Tag Archives: orthodoxy

The Road to Diamond, Day 71: Smoothing Rough Edges

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, service, Social, Spiritual, Striving

February 7, 2025, Manila- The otherwise courtly man awoke from his nap, and marched into the kitchen: “Where’s my coffee??” As the rest of us have been fixing our own caffeinated drinks, for as far back as I’ve been coming here, I was a bit nonplussed. The ladies in the kitchen were, however, furious, as was the construction project lead, who is every bit as much an advocate of women’s rights as I have been. The visitor got his cup of coffee prepared for him, with the understanding that any refills would be prepared by him, alone.

We are in an age of smoothing rough edges. This state of affairs means that each of us must bring ourselves to account each day, work on those weak spots and give some grace to those who stumble in one area or another. The visitor was, in general, polite and considerate, and was more than generous to the kitchen manager’s teenage son, after realizing that he had offended people with his earlier demand.

Back in the United States, it is particularly urgent for people to look at one another with the eye of understanding. Overlooking the viewpoints of other right-thinking people will not, inherently, change those viewpoints. Rather, it will only increase the likelihood of a return to policies that are seen as shopworn, anachronistic or otherwise counterproductive. The other thing that will guarantee revanchism is overplaying one’s own hand. For example, forcing others to adhere to one’s own orthodoxy-even if that belief system has some redeeming social value. People need to be persuaded, not coerced. That persuasion has to appeal to the hearer’s understanding of the world.

That means giving the “other side” the tools by which to smooth their own rough edges, while one smooths his/her own.

Laughter and Forgetting

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Fiction, Historical, Inspiration, Literary criticism, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

July 13, 2023- Milan Kundera, born and having cut his literary teeth in the place then known as Czechoslovakia, passed to the ethereal realm yesterday, at the age of 94. Best known for his 1984 novel “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”, a unique take on the Butterfly Effect, if you will, examining a world in which conflicting needs-as well as seemingly unrelated events, intertwine.

Kundera’s works, including the 1979 anthology, “The Book of Laughter and Forgetting”, both revel in and bemoan the conflicts that arise between even the most tightly-connected people. It looks at the origins of laughter-which Kundera hints may have been demonic-then was used by angels to mock the devil. In its seven tales, this theme of using something dear to a being, in order to cut him/her down to size, circles and swirls through the plot threads.

Kundera himself started out as an idealist, who saw communism as the great leveler. Once the Soviet behemoth stomped out the reforms of Alexander Dubcek, in 1968, Milan began to openly question his own orthodoxy-even while stubbornly holding to the ethos of grassroots reform. After having lived for a time in France, and seeing that there was much dissatisfaction among the youth there, he began to adopt a far broader perspective on reform, one that transcended any given system that depended on an authoritarian bent, in order to maintain control.

Often in life, we take what offends us, often about ourselves, and project the blemish onto those who challenge us or who have other ways of looking at life, methods which we don’t understand. Kundera tried to hang on to communism, the way some here in America hang on to a view of class or racial dominance and others, a view of a nation that has forcibly overcome its practices that have engendered such domination.

In the end, as I began to note in a conversation which has just started, with a slightly older friend, we can only address the conflict that presents itself in the mirror, and like Milan Kundera, decide which is the best recourse for dealing with it-laughter, or forgetting. Which of these, best melds with atoning for, or changing, those of our thoughts and actions that have caused pain to self and others?