Category Archives: impediments

Reiterations

2
Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

December 12, 2023- My horoscope for today says I will reveal my true colours. Truth be known, I’ve been doing that for some time. Historically, I am the world’s worst liar. So, even though I have said a lot of this before, “Double-Twelfth” is a good day for reiteration, to begin wrapping up the cosmic year that started with “Double-First”, a year of introspection and casting out remaining demons, for many. Ahead is a year of action, of putting thoughts into observable energy.

I have been active this year, certainly, and having mentioned those events and processes elsewhere, let me say that next year-the next two years, at least, will see even more of this. After some thought and comparison of costs and routes, yesterday, I am revising my route to an area that is on the itinerary for next Fall ( I will talk about the location on this platform, when it is prudent), to be prefaced by a two-week stop in the Philippines. Unless I hear from friends in Phil that this is not advisable or necessary, that is the plan.

My true colours just reflect love. What I feel for my angel in the spirit realm will never fade. Last week, I got a message from her, that my feelings for a woman now are perfectly acceptable before the Divine-and that I should treat that lady like a queen. It is true that love is the basis for all life-so the colour of love is my most basic hue.

I’ve been tripped up by grief and rebounding, especially for a few years after Penny’s passing. I’ve been hobbled by deep-seated attitudes and fears about myself, that have been brought to the surface and let flow out. Baha’u’llah wrote that love should not blindly lead to error. My thought is that such “love” is not the true kind. Now, in maturity, I see myself as a worthwhile human being-and get a lot of affirmation from those around me, in real time and online. Now, in maturity, I am no longer anxious or overbearing about expressing myself.

That brings up the matter of anxiety in general, and of the need for giving others room to work out their issues-and live their lives. My friends, especially my most beloved, deserve time and space to take care of their personal work. My son, and those I love as if they were my own children-and grandchildren, deserve the confidence and trust that I place in them, to show just how they will move forward. What I offer one and all is that confidence and trust. If you fall down, brush yourself off and go forward-keeping the lesson learned in mind. If you need a hug, it’s here. I will not, though, stand idly by and let you wallow. We are all better than that.

Ahead is a year of building-of a stronger Faith community, of reassurance for members of an extended family (and thus two stops in Carson City, next July) and of another extended family member further north (and thus a stop in Victoria, the same month), of fulfillment of promises both recent and of longer-standing, and of increasing my level of self-confidence-though not to the level of callousness or arrogance.

It’s time to go and tie up a couple of small loose ends-every day has a few such matters. All happiness on “Double Twelfth”, my friends.

What-version?

4
Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Entertainment, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social

December 10, 2023- The family onstage rocked the house, literally, led by the classical guitarist father (no patriarch, as he shared billing with his daughter and son-and heaped liberal praise on the newly-recruited drummer. Esteban is a widely- revered flamenco guitarist, who is also up to the challenge of rejuvenating rock classics, and doing justice to traditional Christmas songs, in equal measure. Having come to Prescott from Pittsburgh, via Tempe, long ago, he is always in his element, when playing to the hometown crowd.

Tonight was no exception. The Elks Theater is one of those places where people purchase tickets and go to their reserved seats. Then, any empty seat can be taken by anyone who is wandering about, a benign concession to mildly mentally ill people who just want a few hours peace, amongst others. One such person was in our section this evening, and with the performing family’s blessing, was quietly videotaping the concert. There is also a row of folding chairs, along the back wall, where people down on their luck were able to sit-for this concert-though not for every event, in general.

I sat by myself, a seat away from a family I’d never met before, but who later recognized me as one who had been in their confection shop, once or twice. That spurred thoughts about introversion, extroversion and ambiversion. My friend and I have talked about this; she figuring that each of us is a percentage of the first two categories-thus accounting for the third. I am more extroverted than I used to be, but as I said in a recent post, am the opposite, around certain groups, especially if I don’t know their members. I notice that others are halting in their speech and awkward communicators, in initial meetings-and that’s okay. I went over to the restaurant where a young lady, who I love like a daughter, works. After being warmly greeted by her, I enjoyed a light lunch and had a halting conversation with the two bartenders, as that was where I sat. We three seem to approach new people the same way, cautiously, but at the end of the meal, the lead bartender expressed hope that I’d be back.

Speaking of love, Esteban and family offered up a couple of Elvis Presley’s finest love songs, which resonated with me, because of the friend I mentioned at the top of the last paragraph. This is the second night in a row, that a musician has played such romantic tunes-and it may be happenstance, but I sure feel nice when it occurs.

Here is Esteban (nee’ Stephen Paul) playing La Paloma, which also reminds me of my friend.

The Blue-Leafed Vase

2
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Entertainment, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 9, 2023- “Now, it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the things you can’t get.”-Don Henley and Glenn Frey, “Desperado“.

Two ladies, looking like twins, focused their attention on the titular vessel, and the fresh-cut flowers within. The crystalline surface, and the shimmering blue leaves, take up a small space on the bar at Rafter 11, yet for those ten minutes, the vase dominated the room. A fine singer, named Duane, was belting out covers of songs from the ’50s (Fly Me to The Moon) to the 2000s (Nothing Compares 2 U), yet for that brief time, his efforts were background noise.

The ladies, who were sitting at the bar with my friend, Harry, said they had adopted the older gentleman-a fine thing, as he thrives on the friendships the rest of us regulars offer him at Rafter. Turns out, they themselves have been best friends for 35 years, which they said in response to my observing that they looked like twins. Proximity can rub similarity off on people- something Penny noted, years ago, when we started to ape one another’s habits and proclivities. These ladies were both bleach blondes and about the same height. They dressed just differently enough from one another to be distinctive, and there was enough difference in their facial features to hint at fraternal, rather than identical, twinship. As it happened, though, they were each from a different coast.

When they left, my attention went back to Duane’s music, especially as his vocals pretty much drowned out anything Harry was trying to convey. My older friend left, as he was feeling the day was spent. Duane sang several songs that brought thoughts of my new friend, far away, but ever in my heart and mind. Desperado was among them.

That raised the thoughts of gratitude-or its opposite. I am very much immersed in the former: I have been blessed, a thousand times or more, by all the friends who have come into my life, especially since 2011, and before that, by the woman who gave the best years of her life to me, and whose spirit still spurs me on. There are women and men fifty and older, who are like siblings. There are younger adults, from older teens to forty-somethings, who are like my beloved children. One and all, no one is going to hurt or impugn any of them, in my presence, without a swift rejoinder. A few women from the first group have expressed romantic love for me, and while I haven’t felt the same towards them, their well-being is of high importance.

I am grateful for all the fine things that have been laid upon my table-daily experiences, far and wide as well as local; vivid and exciting, as well as quiet and mundane. I am grateful for the challenges, which have led to refinement of some rough edges. I am grateful for the first that was laid upon my table-the deep love of supremely committed parents and the sibling love that has branched from that. I am grateful that the child we raised is a full-grown, clear-headed man, and happily-married. Now, I am grateful for the friendship of a lady far away, and all the encouragement I feel from the small coterie to which she belongs.

We’ll see where it leads.

Suspicion

4
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 7, 2023- The gentleman regarded me warily, and had several questions, as to my reason for being at a gathering of social justice activists, this evening. I later saw him talking with one of my friends, and pointing in my direction. This friend no doubt vouched for my sincerity and involvement in those organizations that seek to bring about harmony. I later came across a bumper sticker, that said “Love your enemies and you won’t have any.” It seems to me that those who claim to represent social justice ought to work at ridding themselves of judgementality. It helps to have an open heart.

Earlier today, I was with a group of students, who were grateful for my presence, and help in getting calmed down. The lead teacher, not all that welcoming, was at least tolerant of any assistance I could offer. There were few incidents of misbehaviour, and those that did occur were quickly resolved, and in a peaceful manner. The suspicious lead was at least thankful, at the end of the day.

It was mentioned a few times, this evening, that 2023 has been a stressful year. I can sense that, in any number of people, but I have to say that life, in general, can be stressful-in any given year. For social justice workers, this coming year will no doubt be full of stressful moments. The key to not walking about, looking over one’s shoulder, and seeing a bogey man in every closet, is self-confidence. I have had to work on that, mightily, in years past.

It helped, certainly, that I found a message from a dear friend on my laptop, this morning, but even on days when that doesn’t happen, I know to go forward and trust that the right thing is going to be, at least by day’s end.

GPS Goobers

4
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 4, 2023- Dutifully programming my Google Maps, for a friend’s medical appointment, I picked up friend and headed towards the designated locale. When we got to the spot, we found…….a gated community, a cul-de-sac and an overpass above a desert wash. A call to the provider earned us grace-and the names of cross streets,- 20 miles away, on the other side of the city. The algorithm interpreted the directional point in the street address, literally. It just got the wrong city. I double-checked my entry, to see if I had given the wrong information. No, the goober was AI.

We got to the proper location, after 30 minutes, and friend was seen by the gracious provider. All worked out well, and I got us back to Prescott, in time for me to help out at the soup kitchen. That was fortuitous, as they were short-staffed. It wasn’t that hard, though. I was the white rice guy and there was no need to wipe the tables afterward.

Goobers are a nuisance, though, and it would be a good idea if there were a feedback mechanism for Google Maps. This is not the first time that I’ve been steered wrong-and I know that others have gone through the same rigmarole. Of course, another option is to research the location from home. I did this before going to the Philippines, Newfoundland, Vancouver Island and Florida-after finding that I should have done so, before going to Paris and Brussels, nearly ten years ago. I will definitely do my homework, before next Fall’s international journey.

Crossed signals are not just limited to GPS and maps. Sometimes, in the past, I have gotten ahead of myself and not even been grounded in my feelings, before opening my mouth-or writing a message. Nowadays, checking my facts and emotional intelligence before speaking or writing, has generally made life a lot easier. In a few situations, this is tricky, but if I have to muddle through, that’s just how it has to be. I have a few friends who want to be given space, and they get it. When they are ready, I know they will reach out. Others are always happy to connect, and they bring me joy.

Gooberism can be avoided, with healthy self-checks, first thing in the morning, and periodically throughout the day.

Quiet Advent

2
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 3, 2023- This day sees the tumult of the Christmas season, and all the interplay between materialism and spirituality come to the fore. The plethora of appeals to share one’s real and imagined wealth has come and gone-or at least run out of dedicated days for one aspect of materialism or another. The liturgical aspect of the season, though, has begun for Catholics and other Christians, with this first Sunday of Advent. So, we may expect more caroling-hopeful voices adding to calls for peaceful resolution of the Israel-Hamas conflict, a move towards rebuilding Gaza and an end to displacement of people-anywhere, for the benefit of a chosen few. We may also expect resistance. What privileged class has ever gone quietly into that good night?

By the above, I note the Iranian clerics and their Revolutionary Guards, as well as the West Bank settlers. I note the raiders who attack the people of Darfur, the “monks” who still harass the Rohingya people of Myanmar and all those who amass fortunes, at the expense of the working people. Where is the evidence that any of you have been wronged by those you assail? Savaging the weak and helpless is no guarantee that you will achieve your goals in perpetuity. There is a place for you in the world, but only if you cease and desist your greed-based, power-hungry depredations.

It is a quiet Advent, as the survivors of the MIndanao earthquake and the Wrangell landslide assess their losses and mourn those who didn’t make it out of the wreckage. It is a cheery day for some elsewhere, including three friends who went to a Baha’i wedding in Manila. It is a calm day for me, with a nice breakfast at Post 6, a devotional online and three sets of leg lifts at Planet Fitness. The most important part, though, was reading nineteen pages of an interesting and hopeful letter from our Universal House of Justice. Upshot: We will make it through whatever is headed our way, provided we stick together and don’t let ego delude us.

No Time to Be Idle

4
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Slow Food Prescott, Social, Spiritual, Striving

December 2, 2023- It was disconcerting to get news of an earthquake, off the Philippine island of Mindanao, when I arrived back at HB, from a long day of service activities and visits with friends. There are one or two people for whom I care deeply, who are originally from Mindanao, the southernmost large island of the archipelago, and who now live in the Manila area. Hopefully, their family members, and everyone else, are safe.

I admit to a certain restlessness of spirit, mainly because as I look about me, there is so much that needs doing. At Farmers Market, this afternoon, two market administrators and the compost project worker, all friends of mine, were left to break down the apparati, at closing. I was able to free them of this, so they could do their primary tasks. I give thanks to the Creator, for continued strength-for as long as that strength lasts, and I can continue to be physically -as well as mentally,useful.

It was also a good day for visiting-one of my best friends, who has a market stall; the Slow Food-Prescott group, for part of a planning session, and sharing a box of Medjool dates that I had been given; and another friend, whose small restaurant, Rafter Eleven, has been one of the music venues I frequent on Friday or Saturday evenings.


Now I can wind down, and chalk the day up as successful.

Full, Complex, Human

4
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 30,2023- Ernest A. Love, a decorated Army pilot, who died in the line of duty, during the final months of World War I, is honoured in his hometown of Prescott with his name being given to our regional airport and to the local American Legion Post. He was further honoured tonight, on the occasion of his birthday-128, and counting. A squad of ROTC cadets from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University posted the colours, and the youngest of these, an 18-year-old woman, stood proudly, next to our oldest veteran Post member, who is nearly 88, and the youngest veteran Post member, a wet-behind-the-ears 48.

Each of these people has a compelling story, and each is a complex human being-just like everyone else. The difference is, each of them has done something with her/his life and has either a lifetime of giving back to the community, or is embarking on such a life. Not everyone else is so inclined, which is a shame, in a way. We all have gifts that can help bring light to the world, rather than the darkness that some see fit to cast into it.

I am truthful, in saying that I love so many in the world, even at different levels and displayed through different means. When that was not so apparent, it was largely because my self-love was lacking, and thus, I didn’t know how to communicate how I really felt. I have learned from several of those closest to me, how to grow my self-love, and therefore, how to more clearly honour the fullness and complexity of each person I meet. In turn, I can’t be all things to all people, and that may ruffle a few feathers.

May they learn to smooth those feathers and find a way to obtain what I can’t give them, whether it is a romantic relationship or taking a call at midnight. There are, conversely, things they cannot give to others. I am drawn to someone, far from here, and if she is drawn to me, then so much the better. If not, then I will honour her complexity, and full humanity, and carry on.

That, my friends, is how peace can happen, human to human-even when it’s hard to do.

Seventy-three

2
Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 28, 2023, Grapevine- So it has come to another re-set, another “trip around the Sun” completed. All that happened during the past year has only made me stronger, and no less committed to what a friend in Manila told me, during my visit there, and my most trusted family members reiterated today: My mission is to love those around me and help them live better lives.

There was another friend, I met in Manila, who would fit very nicely at my side, but I am not quite sure how well I would figure in her life. So, my path goes on, and as the cliche states-“If you love something (someone), let it (her) go. If it (she) returns, so much the better. If not, it (she) was never meant to be yours in the first place.” That’s happened a few other times, over the past twelve, and the ladies are still my friends.

Between now and November, 2024, there are six journeys, three short and three long. Next month, and again in January, take me to northern New Mexico. The first is customary-a Santa Fe and Taos-centered post-Christmas tradition, with a possible errand of mercy. The second will find me at Ghost Ranch, for a week of service.

February will take me to San Diego and, briefly, to Orange County-another emerging tradition. Ocean Beach, especially Samesun Hostel, is practically Home Base #3. I have to remind myself that I am NOT staff, and can be only just so much at home, particularly around some of the more officious staff people. Still, it’s a marvelous place to spend a day or two.

May, and the first week of June, will be my Back East time-with a return to Cape Breton Island and Newfoundland. It will also be post-Covid catch-up time, with a few friends in Indiana, as well as family visits to Maine, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania.

Mid-July to the first week of August will see two visits to Carson City, as bookends to another Vancouver Island trip, and long-delayed visits to BC’s Sunshine Coast-and Four Worlds International Institute.

That brings me to Journey # 6, which will find me in a part of the world I’ve not been in before. Details will come, as the time for the visit gets closer. It will take in the latter part of September, until November 1. Suffice it to say that I have promised friends in that area, that I will visit them, for several years-and intend to make good on this, God willing.

Here in Arizona, there will surely be many opportunities for continued service-and visits to southern Arizona, in late January and to both the South Rim and Jacob Lake (weather-permitting) in mid-March. Early July, after the Fourth, will be time on Hopi, just before I head up to Carson City.

Of course, next Thanksgiving, which coincides with my birthday, will be right here in Home Base #2. It will be another milestone, well worth celebrating.

Actual Vacation, Day 8

4
Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Education, Family, Historical, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

November 27. 2023, Grapevine- The dream was all too vivid, and all-too ridiculous: I was at a seminar for teachers, wearing white chinos, of all things, and spilled salsa from the provided breakfast burrito. I went to clean my pants, and for some reason, grabbed a push broom to carry with me (never did figure that part out). Walking to find a restroom, I happened by an African English-language academy, and an old-style trattoria, where there were many people gathered, and as I wandered aimlessly back and forth, looking for a restroom, a teenaged girl told me my meandering was getting tiresome. A staffer came out of a back room and started randomly filling recessed open concrete hollows, with rose petals. I began to think the girl was right and I was being a tiresome distraction. Then, I woke up and realized that none of this was happening, nor did it have to.

My reality was that of a slightly chilly, but sun-filled day. I spent the day on a small service project, to be continued on free moments Wednesday, to hopefully generate a just conclusion to a long-standing matter, for a Filipino family. Otherwise, it was a quiet day of relaxation, with Aram focusing on his remaining school projects and Yunhee back at work.

The final three months of my being 72 were no less fulfilling than the other nine. I began September with a drive across southern Colorado, then three days at Eastern Colorado Baha’i Summer School,which as last year was largely a family affair-and I was a bit more included this time. Once the school had adjourned, I made my way east, as detailed in earlier posts. Mom’s 95th birthday, and the arrival of grandniece Adeline Bryan, were the milestone events. Paying respects to a fallen police officer, in Minnesota, and a beloved cousin, in Pennsylvania, were also high points.

October saw my first visit to the Philippines, via San Diego, San Francisco and T’aipei. Getting to meet a sponsored teen, and helping him get a wardrobe item he very much needed, was a wondrous start to this visit. Being guided and watched over by three fellow Baha’is, whilst in Manila, was a magnificent follow-up. Respects were paid to two of the great figures of Filipino history: Dr. Jose Rizal, regarded as the country’s national hero, and Lapulapu- who ranks similar to Cochise or Black Elk, in terms of standing up for the rights of First Nations people. I made more friends for the rest of my life, which is the main purpose of going anywhere.

November has seen a productive month at Home Base, and a salubrious week at HB2. Red Cross work was intense, but compressed into one 12-hour day. School assignments were uniformly pleasant. The flu came and went-courtesy of a crowded reception area at LAX. I had one of the finest meals of my life, at 1845 Taste of Texas.

Adi’s birth was a happy milestone. Transitions in the other direction saw the departures of an old high school friend and a cousin-in-law. Steve Finnegan and Caleb Jayne were both humble tradesmen, but neither man was anybody’s fool. Both will be long-missed. Jimmy Buffett, Terry Kirkman, David McCallum and Suzanne Somers all entertained us and engaged our social awareness, as the best of their caliber do. Rosalynn Carter and Ady Barkan raised the bar for true public service.

Now comes another early morning commemoration of the Ascension of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, and with it my re-set, to the age of 73-as of 1:30 p.m. EST, officially. It has been lovely, being 72.