February 26, 2022- The forthright man told of his reaction when one of his children broke the news of gender reassignment. He also had the courage to walk alongside that child and grew in his understanding of what was behind the process. When that child’s life ended, father and child parted as friends. Most importantly, the adult child was friend to self.
When I was a child, I was far from athletic and presented a gentle disposition. That didn’t set all that well with some of the other boys in the neighbourhood, or with those in my paternal grandmother’s neighbourhood, when we visited over there, every other Sunday. In retrospect, the bullying wasn’t all that bad and I was rarely attacked physically. One thing I always knew, though, was that I was solely interested in girls, and never felt the secret urge to BE one.
Not everyone is clear, as to their gender, as their childhood and adolescence progress. The reasons for this range widely-possibly the effects of additives in foods, possibly chemical imbalances, possibly lack of either same sex or opposite sex role model. The causes are all speculative, but the result, for those who choose gender reassignment, is a physically and emotionally excruciating process-lasting several years and possibly the rest of the person’s life.
I have friends who are transgender. It is because of them that I have made my own transition, from glib detractor of those who chose gender reassignment to one who sees the background of the process more clearly. The person who makes such an irreversible choice does not lose humanity nor becomes less worthy of the love of friends and family. The person grows in need to be enveloped in love, much as does a woman who undergoes an abortion or someone who is suffering an addiction. No one has the right to discount another person’s pain.
The young adult mentioned above died while asleep, and was thankfully in a supportive living space. Suffering appeared to have come to an end. What she knew about herself was confirmed-and accepted by those around her, at long last.
I will forever be glad to be male and cisgender; (he/him). I extend the peace of identity to everyone.
Acceptance is everything. With several family members grappling with this issue and attempting to clarify their own identities, we have been along on the journey.
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It is bound to touch any large family, sooner or later.