Sharing

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October 14, 2022- Once upon a time, three of us went trick-or-treating.

We were never out of each other’s sight,

stayed clear of any house whose lights were off,

and had no worries about bullies trying to raid our stashes.

When we got home, all three stashes were dumped on the dining room table.

Mom and Dad went through the pile, with fine toothed combs,

looking for signs of tampering.

They never found any, but I am grateful to this day that they did this.

I was raised to share, to not hoard.

“This is myyyyiin!” seldom, if ever, came out of my mouth.

If it did, the soap bar was at the ready.

Grown, a long time ago, I still share-my time, my energy

and, to the extent that is prudent, my money and my thoughts.

I try not to overshare. Friends and family have enough going on.

Being a burden to anyone is not my style.

The Coffee Pot and The Teacup Trail

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October 13, 2022- The two of us sat on a fairly comfortable rock bench, gazing at a rather bland, but still comforting, sunset. My hiking buddy, Akuura, and I both have an affinity for Sedona, as well as for Prescott. So, we headed out in mid-afternoon, for the express purpose of a hike which would take in the sunset.

The trail scheme we chose started with Teacup Trail, which heads to this spot, more widely known as Coffee Pot Rock.

Coffee Pot Rock (right), in Sugarloaf complex, Sedona
Coffee Pot Rock, close-up

Much of our hike was spent on Sugarloaf Loop, a fairly flat, circuitous route, that goes between the summit of Sugarloaf Mountain and the rock formations that include Coffee Pot. We walked close to, but not up, the short summit trail. HB is still working up to more vigourous trails. Then the route took us back around, towards Coffee Pot, before we looped up to the stone benches that gave us the views of sunset.

One of the delights of any part of the Southwest is that colours seem to change, as the sun gets lower towards the horizon. Here are two views of Chimney Rock, west of Thunder Mountain and Sugarloaf.

Chimney Rock, Sedona, at 4:15 p.m.
Chimney Rock, Sedona, at 5:11 p.m.

Here is the sunset, which bid us farewell, from our perch on the west slope of Sugarloaf.

Sunset, from Sugarloaf Mountain, Sedona

The beauty of the area is evident, and another beautiful aspect is that hiking in the Southwest is like opening Chinese boxes or Matryoshka dolls, there is always another trail, at the end of the one you are walking. There is much to explore, in the months ahead.

Economy Kick

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October 12, 2022- When we were kids, there would occasionally be times when Mom would announce to us that the family was on an economy kick. That was about the extent of our involvement in family finances, but we knew that costs were outweighing income, and not to ask for anything extra. We got three meals a day, without fail, the house was comfortable and well-kept, and the clothes were always clean. Not much else really mattered, even to me, in the throes of autism, of which I knew nothing.

I had to manage a household, myself, during Penny’s decline, and through being frugal, managed to keep 3-6 people fed and comfortably housed, even while working through Chapter 7 and the uncertainties of the housing crisis, combined with medical costs. The economy kick came, almost with its physical counterpart- when an Arizona state employee came to the house and demanded I turn over Penny’s care, and her benefits checks, to the state. It didn’t happen.

Every so often since, frugality has been my answer to the forces of greed and deprivation, when they stage assaults on our well-being. I know that the financial markets, being global entities, are not cash cows, so when they get raided, I know to tighten the belt. This is what I am doing now, though it may not look like it when I head up to see friends in Nevada and Idaho, in a few days. The thing is, I don’t cancel plans to visit people, just because the powers that be are trying to take us all down a notch.

I do keep my spending to a dull roar, and am quite happy even sitting in the apartment, watching shows and reading. A foray or two to Planet Fitness, or to the neighbourhood park, works nicely, as does a walk downtown. In time, these ebbs will return to being flows, as they always do. Someday, too, the controllers of the purse will realize that prosperity for the masses of people does not mean they themselves must go without. It is not a zero sum game. In the meantime, I will continue use my funds wisely, as ever.

What If..?

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October 9, 2022-

What if there was a holiday, and everyone stayed in bed?

What if the day off had no theme, or everyone just made their own?

What if every gift you had in mind for loved ones just sat, and accumulated, because they were too busy to see you?

What if, on the other hand, there were commitments you made, months ago, and people come to you anyway, with urgent requests that necessitate schedule changes-and broken promises?

I have had these situations crop up, and have had to gently point out that each day needs some organization, some effort at accomplishing at least the daily necessities. It occurs to me that every day, whether workday or holiday, brings interaction with others, and that courtesy and self-responsibility, never take days off. It also comes to mind that people who insert themselves into other peoples’ lives are either not thinking matters through, and are either being coyly disruptive, or at least passive-aggressive.

I am much better, in my own space, at not wanting center stage in someone else’s play, and in, conversely, gently guiding people away from making random requests that are solely designed to get my attention-when I am already in a committed activity.

Random Thoughts, As The Seasons Change

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October 7, 2022- Some new friends, at an Oktoberfest dinner I attended this evening, told of a young lady who was their cashier, at a small store and who had said she was working two jobs, because she wanted to get things for herself and that was the only way she could do it. They were “amazed”, that such youngsters still existed. My thought: Welcome to the majority of people, young and old, alike! The noisy, entitled class are not that common, they’re just loud.

I have things that I want to do, over the next several years. So, I’m still working, to a reasonable extent. Honest work remains the best way to assure that one can cover the cost of what is wanted, or needed.

I watched an online memorial service for a man who was a friend to thousands of people, around the world, myself included. His wife and children remembered him, in a good way, which goes to show that a loving soul can and does put family first-and expands his soul family, through continuous acts of love. He was laid to rest in the midst of his beloved Black Hills. Rest in power, Tokaya Inajin. You were a fine friend and mentor.

My little family is now in the last two weeks of an extended training exercise, which when completed will leave them in a more secure position. Son will also have made solid progress in his academic work, and have 3 or 4 semesters left, after this. I have every bit of confidence that he will emerge in a place of strength.

It seems some politicians are all over the place, in their public remarks, of late. That, to me, indicates a loss of control, a sense of powerlessness. I’ve had times in my life, when that’s happened. They were not pleasant experiences, and I am grateful to my spirit guides that these are things of the past; that I can respond to challenges, both from random other people and from the course of events, in a more stable way. Another friend, this morning, called that maturity. I agree wholeheartedly.

Food for thought: Behind every extremist act, or pronouncement, lies a fear that has overtaken the mind, as well as a person who should have offered consistent care and guidance, but did not. There but for the grace of the Divine, and for the consistency of my parents, go I.

In The Presence of Excellence

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October 6, 2022- The little guy was too put off by a work page that was way too crowded and busy for a person with his special needs, so he got under his desk. A classmate said that was where B went, when he got rattled or scared.

The lead teacher has known these students for six weeks, and directed the child and his paraprofessional to a much easier page. Fortunately, the children have alphabet charts and number lines, to back them up, when working on such pages.

The class has the benefit of being led by the above-mentioned teacher, who has a unique blend of intellectual skills, flexible mindset and a keen sense of when to show gentleness or firmness. He has four paraprofessionals working with him: One who has been in the class for over twenty years. One, who recently came on board, has strong native intelligence, as to devising activities that challenge the students at a very basic level, along with an entertaining mode of delivery, after years in the sales profession. The other two are gentle, personable and confident.

All in all, the atmosphere has evolved into one of excellence, appealing to the students’ own sense of self-worth, which is not always a given, in a special needs class. This, in turn, leads to the students wanting to do things on their own and refusing any situation that would contribute to a sense of helplessness. I can think of two kids who sorely needed that change of situation. The teacher will not cater to them, when they do lapse into a mindset of helplessness, though he does not push them beyond their emotional state. The bar remains high, and when they have returned to recovery mode, he gets them to finish their tasks.

It was a fine thing to see a classroom of this magnitude, having been in others where the student/teacher ratio is too high, the structural and expectation levels low and/or at least one staff member is disgruntled, either with the children or with co-workers.

Wading Past Misgivings

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October 5, 2022- The crew, the past two days, has been as welcoming and pleasant as at any other school where I have worked, these past eleven years-with on exception. The palpable anger on the face of one of the team members has not faded.

There was some idle speculation that perhaps I was “shadowing” the team lead, who is leaving the school in a few days. I assured those who broached that idea that I was not going to take on that role. My available work days remain four, per week, and besides, I will be out of state for 1 1/2 weeks, immediately following Fall Break. So, reticent team member need not look at me as the potential “new boss”, if that’s the issue.

There was a time when I would become overly solicitous towards the indifferent or hostile member of a group. Invariably, the unwanted attention would end with the opposite of what I had intended. I have learned to leave such people alone, other than approaching them when the dictates of the job required, and then only in a strictly professional basis. In this instance, I have no idea if or when I will be called to go back to that particular class, or even to that school. It is a nice school and the children are well-mannered, so I would gladly return, if called.

In such a case, the prudent thing would be to maintain a professional stance, and wade through the swamp of misgivings. Once someone knows my heart, things generally become more pleasant between us. If not, then I am no longer the sort who frets and bends over backwards to ingratiate.

The Vagaries of Choice

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October 4, 2022- I once happened by a small corral, occupied by two full-grown horses. Someone who was nearby said that while the animals were well-fed, they were never let out of the corral. He wondered how they were still able to move around. We both wondered how the animals were experiencing life.

I thought about that today, when someone replied to my comment on a post by a nationally-known columnist. She took a different view from mine, but thanked me for correcting an earlier comment she had made, which left her looking ignorant. I feel that is the least one can do for another; not because I am above her in intellectual stature, but because no one should sacrifice dignity for lack of information. It does not matter so much how someone views life, as how they express that viewpoint.

I thought of her objections to the practices of a certain religion. I then thought of my own struggles with certain aspects of spirituality. The struggles that each of us have, because of free will, invariably pit our search for quality of life in this physical plane against our sense of what lies afterward. So many, including the person mentioned above, seem to equate this life with the afterlife. I certainly used to.

Time has brought lessons that have made me see way beyond the comeliness of a woman, the seemingly charmed lives of some friends and neighbours, the gregariousness of a person who appears to be wildly popular. Any one of those people could tell stories of loss and despair, some of which would exceed any troubles I myself have known. While I was sitting and waiting for my meal, this evening, a very pretty young lady told of recently going through exactly the same situation I experienced in September, 2021: Being 50% at fault for a car wreck. We make some choices that benefit us, and others that put us through the wringer. This life spares no one.

So, what is the point of free will? I would say, in my limited understanding, that it is a series of opportunities for each of us to hone our spiritual attributes-Love, patience, courtesy, honesty, forbearance, generosity, trustworthiness, and many others. I would say it is a series of opportunities to prepare for a far more intense life of the spirit, once the body is left behind.

I can choose for no one else, save the incapacitated and the very young. No one else can choose for me.

At What Cost?

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October 3, 2022- The obviously disgruntled man, having finished his meal, offered his solution to what he viewed as the incompetence of those working in social institutions- in essence, ‘Put them out of their misery’. Of course, he was watching, with a puckish grin, to see if I showed any sign of being shocked. I was not, and did not.

The extreme “solutions” being put forth by certain elements on the fringes of society are given more cachet, by many people who know better, than they will ever deserve. The result, if their impulses are transmuted into action, will be a severe disruption of society-and will make January 6, 2021 seem like a walk in the park. It will also not end in the way they think.

The man in question is not in a position to bring havoc to bear on many people. He is homeless and disabled, and no doubt, those factors contribute to his animus towards people in positions of authority, in business as well as in government. We, on the Monday evening feeding crew, work to at least provide a measure of solace to those who have known nothing but grief, from a good many who are in decision-making situations. Anger, especially among those who are fairly well-educated, but who have been dealt a poor hand, does not spring out of nowhere. The man quoted above knows his Bible, chapter and verse. He also has watched many videos on the Gaia Network, and has made some connections between the two.

Misdirected or misapplied knowledge, from any direction, can bring about changes in society. Yet will the changes result in the betterment of society, or end up costing us all far more than even the perpetrators of those changes bargained.

“The betterment of the world can be accomplished through pure and holy deeds and through commendable and seemly conduct.”-Baha’u’llah

Fourth Quarter Musings

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October 2, 2022- The ten-year-old girl was apologetic, as she corrected me about a certain procedure, at an event where I was volunteering, this afternoon. I assured her that the advice was welcome, and well-taken. The correction made all the difference, and obviated any embarrassment that would have ensued, had I not been reminded of the proper procedure.

My relationships with people, regardless of age, gender, or any other physical or social consideration, have matured, evolved-to the point where the only thing that matters, at all, is character. This is especially true since 2015, which was about the time that I left recovery mode, four years after Penny’s passing. Even vicious people whom I encountered were able to provide insights that could be incorporated into my personal growth. They were, on balance, not people of good character, so they are no longer in my life. The lessons, though, remain.

As we enter the fourth quarter of this year that has brought sea changes to many aspects of our lives, I find myself closing the door on things I find bogus: The almost whimsical political e-mails, which change with the wind, and whose intent is solely to wring money out of the fearful; the “controversy” over an African-American woman playing James Madison’s crystal flute-with dignity and respect, I might add; in fact, ANY claim that people should mind their place. I treat children with the respect that is their birthright. I treat elders with the respect that their long lives have earned, as well as being their birthright. I treat everyone in between, with the same respect. It is nice that I am able to bring genuine smiles to people’s faces, as a result of that respect.

My goals for the next three months are fairly straightforward. I will work a bit, this week, and over parts of November and December. I will help the Red Cross and local service groups, when I can. Visits with friends in Nevada and Idaho will take up a couple of weeks, later this month, followed by two days celebrating the Birthdays of al-Bab and Baha’u’llah, the dates of which are a day apart. November will see a visit to Monument Valley and with some friends in southeast Utah. Thanksgiving, as has been the case for the past two years, will be spent with my little family, in Grapevine. It is there that I will turn 72. December will see a three-day visit to southern California, just before Christmas and to Taos and Santa Fe, just after. Christmas itself will be here at Home Base.

Everything that is worth while is based on love. So on we go.