Musings in Darkness

April 30, 2018, Twin Arrows, AZ-

As I sit in this quiet hotel lobby, watching over a little boy and his family, in various stages of sleep, I feel an odd comfort. They may very well have lost their home by now.

The power in their forest home may be shut off, also, as authorities seek to curb further sources of fire. The wind, meanwhile, is roaring, and is no doubt being answered by the blaze, 60 miles to the southeast, in a hideous call and response.

I am as alone now, as I’ve been in quite a while. An online group, with whom I’ve been sharing some fairly deep thoughts, have gone dark, after one of their number took exception to a post I wrote on their site. I deleted the post, but no matter. What’s done is done and even among the enlightened, there are limits to what one is allowed to say.

Here, at least, I can pretty much speak freely, so long as I am respectful of others. I love so many, albeit mostly not in a romantic way. (There are only two of whom I can say I am inclined that way and I’ve met neither, in person, so that may be fanciful thinking.) It matters little, though I am bound to be scolded for entertaining such feelings, yet again. We live in a judgemental society.

Enough of this. I need to rest a bit and focus my thoughts on the day ahead. There will be the drive back to Prescott, a couple hours of work, a haircut and a chiropractic treatment, then more rest and some time at the gym.

Be safe and well. I love you all.

6 thoughts on “Musings in Darkness

  1. Are you in Twin Arrows with the Red Cross. That looks like a wicked fire! Be safe!!! I hope the family you are with has not lost their home — it will be difficult in any case for them to go back. I am learning that power may be cut both to prevent the spread of fire and to protect the grid — I believe this is a relatively new tactic, perhaps as a result of the Thomas Fire, where that was not done. I assume you are on strike along with your colleagues — how sad that you and the students must endure such civil disobedience! You are not alone — we all have deep thoughts that are ours alone and may or may not strike a chord with others. A key for me has been not to discuss my inner feelings outwardly except with the other person involved — my “romantic feelings” then hurt nobody but myself, and I can divulge them where appropriate.

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    • I was at Twin Arrows and it is indeed a wicked fire. Your theory about the power cut is correct. We are not, as yet, on strike. Today was a pre-scheduled non-work day for paraprofessionals, like me. Rest assured that this time, no one, not even the foci of my affections, knows of my feelings, os no one will get hurt but me, if there is hurt involved. I learned very well, the last time.

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  2. I’m glad you are safe and that you are being the “Guardian Angel” for this displaced family. They must take comfort in knowing that they can sleep in safety with you watching over them.
    As for secret thoughts and feelings – we are all entitled to entertain them and should not ever feel pressure to divulge the contents of our inner most dreams and hopes. We are never truly alone as we are surrounded by all the love and caring that has been released into the heavens and earth…

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    • I believe all of this. Others are watching over the family, this evening, as I am back at Home Base, readying for a return to my day job. I feel the love that is guarding me, from a set of trials.

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