November 20, 2024- “The core of a child’s education starts with the mother.” Upon my uttering that statement, a chorus of naysayers erupted with their buts, howevers and whatabouts. Methinks they missed the word core. A father does indeed have to stand alongside a mother, and augment the child’s learning. Grandparents and other adult relatives are the second layer of learning reinforcement. Teachers and neighbours, the “village” that it takes to raise a child, are the tertiary layer, and on outward it goes. No, friends, the entire village cannot be on top of the child, all at once.

Several of us were gathered in a comfortable Southwestern-style home, to ponder the question, “What does a unified community look like?” Much of the time was spent in putting forth, and sifting through, various and sundry individual points of view and reflections on life experiences that emanate from life in an often harsh and imperfect world.

Unity starts with respect for, and from, the individual. It proceeds outward, only when one has self-respect and when genuine respect for others emanates from oneself. That respect has to be a two-way street. A political conservative, even a reactionary, cannot advance real unity, without having respect for liberals and progressives. The converse is equally true.

Unity continues with each one having what my father called the courage of your convictions. True courage involves recognizing that what I think and feel does not have to be what anyone else thinks and feels-and the converse is also true. I can be equally at home talking with the members of my American Legion Post, or with conservative Christian friends, as I am among Progressive groups or those committed to social justice. Their opinions are not their souls.

Unity necessitates that the group be able to separate fact from fancy. It also goes back to respect: No adult has the right to live their life through their child, or even through their spouse. We live for our loved ones, and with them. Arriving at a point of unity means talking with the significant other, with the offspring, ascertaining everyone’s wants, needs, dreams and seeing what is most important for the group, and for each of its members. Penny’s mantra was “Consultation is finding out.” I can think of no better way to put it.

Do you think that submitting to the dictates of a strongman will solve the problems of the community, or of the nation? How does that affect the future of your children-both in the immediate and in the far future? Do they not have a say in the matter?

Want to invest in bitcoin? How will that impact your family or group of friends? Should you not discuss this fully with your near circle?

Wish you had a son, instead of a daughter-or vice versa? Does that give you the right to talk him/her into transitioning, even before full adulthood, or even before full puberty? How will that impact the life of that precious soul-tomorrow, next year, and ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Is that not an informed decision to be freely made by the person in question, as a mature adult?

It is well-known that I have deep feelings for someone who presently lives far from me. I also have deep feelings for my little family in Texas, for my siblings and extended family, across the continent and for all manner of friends in this community, and beyond. Any decision that I make, that impacts the life of any one of them, will actively take into consideration their thoughts, feelings and sensibilities. That is my path of unity.

The impact on unity of our decisions is large and small. Slight disunity is like a pebble in a shoe. Major disunity is like a brain tumour, or an abdominal stone. Most, if not all, of it can be avoided by consultation. The greater the chasm, the longer the bridge.

We did not arrive at a picture of what unity looks like, but we did leave the house with an overall sense of respect for one another. We did arrive at the realization that we are each primarily spiritual beings in physical bodies. We will proceed from there, in our deliberations.