June 25, 2024- Mother has been unequivocal, all these years, about us sons not dwelling upon the physical appearance of this young lady or that woman. We were taught, early on, not to stare at people, or to make untoward remarks or comments on anyone’s appearance. “You will get your mouth washed out with soap!” That applied equally as much to cussing, in general, but she and Dad both stressed that our job, as boys and as men, was to safeguard the rights of women and girls.

She has been the comeliest of women, so that admonition had valid roots. No one in my circle ever said anything remotely disrespectful about her; we were hard-wired in that way. My memories of her, growing up, were centered though, not on appearance, except as a marker of self-esteem and of respect for those around us. We were taught to dress nicely for school, for medical and dental appointments and for formal social occasions. Mostly, though, how we looked was an indicator of how we regarded the people around us.

When it came time for me to choose a mate, I valued Penny’s intellect, spirituality and musical bent, even more than her beauty. We had the old Amish adage: “Good cookin’ lasts; good lookin’ don’t” on our stove, for a good period of the time we were together. She looked lovely anyway, but that was a bonus. The same is true now, with someone who has drawn me in, with her spirituality, vibrant air, common sense and gentle demeanor. That K is comely is also a bonus.

All the souls gone on will no doubt be glad for those of us who have reached that point in our lives, where we treasure that old Amish adage.