Monthly Archives: March 2021

Sarah’s Solution

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Historical, Service Activities, Social, Striving

March 11, 2021- In 1984, whilst in Guyana, I ran out of shampoo and went to the open air market in the small town of Bath. There, I purchased some Palmolive Shampoo, that had been made in Brazil. The product was much stronger than shampoos made in the United States, by the same company. My scalp was mildly burned.

This happened to me one time. I threw the shampoo in the trash, when I got back to the U.S. Until the 1910s, African-Americans had no recourse to hair care products that met their needs. The experience I had, once, was the lot of Black men, women and children-until Sarah Breedlove began her line of hair care and beauty products, marketed under the brand name Madam C.J. Walker’s . That name was taken, in honour of Sarah’s third husband, Charles Joseph Walker. It was the custom of many married women in that time to refer to themselves by their husband’s full name. Sarah divorced Charles in 1912, but kept his name until her death, in 1919. (Charles would outlive her by seven years.)

Sarah developed her line of Afrocentric beauty products, after suffering for several years with the use of products that led to severe dandruff and eczema-and eventually to hair loss. Experimenting, from the base line of products sold by one Annie Malone, Madam C.J. Walker became America’s first self-made female millionaire and brought attention to the skin and hair care needs of African-American women- bringing a host of products that moved beyond the folk remedies that had sustained people, both during and after the days of enslavement.

From this first line of such products, and from competitors such as Annie Malone and later, Sarah Spencer Washington, came a bona fide effort to teach African-American women the essentials of proper hair and skin care. This effort expanded, in the mid-Twentieth Century, to those Caribbean and Central American nations with significant Black communities. It has now gone worldwide.

Sarah Breedlove/Madam C.J. Walker brought grace and elegance to the lives of countless women whose needs had heretofore been ignored. She deserves a place of honour in this Women’s History Month.

You Only THINK…

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Posted by on in collaborating, Family, impediments, Matters of Faith, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 10, 2021-

A story I heard today set me to musing.

In reality, there is no time when I don’t love my family members, to a one. You only THINK that I have left you behind.

There is no amount of trouble that could turn me away from my child. You only THINK that time and distance have crafted a wall.

There is no barrier tall or thick enough that could get between me and my God. Some only THINK that they can be that impediment.

There is no lie enticing enough, shimmering enough, to convince me that down is up. Some only THINK that its repetition will do the trick.

There is no true link between narcissism and piety. The narcissist only THINKS that a tie can be contrived between the two.

Be careful. What you think becomes your reality. It will not become mine.

Threads

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Posted by on in collaborating, Education, Inner Struggles, Personal Values, Poetry, Social, Striving

March 9, 2021-

The thread of enjoyment extended out, as a friend took in one of my favourite restaurants, on her own, and found it good.

The thread of caring got a little longer, as the powers that be offered more assistance to a long-neglected teen, and it will be good.

The thread of preparation is getting clearer, as a storm approaches us, and people mentally get ready for winter’s last gasp. It will be okay.

The thread of assurance is getting stronger, as there is some enticement to return to an untenable situation, which it is best to resist. I will be fine.

International Women’s Day

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Posted by on in Assistance, collaborating, impediments, Inner Struggles, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 8, 2021- I look out the window, this lovely afternoon, and see buds tentatively clinging to the trees. They seem to sense that the late winter storm, forecast for Thursday through Saturday, is on its way. They will survive, and will show themselves more fully with the warming temperatures of next week.

Women, worldwide, face the tempests of lingering resistance by many men-and some women, to the recognition that there is nothing to fear from assertive womanhood. There is always a residual feeling, among some of my fellows, that if power is shared, then power is lost. This impacts everything from voter registration among people of colour to the presence of women in fields of work traditionally set aside for men. There is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to fulfill the traditional role of stay-at-home mother, as long as it is her choice.

On this International Women’s Day, we see that just about every field of endeavour is now open to all, regardless of sex. Women in firefighting, auto mechanics, the building trades and in a variety of sports have had tough rows to hoe. Male physicians have even put up some resistance to regarding female colleagues as equals, as have men engaged throughout the sciences.

The bar of performance is sometimes raised higher for women, in nontraditional fields, as a passive- aggressive way of discouraging their participation. Thankfully, it has by and large not worked. Women, in any given profession and trade, are as competent as men-and do their level best to contribute meaningfully to their chosen field. There are always those not individually suited to a particular job, but this has nothing inherently to do with gender.

May the advancement of women, in all fields, long continue.

Estrangers

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Posted by on in American Legion, collaborating, Community, impediments, Inspiration, Matters of Faith, Personal goals, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual

March 7, 2021- This morning, after ten years of my being a member, in good standing, of a veterans’ service organization, the matter of my Faith was raised-specifically that I am viewed by some, who I have known and with whom I’ve gotten along well for this past decade, as a “non-Christian”.

The context of this was with regard to a request that I serve again as the organization’s Chaplain, a post I held, with a good record of service and with no complaints registered, for two years, prior to embarking on several years of extensive travel. That latter stream of activity is set to resume in July of this year, and for that reason, I am declining the above request. An officer in a service organization needs to stay put-even in the days of Zoom and Microsoft Teams.

The larger issue here is that there is a shrinkage of the social circle of many people, partly a result of the political mayhem that has been afoot in this country, across the spectrum, for the past dozen years-if not longer, and partly because of a rising false narcissism, rooted in fear. Those I joined for breakfast, nearly each Sunday that I was in town, for the past ten years, have taken to talking only among themselves and shoving everyone else, including yours truly, to the sidelines. A culture of estrangement has taken root, which can only be detrimental to those who profess belief in the Paragon of Love. That embracing of parochialism has, from what I’ve seen in the past, only led to bitterness.

I cannot, and will not, turn aside from my Heavenly Father, in the name of a label. I cannot, and will not, let “estrangers” define who I am. So, with all prayer and loving regard for the members of said service organization, it’s time to move on.

Much Obliged?

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Family, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 6, 2021- This morning, one of my dearest friends invited me to a small gathering, set for tomorrow afternoon, with the caveat that I should not feel an obligation to attend. I am delighted to receive the invitation, and the last thing I think is that it is an imperative.

This set me to thinking: How many actual things in life are an obligation? There are relatively few, and virtually all are role-dependent. Many of us have heard it said, “The only things sure in this life are death and taxes.” For some, only the first is regarded as certain.

The word obligation often brings the image of something one does only while kicking and screaming. I will have to say this, with regard to my own life, at present: I do what I do, only out of love-Love of God. If one loves God, then one loves His creatures. So, as a parent-I take whatever time my son, and by extension my daughter-in-law (and in the future, their children) ask of me. As a citizen, I obey the laws of any community, state(province) or nation in which I find myself. As a member of any group, I contribute to the ideas, needs and agendas of the gathering-whether it is family, Faith-based, civic or charitable.

All of what I am presently doing is something of my choice. So, there is only one “obligation”, if you will. That is to keep my word. That said, I am going to bring this post to a close, as I have promised another friend that I will visit her shop, for a special event. It will also be a delightful time.

Transitions

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Posted by on in Family, impediments, Inspiration, Personal Values, Social, Spiritual, Striving

March 5, 2021, Phoenix- She took her last breath, ten years ago this morning. She was still warm to the touch, as I walked to the side of her bed, having arrived three minutes too late for a real-time goodbye. Yet, when I had awakened, an hour before, in our home of eight years, the bedroom we had shared was filled with a very heavy energy, the likes of which I have not experienced before or since. At the hospice site, our son and I were greeted by an upwardly swirling of dust, on an otherwise still morning.

Today, I returned to the gravesite I have visited so many times, this past decade. This time, I sat for the better part of an hour, praying and meditating. There was a couple looking for a loved one’s grave, which turned out to be on the other side of the cemetery. Otherwise, I was in solitude with the spirit of my spouse of twenty-nine years.

Penny has long since transitioned to a better place. I am still in transition to being a better person. In this past ten years, I have broken trust three times, been called out for it, almost immediately and learned to do better. I have had my integrity, with regards to how I view women, called into question and after initially taking umbrage at the criticism, done a deep dive into exactly how change was in order. It has been well worth the soul search. While I am still peripatetic at my core, being part of a community is more essential to me, than it had been in years past.

I had a groundswell of support, during the five months after Penny’s transition. It was ironic that some of those who were warm with their words, immediately afterward, were later so vicious in their attacks. They have long since vanished from my life. Family members are there, when I need them, and I, when they need me, Mostly, though, the contacts are short and sweet-and their lives don’t intertwine with mine so much any more. It is partly physical distance; partly the fullness of each others’ lives-and it may well change, as time goes on and disease abates. It is my core of friends, who also ebb and flow with their presence, who keep me honest and forging onward.

Today ends one decade of living transition and begins another. I wonder, as to how it might feel to be an octogenarian, in 2031. In the meantime, there is much on which to work and life from which to learn.

Madame Curie

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Posted by on in collaborating, Education, Inspiration, Striving

March 4, 2021- In all the annals of the accomplishments of women in the scientific community, Marie Sklodowska Curie, (1867-1934), stands tall-as both the first woman ever to win a Nobel Prize and in two fields, yet: Physics (shared with her husband, Pierre, and Henri Becquerel) and Chemistry. The Physics Prize stemmed from the trio’s work in the field of radioactivity, which is a term coined by Marie. The Chemistry Prize came in 1911, for her discovery of the elements Polonium and Radium, using her own techniques for isolating radioactive isotopes. Madame Curie established the Curie Institute in Paris (1920) and in Warsaw (1932). She would eventually die from the effects of exposure to radiation, in 1934, at the age of 66.

Marie’s father, Wladyslaw Sklodowski, was a gifted educator in mathematics and physics-and imparted a love of those subjects to his five children, especially to Marie and her older sister, Bronislawa. He insisted that his daughters get a solid university education. Madame Curie took this knowledge to a higher level, but never lost her gentility and modesty. She remains a beacon to all, men and women alike, who find themselves drawn to the Physical Sciences.

Dance The Moon

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Posted by on in Inspiration, Personal Values, Poetry, Spiritual, Striving

March 3, 2021-

Dance the Moon, my diligent friend. Your work is, and will be, reaping grand rewards. You have a magnificent mind, with heart to match and a drive that will bring sustenance to many.

Dance Mars, my solitary chum. We may walk many miles together, amongst the red rocks. You will heal many, also, through careful measure of l that which brings salubrity.

Dance Venus, oh sad, yet resilient blessing to my soul. I hear your heart’s every palpitation, and know that the warmth of your heart will sustain you, through all grief.

Dance the stars, my eternally best beloved. Dance, sing, and guide us who stayed behind. We have many who look to us in wonder, and can not afford to skip a beat.

Women’s Inventiveness

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Posted by on in collaborating, Community, Inspiration, Personal Values, Service Activities, Striving

March 2, 2021- Mother always chortled at the notion that women were anything less than inventive. She essentially told us, “Anyone who thinks, for a minute, that a person can raise children without being the paragon of inventiveness, is nuts.

March is Women’s History Month, so I’d like to note the hugeness of this topic underscores the fact that men, by themselves, can only do a percentage of what needs doing, in moving the human race forward. Here are the stories of two women who invented objects that are today seen as ordinary, but which made a huge difference in everyone’s life.

Margaret E. Knight (1838-1914) was the inventor of the machine that produced the flat-bottomed paper bag, of lid-removing pliers, of a safety device for mechanical looms, of a numbering machine, of a window frame and sash, and of several devices related to the operation of rotary engines. Ms. Knight never married, regarding her inventions as her children. The flat-bottomed paper bag, alone, saved people from the carpal tunnel that resulted from dealing with envelope-style paper bags, day after day. The safety guard for mechanical looms, her earliest invention (at age 12), undoubtedly saved many people from being stabbed by sharp looming threaders and industrial-sized needles which could otherwise be jarred loose and become projectiles.

Bette Nesmith Graham (1924-1980) was the inventor of Liquid Paper, the first commercially successful correctional fluid. Her idea came from the remembrance that artists routinely paint over their mistakes, usually with white paint. Adapting this technique to the common business office, she managed to market correctional fluid, first for typewritten error correction, then for mistakes made using pen and ink. Liquid Paper remains useful in the latter instance, even in these days of largely computerized printing. Fun Fact: Bette Nesmith Graham was the mother of the musician Michael Nesmith, who performed as a member of The Monkees, a 1960s pop music group.

There are ever more far-reaching fruits coming from the human mind, which can never truly be compartmentalized according to physical gender, much less to the circumstances of one’s birth. I will continue, throughout March, to underscore the value of recognizing women’s contributions to our heritage.