Home Is Fluid

September 17, 2019-

“Well help me figure this place out.  I know I’m an outsider, but I’m not an enemy.” “No, you’re not.  But in this town those two words mean the same thing.”                     – Toni Morrison, “Paradise”

So, I was part of an interview, this morning, promoting a Home Safety event, sponsored by the American Red Cross, and to be held this coming Saturday.  Inside that little room, among friends, I felt like somebody, safe and honoured.  The interview went well, and I felt secure in sharing it on social media, once back in my apartment.

Walking from the studio to Ms. Natural’s, I crossed the Courthouse Plaza, normally a neutral place, where all are welcome, at least officially. Today, I had to pass by those who glared at me in my Red Cross shirt and ball cap; pass by the well-to-do, who look down at anyone not dressed for business.  It’s never pleasant dealing with the Self-Perceived Originals, in any community.

It was much different at Ms. Natural’s, as it always is.  Claudia and the young ladies are not from here, either, and know some of what gets thrown around, by some of the Pioneer Families and the faux elite.  I am at home there.  Sharlot Hall, one of the original pioneers, for whom Prescott’s Historical Museum is named, would spin in her grave  at the pretense and the snobbery.

No matter; I am here to serve those who need it and just have to put my lingering Impostor Syndrome and refugee mentality aside.  The people who accept me, and take me into their circle, are also from somewhere else.  These are the ones who matter.  They are the ones who make it all worthwhile. Home, for me, is a fluid term.



6 thoughts on “Home Is Fluid

      • I used to have cotard’s syndrome, which isn’t known by many, so I get our brains can turn on us. I went back and forth between being immortal and being dead.

        At least you know. I hope you continue to fight it and not let it destroy your life. And hey, we all burn ourselves with high standards. Knowing who we are helps. Self-actualizing is a great skill.

        Don’t shame yourself. You are a worthy person who loves and is loved.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Hello Fellow Traveler,
    Red vests and red baseball caps, not a good combination right now. Even if they say Red Cross. People wee what they want to see. Then you get their reactions. You do good work, and that is all that matters. You seem to be very observant of your surroundings, and feel a bit imposter syndrome. Been there, Done that myself. At some point we realize that we can “do things, say things, think things” because we have invested time, talent and treasure into that knowledge base. It took me a long time to feel ok in my own skin and to be able to use my own voice. And be damned what everybody else thinks about me or whatever I say.

    I think if we live in truth and we radiate truth, people see that too. It matters what some think, but not all. Know the difference. As long as we are not hurting anyone in our pursuits, then we are an good ground.

    Cheerio from Montreal.

    Liked by 1 person

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