family | A Sagittarian Seeker

April 15, 2015, Chino Valley- Whilst covering a classroom full of third graders today, I was told by two of the girls, independently of one another, that they had to run from a man who had tried to snatch them into his car. Both said that their parents had kept them safe, once they got away, and that the police had been told.

I showed each of them, vicariously, how to get free of a person who had them in an armhold, from behind. The heel of a shoe is a good, solid defensive weapon, when thrust backward at a would-be captor’s shin. It is important to note that, in neither case, was a weapon being brandished by the assailant. That, of course, is a game-changer, though not one that can withstand a little person’s ear-splitting shriek!

Today marks a year, since the abduction of over 200 school girls by Boko Haram. The Nigerian Army has been unshackled by the country’s new President, and along with forces from neighbouring countries, may well have more success in crushing the brutes of the Islamic far right. We can only pray, in the meantime, for the safe return of ALL children and teens who have been kidnapped or conscripted by the forces of darkness.

This brings me to the concept of defense against physical and sexual abuse of children, anywhere. The first line is always the individual’s realization that no one, at any time, has the right to abscond with his/her body, or mind. These are given each of us, by the Creative Force, and we relinquish them to others at our long-term peril. Secondly, family must defend the child’s well-being, with no regard for monetary gain, promises of support from the transgressors or, in the worst case, giving in to one’s psychological or emotional weaknesses. Thirdly, the community must support the child, hopefully with the family’s blessing, but unilaterally if the family is found to be the source of abuse, or in league with the abuser(s). There was a movement, in the 1980’s, to shift the focus of sexual abuse prevention away from the victim, towards “giving the abuser a chance at healing and redemption”. This was a terribly misguided effort, and set back the healing of thousands of abused children. I was glad to be part of an education effort, in the 1990’s, which reset the focus back on awareness and prevention, with treatment of offenders conducted separately, away from the programs that were concerned with the victims.

When I was accosted by a pedophile,at the age of fourteen, I was able to stand up to him and not be cowed by his loud threats. Nothing further came of his false bravado, and my life has gone on, with normal relationships with girls and women, in the years since. The best defense remains a solid first response of N-O!

November 20, 2014, Prescott- This evening will feature yet another speech by the current President. Some things will change in this country, albeit temporarily, as happens with Executive Order- induced policy adjustments. The whole affair, though, brings me to the matter of communities, large and small.

I have five basic observations:

1. Charity begins at home- Mother instilled this in each of us, from Day 1. Many people in this country are hyper-charitable. It’s an admirable thing, when they have the wherewithal to give copiously. I donate my time and money as close to the end receivers as possible, and as close to my own level of awareness of their situation as possible. There will always be people in need, right in one’s neighbourhood, and there will always be people in need on the other side of the planet. “The poor will always be with you.” Everyone can share something, but few can give all that much. My son is my top priority, then my family, then the community, starting in Prescott and working upward.

2. A family, and a community, is only as strong as the level of trust between its members. I live in a neighbourhood that is quite homogeneous. There is, however, a high level of mistrust, especially among men aged forty and older. Many of these men are carrying weapons. I don’t pack heat, but I can sense the fear and tension from those who do. Should there be a breakdown in order, many will opt for the quick response. It won’t be pretty.

3. This leads me to my own support system. My Baha’i community, Prescott Save Our Schools, Slow-Food Prescott, American Legion Post 6, and the Yavapai County Red Cross are my local support groups. Individual friends, both real-time and online, local and farther afield, offer additional back-up, and God knows I’ve needed it on several occasions. Those who don’t have a human support system turn to self-medication. This fuels the drug and sex trades, resulting in more misery across a wider area, and thus more human migration, both legal and surreptitious.

4. Politics has been defined as the art of the possible. For as far back as one can study, this has been taken to mean, the art of the powerful. It is time, with social media and its attendant level of awareness, for power to move from the ground up. Political extremists understand this, and have used it to their advantage. The grassroots, however, mean that everyone matters, not just the loudest, the most devious or those with the deepest pockets. Otherwise, what Pete Townshend wrote, in “Won’t Get Fooled Again”, will continue to be the norm: “The parting on the left is now parting on the right”, and back and forth, ad nauseam.

5. Character matters. We have seen so many prominent people, revered by the masses, prove to have committed horrible acts against others. Many will live in denial- Hitler still has his apologists, as do Mao Tse-tung, General Custer and Charles Manson. Others will subvert the misery of others for their own ends- which criminals have done since the Biblical Cain and Nimrod. Each of us does, however, have the bounden duty, from our Creator, as we understand Him/Her/It to be, to “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” The Golden Rule has nothing to do with “He who has the gold, rules”. As long as we are on the subject, though, it is worth remembering that every behaviour has its consequence, eventually.

The vast majority of people close to me are wondrous, loving and compassionate. I work, daily, to be the same and it hasn’t always been easy. It is, however, the only way I know to be.