November 30, 2019-
The question was posed to me, earlier this evening: “Why do some people not acknowledge texts for a week and a half, or a month?” I can’t speak for any of those who do this as, if I can’t respond to someone’s messages in a timely manner, I’ll let them know at least that much- “Will get back to you by (thus and such day or time).” If the person’s messages become offensive, I will say so, and free myself of her/his company, as I’ve done exactly twice, permanently, and once, temporarily.
I did a bit of thinking, though, about the phenomenon known as ghosting. People seem to remove themselves from someone’s life, without notifying the individual, because:
- They’ve lost interest in the person.
- They are going through difficulties/trauma, which they feel is all-encompassing and that the other person’s tests and difficulties would only add to their distress. I’ve been there, on both sides of the struggle. I can only thank God that I was taught the tools, such as deferred attention, which obviate ghosting on my part.
- . They just don’t know what to say to the person anymore; perhaps because s(he) always has a counter answer for their suggestions or just plugs her/his ears to whatever they say. There are also those who don’t know how to address chronic, seemingly intractable, matters-especially if they involve the person’s family.
Ghosting, as a means to restoring one’s sense of inner harmony, is a falsehood. The person, whom one is avoiding, has not disappeared from the Universe, and unless one summons the fortitude to let her/him know that ties are being cut, for whatever reason, then there is no closure-and the same challenge, from which one is running, will present itself, in the form of another troubled person, at some point either shortly thereafter, or a few years down the road.