The Arcade and Glorietta

8

October 18, 2024, Manila- The message came, at 7:35 a.m. Essentially, ‘these are my plans for today. Can you meet me at the nearby mall, at 12 or later?’ I could, and would, meet her on the other side of Manila, if that’s what she needed. For that matter, I’d meet her on the other side of the planet. I was at Cash and Carry Mall early.

Dating a lady here sometimes doesn’t seem like dating-because it’s not conventional. K and I spent a lovely day wandering through a rabbit warren of a crafts and housewares arcade. It is chock full of Christmas items, none of which interested her much. We were there to find an unbreakable, or at least a durable, flower vase and some long bamboo branches. My love had all the time and the back and forth that she needed. I was only there to stand beside her and carry the heavy vase. That, and just remind myself how lucky I am to have this time with an angel of a woman.

Once we arrived at her condominium building and unloaded the purchases at the guard post, for her son to carry to her place, it was on to the next mission-which took us to Glorietta Mall, on the south side of Makati. Kathy took care of a personal matter and I bought a pair of quality flip flops, for my visit to Dumaguete, Negros, early next week. Then we walked a bit to the Food Court, and settled on Cafe Dulcinea-eating the churros and chocolate first! Tapas and other treats followed the “dessert first” course.

My present visit here is getting short, and all too soon, it’ll be time to take stock of where we are, in our friendship. Everything I’ve wanted to do here, up to this point, has been done. When I get back from Dumaguete, I will get a better sense of what this visit means, going forward. I will say, though, that I am the luckiest man in the world, for having been able to get to know her better.

Apples and Oranges

4

October 17, 2024, Manila- As I consider the whys and wherefores of a move to the Philippines, vs. staying put in the U.S., I sometimes get asked whether my friend is a surrogate for my late wife. This is a rather boorish question, but the people posing it are doing so in good faith-even if their reasoning is off.

Penny was Penny. I will love her forever, and that love will never be transferred to another person. Kathy is Kathy. I will love her forever, and that love is not derived from the feelings I had towards my late wife. The two women share a heritage-both were (are) German, by matrilineal descent. Both are fervent Baha’is- one in the spiritual realm; the other still serving our Lord in this realm, on a daily basis. Both exhibit high intelligence and curiosity. Both were(are) physically comely. Therein, the similarities run out. Penny was tall, musically-inclined and had a peppery personality. Kathy is short, a financial whiz and even-tempered. Neither could possibly be a surrogate for the other.

Penny was fond of saying: “An apple is an apple; it’s NOT an orange”, in response to anyone’s lame attempt at false equivalence. I do not place one love above the other. In the next life, I anticipate that we will all be part of a greater team of spirits, serving God in whatever way He deems fit. (There is, in Baha’i Teachings, no provision for free will, in the spirit realm.)

Thereby, I hold that my attraction to both women was (is) primarily due to their spirituality, which in turn, infuses each of their personalities-and contributes to their outward radiance. This is all I can say on the matter. Love is love.

A Growing Circle

2

October 16, 2024, Manila- I stood at the entrance to Heritage Memorial Garden, after a service for a long-standing member of the Philippine Baha’i community, waiting as directed, for someone who would arrange a ride for me to return to the Regional Baha’i Center. It wasn’t hot, and the breeze was actually quite pleasant.

A vehicle stopped, and out came Kathy and her two sons. K told me that we would all ride together, in a GRAB taxi (the Philippine version of Uber). I assured her that I would pay for the group. We had a pleasant ride back to mid-town Makati, with minimal small talk, as none of us was much for yakking, after the lengthy funeral, in which Kathy and I each had speaking parts. She was also one of the main organizers of the event, having been close to the woman who passed on. I had not met the woman, but am impressed with her vitae. So, I read a message from our Universal House of Justice and a short prayer.

When it came time to pay the driver, K’s eldest son revealed that he already had covered it. This is no big deal to the members of my growing family. The young man had just met me, yet was perfectly glad to make sure of my well-being. Considering who his mother is, I ought not be surprised. It has not taken long for her to be one of the brightest lights in my sky.

A short while earlier, I had been introduced to K’s siblings, who took me to the gate of the Memorial Park, about a kilometer from the burial site. Two brothers and a sister, two pensive men of few words and a chatty lady, they are each nonetheless of pleasant mien. Thus, in a brief period, I came to be introduced to the family members of one of the most important people to enter my life, in the past ten years.

Maybe it had to do with the energy of the person who was being honoured. Martha Taylor was always bringing people together, herself being of Persian descent, married to an African-American and living in five Asian nations and the U.S. Territory of Guam, over the past fifty years. There was scant anonymity left, after any gathering she hosted-and she had friends in the highest and lowest places alike. I would have liked to have met her; yet in Kathy, I feel like I’ve met her mirror image.

At any rate, I have rarely experienced the expansion of my circle, in such a meaningful way and in such short order. I will take every other affirmation that comes, in the next 1 1/2 weeks, in every Facebook chat that she and I have during the next six months and in all that transpires here on out. My circle is not only growing; it’s getting deeper and stronger.

Walking In Sync

0

October 15, 2024, Manila- Planning for the replacement of the defunct refrigerator in the Regional Baha’i Center of south Luzon, I sat in the Center’s common area, composing a message to the caretaker, who was out and about. I would take measurements of the empty box and walk over to the store where appliances are sold. There, I would look at the items on offer, with a specific style and model in mind. It will meet the needs of the kitchen staff, and not take up any more space than the old one. That would take up my day.

When my friend showed up, unexpectedly, I had an extra person’s perspective on which to draw, and she was more than glad to have me go along on her mission, which involved going in the same general direction. Doing anything with K means the world to me, so off we went, stopping at a catering restaurant and figuring out the menu for an event, tomorrow, that she is in charge of planning. We went over the menu, jotted down items that seemed appropriate, and decided on a good mix of foods.

Crossing the street, the next order of business was looking at 3-5 refrigerator models. We have tentatively settled on one, which will be recommended to the committee for final selection. That matter will be finalized tomorrow or Thursday.

Next up was an activity familiar to many-grocery shopping. We carefully looked at several items and price-checked, using the store’s in-aisle scanner. Kathy knows how to find the best deals, and so it happened, today. The items will also be used for tomorrow’s event.

We went back to the Center, and after some time spent socializing with a visitor from another part of Luzon, four of us set to work, putting plates in plastic holders and wrapping them in thin bags. I told K, last week, that I was happy doing even the most mundane of activities with her-and so she took me up on it today. We spent the afternoon walking in sync.

This is what makes the world go around.

Preparation, and Repair

0

October 14, 2024, Manila- We got word this morning that a longtime Baha’i resident of Metro Manila, who came from Iran, had passed away after a long illness. When something like this happens, plans change, of course, and a”all hands are on deck”. Being on the periphery of preparations for the funeral and memorial, two days from now, my immediate concern was to get a proper shirt and tie, and leather shoes, for the occasion. (I would have done that, anyway, in preparation for an event being planned for this week. That event is postponed until after the honouring of the deceased. ) I will help out, at the ground level, on Wednesday.

The other thing that happened, over the weekend, was that a major kitchen appliance went kaput. We looked at the matter from all angles, and while it may be repairable, the item does not, in other ways, any longer meet the needs of the community. A comparable appliance, different in capacity, will be purchased to take its place.

This is a most intense year of changes happening “on a dime”. There will, no doubt, be others-some of which can be deduced by an educated guess and the rest coming upon us with minimal notice. My time in the Philippines, this go-round, is down to two weeks. Then comes the Presidential election, and for me, on the ground, drives to Carson City, northern New Mexico, southern Arizona and either a flight or road trip to Grapevine.

Then comes 2025, the year of fruition, of tying up loose ends, and of “one door closing and another one opening”. What that means for your truly will somewhat depend on the next 2 1/2 months, as who knows what loose ends will still be dangling. There will, however, be no shortage of preparation, and repair.

With Each Breath…..

4

October 13, 2024, Manila- The little man and his Transformer figures “adopted’ me, while his father and Kathy figured out how to get connected to the Internet, for a memorial presentation. It took a few weeks, but A feels secure with me, and with the rest of the group, even to the point of keeping quiet during prayers and much of the discussion. He’s five, so there are limits, and that’s okay.

Today being Sunday, we gathered at the Center for devotions, so the Memorial for a long-time member of the Makati Baha’i Community, who passed away whilst serving in another country, was a most proper and worthy focus. Several of the friends knew the man, who was of Persian descent and a tireless contributor to community life, both spiritually and financially.

I can see, with each breath I take here, why he felt so connected, so in love with the community. The Filipino spirit, in and of itself, is loving and affirming. Combined with the Baha’i ethic of concern for the well-being of every individual, it has the raw materials of a stellar national community. Walking to a pharmacy, to purchase a needed re-stock of a supplement, yesterday afternoon, I was greeted as “Joe”, “Dad” and “George Washington”. Security guards are everywhere, but there is no surliness or menace about them, just keeping those who might want to cause trouble on notice.

After we paid our respects, a fine feast was enjoyed by all. My contribution was again filleted chicken thigh, this time with Bradford Curry, instead of dinakdakan. The curry proved more popular than the Ilocano pork offal-based sauce. I find them both delectable, but the locals like curry better. Then again, chicken thighs and breasts are a natural host for delicious sauces of all kinds. Everyone contributed something-A even put his sugar snacks on the table.

We all had enough energy, after the full repast, to cover two more sections of a Baha’i study on Huquq’u’llah and for the group to plan its activities for November, which include three straight days of events: A spiritual Feast, followed by celebrations of the births of al-Bab and Baha’u’llah (These are November 1 (the Feast) and 2-3 (the Holy Days). They will do just fine in the planning and carrying-out of the celebrations. I shared some links to programs they might include-which made everyone happy.

While I can’t stay beyond the 27th, a return next May, for a longer stay at least, is looking more likely.

A Cluster of Parks, Part I

2

October 12, 2024, Manila- On days when K is busy, which are most days lately, I have determined routes for walking and found that Manila has a wealth of green spaces to check out, particularly in the area to the south and east of the Pasig River. Rizal Park, which memorializes the death of Dr. Jose A. Rizal, National Hero of the Philippines, and adjacent Luneta Park, occupy the eastern third of this greenway. This magnificent park was the second area, after Intramuros, that the ladies showed me, last year.

There are five smaller parks and gardens between Rizal/Luneta and the river. Yesterday, en route to a shopping run at SM City-Manila, I checked out Heroes Park. This small, but impressive, gem is also called Bonifacio Memorial. Andres Bonifacio is considered by many to have been the first President of the Philippine people, being a key leader of the movement towards a free Republic of the Tagalogs, in the mid-1890s. He was executed by the Spaniards, in 1897, and is viewed as a national hero by many, alongside his contemporary, Jose A. Rizal.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9s_Bonifacio

Bonifacio Memorial at Heroes Park, Manila (above and below)
Just so we’re clear, KKK refers to Kataastaasan Kagalanggalang na Katipunan, which is Tagalog for “Most Honourable Assembly”.

Near Heroes Park is the Clock Tower, which I captured only through the tree-tops. More on that edifice, later this coming week.

View of Manila Clock Tower, north of Heroes Park.

It is Kathy’s stated intention to get to more of the historical sites of the capital region, while I’m here. She’s doing the work of the Divine, though, so I am going to take up the slack and catalog as many sites as I can, on my own. It will make for a more interesting discourse, when we do get to visit the sites together.

My other mission was to replenish a few items and pick up some “breathable” cotton shirts, at SM City-Manila, not too far from Heroes Park. After walking past Arroceros Forest Park, a bit to the west of Bonifacio, I went about my shopping mission and enjoyed some Inasal Chicken, a breast barbecued in lime, pepper, vinegar and annatto/asuete ( derived from the seed of the achiote tree, as a natural food colouring). This style was developed in the area of Bacolod (Ba-KOO-lud), Negros. A couple of new polo shirts, some toiletries and a SIM card, w/ new adapter, for my camera accompanied me back to Ola! Hostel.

What started as a day of dark energy was turned around. Pondering the struggles of freedom fighters will do that. So will being grateful for having a certain person in my life.

Love, to the Moon and Back

6

October 11, 2024, Manila- “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours.If not, it was never meant to be.” I’ve paid lip service to this, especially since Penny left for a better level. I have never felt she has been far away-and I have even felt that, when I fell for someone last year, this new love had Penny’s blessing.

I have no way of knowing in what direction my current friendship is going to head. Someone dear to me said, before I left for the Philippines this time, “You could love her to the moon and back, but if the feeling is not reciprocal, it can’t be faked.” I would be willing to make the life change and move here, but if it’s not a welcome move, it’s hardly a wise one. I have safe haven at Home Base I, and no one there who sees me through apprehensive eyes.

So, I will do what is prudent, in the time I have left here. I will visit Baha’i friends in another part of the country and pay further homage to those who died in World War II Another friend said, “No one needs to get married a second time”, and she is right. I know that I love my friend here, as deeply as I loved my wife. That is a rarity, and will not change. Still, there are twists and turns that she needs to navigate-and my presence would, for the time being, only be in the way. I have left the ball strictly in her court; she knows where she stands with me.

I am well, emotionally, with the caveat: “I am learning this, too: ‘We must not only be patient with others, infinitely patient!, but also with our own poor selves, remembering that even the Prophets of God sometimes got tired and cried out in despair!’ (Shoghi Effendi) And while I am deeply sure that ‘the Prophets of God’ had far more to despair about than I do or will, this quote gives me hope that I am not wallowing in my grief, but learning the lessons it will teach me.” (Borrowed, in gratitude, from a recently departed member of my spiritual family).

NOTE: Shoghi Effendi, the eldest surviving grandson of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, served as Guardian of the Baha’i Faith from ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s death, (1921), until his own passing (1957). He provided a wealth of translation, explanation and elucidation of the Writings of al-Bab, Baha’u’llah and ‘Abdu’l-Baha, as well as offering timeless insights into the growth and development of the Faith.

Camia Garlands and A Filipino Banquet

6

October 10, 2024, Manila- The little entrepreneur was down to his last few hand-strung garlands of sweet-smelling camia blossoms. As we sat in a group and discussed various aspects of life in Manila and the urban U.S., one of our group members purchased the rest of the garlands. One was given to each of the women in our group, and I kept one for K, in case she was able to join us later.

Koi The’ Bubble Tea Shop, One Ayala Mall, Makati

Our host, Nelson (seated to my right, with ball cap), then brought us to MESA, a Filipino restaurant, where we enjoyed a full range of regional and national culinary treats: Pork belly (Binaggongan baboy), baked scallops in shell, suahe (large shrimp, barbecued in shell), sisig (fried rice with minced pork), various chicken dishes and a flounder-like baked fish, along with various side dishes whose names I did not quite catch.

It was a fitting celebration of both Nelson’s return here (he lives in the U.S. ) and that of a revered Baha’i elder, who lives primarily in the U.K. The rest of us were honoured just to be along for the gathering.

Part of me would not mind relocating here. There is more of the universal way of thinking, a collective mindset, to which I long ago became hard-wired. It will depend on how things go in a certain friendship, so we’ll see. Nevertheless, I have bonds here, for the rest of my life-much like in Home Base I, and in a number of other places across North America, in South Korea and in Europe. I can’t ever look at life through a dark glass again.

Nampo Garcia- A Street Kid Story

6

October 9, 2024, Manila- (Any connection between the characters in this tale and real people is purely coincidental.)

I felt the blade at my back,as I retrieved the cash from the ATM. “Now, you will give me the due that you refused, back at the Light Rail station!”, snarled a voice at the other end of the knife. “Will I, now?”, I responded, in my best fake Irish brogue. I looked at the wad of bills, then glanced over at the small pair of hands to my right, cupped and ready.

I tossed the folded bills to a chuckling, triumphant street boy. The hapless beggar took off after Nampo, dropping his knife and momentarily forgetting about me. The boy, little more than 3’8” and 50 pounds soaking wet, ran around the floral planter that graced the front of my hostel, all the while holding the cash, in a teasing manner, as the half-addled thief continued to pursue him, like a cat chasing its own tail.

Nampo knew the drill. He ran up to the hostel’s security guard and stood still, until I came up the steps. His meal depended on not running afoul of Steven Morales, who had often graciously provided the boy, and his little sister, with one of the hostel restaurant’s signature burgers or at least one of its ample rice bowls. Tonight, though, as Steven handcuffed the foolish beggar, I took Nampo inside the cafe, and for once, the Chinese owner did not wince and start fussing in Mandarin, about “a mouse being in the house”. Nampo had a full meal and was allowed to take an order to go, for his sister, who was waiting at their makeshift cardboard and plywood hut, off Dominga Street.

“Uncle Rama”, Nampo queried, as we ate, “do you have a friend like me, back in Bengaluru?” “Actually, I have several such friends, Nampo”, I responded. “You see, not so long ago, I too was sleeping under rattan and cardboard, frequently crying myself to sleep and keeping one eye open. The street bandits back in India are not so easy to elude, as the drugged up fiends here in Manila.”

“Not all the thieves here are drugged up”, answered Nampo, “in fact, the only reason I can leave Shakira alone is because we have Auntie Jinja looking after us. Her son, Raul, is also here, visiting his mother and taking her to see a doctor, for her diabetes. Raul said that if he needs to take his mother back to his house in Sucot, we will go with them-and he will make sure we go to school every day.”

I felt relieved at this news and as I walked Nampo back to his encampment, thought of how lucky this resourceful little boy was, to have found Jinja, and by extension, Raul, in the first place. Then again, it was Nampo’s heart energy, taking care of little Shakira, and his pluckiness at cultivating a security guard and a tourist as his friends, that most appealed to my own heart. As it happened, Raul had gone to the hardware, on P. Ocampo, and purchased a few folding chairs. His mother was sitting in one, and he, in another. The dutiful son beckoned me to sit for a while. “Would you care for a cup of iced tea?” “That would be heavenly”, I replied, taking the last empty chair, as Nampo sat down on a bean bag seat, which Raul had also purchased. Shakira was asleep on a small cot, covered with a clean sheet, again provided by the dutiful son.

This night would pass safely for the makeshift family, and soon the four of them would head past the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, through Paranaque to the seaside community of Sucot. I would be heading home to Karnataka, in a few days, and thought that I would make more of an effort to help the urchins in my home city, in honour of Nampo and Shakira.

(The street children of Manila are definitely winsome and engaging. It is their sheer number that prevents meaningful individual assistance, but there are a number of organizations, such as Children International, which I use as a vehicle to help two families, and Save the Children, that can provide assistance to destitute children and their families. Nampo and Shakira are fictional characters, but there are people who fit their description all over the streets of Metro Manila-and other Philippine cities.)