Tag Archives: corporal punishment

The Road to Diamond, Day 203: The Whip

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Posted by on in children, collaborating, Community, Historical, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 19, 2025- There is no good outcome for oppression. This is the larger message of Juneteenth, which commemorates the day in 1865, when the enslaved of Texas learned of their Emancipation, two years after it was granted.

In the second episode of Season 5, of the series “The Chosen”, the scene of Jesus the Christ upending the Passover Market, from outrage at the presence of commerce on the grounds of the Temple shows Him using a whip, along with knocking over tables and tearing apart animals’ cages.

This is well-known New Testament account, seemingly at variance with Christ’s message of love. He would go on, in what was left of His ministry, to explain to the people about His actions, in the context of His greater message. Some would understand; most would not-initially.

Historically, those who use violence, when punishing children or in enforcing the law, point to the actions of various Old Testament figures, or to Christ vs. the money changers, or to Mohammad’s defensive actions against those who were attacking Him, as justification for their own behaviour. None of us, however, are Messengers of God. We don’t have any business falling back on Scripture to justify our own actions-usually directed towards those who are more vulnerable-or malleable.

Children need to be directed, guided, and corrected, but never made to lose heart. More and more parents are living as nonviolent exemplars. As for enforcing the law, this can be and is done every day, in a firm but nonviolent manner, by the vast majority of peace officers in this country, and in many others. There is never an excuse for the beating of civilians, just as there is never an excuse for throwing chunks of concrete, fireworks or fistfuls of rocks down on police officers, or anyone else. There is, likewise, no excuse for acts of hate against those who differ from oneself.

There is no good outcome for oppression.

Camp Notes, Day 6

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Hiking and Nature, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 12, 2024, Bellemont- Heat came to call today; “only”87 F, but for any sort of outside activity, the Arizona (and, increasingly, global) sunshine merits caution and respect. Nonetheless, a group of young people worked hard, this afternoon, on renovating a sorely neglected Prayer Circle.

A separate matter, regarding the education of young adults, has arisen. Even the most loving and dedicated of educators, including, for a time in the late 1970s into the ’90s, yours truly, have bought into the myth that “tough love” is what young people need most. Corporal punishment was once a part of that, though I myself never stooped to that level. Cooler heads, in U.S., Canadian and European schools have prevailed-and gradually, educators in developing nations are seeing the folly of sanctioned bullying. Our issues are more a matter of the manner of speech directed at one’s charges. I have effectively used humour and insight education, in getting co-operation from the kids, this week. The program director is likewise pursuing gentle persuasion, in enforcing the rules. The other tutors, some educated in harsher programs themselves, are taking note, and modifying their own approach.

This generation is more proactive and more worldly, than we and our succeeding two generations were, as teens. The impulsive behaviour surfaces, every so often, but the youth are more amenable to subtle hints and succinct requests than many of us were.

On Agency

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

August 3, 2023- The former President of the United States faced a Federal Magistrate today, for the second time in a month. He heard the charges against him, pleaded Not Guilty and thanked the Magistrate, before being released in his own recognizance. He maintains innocence, until proven guilty. He maintains agency, regardless.

The topic of agency arose, this evening, during a study session on the matter of public discourse. While the discussion ended up a bit off the rails, largely due to my being a bit tired, after a long day, and thus, not moderating matters as well as I might have, the agency of both those who were carried away in dialogue and those who felt left out, were addressed by the end of the session. Ground rules were established, going forward.

Ironically, the whole kerfuffle came about when the subject of the agency held by children was brought up-by yours truly. That led to discussion about gratuitous spanking of toddlers, and the umbrage taken by some people of our, and our parents’, generations when objections to such “punishment” are raised. Those who got carried away are of the opinion,as am I, that striking people just perpetuates violence. The others in the group, themselves hardly people who believe in corporal punishment, felt “point taken, now let’s move on.”

I have evolved in my thinking on the matters of both agency for children and of corporal punishment. I once believed in the pecking order, that children should serve adults. That went out the window, when I caught some adults using that notion of “service” as a pretext for abusive behaviour.

I have never given our son anything less than respect for who he is, nor have I, save one or two unfortunate lapses of judgement, as a teacher and counselor, seen fit to belittle a child’s soul. My own experience of corporal punishment, as a child, was sparing. Mom and Dad regarded it as tool, to be used judiciously. I followed suit as a parent, until it became obvious to me that there is a conflict between using force as a parent and communicating responsible behaviour to one’s child.

My overall sense, for the longest time now, is that each person, regardless of age, has personal agency. The child needs guidance and reinforcement. The elder needs reassurance of continued relevance. All of us in-between, likewise, need consistent respect, regardless of our positions on matters being discussed or positions in a community.

What, Exactly, Is Kindness?

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Striving

November 26, 2019-

Many years ago, I was present in a colleague’s classroom, when a distraught boy kicked and slammed a chair.  This was in the days when corporal punishment was still the norm, so it happened that my co-worker grabbed the boy’s arm and shook him, very hard. She told those of us who witnessed this, that he would remember this moment and be unlikely to repeat such a destructive behaviour.

I had my doubts about that, then, and still am doubtful.  The teacher has since passed on and the boy is now a 50-year-old man.  I have not seen him since I left the community where this took place.  He’s still up there, in that rural community, and I wonder if he remembers that incident.  I wonder how it affected his world view, and more directly, how it affected his raising of his own children.

I chose to physically punish my own child, prior to his adolescence, on a relatively few occasions.  None of those occasions saw me lose my self-control, yet I have often thought since, that there had to be better ways to correct his behaviour, than presenting myself as somehow more powerful, more dominant.

There was a song, in the late 1970’s, entitled “Cruel to Be Kind”.  While the songwriter included the phrase, “in the right measure”, I found myself disagreeing with the sentiment.  Nonetheless, there are occasions when, in order to save one’s own sanity and overall usefulness as a human being, it’s necessary to deny another person’s request.  None of us are perfect, after all, and there are times when a soul is unreasonable, in her/his expectations of others.  I dealt with such a person, four years ago; with another, last year and with yet a third, over the past weekend.  In each case, I was taking on a situation which would have been best handled by a team of people.  In the first instance, I was able to assemble such a group and the man lived his last years among us, in a fairly comfortable environment.  The other two- I was, and am, unable to help very much, as an individual.  Sometime, the issues are just too complex.

That said, there was also a time, six years ago, when I was the problematic one.  The person on whom I was fixated, handled the whole thing masterfully.  We reached a very quiet understanding,  and I made a promise that I have kept and will uphold for all eternity.  That person’s kindness has been a model for me, ever since.

Kindness, then, can assume many forms, though I daresay cruelty, in its true state, is never one of those forms.