Category Archives: impediments

Smoother Sailing

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

July 19, 2024, Victoria, BC- The distraught woman was yelling, at everyone and at no one, as I walked toward Bold Butchery and Grill in search of a falafel dinner. She was adamant that “he” had no business telling her to clean her room. The “room” was a small dome, that actually looked quite tidy. I saw no male around there, so who knows whether the “boss” was present, or was an unwanted memory of a past overlord. There are about twenty-five people living in tents along and adjacent to Quadra Street, down a bit from Turtle Hostel, where I am spending the night. There are about twenty-five of us in the hostel. Only four walls and the ability to pay for lodging really separate the two groups.

Joseph Campbell, in “Myths of Light”, describes the primal cakra of kundalini yoga as muladhara, the “root lotus”, the most basic urge to hold onto something which represents one’s identity. We see this in everyone, from a politician holding onto an office to a soldier fighting to the death, to someone living on the street and guarding personal space, along with the few possessions that are there within that zone. I tend to exercise reasonable precaution and care of my possessions, so that I have what I need, day to day. Obsession with them left, quite a few years back, as the realization set in that there was nothing that couldn’t be replaced-except my life. It has also been thirty-two years since I was homeless, and even then, my little family and I were not living in a tent, but in a motel-and that was only for a month or so. I wish smoother sailing for the folks in this little community, who do seem to take care of one another. There is even a “mayor”, who lives in an RV that is parked across the street from the ornate Conservatory of Music. He was making the rounds this evening, seeing who needs what basics, which he will try to find, when he goes to the Farmers Market tomorrow.

I will meet a Baha’i friend across town tomorrow morning, spending a bit of time along the waterfront, and praying for another friend, who is laid up a bit. That has been the nature of this journey-to connect with members of my Faith community who have felt a bit isolated, of late. So far, it has worked out, and if there are no Baha’is to visit, I have been able to connect with other old friends who I haven’t met in person.

I left the incomparable Bayside Motel, on Bellingham’s commercial strip, after getting Sportage its overdue maintenance check. All is well, and the lead mechanic remarked that the vehicle is in tiptop shape. Lord knows I pay attention to it. Bayside is a reasonably-priced establishment, that keeps up with the chains, when it comes to things like breakfast and a guest laundry room, as well as the sheer comfort of the sleeping room itself.

I got to the ferry terminal at Tsawassen, a bit early, and so had to drive around a bit, then return to the gate. The computer system resets on the hour, so a 1 p.m. check-in does not mean 12:55. Once in queue, there was plenty to do, in passing two hours-between lunch, writing to my resurfaced friend and organizing what I could of still-damp laundry, drying in the car. (Long story short, the dryers at Bayside were taken up by one family, and check-out happened before the clothes could be finished. At least they’re clean!)

The ferry ride was smooth, I napped for a while and it was easy to find Turtle Hostel. As indicated above, this is a somewhat artsy area. It also has several Mediterranean restaurants, which is good for my palate. Bold Butchery and Grill has several varieties of hummus to go with its excellent falafel. I chose the turmeric version. After dinner, it was easy to connect on a Zoom devotional, then segue into a section of Myths of Light that talks about the seven bodily cakras.

Smooth sailing depends on self-knowledge, so I am definitely interested in continuing to learn what Joseph Campbell had to say about the upper cakras.

Owning Up

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

July 18, 2024, Bellingham, WA- I went in the out door, so to speak, this morning. Parking with Sportage’s nose to the curb, in a “back-in” zone, I took two photographs of nearby buildings, got back in the car and carefully backed out, watching for any vehicles that might have come along-and which would have had the right of way. There were none, so on I went to Tacoma’s Old Town. I rarely, if ever, do such things, but have learned to not hide from judgment or ridicule, when they do happen.

Ownership of missteps is often absent, or only grudgingly done, in modern life. We fear judgment and ridicule, but you know they are going to come along, anyway. So, why fear, run or hide? I apologized to someone I love dearly, this evening, because it was the only thing to do, under the circumstances. Erich Segal was off-base, when he wrote “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” It is the first thing that someone who has heart must say, when a loved one is hurt. Apologizing to my late wife, to our son, to a beloved student or client, to a dear friend, has been de rigeur, when I go on a wrongful tangent.

Today, otherwise, was a fine day, partly spent in and around Tacoma’s Old Town and waterfront area, meeting with an old friend from Xanga, and her husband and patiently navigating the heavy traffic, from Federal Way to Mount Vernon. Seattle rivals any other major city, in the thickness and slowness of its major thoroughfares’ traffic. It is best to make do. Owning up also means pushing forward, without moaning about short-term circumstances.

Here are some scenes from Tacoma, an underrated gem of the Pacific Northwest.

Northern Pacific Office Building, City Center, Tacoma
Clock Tower, Old Tacoma City Hall
Job Carr’s Cabin, Old Town Tacoma

Job Carr was the first settler to make Tacoma his home, building this cabin in 1865. He got along quite well with the indigenous Puyallup community, and was well-known for navigating Commencement Bay, where he encountered whales and dolphins, whilst going back and forth to Puyallup, in his canoe.

Job came to the area because he thought the Burlington Northern Railroad would have its western terminus at the spot where he settled. When the BNR stopped two miles east of his cabin, he was rattled, but made do.

Burlington Northern railbed, near Commencement Bay
Commencement Bay, at Tacoma (above and below)

The afternoon found me back at another gem: The Muse, at the edge of Everett’s waterfront. I visited this lovely Victorian coffee house/bar, a year or so ago. This time, I was honoured to be joined by these fine folks:

Debra (“Ampbrea”) and Jeb Watts

I will not forget those friends from the 2000s and 2010s who stuck with me, even during the times when I “flaked out”.

Devotion

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 14, 2024, Carson City- There is much that one does for love, in this life, that would not otherwise be on one’s personal agenda. Parents and grandparents most often know this. So do caretakers of disabled spouses or elderly parents. Teachers and coaches also do, to some extent, though their personal agendas are wrapped within their callings.

This goes well beyond the obvious things, like bathing and dressing those who are unable to do so for themselves, or watching small children who are playing outside, or in a public space. It extends to those who “hold their noses and play yet another round” of a game one finds tiresome or even irritating. It becomes, at its level best, an exercise in detachment.

Thus did a friend spend time with a beloved child. I joined them, finding actually a mild amusement in the game, which is more than a bit whimsical. Such is childhood, on occasion, and rightly so. There is more than enough preparation for adulthood that faces today’s children, and at an earlier age-despite what pundits and commentators say about delayed adolescence. There is that too, of course, and the rub is that someone has to be the mature decision maker and social actor. When an adult-even a parent-is in the midst of delayed adolescence, sometimes the child(ren) have to step in. I have seen this in a great number of cases, over the years. Children, in such instances, are out on a limb, and do the best they can-but they don’t have all the tools necessary to hold things together.

Grandparents are in a very special position. There are jokes made about being able to send the kids home, at the end of a day, but there is no love quite like that of Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Papa, Nonna, Aba, Bump or Meemaw. It is, in its essence, a reflection of the deep love that is held for one’s adult children, that the thought of them not succeeding, of them suffering the injury or loss of their offspring is beyond the pale.

Being a grandparent in waiting, I understand this concept, and am glad to just be able to dote on those children and youths of other friends and relatives-until such time as my own grandkids arrive-and even then, devotion is unlimited.

Intolerance

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 13, 2024, Carson City- It is as despicable as it was predictable: The attempt on the life of former President Donald Trump, thankfully unsuccessful, will do nothing to stem the flow of anger and hatred towards those who see life differently than the would-be assassin and those who think like him-or their anger and hatred in kind, as voiced by a member of the United States Senate-and even more ominously, by a “political adviser” who cited a list of 350 targeted “opponents”.

People are still entitled to vote their conscience, even if the majority of us vote differently. People are still entitled to speak their peace, even if their ideas come across as ridiculous to a good many others. People can think far ahead, or look longingly to the past. People can accept differences, or peacefully need more time to process change, before either accepting the changes or choosing to stay in their own bubbles.

What no one should claim the right to do is to deprive another citizen of the right to voice an opinion, or even to exercise violence towards that citizen. Today’s events are a cautionary tale-both to those who might view the dead assailant as some sort of hero and to those whose interpretation of the contents of Project 25 is that the document is a green light for returning to the days of Jim Crow and public lynchings.

America is a big tent. Let it never be shrunk to a pup tent, or lean-to.

“You’ll Understand Some Day”

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

July 12, 2024, Beatty, NV- So did the attendant, at a convenience market in the small Mohave Desert town of Dolan Springs, explain a decision she had made to a much younger woman. Since I am inclined to wish long and happy lives to just about anyone I meet, I silently concurred. Mom always answered my chortles at one or another of her predicaments by singing “Your day will come“.

After a morning of home base activities, whilst waiting for the final word on a possible shelter, I prepared for Trip # 3, of 2024. Right at Noon, the shelter was deemed unnecessary, and by 1 p.m., I set out. Six hours later, after pit stops in Seligman, Dolan Springs, Las Vegas and Amargosa, I stopped here, so as to join a Baha’i Zoom call. It was plenty to drive here, in heat that ranged between 95-118 (35-47.77) degrees. My AC worked its magic and I was fine, so long as I kept pushing water down my gullet.

All along the drive, I contemplated the when of letting go- of power, of control, of position. This is not an issue for me, personally, but it seems much of the leadership of our governmental, financial and social institutions is unable to pass the baton. I have been ecstatic when a younger person shows up and is ready to take up the mantle of whatever mission I have had in front of me. I will always be willing to lend a hand, but being in charge is a bonus, not a craving.

Perhaps some of the younger ones will experience a strong urge to hold on, overstaying their welcome and even outliving their usefulness. Should that happen, I offer this, right here, right now. “May your time in the limelight impart lessons and knowledge that serve you well-and may those be of the sort that can be shared with the younger generations of YOUR seniorhood. May you remember these days, and know when to take the position of being ONE among many, of a number of generations who work together.”

I will spend much of the weekend with one of my favourite families, with 5 or 6 bright, engaging children, and their loving parent and grandparents. There is no overbearing or insecure adult there, at least not when it comes to the children’s upbringing.

Those who have tried are relegated to the periphery of the children’s lives. May they understand, some day.

Frenzy All Around

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 10, 2024- In the span of fifteen minutes, the skies opened up, thunder and lightning were all about, cars were coming out of every side street and driveway, and I got a phone call from someone who was at wit’s end about a conflict.

I pulled into the driveway at Home Base, with caller still needing my attention, as I juggled key, coffee cup and phone. Why didn’t I just hang up? Caller said no one else was willing to listen to him and several were avoiding his calls. Somehow, we were disconnected anyway and I was able to take care of more urgent business. I called him back and reached a point of closure, at least for the time being.

There are frequent spates of frenetic activity. Maybe it’s something in the air. Maybe, as my brother says about dreams, it’s the altitude-but that doesn’t explain frenzy, or fever dream, in places like Phoenix, New Orleans, or Bombay Beach, CA. I do think that it has to do with electricity in the atmosphere. We’re certainly not close enough to the full moon, at least not for another ten days.

The day didn’t start off in frenetic fashion, nor is it ending that way. The campers were in no hurry to leave, and so departed an hour later than their schedule said. I couldn’t blame them: 118 (47.8) in Phoenix makes 88 degrees (31.1) in Bellemont feel like the beach in Bermuda. Even after I left, so as to meet an appointment in Prescott, they were still at the truck stop, when I stopped to fuel up with gasoline.

We got a preliminary notice about a possible shelter being needed, tomorrow, in a town an hour west of here. I could help tomorrow night, and if it gets to be a major event, then the trip Northwest will be delayed. As I write this, though, the fire is being “monitored” and no shelter is being set up, yet. We will know more in the morning.

The day included a drowned yellow jacket, examining samples for which colour to use in an exterior paint job, getting the camp facility semi-closed, reconciling my chiropractic schedule with summer and fall travel, and assuaging the anxiety of the above-mentioned caller, a friend of ten years. Through it all, I did not personally feel frenzied. That’s progress.

Systematic

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 9, 2024, Bellemont- Staff-wise, I was a none-person show, yesterday evening, as camp entered its second night. The chaperones have their own way of doing things, and take the rules and regulations of the camp committee in stride. We both get to the same place, in terms of serving the campers. That, to me, affirms they are on the right path, even if it is different from the way I do things. Al-Bab, Who was executed 174 years ago, today, stressed the importance of working systematically and in unity, in the course of establishing a truly peaceful world.

This being a Baha’i Holy Day, my post is a mere two paragraphs. Suffice it to say, my parents raised us to approach anything we do in a thoughtful and systematic manner. It took me a bit longer than my siblings, but I have been in that frame of mind, for at least fifteen years. It is crucial to my well-being, and personal safety, moving forward. Expanding this ethic, every problem that families, communities, nations and the planet as a whole face requires a systematic and well-thought-out approach, in order to truly address the matters raised. It doesn’t mean that the same problem(s) won’t resurface again, down the road, but it will provide a roadmap for dealing with them now-and when they rear their human-nature-caused heads again.

One More Waltz to Paradise

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 3, 2024, Woburn, MA- So now, we are orphans. The powerful and beautiful matriarch has gone home to her Lord.

Yesterday, the young man was full of himself. Today, he was crestfallen and needed us all to help him deal with the loss of his beloved grandmother. So it was done. That is the nature of any set of random unpleasantries that take place between people who love one another, in their inmost hearts.

Mom lay in repose, and each of us had our time to say our last farewells. Mine was focused on just how powerfully she drew forth the best aspects of my character, and made of them the engine that has kept me going. We four siblings and, by extension, our children and grandchildren are each that much the better for her long and exemplary life. In the end, she looked as elegant and beautiful as she had at any time in her nearly ninety-six years.

Well over a hundred people filled the event room, at the funeral home-and about 3/4 of them continued on to the interment at cemetery, as well to as the funereal meal. The four of us mingled as best we could, with it being a rare opportunity to catch up with relatives and former neighbours we had not seen in decades. In that sense, Mom wove her last magic. Such occasions are in that sense magical, and reassuring.

Mom’s centering principle was that each of us do the very best we can, in any endeavour-big or small. Making the bed was as important as giving a speech. Washing the dishes properly deserved the same attention as delivering up a quality piece of homework. Her send-off reflected that: My sister’s attention to detail made everything click, as Mom would have wanted. My youngest niece created an exquisite audiovisual collage of Mom’s life, which circulated around the lounge at Polcari’s Restaurant, as we enjoyed light desserts after the ample buffet.

I offer two songs, in gratitude, “Until we meet again”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGWs1HK8iDU

Staying Wary

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 2, 2024, Woburn, MA- A family member who is not known for tact tried to put me on the sidelines, in the middle of a conversation. I didn’t back away, which rankled him just a bit, but he didn’t push the issue. We’ve had our differences, now and then, but given that he is half my age, I try not to take things too much to heart.

In the past, particularly in my New England years, there was always a small inner circle, in any group with which I was involved. I was never part of that circle, even if there were only three of us. The other two just had a very strong bond, that either pre-dated my time with them, or was established while we interacted.

Only recently have I even had the level of self-confidence to call out those who sought to keep things tightly controlled or at least keep me on the outside of things. My siblings, thankfully, don’t subscribe to such exclusivity. Most of those with whom I interact now are no more exclusionary towards me than they are towards anyone else. Still and all, I am very wary of anyone who draws a circle around self, and makes sure that “the other”, even one to whom s(he) is related, doesn’t step inside.

I used to ascribe exclusionary behaviour to “American culture”, or “elitism”. Anymore, I associate it with insecurity or misplaced anger. No one can be totally accepting of all those around them, in the course of this life, but it stands to reason that moving away from small enclosed circles is mark of spiritual growth.

Clean-up

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 1, 2024, Woburn, MA- Mom was meticulous, in her prime. While some of that fastidiousness faded, as she entered her tenth decade, we, her adult children kept the faith and would serve her needs, as much as she would let anyone serve. So it was, today.

The day had periods of rain and wind, which complicated the process-just a bit. There was also the energy of serendipity: Several things happening in a small space, at the same time. I got a little bit irritated, not at family members, but at random people with competing agendas. I got past that irritation, and somehow, we got furniture, keepsakes, clothing-to-be-donated and several bags of trash out of the room and to their respective destinations, in a matter of three or four hours.

Among the keepsakes are a rolled up photograph of your truly, protected in a scroll. This will be my “personal item” on the flight back to Phoenix. There is also a photo of my maternal grandfather, who I never met in the flesh, but who some say I resemble. That will take its place on the mantle in my living room. There are other photos and journals that enhance our family story.

This is the back side of bringing a long-lived and much-loved family member’s earthly story to a close. Mom chose her own final arrangements, with the strongest expectation that we would all stick together. It is my expectation, as well.

The room is now empty, but our hearts never will be.