Tag Archives: miscommunication

The Road to Diamond, Day 277: The Labour of Love, at Quarter Century

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 1, 2025- A friend was clearly shocked, voice breaking, whilst reading the message from a mutual friend, which indicated that here were two people talking past one another, regarding an act of service in which they had spent most of yesterday-and were pondering how to complete the job today.

We “Boomers” are in situations, quite often,in which two or more people get involved in helping a destitute, or infirm, friend-and find selves reaching own physical limits. I am fairly robust, at just shy of 75, but many of my contemporaries are not. I stand up for them, when they have to back off from work they find too onerous, given their physical state. The friend I first mentioned above is one of those who has every right to set limits. So, too, is the second friend, who is, in fairness, selfless to a fault. At some point, very soon, I hope that is realized.

I have to be very transparent, of late, about my own limits, which are more financial (preserving the means to reach my goals and to provide in the event of unforeseen emergencies) and temporal (not being able to spend time with certain folks around Home Base I, as I will be away for a good part of the rest of this year, and next),than physical-for the foreseeable future, anyway.

What my friends and I do is sincerely out of love. Favours, though, cannot be expected. In the past day or so, I have had to let two people, for whom I care deeply, know that they are not entitled to have me at their beck and call. This is as much out of regard for their own dignity and worth as it is for my own. I had to learn this the hard way, several years ago-and am grateful for the lesson, both as giver and as receiver.

We give of ourselves both in gratitude for those who gave to us, back in the day, and out of love for those who are at wit’s end. We offer a hand up, rather than a hand out, as much as our own means allow. Happy Labour Day, all!

Burning the Mask of Obligation

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Posted by on in distraction issues, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Spiritual, Striving

October 13, 2018, Prescott-

Obligations are things one takes on, in order to please other people.  They could become passions, which are those things one takes on out of sincere spirit and pure love.   Parenthood, spouseship and a sane and intelligent patriotism are examples of the latter.

In this life, however, there are obligations each of us take on, which raise the person to whom we feel obliged to the status of superior, or master.  Unless one feels passionate about the activity  in which s(he) or he is involved, the obligation becomes a false one.  Many holiday celebrations, for example, become empty rote activities- none of them memorable.  Going to the place of employment, for all too many people, is an empty obligation.  Even having a conversation, if there is no passion, involves putting on the mask of caring, almost a political and vapid exercise.  It fools no one, except, perhaps, oneself.

I have been in the process of shedding obligations, for the past seven years.  Marriage was an act of living love, and never felt like an empty obligation.  There were plenty of moments of misunderstanding, but the passion did not disappear.   Fatherhood is an act of living love, even when miscommunication and physical distance seem to create a sense of discord.  The passion does not disappear.

Working with children and youth is an act of living love, even when their behaviour seems to be enough to drive one to the edge of insanity.  The passion cannot disappear.

Growing as a spiritual being is the greatest of passions- otherwise I would likely dissipate as a person. This means two things:  Do not filter communication, no matter how seemingly drawn out it may be.  Presence is a burden, when viewed in the least obligatorily.  It can only be viewed, from a passionate viewpoint, by not filtering the subject presenting self, in any way.  This requires being totally non-judgmental, as to what is worthy of one’s attention and to what is trifling or frivolous.  How many wars have been started, and fought, because of a perceived or real slight?

So, as I look at obligations, great and small, and bring those that matter to the level of passion-I must chance the burning of the masks of obligation, that I may show the real face that comes with passion.

NEXT:  The Mask of Self-Disdain