Tag Archives: zero sum games

The Road to Diamond, Day 280: The Lone Deer

2
Posted by on in Alternative Careers, animal and plant life, Assistance, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Social, Spiritual, Striving

September 4, 2025- The juvenile doe gingerly approached the front yard of the home on Copper Basin Road, the penultimate southernmost road that is headed east to west, in Prescott. It was not unusual to see a deer, or even a predator, along this road. Deer are very social animals though, so seeing a loner was out of the ordinary. I wondered if she were orphaned, or just cut off from her herd. Maybe they were already in the back yard. Even the most social of animals can have stragglers. I can pretty much surmise, though, that the doe was not alone by conscious choice.

We humans are almost unique, in that we can isolate ourselves by placing excessive demands on our families, friends and associates. I have known people, a few of whom are still on the periphery of my social circle, who follow up a contingent demand with yet another. Most, if not all, of their relationships are conditional upon their being treated with deference-and usually at the expense of someone else-of whom they are jealous, or by whom they feel threatened.

I’ve said it before, though, and still maintain, that life is not a zero sum game. There has been, and remains, enough of me to share with several people about whom I care. So far, holding that stance has caused the more skittish ones to stop and thank me for what has been done on their behalf, at least for a few days. In my earlier years, I often kept to myself, only going to join other neighbourhood kids when they came by the house. So, I know a little of what the loners are feeling.

In middle childhood and in adolescence, being with others became more important, so I went to school dances, joined in games and sports, even if I was terrible at them and hung out with others at friends’ houses or went to their families’ camps. This probably kept me alive and reinforced the social skills that my parents bent over backwards, trying to instill earlier.

It also gave me the sense that, after losing my wife of 29 years, staying active in the community-first in Phoenix and then in Prescott- was what was going to guide me back to health and well-being. Community service then indirectly led me to do Terra supplements and a more healthy diet. It ended my status as lone deer- and brought first a wider social circle here in Prescott, then across Arizona and more widely-nationally and internationally.

I thought of these things even further, after offering similar advice to someone in another state, who recently retired and is looking for ways to build a new life. I hope this person will follow a path of self-discovery and self-realization. Each of us has gifts that are far beyond our understanding. Service and fellowship can bring those out.

Perhaps That’s Why….

6
Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, Community, distraction issues, Historical, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

November 12, 2022- “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate….”-Strother Martin, as Captain, in “Cool Hand Luke”.

I was raised to be clear in my communication with others, to not be ambiguous. As long as I have been faithful to that childhood teaching, things have gone quite well. I have, in all honesty, only been deeply, viscerally hated by someone, three times in my life. All three came from lapses of communication-either failure to listen, from stubbornness despite getting the message or from not being direct in my messaging.

I thought of this, while having lunch at a local diner, and hearing a familiar litany of complaints about our state’s leadership. It occurs to me that, while the goal of many is to increase inclusivity in the life of the community, the process is missing its target-either because the reformers are still playing the same zero sum game that got us into trouble in the first place or because they have something to hide. I am not much for conspiracy theories, so my money is on the former.

The zero sum gambit, in this case, is that conservatives have to give up something so that the historically marginalized, the cast-offs, can get what’s theirs. Zero sum games, whether played by the Right or by the Left, generate push back from those left out.

What if there is actually enough to go around? What if the problem is one of distribution, and not one of supply? The answers to these questions do not fall on the descendants of the enslaved, the small farmers, the overseers or the middle class townspeople. They do not fall to the First Nations people who were driven before the homesteaders, nor to the homesteaders themselves. They do not fall to the immigrants and their descendants. They fall instead to those who devised the system based on zero sum philosophy. Was their goal, is their goal still, to build a society that will primarily benefit the few? There are those who will freely admit that is the case, while chortling at how good their lot in life is, as a result. There are still others who nervously, even heatedly, deny any ill intent. Yet, those who are hearing them are not fooled. Some feel powerless; others feel a need to lash out and attack-even physically. Yet, there are those of us who see through all of it and know who the wire pullers are.

What we have here is failure to honestly communicate. The time when that tactic stops working is close at hand. People across the spectrum are learning to speak with one another, civilly and honestly. They are comparing notes and building plans that will benefit one and all, not just a few.

Perhaps that’s why we can trust in an optimistic view.