Passages

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January 17, 2026-

Hana will never know seven of her great grandparents. Five of them, including my Dad and Penny’s parents, passed some time ago. My Mom has been gone for 1 1/2 years. Yunhee’s maternal grandfather bid farewell this evening.

I recall stories about my own maternal grandfather. He was, by all accounts, a hard- working man, who warned anyone who would listen about the rise of Fascism. That was in the Boston of the late 1920s and early ‘30s.

My maternal grandmother was a bright light of my early years. She would walk down the hill to visit, when we lived less than a mile away. After we moved to our own house, she would take the bus to our corner and walk down Adams Avenue. Either way, she was a reliable presence, until she became ill and passed on, in 1960.

My paternal grandparents were also endearing people. Grampy underwent an experimental heart bypass, in 1955 and didn’t make it through. Nana was more of an enduring presence, living to see and enjoy 49 grandchildren, then 10 great grands. she, too, would take the bus from her neighbourhood in nearby Lynn and one of us would pick her up at Saugus Center.

Hana will know them, and her grandmother, Penny, through stories and pictures. It will be a while, hopefully, before she encounters death as a part of life. Her maternal grandparents and I will keep ourselves active and healthy, and hopefully the impermanence of life will come to be understood in a positive context. I will teach her about spiritual energy, when she is old enough to understand such matters.

In the meantime, I will just be backing her up with prayers, and by holding her close, in a reassuring manner.

Apples and Oranges

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October 17, 2024, Manila- As I consider the whys and wherefores of a move to the Philippines, vs. staying put in the U.S., I sometimes get asked whether my friend is a surrogate for my late wife. This is a rather boorish question, but the people posing it are doing so in good faith-even if their reasoning is off.

Penny was Penny. I will love her forever, and that love will never be transferred to another person. Kathy is Kathy. I will love her forever, and that love is not derived from the feelings I had towards my late wife. The two women share a heritage-both were (are) German, by matrilineal descent. Both are fervent Baha’is- one in the spiritual realm; the other still serving our Lord in this realm, on a daily basis. Both exhibit high intelligence and curiosity. Both were(are) physically comely. Therein, the similarities run out. Penny was tall, musically-inclined and had a peppery personality. Kathy is short, a financial whiz and even-tempered. Neither could possibly be a surrogate for the other.

Penny was fond of saying: “An apple is an apple; it’s NOT an orange”, in response to anyone’s lame attempt at false equivalence. I do not place one love above the other. In the next life, I anticipate that we will all be part of a greater team of spirits, serving God in whatever way He deems fit. (There is, in Baha’i Teachings, no provision for free will, in the spirit realm.)

Thereby, I hold that my attraction to both women was (is) primarily due to their spirituality, which in turn, infuses each of their personalities-and contributes to their outward radiance. This is all I can say on the matter. Love is love.