Tag Archives: self-reliance

The Road to Diamond, Day 261: Affirmed

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, distraction issues, impediments, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving, Travel

August 16, 2025- The energy of the day showed its hand early. Sportage’s battery gave out, after four years of service. I had a new one purchased and installed, well in time to go to Farmers’ Market and assist in the breakdown. My co-worker also observed that the energy was a bit on the thick side and she wasn’t getting as much done, to her chagrin. I recalled that Penny was a lot about stopping and smelling the roses, where I had long been Mr. Full Speed Ahead. There is more of a mix between the two, these days, and I have my beloved departed wife to thank for that.

An old friend interrupted her braiding of her second daughter’s hair, and gave me a bear hug, letting me know that various acts of kindness over the years have been fully appreciated. I am constantly, she said, on her and her children’s minds. That the kids are furtive and shy does not mean they are any less appreciative. I will be sure to visit them over Labor Day weekend, a week before wheels up to Iceland, Sweden and other points on the European continent.

Another old friend needed my affirmation of her worth. She is a person who has suffered much and yet gets a good measure of happiness out of hard work. Facing the sometime harsh realities of capitalism has also not been very easy on her. She is facing an aggressive and not altogether ethical competitor, who seems to have the blessing of their collective landlord. I let her know that I have her back and will look for ways that she can innovate, and meet her competitor’s challenge in an honourable manner. My father taught that other people are most often well within their rights, even if they cross my path. I take that very much to heart.

In all the ups and downs of living alongside other people, it has long been my view that there is no daylight, when it comes to paying attention to those around us and helping them play to their strengths. We also, however, must take care of ourselves, not depending entirely on those around us. So my day started with car care and ended with an evening of listening to long-time friends playing a mix of 60s-00s rock and country classics. The hummus plate was fabulous, as ever.

Torn Plastic

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Posted by on in Assistance, children, collaborating, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Striving

January 18, 2024- The technician went over Sportage, noting the areas that will be repaired, from December 4’s encounter with the traffic cone, and a small tear in the rear door lift-not part of the claim. I can mend the latter myself, using JB Weld, or maybe a clear epoxy. 

My recent time at Ghost Ranch restored a sense of competence in matters of handiwork. It had been a long time since I did anything that involved a degree of knowledge in one of the trades. I did paint my house in Phoenix, externally and most of the interior-just not enough to feel a sense of completion. Back then, Penny’s care was more important.      

I don’t have to do much, manually, here at Home Base 1-being a renter. If my life circumstances change, though, I would want to draw on the latent skill sets that served me quite well, last week. It boils down to patience, and being able to do things one step at a time. Multitasking often works against the craftsman, the manual labourer, whose work will never truly become outdated or inconsequential.

Tomorrow, I will prepare a small item for use as a necklace, which may be sent as a gift, for an upcoming Baha’i festival. That will be another affirmation of skill set. When Sportage comes back, next week, I will repair the torn spot on the door lift. It’s all a matter of self-confidence, and patience. 

Parents, raise your children in a degree of self-reliance. The Pros and experts won’t always be available to help.

The Vehicle

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

June 29, 2023- In the debate that has ensued today, following a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court to end quota admissions to universities, there have emerged two heartfelt themes-both looking for the same result: Education, leading to success in life.

One response is that it is too soon for such an end. There is a sense that a backlash is building against people who are disadvantaged, that those who have built their own fortunes are tired of sharing and that it looks as if the fortunate want to cut off the flow of opportunity.

The other says that people no longer need to have their hands held by legislative fiat or executive action. This group is not all that enamoured of a system that excludes people, either. They see through a different lens, that of disciplined self-reliance and resilience.

There is, as is often the case, merit to both views. I listened to a man explain that he sees America through the windshield of the vehicle, that he wants to see people ahead and not be stuck in the past. I listened to someone else say that the barriers to progress are still in the road, and have to be removed, before the vehicle can go forward in a meaningful way.

A successful driver tends to all aspects of the journey. The vehicle is maintained and kept roadworthy. The driver keeps self rested and stays attentive to all around, minding the traffic signals and signs, and driving at a speed that is safe for the conditions of traffic and the road itself. The driver does not impose own will on others, nor act as if others have no business being on the road.

THIS is where those who call for a complete end to quotas, in the matter of higher education, need to check the rear view mirror-and the side views. There are, in fact, those who want to push the vehicle into reverse and there are those who creep up into the vehicle’s blind spot, and sneak past on the inside-because that is legal. Some of them pose as advocates of self-reliance. They are anything but.

Taking unfair advantage of others-whether they seek a college/university education, or want to pursue a career in the trades, should be opposed by all leaders of good will. The wise driver delivers passengers safely to their destination and helps fellow travelers achieve their goals as well.

The Overlooked Angst

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Historical, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 30, 2023- The big news of the day seems to be the indictment of Donald J. Trump, on charges of paying off at least one paramour-albeit before he was a candidate for President. It is, of course, important to bear in mind that he is now to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, in our system of justice.

Trump is a hero to many who hold ultraconservative beliefs. Rightly or wrongly, these people regard him as the last hope for maintaining a social order to which they have become accustomed, over several generations. An examination of history, however, shows that no social order remains static, in perpetuity.

A social system and an economy that profited off enslavement existed in many nations, across the Americas and in much of western and northern Europe, for nearly 350 years. It was gradually dismantled, over several decades of the Nineteenth Century, although its residue remained-in the forms of Jim Crow laws, social and commercial segregation and barriers to suffrage, for nearly a hundred years after the emancipation of the enslaved-in several countries and most prominently in the United States. There are those who equate Civil Rights for people of colour with a decline in the standard of living for white people.

A significant percentage, and for part of our history a majority, of the American population, has adhered to one denomination or another, of the Christian Faith. The increase in the percentage of the American people who adhere to spiritual traditions other than Christianity has left many aghast.

A key underpinning of American culture has been self-reliance. People have been brought up to be neighbourly, but not to depend on others, and especially not on the government, to provide for their well-being. Greed and mistrust, resulting in tragedy and suffering, have led, over the past 120 years, to various policies of the Federal, state and local governments that are intended to safeguard the public against the excesses of the few.

Into the climate of overlooked angst, among people of traditional bearing, have stepped many demagogues, over the past 150 years. They have stoked the fears of those for whom the rapid pace of change has proved overwhelming. They have tapped into a culture of profiting off those fears and have obfuscated, deflected the nature of those changes. They have gaslit the people who have legitimate grievances and turned reasonable arguments for change and reform on their heads.

Those who sincerely honour the Ten Commandments, which are based on the Golden Rule, have nothing to fear from the rising tide of inclusivity. Conversely, those who sincerely want to bring a true sense of fairness into the national fabric have nothing to fear from those who practice the Golden Rule, in a traditional manner. What each does have to fear, besides fear itself, is the aftermath of their opposite numbers being duped into engaging in violence against them.

The only path to peace in the house is in gleaning the validity of points raised, regardless of where on the political spectrum those points originate-and proceeding from common ground. Society cannot stand on a zero-sum foundation.

Saving Grace

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, Education, impediments, Inspiration, Personal goals, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 9, 2022- I woke this morning, after a vivid dream, in which I had overextended myself, while working in what was a mishmash of high school and university. My first hour class was a high level physics class, in which nearly thirty students submitted intensely detailed project synopses. As they left, I was organizing the submissions into a manageable stack, then realized that I needed to be across campus in short order, to conduct a physical education class, which had not met for two weeks-because I was too involved with the first hour. Surely, the P.E. students had given up on their wretch of an instructor. A visiting professor from Canada appeared and wondered aloud, as to why I had not delegated more to Teaching Assistants-“since that seems to be an American thing”.

It was then that I woke and realized that I had no such responsibilities, and was not going to let anyone down, today, and for the foreseeable future. My substituting tasks are pretty cut and dried, mostly at the upper elementary level, so there is scant chance that any such negligence will be my lot.

In other parts of my life, there is a nagging feeling that I have let people down, by not being where they seem to expect me to be. On the one hand, it is a fine thing to be needed, but on the other, I know that my obligations are primarily to the Creator, then to my own health and sanity, and to family, and only then to the outstretched hands. Someone I admire and respect has seemingly, and unfortunately, taken the brevity of my recent visit as a sign of disinterest on my part, and cut off contact. This is bound to happen, fairly regularly, as the world’s transition to a society at once more connected and yet composed more of self-reliant individuals, struggles to find the balance between those who are self-reliant and those who are needy.

The saving grace, as I was reminded by a dining companion at lunch today, is to recognize that not everyone’s demands of us have an inherent sense of urgency-even when histrionics are employed. My work in this community, and further afield, will stand on its own merits. This is the best that I, or anyone else, can offer.