October 17, 2024, Manila- As I consider the whys and wherefores of a move to the Philippines, vs. staying put in the U.S., I sometimes get asked whether my friend is a surrogate for my late wife. This is a rather boorish question, but the people posing it are doing so in good faith-even if their reasoning is off.

Penny was Penny. I will love her forever, and that love will never be transferred to another person. Kathy is Kathy. I will love her forever, and that love is not derived from the feelings I had towards my late wife. The two women share a heritage-both were (are) German, by matrilineal descent. Both are fervent Baha’is- one in the spiritual realm; the other still serving our Lord in this realm, on a daily basis. Both exhibit high intelligence and curiosity. Both were(are) physically comely. Therein, the similarities run out. Penny was tall, musically-inclined and had a peppery personality. Kathy is short, a financial whiz and even-tempered. Neither could possibly be a surrogate for the other.

Penny was fond of saying: “An apple is an apple; it’s NOT an orange”, in response to anyone’s lame attempt at false equivalence. I do not place one love above the other. In the next life, I anticipate that we will all be part of a greater team of spirits, serving God in whatever way He deems fit. (There is, in Baha’i Teachings, no provision for free will, in the spirit realm.)

Thereby, I hold that my attraction to both women was (is) primarily due to their spirituality, which in turn, infuses each of their personalities-and contributes to their outward radiance. This is all I can say on the matter. Love is love.