August 26, 2024- A clumsy man tipped over a full rubbish barrel and lots of stuff came tumbling out. He uttered a mild oath, then stepped aside, and watched as several volunteers cleaned up the spilled items. Appeals from a church elder, for him to pitch in and help, were spaced out and he went outside. Such is dealing with the mentally ill.

I was raised to clean up after myself; most people, I suspect, were, as well. That some will be unable to comprehend that simple social grace is a feature of a society in which “bubbles” are celebrated and “you do you” is seen by many as a virtuous mindset. Avoidance of responsibility is seen as a necessity, a means to guarantee survival “to fight another day”.

Today marked the third anniversary of the explosion at Abbey Gate, at Kabul Airport, resulting in the deaths of thirteen U.S. service people. There was a wreath laying, at Arlington National Cemetery and there was a taking of ownership for the tragedy-two acknowledgements of the pain inflicted on thirteen families, by two radically divergent public figures.

I have a history of assuming responsibility for the messes I’ve either made, or appear to have made-lapses of taking responsibility in my teen years, and in the 2000s, aside. Nobody’s perfect. In the long run, I have had to account for those lapses, too-just as any public servant has to do what the sitting Vice President did today, eventually.

In a world of dodgers, one who does take responsibility for gaffes and tragedies is going to be excoriated, often by the same people who themselves bend into pretzel shapes, in avoiding flack for their misdeeds. It doesn’t make the error in judgement any less severe, but it does detract from the healing process, for those directly hurt and for the public at large.

Healing requires taking responsibility, letting out of pain and reconciliation. It doesn’t allow for hiding and dodging. My earnest respect goes to those who died at Abbey Gate.