Leaving Korea Centenary of Baha’u’llah’s Ascension
Santa Monica and Oxnard Weekend drives to Flagstaff
First residence in Prescott Keams Canyon
Jeddito School Louhelen Baha’i School
Hopi ceremonies on weekends Bosch Baha’i School
Cross-country family road trips New Year’s Eve, 1997, in Edwardsville, IL
Chilchinbeto Santa Barbara
Murder, She Wrote Salome, AZ
Penny’s first injury
Northern Arizona University A townhouse in Flagstaff Penny
Nieces and nephews
The Baha’i Faith Tuba City Humphreys Peak
Wedding in San Diego Julian, CA Pilgrimage to Israel
London and Canterbury Standoff, Alberta
The Wildfire Conference, Greencastle, IN Guyana Macy, Nebraska
Glenn and Barbie
Pine Ridge Lakota Nation Losing my Dad
Cheju
The Korean Baha’i Community
Visiting Professor of Conversational English
Fatherhood
Taiwan
The Polar Route Cementing a marriage
One of the biggest personal challenges for me, in 2013, was figuring out just what relationships mean to me. It wasn’t as much a matter of “being in a relationship”, as determining the nature of relationships, in general. So, I am at the point where I am thinking about the various ties I have with people.
Some think about “Who is my soul mate?” A person may go his/her entire earthly life without really feeling the presence of a soul mate. Another person may deny to self that there is any such thing. I feel there is, and I feel her presence daily, though she’s been gone from this physical plane for nearly three years. I know others, including some of my best friends, who are still waiting to meet theirs, or perhaps to reconcile with one from whom they are estranged.
This brings me to friends. There are several people with whom I feel a strong spiritual bond. There are some, among this group, with whom I am almost “joined at the hip”, psychically. A few people who have known me since childhood look at my friendships and figure that “Since _______ is a woman, you need to be careful.” That ASSumption is missing the point, though I appreciate their concern. To me, friends are those who can rely on me, in a pinch, and vice versa. We have each others’ best interests at heart, and even if we have not met, physically, we know there are few barriers between us.
I am closer to my family, both nuclear and extended, now than at any time I can remember. Extended family keeps getting bigger, and includes my birth family’s in-laws, Penny’s family and their in-laws, all the people I have met in my travels and many in the Baha’i community whom I have yet to meet. So, we’re talking a family of 10,000- plus. Family is the most beautiful of institutions. It can be the most messy of institutions, but anyone who has raised toddlers and teenagers knows that messes are part of life’s beauty. Anyone who has seen an elder, or a disabled person, through their final years knows that messes are inevitable, and character-building. Anyone who has anxiously watched a child morph into an adult power house knows that all the twists and turns, pushes and pulls are well worth the journey.
As 2013 moves from dusk to dark, I am in a good place. I have no one who “desperately needs” me, and I’m not sure such desperation would be a good thing for either of us, anyway. I feel love coming from many, and feel love towards them, as well. Lust is not in the picture, and that’s a good thing. Romance? That happens when it happens, and I am just glad to have people with whom I can relax, and be myself. Besides, a little bit of me goes a very long way.
A wise man recently wrote that the best people in our lives ‘come like stray dogs, move evanescently through our lives, and disappear without a trace.’ I have had some do that, and will have more, I’m certain. Regardless, each and all have been a pleasure, and I look forward to more such pleasure.
Vietnam Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Sydney, Australia marijuana
North Shore Community College Quebec Winter Carnival Marshall’s and Sears
Hitchhiking
dating and clubbing
UMass-Amherst Crane’s Beach security detail Quisisana Resort
Etna-Dixmont School Villa Oasis School the Grand Canyon Disneyland
Chicago at Christmas time Guaymas and Puerto Penasco siblings’ weddings
I had as fine a Christmas as my friend-hostess could offer, in the midst of her illness and discomfort. Five of us enjoyed a brunch of souffle, tamales, pear-cinnamon cider, petite Danish pastries and various snack items and dips. Gifts were exchanged, and I will burn my Bayberry Candles for as many days as they will hold up- and get more when they run out. Bayberry is a legendary prosperity talisman. More important is my set of CD’s for “The 11 Forgotten Laws”, of Bounty. I was glad to have been there today.
I’ve attended many celebrations, both public and private, large and small, joyous and sketchy, over these past 63 years. People have typically done the best they can for their loved ones and other guests. My parents always gave us a lovely Christmas, even in the lean years. I can’t recall any substandard extended family gathering, from weddings to birthdays to holiday get-togethers, ever. We never have made it about the gifts. A good celebration is always about the people.
Time was, that our celebrations were New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, maybe Mardi Gras (called Fat Tuesday, in Phoenix), St. Patrick’s Day,Easter, the Fourth of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Modern life has added to the fray: Super Bowl Sunday, Lunar New Year, the Final Four, Cinco de Mayo, and Hanukkah (on a wider scale than when I was a child). Even our solemn national days (Martin Luther King Day, Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day) have become widely celebratory in tone.
What hurts celebrations, in the long run, is an overemphasis on purchasing. A holiday is then more about contributing to the economy, meeting another’s superficial needs through gifting or even obeying one’s parents ( “Janie, YOU GET ON SANTA’S LAP, NOW!!”).
Celebrations, ideally, are about love, honour, respect and healing. Christ brought an ethos of love to the world- so His special days, Christmas and Easter, ought to be the least stressful days of the year. I am not here to judge anyone, but reflect- How was your Christmas? Mine was lovely- not problem-free, mind you, but the things that did arise were handled with the dignity and well-being of all concerned, from youngest to oldest, being most important. Each of us can bring about happiness for ourselves and for those we say we love.
If your Christmas celebrations are ongoing, keep the fun happening. In any party, please look about, spread the joy and make sure no one feels uncomfortable or left out, to the extent possible.
This is the second in my word portraits:
Brother Glenn
Losing Grama
Brother Brian
Saugus Junior High School
The death of Marilyn Monroe
Boy Scouts
British pop music
The school arsonist of 1963
Motown
My handwritten newsletter
Delivering newspapers
The deaths of John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy
The Blackout of 1965
Saugus High School
Girls
Star Market
Fireplace Ten
Mount Chocorua
Martha’s Vineyard, 1966
Salem Willows
Pleasure Island
UMass at Boston
Basic Training, Fort Jackson
Apollo I
Myrtle Beach
Fort Benjamin Harrison
Fort Myer, VA
The scourge of alcohol
Autism
I spent this past weekend attending three day sessions, and one evening, of Grand Canyon Baha’i Conference, which has been held every December since 1984, in Phoenix. This is the first year I have not stayed in the city, opting instead to drive back and forth from my home in Prescott, 1 1/4 hours away. I had a tamale order coming on Saturday. and Sunday night, I just felt it financially prudent to not spend money on lodging.
The theme of the Conference this year was “Arise To Serve Humanity”. When I think of it, this is what I prefer to be doing most of the time, anyway. As an eldest child, it was expected of me, from the day my sister was born and that ethic has served me rather well, by making my life path very certain.
I spent Saturday listening to the actor Rainn Wilson and Justin Baldoni present their thoughts on how we may serve as mentors to the rising generations of youth, both younger Millennials and those born since 2000, whom I regard as “Generation AA”- a tribute to their focused energy. Like youth from time immemorial, our current children and teens are very much focused on genuineness. A few examples were given, in the presentations, of those adults whose “walk” is at clear variance with their “talk”. I’ve never been able to successfully do other than what I say, or vice versa, so, being a very bad liar, I feel most comfortable with like-behaved people, whether young, old, or in-between. Being with kids is thus, natural for yours truly.
Sunday, Ms. Leila Milani spoke of developing a culture of service. It is largely dependent on being not associated with the accumulation of anything- goods, money or reputation- at the expense of others. She also spoke of the three Stations in the world of existence- God, the Manifestations of God (Who can speak with the Voice of the Creator, as Christ did, and as Baha’u’llah did) and the Station of Servitude- exemplified, perfectly, by John the Baptist, and by ‘Abdu’l-Baha and, to a lesser but still significant degree by many throughout history- Saint Francis of Assisi, Florence Nightingale, Mohandas Gandhi, Albert Schweitzer, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, et al.) Several modes of service were mentioned: Spiritual teaching, learning useful skills, education of children, financial support of worthy causes, hospitality, founding a loving home, serving one’s parents and working in development projects.
Roberto Nathaf then offered the intriguing notion that, as physical Man seeks to travel to distant stars, perhaps even by circumventing the speed of light, so spiritual Man ought seek to develop the Light of the Spirit to the nth degree. By serving others, one becomes truly regal.
On Monday morning, Dr. Jim Reed, a Christian educator, offered the notion that, by undergoing difficulties, one may use these tests to inform and assist others. It is interesting that the case of a breast cancer survivor, Kristen Magner, who has taken to inspiring others through post-cancer involvement in interpretive dance. Sandra Paredes, a mother who lost her son in an accident, three years ago, has spent this holiday season giving gifts to children in hospital. Dr. Reed spoke of the Human Library, comprised of those who have suffered, a major force that brings people forward in their individual and collective lives. He said “Suffering and trial are not punishment. They are preparation for a life of service.” Indeed, they are.
Now, what are we to make of the continuing occurrences of destruction- both natural and human-caused? With Mr. Saeed Khadivian, an educator from Los Angeles,I offer this notion: There are two forces at work- today and throughout history- Destruction of old systems and Construction of a new system. In this day, however, the Kingdom of God on Earth, promised by Christ, in the Lord’s Prayer, is what is stirring, what is slowly and almost imperceptibly, being brought into being. It is this Promised Day that is the true Fruit of all the acts of service that are occurring. This fact is lost in all the attention being paid to acts of destruction, catastrophes, personality aberrations and political rancor.
A friend asked me, a few days ago, why everyone knows about the words of Christ, and many know of Buddha, Joseph Smith and Mohammed, but not much is heard of Baha’u’llah. I felt ashamed at that. The first thing everyone, regardless of faith or creed, should know about Him is that His name, in Arabic, means “The Glory of God”. From there, a person may learn as much about Baha’u’llah, and His Teachings, as he or she cares to learn. The other thing I wish to share here, though, is this: Beginning with the 1844-50 Ministry of Baha’u’llah’s Herald, al Bab (Who is to Baha’u’llah as John the Baptist was to Christ), the groundwork for the Kingdom of God on Earth is being laid. Baha’u’llah, during His Ministry (1863-1892), revealed over 100 volumes of Scriptural Guidance. His eldest son, and designated Successor, ‘Abdu’l-Baha and His great-grandson, Shoghi Effendi, expounded and further clarified Baha’u’llah’s Teachings, until their own passings, 1921 and 1957, respectively. Baha’i literature is available for study at http://reference.bahai.org/en/.
I was asked today, in an online exchange, what I thought the difference was between loving, as opposed to “feeling bad” about someone’s pain. I cannot feign love, so feeling good about someone’s success or good fortune is as natural as feeling badly about his/her misfortunes. Love is, in the true sense, both the basis for, and the outcome of, faith. In fact, love is pretty old, in the scheme of things, as Baha’u’llah, speaking with the Voice of God tells us: O SON OF MAN! Veiled in My immemorial being and in the ancient eternity of My essence, I knew My love for thee; therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image and revealed to thee My beauty.
I wish all a joyous and very Merry Christmas and a happy, prosperous 2014.
I want to try a word portrait, for each of my decades, prior to 2010- and for each year since. Let’s see how this works.
November 28 Gooch Street Blessed Sacrament Church Central Street Grama’s
Kickball Girls Charlie & Flo’s
Miss Nugent Sister Cheryl
The Waldrons Books Nana & Grampy
The Connallys the hairbrush
Eddie & Allan Records Adams Avenue
Father McGrath The Harlem Nutcracker
Miss Lavin & the bell Conrad’s Farm
The rodeo
Blueberry Hill ( the promontory and the song)
Brother David Tom and Yvonne’s candy dish
This morning, I was invited to list the ten books which have stayed with me, in some manner. It was rather easy, and I found that, in actuality, there are twenty-five works that have affected me the most, not counting the great religious tomes.
These twenty-five are:
1. A Path With Heart- Jack Kornfield
2. Les Miserables- Victor Hugo
3. Oliver Twist- Charles Dickens
4. To Kill A Mockingbird- Harper Lee
5. Cry The Beloved Country- Alan Paton
6. The 3rd Alternative- Stephen R. Covey
7. Johnny Got His Gun- Dalton Trumbo
8. The Five Love Languages- Gary Chapman
9. The Autobiography of Malcolm X
10. Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee- Dee Brown
11. The Road Less Traveled- M. Scott Peck
12. Don Quixote- Miguel de Cervantes
13. Darkness at Noon- Arthur Koestler
14. The Bell Jar- Sylvia Plath
15. One Flew over The Cuckoo’s Nest- Ken Kesey
16. The Stand- Stephen King
17. The Book of Job as a Greek Tragedy- H. M. Kallen
18. A Christmas Carol- Charles Dickens
19. The Wind In The Willows- Kenneth Grahame
20. Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned In Kindergarten- Robert Fulghum
21. Lord of the Flies- William Golding
22. I, Robot- Isaac Asimov
23. Life of Christ- Fulton J. Sheen
24. One Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich- Alexander Solzhenitsyn
25. Rabbit Run- John Updike
We, in the modern era, have not had very many instantly-recognizable, world-class heroes walking among us. Some thought of John F. Kennedy that way, but he wasn’t around all that long. Nelson Mandela, though, was such a one as Gandhi, or “Abdu’l-Baha, ever walking the path of love and service. His life was suitably long, 95 years, though a few more, had he been up to it, would have suited me just fine.
In the darkest days of his imprisonment, of the worst apartheid that the neo-Nazis among the Afrikaners and British-South Africans, alike, could muster, Madiba saw the future. He knew that tribalism would still cause problems among the Black majority, that there would be corruption, some of it within his own ANC, after apartheid was gone. Yet he knew that the first and most important thing was for all to be free: The Whites, Asians and Coloureds had to have the same rights as the Zulus, Xhosas and other tribes of the majority populace. This led him to work with DeKlerk, with the Zulu chiefs-even with his harshest critic, Treuernicht. There was no community left outside his vision.
Nelson transcended so much, in 95 years. His personal life was largely that of a well-educated, cultured African traditionalist, that of a patriarch- though a benevolent one. His life of service, though, reflected a vision that transcends centuries. His South Africa remains a work in progress, and the principals of the dismantling of apartheid are now all gone. It is up to seemingly lesser people to carry the vision forward. Madiba would probably say, though, that there will be future Nelson Mandelas, that the people of the next several centuries will each have their heroes, their larger-than-life figures. I am sure that’s so, and it will be among his greatest legacies, as his life was part of Gandhi’s legacy, and Gandhi’s was part of ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s legacy, and so on, back as far as we can look.
A good friend said, earlier today, that each human being should be able to strive for the greatest heights he or she are capable of achieving. I believe that, as well. No matter where one lives, in this world, or in the Universe, Nelson Mandela, like all the great heroes and heroines, has shown us how we may make our marks. May he enjoy limitless blessings in the World of the Spirit.
Relationship Insights & Advice
food, nature, photography, art, travel
Exploring the spidery corners of a culture and the weird stuff that tourist brochures ignore.
I love to write about everything. Writing relaxes me.
Arist Writer Creator
Kings Consultants LLC
An Independent Nondiscriminatory Platform With No Religious, Political, Financial, or Social Affiliations - FOUNDED 2014
Open Your Mind
A blog about BPD and art
Homepage Engaging the World, Hearing the World and speaking for the World.
Astrologer ~ Mystic ~ Writer
Poetry BLOG By Edge of Humanity Magazine
Healthy Body healthy Mind
Language Learning My Way
A Sagittarian Seeker 