January 2, 2020-
In the course of introducing Yunhee to three of Prescott’s lakes, on the last day before her husband, my son, returns to civilian life, we came upon the phenomenon of thin ice, covering the less exposed parts of Granite Basin and Watson Lakes. In the latter location, few of the area’s signature birds were around, having made the wise choice to visit southern Mexico for a few months. Instead, the eyes were drawn to an ice dam, which served to slow the flow of water into the Watson Woods Riparian Area, also known as “The Swamp”.
It got me to thinking about the emotional and psychological ice dams, which slow and sometimes stop our interactions. I have learned that these are purely defense mechanisms- chill vibes, acting like one is busy, and sheer emotional absence. When one is offended by something, trying to figure out life or is just plain overwhelmed, offering an icy reception to those around self is a sometimes rationalized pattern of behaviour. How well it serves the purpose has to be balanced with what happens next, or down the road. Consider that an overabundance of ice can move, glacier-like, towards the shores of a nearby community. Likewise, so can a glacial pattern of behaviour serve to overwhelm one’s social circle and create a different sort of isolation than that which a person is trying to arrange.
I am fortunate in my Tribe, both birth family and wider circle. A few go through bouts of isolation, and they let me know when I’m welcome again. Most, like anyone else, are following their life plans. I am doing the same, and have spent the past few days ruminating, and getting messages, as to how this year will best play out. More on that, in the next post, but essentially I see that those closest to me here, who are like younger siblings, do not need to have me hovering close by-and that they seem to prefer my following my own life plan. To alter that, on their behalf, short of an emergency, would mean they would, in turn, be altering their life plan for my benefit.
There is more than one kind of ice dam.