No Backward Pivot

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March 8, 2024- My mother was a stay-at-home housewife, who also had a marketable skill: Hairdresser/cosmetologist. Our kitchen was her workspace, and I was honoured to make runs on a bus, to downtown Lynn, MA, from our home in Saugus, to purchase items that she needed for her trade. She is well-read, well-spoken and has kept up with current events, even in her 90s. Mother is nobody’s fool, and the four of us, her adult children, are all the better for it.

Today is International Women’s Day. Besides the maudlin truth that I would not be here today, were it not for a woman, it stands that I would not have had any kind of a life worth living, were it not for the life lessons imparted by Mom, by the six women who taught in our Elementary School, by several of the teachers in Junior High and High School (most notably Mrs. Katherine Vande and Miss Gladys Fox) and the devotion of my late wife, Penny. I would not be living as full a life as I have now, without the friendship of at least two dozen women, including someone I adore the most., but ALL of whom I love dearly.

There are those, both male and female, who harbor a thinly-veiled desire to put women “back in their place”, harkening back to the time when Mick Jagger could sing an abysmal tune, like “Under My Thumb”, or John Lennon croon a wretched song like “Little Girl”, and get away with it, even making a fair amount of money in the process. Maybe they want to go even further back, to the time when women were legally their husband’s, or father’s, chattel.

The genie cannot be put back in the bottle. It is ironic that many of the women who spout “traditonalist” views are self-made professionals, who have even told me that they are perfectly fine without a male mate in their lives. In that last pronouncement, they are right, in my humble opinion. Going back to the time when I was first contemplating proposing marriage to Penny, I weighed, very carefully, just how much I would add to the already distinguished and successful life she had made for herself. I am glad to have fully supported her further achievements, of two more Master’s Degrees and the implementation of three innovative programs, in schools where she subsequently worked. The woman was a genius. She was a fine wife and mother, but she would never thrived in a stay-at-home role.

In the Baha’i writings, it is stated that, given a choice of only educating one of two children, a son or a daughter, it is preferable to send the daughter to school, as the first teacher of a child is the mother. Cases in point: It was my mother who taught me to read, and to write in cursive letters. She was professional and exacting, and the lessons stuck. It was Penny who taught our son, Aram, to read, and to be careful in researching various aspects of life, before making a decision. Every one of the mothers among my female friends has had an outsized influence on the achievements of those of their children who have reached adulthood. That includes my sister, who has raised four strong and successful professionals.

The clock cannot be turned back. Thank God.

Journey 3, Day 17: Rainy Day People

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September 16, 2023, Crossville, TN- The flinty-eyed man seemed to regard me warily, as I walked into the front room, where he and two other folks were socializing, with the homeowner, over beer. After our host introduced me to the three neighbours, the wariness went away, and I was asked if I would consider moving here.

Crossville, and the immediate area around this house, are certainly salubrious enough, and the people are downright friendly, after about ten minutes of sizing up a newcomer. I am happy with my present Home Base, but it surely is fun to visit here.

The Pond at Crossville. (Above and below)

The flinty-eyed man asked me about Arizona. He wanted to know if Mexicans dominated the state. I answered in the negative, saying that while there was a sizable number of people of Mexican heritage there, that they were not in the least a dominating, domineering or unpleasant, in any respect. I told the group that I found Mexicans to be a hard-working people, which is true in Arizona, and from what I’ve seen, true in the Southeast as well. The restaurant where I had breakfast this morning, in Marion, VA is called Sur 81 (south on I-81). It is owned and operated by a wonderful Mexican family, and drew a large crowd while I was there. The food was sumptuous and the server, a gracious young lady. Basically, I see no difference between them and the Appalachian Whites who work the Bucc-ee’s, down the road from here. All are working hard and are merely providing for their families, as most people everywhere are doing.

The subject changed, from the politics of immigration, and of the next election,once I simply repeated that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and of course, vote accordingly. It seems to me that the most conservative person, and the most progressive, want above all to just be heard. It is when someone feels shut out, that the shrillness kicks in. The rest of their visit focused on the local high school football team, the way that the marching band’s sound carries, over the woods and to this bucolic neighbourhood, and the skill sets that help people make ends meet around here. Our host, Chuck, is a retired firefighter, so his life is pretty much cut and dried-he can either volunteer somewhere, or just hang out, and no one is of a mind to be critical.

Those who are depressed by a rainy day, such as today, might have taken the short gathering in the room as an invitation to sow division. My company, being more optimistic, and basically seeing “no problems, only solutions”, to quote John Lennon, takes a rainy day as a sign of blessings. So long as one is in a safe, dry place, the rain only enhances life. I had no issues with bringing my bags from the car to my room, in the pouring rain. God knows, there are way too many people who have no car-and no room.

I will leave here tomorrow, but Chuck’s encouragement of his neighbours, his wife, Laureen’s food truck, the flinty-eyed man’s auto repair shop-and the Bucc-ee’s down the road, will with any luck, long continue.