Tag Archives: self-absorption

Loyalty

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 3, 2024- The old reminiscing intelligence officer, in the currently-playing film “Reagan”, speaks at one point of the reason people give their lives: “Not for the nation, nor for the Party, the State, or even for God-but for one another. ” It rings true: Behind every sacrifice, there is loyalty to a loved one, or maybe several- Parents for children, and vice versa; siblings for one another; friends, likewise and, occasionally, a few noble souls for their compatriots as a group.

After a recent non-verbal dust-up between me and someone with a more elitist view of life, several friends have asked if there is anything they might do to help. There isn’t, really, and the best thing for me to do is to let the other person alone, and let time do its thing. Personality differences rarely get resolved through intervention, shaming or castigation. People are the sum total of their experiences, plus all that DNA. Only internal processing and heart transformation can lead to a turn-around. Only that turn-around can make someone loyal to others beside self. Besides, I have to fall back on the message of one of Sportage’s bumper stickers: “Love your enemies and you won’t have any”.

My own loyalty to anyone besides myself and my immediate family came late, and came hard. Only giving up alcohol really changed my temperament, and even then, it was Penny’s love, and the Baha’i teachings, that brought my heart more into awareness of a larger circle of humanity. Beforehand, my concern for the human race was present in the background, surfacing on occasion-and therefore coming across as contrived, mainly because internally it was an abstraction.

Now my layered loyalty is what sustains me, both emotionally and physically.

The Flow of Life

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, Community, Family, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

April 12, 2024- During the course of the day, at least 64 people donated blood, in a small conference suite of Frontier Village, a Prescott shopping center, located 2.1 miles from the center of town. Each person potentially saved the life of a hospitalized individual, a victim of a fire, or of a car crash, or a beating. In the days when assaults on strangers seem to be increasing, sixty-four people chose to help someone they did not know. A few of them told me, the registrar of the Blood Drive, of how someone else had once helped a family member in need.

Across the country, my mother is alert, mildly talkative, still taking minimal nutrients, and pondering the flow of life. She is ninety-five years of age, has seen four children and ten grandchildren grow to adulthood. She is seeing nineteen great-grandchildren grow into solid human beings. Through it all,she has been a stellar example of how to face challenges, head-on. Her life is flowing towards the delta that is the gateway to the ocean of eternity. It has been, by all indications, a grand journey.

Here in Home Base I, increasing numbers of people are facing the reckoning that always comes with ignoring a simple rule of life: Other people matter, every bit as much as oneself does. The person in a crosswalk, the rider of a motorcycle, a bicycle or a skateboard, the person standing in line ahead of you are not objects to be conveniently shoved aside or targets to be struck by a vehicle. Red lights, stop signs and temporary barriers, or detours, are not nuisances to be ignored, out of a desire for convenience. People who hold an opinion that differs from one’s own are not monsters to be slain or idiots to be publicly humiliated. I know that every community faces a similar challenge, in a world that still is plagued by anonymity and self-absorption. That self-absorption, though, is always headed towards a dead end.

The flow of life will ever go, in the direction that the Universe intends, and while that sometimes seems to head in odd tangents, in the end, it will likewise find its way to the Most Great Ocean.

Last Minute

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, impediments, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

May 18, 2023- The message was sudden, but not all that surprising. Essentially, it was ‘I have run into difficulty. Please stop what you’re doing and help me get out of this jam.’ Being one who has to deliberate a bit, when it comes to unanticipated requests, I replied that I had no pat answers or novel solutions.

I understand the situation. There have been times, as recently as twelve years ago, when I would leave things until the last minute, then pitch to family and friends for relief. This came from telling myself that life is too hard, too unfair and that if only people knew my heart, they would gladly keep on helping me out. The finest response I ever got was “Enough! Work it out, even if it’s painful for a while.” That was from someone who did know my heart.

From that point on, I learned that taking full responsibility and reverting to my former practice of finding solutions in advance of an emergency, and connecting with the providers of those solutions-in other words, networking, when necessary, allows for a much fuller, more satisfying life-and for better friendships. The days when people, rightfully, would run when they saw me coming, are in the past. I aim to keep it that way.

After several hours of reflection, and of consulting with other friends, it is clear that the individual who needs help is best pointed towards an agency, rather than random assistance from a scattering of angels.