Inner Voice Speaks

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 8, 2025- The message was crystal clear, this morning: “You need no coffee right now. Water is more urgent.” It was certainly a no-brainer; it’s hot, for the next several days. This, however, is a long-term notion. I can, and will, drastically cut back on coffee consumption (no more 3-4 cups a day), and when visiting lovely cafes, can order items such as “Golden Milk”, fruity coolers or chai, especially during our lengthy heat cycle. (It’s not just here in Arizona. Both places that are potentially alternate residences-North Texas and the Philippines, lend themselves well to consumption of cool beverages. Europe (September) will also have a plethora of healthy beverages, besides great coffee-and tea.

I have often relied on spirit guides, and the loving advice of friends and family, in both health-related matters and planning activities or travel. In planning changes to my diet, the past day or so, my own inner voice took charge. So, cool water or shakes will be at my side, while I read the morning paper.

Meals are always smaller in the summer. Breakfast, except for the Post on Sunday, is fairly small. Lunch is a plateful of nuts and crunchy (the traditional meaning of the word) mini-pretzels. Dinner is a modest portion of something healthful, though not often vegetarian or vegan. There is no going back to heavy.

I owe it to my little family, to someone else who I love very much and to so many, both here and across the globe, who have been so kind and devoted to my well-being, to cultivate and listen to the inner voice that wants me to stay the course, for another 25 years at least.

Raise a glass of cucumber or melon water, or a cup of coolness, to the faithful inner voice!

The Road to Diamond, Day 190: Ever Connected

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 6, 2025- As I sat this morning, contemplating what to do, as a hiking plan was interrupted by unforeseen circumstances, messages came to me from the single most important soul in my life, thus far. I was to firm up both short-term and long-range plans, for service in Prescott and Bellemont and for visiting friends in Europe, come September.

Forty-three years have gone by, since Penny and I committed to each other. That commitment endured a number of challenges, most seriously her hereditary disease, which dogged her all her life, but came on strongest in the 2000s, and eventually took her life. Those close to me know that she and I went through this hellish time together-and I did not flinch.

A friend of Kathy’s and mine, who also lives in the Philippines, wrote that the need of any woman is for her man to stand by her, and not use her as a plaything. Nothing is truer. My primary interest in Kathy is that she realizes her dreams and her own life plan. We both must tend to our respective families first, and if it comes to pass that we have time together, that will be gravy.

Getting back to the promptings of the spirit mentioned above, I have a few days at the turnover between June and July to devote to a group at Bellemont. There will be a lot of Red Cross work, both in person and online, the next two weeks. Slow Food, the Farmers Market and Solid Rock soup kitchen will continue to figure in the mix, throughout the summer.

I will fulfill promises made in 2016 and again last year, to visit friends in Sweden, Croatia and Great Britain, in September, with an initial stop in Iceland. There may be other places during and right after these visits. I have been told to stick to a one-day-at-a-time mentality, and so it will be.

In the end, today was a re-assuring day and a fair number of things were resolved-just no hike. I am ever grateful to all the people in my life, especially to the women, both living and in the ethereal world.

The Road to Diamond, Day 185: Heads or Tails?

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Posted by on in Assistance, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

June 1, 2025- I received a notice from the airline that I’ve been using most often ,these past four years, that my accumulated miles will expire in six months. I have plans to use them, and to add to them, three months from now. Where exactly will depend on a couple of family-related matters that will take clearer shape, in the next month or two. I may be needed at that point in time, or the matter will wait until later in the Fall.

There is an energy in June that says: “Hold off; rest; take care of small, procedural matters and day-to-day interactions. This month, you probably won’t need to go far afield. ” I like that, actually. It will be enough to stand my ground, regarding July, and others’ demands and expectations for that month. It will be enough to plan a bit for September and October. It will be more than enough, still, to resolve the important, when the most important looms over it.

Much of what goes on in life is a flip of the coin. I can only hope that those for whom the toss does not go in their favour will understand that this is not personal. Family is most important; then come those extended family who deeply touch my heart; then comes the community that I have carefully chosen to serve. I realize this is all rather nebulous, but here we are. A lot of moving pieces need to be helped to find their places.

The Road to Diamond, Day 182: Heaviness

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 29, 2025- It was hard, somehow, to maintain focus during a meeting I attended this morning and through the noon hour. It wasn’t the fault of the presenter, or of the subject matter. The air was cool, so it was not that, either. There was just a heaviness today, that stayed with me, requiring a more concerted effort to get what I needed from the Red Cross training session-for which I was an assistant commentator, to boot. It lingered, even as I purchased a dinner item from a nearby pizzeria, for evening consumption, and as I later exercised on a recumbent bike at Planet Fitness. It wasn’t a physical issue-my blood pressure read normal and I was breathing easily. There had to be some deeper cause.

In this late hour, I am reminded that today would have been the 61st birthday of my late youngest brother, Brian, who died in 1994, just shy of his 30th. He would have been proud of my service to the community, albeit at a very rudimentary level, as his disabilities made communication difficult. Nonetheless, there was a very basic love about the child, and later, the man. It was in our interactions with him that each of his four siblings developed a compassion for those less fortunate. That has informed our social and community behaviours, as much as any experiences we each have had over six or seven decades.

Those who have left us will communicate in various ways. I think now that the spirit of my baby brother was reminding me that sometimes, life takes a gargantuan effort, just to get through an ordinary day. The heaviness lifted, as I sat and read some pages of a book on the ancient Mediterranean world. Brian liked to pretend to read aloud. He would surely have approved.

The Road to Diamond, Day 178: “Like Everybody Else”

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 25, 2025- As I explained that, unless there is a lot of background noise, I can hear people speaking in a normal tone of voice quite well, one of the others at breakfast objected: “Why do you not have hearing aids, like everybody else here?” While I could use a wax cleaning, the fact remains that I don’t have a sustained hearing loss, as yet.

There have been frequent times in my life, when well-intentioned people have urged: “Fit in!” I have, as the years have gone by, pretty much struck a balance between those aspects of conformity that have made sense to me and following my own path. Doing things a certain way, simply because that is what “everybody else” is doing, does not inherently make sense. First of all, no one knows “everybody else”. Each of us knows only a small segment of a given community, and can only claim to have a cursory knowledge of what the rest are doing. Secondly, we know even less of what others do, behind closed doors and drawn shades.

I have basically chosen the road map offered by my parents and other trusted elders, in charting my course and passing along guidance to my son-and the grandchild(ren), when they come. He, and they, in turn, will use their own judgment in adapting to changing circumstances. Conformity only makes sense, when circumstances are the same -as in “driving on the right hand side of the road (except when in countries where it is customary to drive on the left), showing courtesy to those one meets, or bathing/grooming each day,for the sake of health.

So much has changed, though, in my seventy four years, to say nothing of son’s nearly 37 years-or the short lives of my grand nephews and nieces. There are bound to be further changes, and even some of those will be temporary. It is the basics, those behaviours based on love, that will endure and be the foundation for a useful conformity. For those, we can hopefully count on “everybody else”.

The Road to Diamond, Day 173: Home Lands

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 20, 2025- Coming down the mountain from Strawberry Junction to Camp Verde, my main concern was putting my energy into the safety of the large load of logs being hauled in front of me, and staying in the slow line, regardless of my wanting to get back to Prescott. The truck was fine, even when an antsy driver behind us pulled his pick-up and drove around the line, crossing double yellow lines, when he spotted a minute or two. There is one in every crowd.

I arrived back at Home Base I around 3 p.m., picked up my mail and sorted out the junk from magazines and legitimate bills that still come through snail mail. The VA stuff is always among the latter. I also had to deal with a broken blind mount, for which duct-taping the blinds to the side window will allow privacy for a day or so, until I can get a new set of mounts. (I rarely have opened said blinds, in eleven years, so it must have been one of the workmen who are installing my apartment’s AC unit, who messed with the blinds.)

Home Base I is only one of my Home Lands, as readers have no doubt figured out, over the years. It is where those who believe in me the most happen to be, and I would say that this confidence in my skill sets comes from my having engaged in community activities here. My little family and others would feel the same, if I were to spend more time with them. For now, though, I am grateful for what time I do have in Home Bases II (Grapevine), III (North Shore), IV (Southeast Pennsylvania) and V( Makati). I know some of you will say “What about our area?” I appreciate all the love I get from friends, wherever I go.

What makes a place home, though, is not the mutual love and support that I get, as well as give. It is a deeper feeling, that is often hard to put into words. There is likely to be a time, in the not-too-distant future, when the Home Bases will get shifted around a bit. One scenario has me living closer to my son and daughter-in-law. Another has me in Metro Manila, or a place fairly close to it. Those situations will work themselves out, with Divine Energy in play, much as so many issues and problems have gotten resolved, especially since 2014.

For now, though, I need to give my trusty steed a wash, interior cleaning and routine maintenance, before week’s end. Tomorrow is my dearest’s birthday. I am glad to have been able to get gift and proper greetings sent. The Baha’i Spiritual Assembly and Red Cross need some time tomorrow, as well. So, too, does Bellemont, on Saturday, for a fire wise clean-up. There will be time to relax and ruminate on Sunday and Monday, being Memorial Day weekend.

The Road to Diamond, Day 171: Breathing Deeply

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Posted by on in Community, Entertainment, Family, Hiking and Nature, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 18, 2025, Grapevine, TX- Being a sultry day here, our family hike around Coppell’s Wagon Wheel Park was fairly short, but gave a good look at the copses of trees and tall grass prairie that define north Texas. Like any other ecosystem, this has its place in the overall realm of nature. So, we walked along various trails for about an hour. At one point, there was a sketch showing the wingspans of various area birds. The longest was the span of a great blue heron-7 feet. We each stretched our arms out and found 6 feet (Aram and me) and 5 feet (Yunhee).

Coppell Nature Center
Aram and Yunhee under a forest canopy.

The names of the trails are certainly fetching, and family-friendly. The park is also close to Home Base II, so my future visits here will feature walks in Coppell Nature Center, lying within Wagon Wheel.

Of course, no visit here is complete without a full complement of Korean cuisine. So, Yunhee prefaced this hike with a delicious lunch of Mandu-gook (Dumpling soup). Last night, we went to a fine eatery called Ham Ji Bak, in nearby Carrollton. Here is the scene, just before we started “tucking in”.

Jeonyok
Our dinner spread at Ham Ji Bak

This afternoon, we changed course and went to Old Town Lewisville, northeast of Grapevine, and enjoyed an hour or so at Perc Coffee House. It’s always good to get acquainted with spots that offer a relaxing vibe. Lewisville is a bit of a drive, but it’ll be worth further explorations. Besides coming from me, “a bit of a drive” must sound a bit hollow!

Tomorrow, I will head west again. Sportage is wanting another service, but I think she and I will make the rest of the way to Prescott and a Wednesday visit to the dealership will be soon enough. In any event, I will stick to main roads, the rest of the way. This has been another good visit.