“I’m Up Here”

March 9, 2020-

The above statement is often made by a woman who is reacting, in a gently upbraiding manner, to having a man (or boy) focusing his attention on her torso.  I haven’t had that sort of correction being offered me, up to now, though it’s been a self-teaching process, over the years, to direct my attention to a person’s eyes, as we are engaged in conversation.  My autism had me looking down, anyway, so I recognize the imperative of eye contact- if for no other reason than to establish trust.  Besides, it takes three seconds to ascertain if someone is physically attractive; there’s no reason to stare.

It seems to be working, especially these past fifteen years, and definitely of late.  The ubiquity of  those who are either wearing tight clothing, or are “scantily clad” is something I’ve come to regard as mostly for the person’s comfort.  I find Millennial and Generation Z females both more modest in their interpersonal behaviour and more assertive with regard to their rights in the public sphere, than many of my generation were at the same age.  That may not be everyone else’s conclusion, but it’s what I see, in the course of my work, in my travels and at musical gatherings, such as the one I attended yesterday.  Then again, there is the fact that my relationship to the rising generations is one of mentoring, affirmation and overall support.

I like to engage people “up here”.

9 thoughts on ““I’m Up Here”

    • Not there, as most girls would use less polite language, in countering boys’ unwelcome gazes. I have heard it more with women trying to get a man’s errant eyes where they belong. Thanks to my mother and her rules, I’ve never been one of them’


  1. Hello Concert Man !

    aw, boys and some men cannot help themselves when boobs appear !!! I see it quite often, guys who really don’t get it. I’ve been privy to the “Hey, my eyes are up here” comment too, not because I was staring, but stood close enough to an idiot.

    You get ten seconds upon alighting a woman to begin a glance, on approach, if your glance persists beyond ten seconds and your eyes don’t automatically cast upwards, I’ve seen it happen, where our women will just turn and walk away. Many of our young women, who I am going to see in just a little while tonight, don’t take any shit from anyone.

    If men are ungracious, they will be reprimanded in open community. For Sure !!!


    Liked by 1 person

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