January 30, 2019-
As I mentioned in the previous post, many people look at themselves, or at others, and see ONLY one, two or three aspects, or dimensions of the person. If one sees one’s own worth, solely in terms of work ethic, then the admirable work drive consumes the person, and most likely will leave the soul wanting affirmations, as to all that there is, untapped and atrophying, in its other dimensions. If a person views members of the opposite gender, primarily in terms of physical attributes, then the beholder will be constantly bored, listless, looking for the next comely person to appear. The person so objectified may pick up on this, in fairly short order, and understandably move on, feeling basically unappreciated. The same is true for ANY single attribute: Athletic prowess, financial acumen, generosity, being light on one’s feet, sense of humour, and so on.
We are far more than the sum of our observable parts, because so much of one’s whole is UNOBSERVABLE, to the naked eye- and to the naked psyche. I could be dressed to the nines, should I attend a gala event, and perhaps attract a woman’s attention. If, when next she sees me, I am in a message teeshirt and old Dockers and am perhaps a bit unkempt, she will experience cognitive dissonance, to the extent she sees me as a one or two dimensional individual.
If a stand-up comic regales his audience, of a Saturday night, leaving most of those in attendance, in stitches, and a few days later, in a foul mood, encounters one of them and brushes off a request for an autograph, the same sort of dissonance may be the jilted fan’s experience.
Simply put, it takes time- and a fair amount of it, to really “get under the hood” of a human engine. I experienced my late wife, in all of her moods, and vice versa, BEFORE we were married. Being prepared to stick together, through whatever storms came our way, made all the difference, including readying me for the caretaker role I was to assume, in her final eight years on this plane. It was NOT true, as one of my accusers put it, not long ago, that the only way Penny could get my attention was to get sick. We lived for one another, day and night, for nearly thirty years.
The same is true of every other married couple I know, who have endured, or are enduring, similar storms. The same is true of work partners, in many enterprises. The same is true of the most intimate and enduring relationships, of any sort.
NEXT: What are some of the dimensions, of which little is commonly known?